Opinion Pittsburgh apologizes for the inconvenience - An insufferable left-coaster moves to a flyover city and complains it's not her 15-minute-city paradise

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Editor’s note: PublicSource is dedicated to sharing a wide variety of voices. This first-person essay is part of a collection focused on the experiences of living in the Pittsburgh region. These essays highlight both the unique charm and the common struggles of our community. Discover more perspectives at PublicSource First Person.

Moving to Pittsburgh, even temporarily, was never my plan.

On April 2, 2022, I set out via Amtrak from Washington State to Vermont hoping to take my animal communicator business to the Green Mountain State. But the non-existent rental housing in that state caused me to cough up my savings and ditch my plans. As my funds dwindled, I had two weeks to decide where to go next — Ohio, New York, Indiana or Pennsylvania. I chose Erie, with its Presque Isle State Park and gemlike sunsets.

But 10 months later, after breaking my ankle and braving Erie’s limp economy, I found myself in between homes again. This time, though, I had neither reliable housing, nor the social service cushion offered in Vermont.

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Patricia Herlevi, of Mt. Lebanon, outside of the Mt. Lebanon Municipal Building on May 7. (Photo by Benjamin Brady/Public Source)

The agreeable landlords from 10 months earlier had changed their tune. They were no longer willing to rent to me. I hopped between Airbnb rentals and a church, where eventually the reverend from Edinboro talked me into giving Pittsburgh a try.

Pittsburgh seemed attractive, at least in the photos that peppered social media posts. Yellow bridges spanned three rivers with skyscrapers gracing the background. I was intrigued by the Mexican War Streets, Squirrel Hill, Shadyside and Oakland, home to the iconic Carnegie-Mellon University, where my favorite musical — “Godspell” — was conceived.


But the Pittsburgh that appears on social media and the social ills of the real Pittsburgh share little in common. I wish that I had researched Pittsburgh’s air quality, which ranks among the worst of American cities. And perhaps a visit to test out the hilly terrain would have saved me future misery. Even Vermont was easier to navigate.

I’m from the West Coast, where there are reliable social services, efficient recycling programs and organic farms. I’ve realized that my health nut West Coast lifestyle just isn’t suitable for the Iron City.



Dystopian transit​

For decades, I have advocated for alternative transportation centered on a reliable bus and train system. At first, I thought I would find that in Pittsburgh.

That was until I rode Pittsburgh Regional Transit’s 61C from Oakland to Homestead and then had to walk more than a mile, mostly uphill, to West Homestead. A PRT round trip from Downtown to West Homestead took three hours. And prior to anyone telling me about the ConnectCard, I spent $2.75 each time I boarded a bus, even when my routes involved multiple transfers. A round trip to the East End Food Co-op in Point Breeze North didn’t just gobble most of my daytime hours, it drained my wallet.

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A Pittsburgh Regional Transit bus stop’s re-routed schedule posted at Wood Street and Fifth Avenue on May 7. (Photo by Benjamin Brady/Public Source)

As the months wore on, I found that downtown Pittsburgh is riddled with construction and bus rerouting. The T stations are closed for days and platforms might be closed for weeks for construction projects. A Wood Street escalator rehabilitation project that was scheduled for completion in April is still ongoing, forcing me to find the stations with working escalators or elevators that don’t smell like urine because I have mobility issues. While at first I thought the trains were fun, eventually my ears grew numb from the repetitive messages about station closures, rerouting or the dystopian message about reporting abandoned packages: “If you see something, say something.”

And if I’m not already yanking out my hair, PRT expresses its concern: “We apologize for the inconvenience.”



Greedy property managers​

After several months of staying at Airbnb rentals owned by real estate investors and meeting overly caffeinated leasing agents with master’s degrees in gaslighting, I finally rented an apartment in Mt. Lebanon. While renting from a management company had been on my “absolutely no” list, I succumbed to desperation and the freezing weather of Pittsburgh in January.

I signed a 17-page lease online that reawakened OCD behavior. Several pages laid out what a tenant was permitted and required to do in their apartment. For example, not washing dishes immediately or leaving dirty clothing on the floor were causes for eviction, according to the lease. Not reporting cracks on the plastered walls or failing to report cracks in the caulking could lead to hefty fees when vacating the apartment at the end of the lease. The lease also mentioned that I was expected to hire a professional cleaner upon vacating, despite the dismal condition of the apartment when I moved in.

The storage unit that came with the apartment was already being used by another tenant.



I had to change the name on my mailbox and I had to clean dead bugs out of the apartment. Allergic to dust, I pulled out the latex gloves to wash the filthy blinds. The property manager ignored my pre-move-in maintenance requests, and she didn’t provide a checklist on which I could record the many shortcomings. “Just type up your list and email it to me,” she said.

It took me three days to get internet service because the property management only allowed one vendor — Comcast — to supply the building, so I was unable to turn in my move-in checklist within 24 hours as required by the lease.

When I phoned the maintenance department to ask about the status of repairs, a cheerful answering service took my message and then weeks passed by.

I finally filed a complaint with the Allegheny County Health Department and maintenance fixed the bathroom window but the cracked caulking around the window and removal of moth pupa inside the windows was only addressed three months later.

The property manager allows the garbage to overflow, which I view from my kitchen window. The manager hasn’t addressed smokers in the building despite the lease forbidding it. The common areas remain unclean, the lawn unmowed. And then there’s the pesky problem of the pillars holding up the front of the building that are rotting at the base.

The property manager responded: “We apologize for the inconvenience.”

Restrictions for medical rides​

I was denied Allegheny County Medical Assistance Transportation Program rides to doctor’s appointments across the city, although this was never a problem in my home state. I suffer from Lyme disease, which on a bad day causes numb legs and vertigo. I also have tried to navigate the bus system while struggling with brain fog and chronic fatigue. You’d think any competent doctor would see balance issues and muscle weakness as a disability, but those I’ve seen refuse to sign the application that would give me some state-sponsored mobility assistance.

After I moved to Mt. Lebanon, I called MATP to ask about getting a ride to a neurologist in Monroeville. Otherwise, I would have to take a train Downtown and wait around for an infrequent bus service that would take an hour to get me to Monroeville once I finally boarded. I thought the 40-mile round trip — with all its laborious connections — would meet the requirements for a medical ride, but no. Because the clinic was only a 10-minute walk from the nearest bus stop in Monroeville, a MATP representative told me that I only qualified for bus tickets, which I could get from the nonprofit Travelers Aid.



I canceled the appointment and searched for another neurology clinic closer to Mt. Lebanon. Those clinics, however, either didn’t return my calls or weren’t taking new patients. I found a neurologist in Oakland — not as far as Monroeville — but I still had to hope that the transit was running on time, and that I didn’t make the trip during a downpour or an electrical storm.

When I aired my concerns, the county repeated some version of “We apologize for the inconvenience.”

Judging from YouTube videos produced by Pittsburgh’s real estate agents and local documentarians, my original impression was that the city, with its 90 distinct neighborhoods and the former stomping grounds of Gene Kelly and Rachel Carson, was delightful. After all, the video hosts treated Pittsburgh like a comeback kid that became the most livable city in the United States. I thought of the underdog Rocky slogging up those stairs in Philadelphia, only this was Pittsburgh.

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Patricia Herlevi plans to go back to the Pacific Northwest in search of services and amenities she did not find in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh will surely be very sad to lose such an upstanding transplant. (Photo by Benjamin Brady/Public Source)

The city I encountered is subject to unpredictable weather, smells like an outhouse on warmer days and exudes despair and inequality. I made the decision in January to sign a short-term lease and when it expires on June 30, I’m returning to Washington State where I have the support I require.

My impression of Pittsburgh and Allegheny County is that the public services don’t care. Many of the charities don’t care. The landlords don’t care. Many residents seem like they have given up, and I understand why.

Pittsburgh apologizes for the inconvenience.

Editor’s notes: PublicSource reached out to Pittsburgh Regional Transit and the Allegheny County Department of Human Services. Both agencies declined to comment on the accounts in this essay. Post-publication, this essay was amended to reflect the author’s recent receipt of help from the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, Dress for Success and the South Hills Interfaith Movement.

Patricia Herlevi is an energy-healer, astrologer and writer who ended up in Pittsburgh. She has contributed articles to the Brattleboro Reformer, Monadnock Table Magazine, Vermont Country Magazine and other publications throughout the United States and Canada. She advocates for social and environmental justice. On good days, she has a sense of humor and occasionally she enjoys a soapbox rant. If you want to send a message to Patricia, email firstperson@publicsource.org.
 
I stopped reading at "animal communicator".

Whatever self-inflicted hardship this insufferable woman suffers, it's not nearly the amount of suffering she deserves.
 
OK, former Pittsburgher here... I lived there for 2 years when I was working on some Marcellus Shale projects. I'd like to address this entitled bitches complaints point by point... And and if she thinks the air quality is bad now (which it really isn't), she should have seen what it was like in the 70s or 80s when the steel mills were still running full bore.

I hopped between Airbnb rentals and a church, where eventually the reverend from Edinboro talked me into giving Pittsburgh a try.
I'm sure the reverend got as sick of you and your whiny bullshit as any other sane human being would, and just wanted you the fuck out of there.
And perhaps a visit to test out the hilly terrain would have saved me future misery.
Three of the steepest streets in the US are in Pittsburgh. I should know, I used to live at the top of one of them. It's in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains for God's sake, what did you expect?
For decades, I have advocated for alternative transportation centered on a reliable bus and train system. At first, I thought I would find that in Pittsburgh.
For a city of its size, Pittsburgh has an excellent public transit system. The T alone sets it apart from most small cities, and the bus system is quite extensive.
While at first I thought the trains were fun, eventually my ears grew numb from the repetitive messages about station closures, rerouting or the dystopian message about reporting abandoned packages: “If you see something, say something.”
Has this bitch never been on a train or subway in her life? Literally anywhere I've been all over the world does this to keep passengers abreast of how closures might impact their commute. And it's not a "dystopian message", it's trying to prevent people using the system from getting bombed.
I finally rented an apartment in Mt. Lebanon
Well now this is where it's starting to get really retarded. Mt. Lebo is one of the more expensive neighborhoods in the city because they have one of the best school systems in the city, thus parents with school-aged kids flock there, thus driving prices up considerably.
For example, not washing dishes immediately or leaving dirty clothing on the floor were causes for eviction, according to the lease. Not reporting cracks on the plastered walls or failing to report cracks in the caulking could lead to hefty fees when vacating the apartment at the end of the lease. The lease also mentioned that I was expected to hire a professional cleaner upon vacating, despite the dismal condition of the apartment when I moved in.
You know those icky dead bugs you hated so much? Living in squalor tends to attract them, and it's much simpler to prevent an infestation than it is to get rid of one. The cracks in the plaster or caulk? These buildings are OLD, most date to 100 years ago if not older. You let a crack spread, and you have a real problem on your hands that could potentially render the entire building unsafe. And every lease says that you have to have a professional cleaner and/or carpet cleaner come in, that's a standard lease provision anywhere.
It took me three days to get internet service because the property management only allowed one vendor — Comcast — to supply the building, so I was unable to turn in my move-in checklist within 24 hours as required by the lease.
It has nothing to do with the property manager, in that part of the city, Comcast is the only cable vendor who services the area. And do you not have a cell phone? What exactly was preventing you from using it to send your move-in checklist?
And then there’s the pesky problem of the pillars holding up the front of the building that are rotting at the base.
By "front of the building, you mean the entryway, because I know how these buildings are built. There's no substantial load, oh, and did I mention that these buildings are OLD?
wait around for an infrequent bus service that would take an hour to get me to Monroeville once I finally boarded. I thought the 40-mile round trip
It's a bus, not a taxi, it works on the buses schedule, not yours. And from Mt. Lebo, even if you drove yourself, yeah, it's going to take you an hour each way to get to Monroeville. 40 miles takes a while especially with traffic. You're in the mountains, not everything can be built in a straight line, flatlander.
After all, the video hosts treated Pittsburgh like a comeback kid that became the most livable city in the United States.
Compared to literally any other city in the Rust Belt, Pittsburgh is about the only one that has been able to revitalize itself. It's a tech hub now, Carnegie Mellon attracts some of the best robotics and computer science talent from around the world, and literally every major tech company has an office in Pittsburgh for exactly that reason.
The city I encountered is subject to unpredictable weather,
Welcome to life in flyover country. You think Pittsburgh is bad? Try living in Nebraska or Oklahoma for unpredictable weather.
smells like an outhouse on warmer days
This just is 100% not true at all. You must be thinking of San Francisco.

God, this woman is insufferable, and knowing what I know of the good people of Pittsburgh, I'll bet none of them could stand her. As they would say, "Get out ya jagoff, we don't want y'inz here anyways!"
 
animal communicator business
A disciple of Penelope Smith! :story:
unpredictable weather
...I'll grant that "9 months of rain and 3 months of maybe not rain" is pretty predictable but she is aware that unless you're headed to the literal equator it's gonna be more like Pittsburgh than Seattle almost anywhere you go, right? Some of the many geese that fly through the PNW should have been able to tell her this. :smug:
Has this bitch never been on a train or subway in her life? Literally anywhere I've been all over the world does this to keep passengers abreast of how closures might impact their commute. And it's not a "dystopian message", it's trying to prevent people using the system from getting bombed.
Well, given she came from Seattle specifically and the PNW broadly, the answer is probably no. It's only recently that light rail remotely resembling something useful has started going in, it's basically all buses around here AFAIK.
 
Pittsburgh is one of the best cities in the world if you have some shitty medical conditions because of UPMC. So much so that demand for appointments is insane. Maybe do some research before you move somewhere dummy
 
And and if she thinks the air quality is bad now (which it really isn't), she should have seen what it was like in the 70s or 80s when the steel mills were still running full bore.
And that was AFTER the EPA stepped in.... wanna know how bad it was before then? In the 40's and 50's?

It got so bad in parts of the Ohio River Valley that people just dropped dead from the poor air quality - you should look up the "Donora Smog of 48' "

(Not YOU-you, HER-you, I'm assuming you're already aware of it )

...I'll grant that "9 months of rain and 3 months of maybe not rain" is pretty predictable but she is aware that unless you're headed to the literal equator it's gonna be more like Pittsburgh than Seattle almost anywhere you go, right? Some of the many geese that fly through the PNW should have been able to tell her this. :smug:
Also, what's the point of complaining about the weather?

What's she want City Hall to do?

Change it?

How?!

Invent a weather machine for her?

Wait, no, she thinks she can read cat's minds, she probably DOES think they have a weather machine and won't pay for a proper software debugging.... good cripes...

They say the litmus test of an asshole is someone who is rude to the waitstaff. That's not true. It's those who complain about WEATHER as if it's a negotiable civic issue.
 
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I can't believe this chick is shocked that writing "animal communicator business" under "employment" on a rental application resulted in her living in a flophouse.
 
God this woman is such a trip. So entitled and yet so incredibly naïve it's unreal. Here's the story of what happened in Vermont.

Started with a Map of the US

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I wrote this essay for a submission request. I believe it was for Sun Magazine. The requested theme was on a found object–for me it was a map of the US 50 States. The essay was rejected and since I don’t like anything to go to waste, I’m resurrecting it and posting it here for your enjoyment.

My work is human-generated. And since I’m a human, I need to earn or receive money, even donations for my work. Please generously support this blog. Thank you.

The Map to Vermont

After living in Bellingham, Washington for several years, the last thing I wanted to do was to move to another part of the state. However, in 2017, finding a rental in Bellingham was like having the winning lottery ticket. And since a house or an apartment was the equivalent of an endangered species, I had made the mistake of sharing a house with a stranger. I even broke my rule and decided to live with a man.

Needless to say after several months of psychological abuse which I endured, the man pulled up in a U-Haul truck and finally moved out. But this left me with a house I couldn’t rent on my own. This led to me seeking out other cities in Washington State that still had rentals available or were as good as Bellingham. I chose Port Townsend–a charming Victorian seaport on the Peninsula. Only finding housing wasn’t available there for people who weren’t affluent. So, I ended up living with my parents for four years and fostering a German shorthaired pointer for half that time.
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Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com
It took weeks to clear out a space in the room for me to live. But I didn’t tackle the overstuffed closet until the lockdowns during the pandemic. I had nothing better to do so I sought out different rooms in the house to clean and to clear out the clutter which were results of my mom’s hoarding. While I reached the near bottom of the closet, I found a map of the US in mint condition. I assumed that my nephew bought the map for geology lessons in middle school. I used the map to cover up the holes in the walls that were the results of a gaming console that I had removed.

The only room available in the house had just been vacated by my nephew who moved back to Santa Cruz. But unfortunately, he had crammed the 10 x 10 room with snowboarding gear, computers and gaming devices, books, clothing, that were ensconced in every corner with junk food stuffed under the heater and an old futon stuffed underneath the bed. The closet was stuffed to the brim with not only his belongings, but also possessions that had belonged to several members of the family including records that one would be too embarrassed to say they had listened to back in the 1980s.
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And while this was just a US map that any middle school student would have in his possession, the map offered an escape for me. When I looked at it, I envisioned myself in a sprinter van with a traveling buddy crossing the states bordering Canada or perhaps, diving down from Washington State into Oregon and driving along the coast, connecting to the famed Route 66 and then heading up to the Midwest and into the Northeast. We would arrive in Vermont or Maine during the peak of leaf season.

One day when I was indulging my curiosity I asked Google which US state had the most vegan cafes and restaurants. I was surprised when Maine came up. This led me to research Maine, a state I hadn’t thought of much until that moment. The rugged coastline, the moose in the winter, and the vegan cafes caused me to wonder if I could move to Maine. Yes, it was over 3,000 miles away from my current location. And yes, it was an impossible and implausible dream because I didn’t know anything about Maine and I knew no one in that state.

So, I tried the idea out on my friends, “What if I moved to Maine?”

“Why would you move to Maine? Didn’t you know it’s a red state?”
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“It also has the most vegans per capita in the city of Portland. It has a beautiful coastline and I’ve not lived near the Atlantic yet, at least not permanently.”

Some of my friends suggested that I move to Vermont instead.

“Why, Vermont?”

“Because,” one friend quipped, “It’s a blue state. Didn’t you say that you supported Senator Bernie Sander’s bid for US President?”

“I did that twice but I’ve never thought of moving to Vermont. I don’t even know anything about the state except that maple syrup, Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and Bernie comes from there. Yes, they celebrate four seasons, with a fiery autumn, much like Maine, by the way…”

The problem was the map stared at me from the wall every day . And while it didn’t speak to me in words, it stirred a passion for freedom and for wondering what it would be like to live in another state across the country. The itch wouldn’t go away and the lockdown in a tiny room at my parents’ house didn’t help.

I clung to the idea of moving to Maine even though I knew I would never actually do it. But slowly, Vermont created an itch in my brain that I needed to scratch. Would it hurt to research the Green Mountain State that had been praised by my friends (only one had visited Vermont)? Was it the real Vermont or the concept of Vermont that eventually hooked me? Or was it that map haunting me when I worked on my computer and when I slept in the bed next to it at night.

Would it hurt if I watched videos on the lifestyle and cultures of people in Vermont? I thought I could learn new information but I still wasn’t ready to move to a state where I didn’t know anyone.

While all this was going on, I was taking online classes and becoming certified as an animal communicator, life coach, sound therapist, and a Reiki Master. The more classes I took and the more certification I earned, I noticed the world opening up to me. Now, the idea of moving to the Northeast didn’t seem so farfetched. I had skills and someone would pay for me for using them, so I thought. What if I joined with others and formed a holistic retreat center for dogs? And wouldn’t Vermont with its bucolic hills covered in maple and other leafy trees be the ideal location? Sadly, I didn’t know about the ticks at the time. That would come later when the joke was on me.
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So, each morning, I logged onto my computer and gazed at the map which was now taunting me. “You don’t believe that you can travel 3,000 miles without a car or someone to drive you? What will you do with all your belongings?”

I had a bedroom full of my belongings that I removed from a storage unit.

And don’t even think about flying, you’re phobic of airplanes,” so said the map–the map of sirens calling me on a foolish quest.

My research continued with virtually every video waxing on about the beauty and charm of the villages and small cities in Vermont. The state boasted the smallest capitol and that there were no McDonald’s in Montpelier (those were in nearby Barre). At the time, there was an art college and a cooking school. There was footage melting with sentiment showing the happy families who had made Montpelier their home for several generations. And Vermont was the right state to raise their kids. Oh, Vermont could do nothing wrong. I developed a crush on the Northeast gem.

Sure there were the naysayers who lamented about the depressed economy and the amount of Vermonters living below the poverty line. There were news headlines about a drug epidemic, but could it be worse than what Seattle was experiencing? Surely, it wasn’t worse than what San Francisco or Portland, Oregon were dealing with. And there was a headline or two that mentioned a scarcity of rental housing. Wasn’t that happening across the US?

And still the states on the map called to me. “You’re not happy in Washington. The grass is greener in Vermont and there isn’t smoke from the wildfires that had covered the western states each summer and autumn.”

And it’s true outside of the chimney smoke during a Vermont winter (most of the year), Vermont boasted the cleanest air in the US, or at least landed in the top ten states.
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Vermont was near to other states I had wanted to visit such as Massachusetts and New York. Plus, I could finally visit Montreal, a dream of mine since the 1976 World Olympic Games.

I had the impression at the time after talking to the director of the Chamber of Commerce in Brattleboro that I could easily bus to Massachusetts and New Hampshire. This, I found out later, wasn’t possible but might have been possible prior to the pandemic. The joke on me was that videos I watched with glowing reviews of Vermont were produced in 2019 and prior to the pandemic.

Eventually, after months of research I decided that I would relocate to Vermont, even though I originally had sought out Maine as my destination. And I was fortunate to have received stimulus money for entrepreneurs which I stuffed into my bank account. I had enough money to relocate to Vermont and I had enough money to pay several months of rent, if I found an apartment right away. Looking back, Vermonters laughed at fools like me.

I moved into a sublet on the south end of Whidbey Island in Washington State where I planned my relocation. But I no longer had the magic map with me because I left it at my parents’ house in the room that had once been my nephew’s room and prior to that, my sister’s room. It didn’t matter. I knew the states I would need to cross to reach my destination–Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, (part of Indiana), Ohio, New York and then to Vermont. That’s the route had I ridden in a sprinter van with a travel buddy.

But I never found a travel buddy. I couldn’t afford the professional drivers. And I wasn’t going to hop on a plane without experiencing a total meltdown. Plus, I didn’t want to wear a face mask for long hours or sit next to someone hacking the entire trip.

So, I booked two trains with Amtrak. I hopped the Empire Builder near Seattle and that 44 hour ride took me through Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin and then stopped in Chicago where I spent 6 hours until I boarded the North Shore Limited (for another 22 hours) which sadly left at 9:30 p.m. so I missed seeing all the states except a northwest corner of Pennsylvania, western New York, and parts of Massachusetts prior to embarking in Springfield. The next day I caught the last train only lasting an hour, the Vermonter which traveled through western Massachusetts and dumping me off in Brattleboro on April 6, 2022.

I have to say that after spending months researching Vermont, then several months planning the relocation and then 66 plus hours by train, Brattleboro was a disappointment. The businesses that appeared in the videos stood as landmarks beckoning me to visit, but there wasn’t a journalism job waiting for me as I originally thought. Renting an apartment was again, like buying a winning lottery ticket. And some of the first people to greet me when I disembarked from the train and rattled through its tiny train station (smallest one I’ve ever encountered), were drug addicts and people with severe mental illness. It’s not that I hadn’t been warned about the Retreat Farm (mental hospital) and the non-profits that littered the city but did little to solve the drug problems and crimes that resulted.

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I wasn’t going to let my vision of Vermont–the one I watched in videos fade away that quickly. Sure, I had a reality check and so did all the other fools who spent too much time on YouTube learning about the Hallmark holiday movie version of the state. Later, I learned from the people with the relocation cube company that I wasn’t the first person to aim my relocation cube to another state before unpacking it.

I gave Brattleboro too much of a chance, having stayed in the area for around four months. I rented an office for around $200 a month where I practically stayed or at least spent most of my time in between staying at vacation rentals and hotel rooms. I wrote articles for the Brattleboro Reformer and it’s magazine Vermont Country. I wrote for two magazines based out of Keene, New Hampshire even though I had never set foot in that state. And I worked with astrology clients, an animal communication client (one), and I raised money on my YouTube channel to continually pay to keep a roof over my head and gorge on Vermont’s overpriced but super fresh farm-to-the-table food.

In the midst of all that, plus spending time at a off-season religious retreat center near Wilmington and then eventually moving to Montpelier, where I only stayed for five weeks, I caught Lyme disease.

Today, I wonder about that magical map. Was it a blessing or a curse? When I left Washington State I was in relatively good health. I had $20K in my bank account which Vermont would consume later. I had been encouraged by most people to pursue my dreams and relocate to Vermont. But I wonder if anyone really believed I would or could do it. I didn’t think I would and I had to pinch myself when I landed in Brattleboro, which wasn’t at all like the Land of Munchkins which I wrote about in my memoir on the housing plight in Vermont.

I had been warned by a psychic in Washington State not to relocate to Vermont. “It will be rough and you could end up homeless, but your friend will help you.”

At the time, I wondered about this mysterious friend. I made many friends in Vermont and there were both visible and invisible hands that helped me on my Quixotic quest. My experience in Vermont were both out-of-this-world fantastic and tragic. I’m sure in time I’ll recover from Lyme and if I publish my books, I’ll replace the money I lost.

I end with the saying, nothing ventured, nothing gained. That’s the message of the magical map and the desire for freedom that crept into my soul during the 2020 lockdowns. All maps lead us to somewhere, but that map didn’t guide me back home.

I’m in Pittsburgh until the end of June when I’ll be doing another road trip, this time to Washington State. I’m raising the money through crowd funding. If you would like to help this writer return home, please donate. Thank you.

Six Months in Vermont (and the failed quest to find a home in the Green Mountain State)

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I’m working on the third draft of a memoir that chronicles six months I spent in Vermont spending my stimulus money on vacation rentals and hotel rooms as I searched for the elusive long-term rental. My original vision was to work as an animal communicator in Vermont and to eventually help create a holistic retreat center for dogs. Sadly, I was immersed in poverty, and surrounded by the opioid epidemic(no, I’m not a user).


My memoir begins as I planned my journey to the postcard perfect state and then I share my misadventures in Brattleboro, Wilmington, Jacksonville, Putney, and Montpelier. The story ends with my harrowing escape from ending up in a homeless shelter and landing in Erie, Pennsylvania just as my stimulus money dried up. This included a long distance cab ride from Montpelier to Albany followed by a 9 hour train trip from Albany to Erie, PA (during the night and sitting in coach).

This memoir is a cautionary tale to those folks who believe that the grass is greener in another place (although I admit, Vermont is as green as it gets). With so much restlessness and homelessness plaguing the US, think before you leap. When a city or state mentions that it has nearly 0 percent rentals available, listen. The good news, is I had material to write my third memoir. All is not lost.

And somewhat related, here is her account of her time being homeless for three months for no reason.

Women Sleeping on the Couch (Excerpt from Memoir reflecting on Homelessness)

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This is memoir reflects on events from September to December 2014.

My journey began with a cough, not a clear the throat kind of cough, but one that pushed me out on a limb. While I took the sign of asthma returning seriously, my landlords refused to budge, that is, the words, “reasonable accommodations” traveled from one ear to the other without making an impact. After all, living in a laissez-faire city such as Bellingham, Washington, one is required to go with the flow. Only I couldn’t because of a cough that started innocently then kept me up at night-worrying and wondering where it was all heading.
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Me in 2013 living in the “ghetto apartment” in Bellingham WA

So when the Aquarius Full Moon appeared on the horizon mid August 2014, I gave notice to vacate the apartment and culprit of my cough, without any prospects of a new home. By the way, the Aquarius Full Moon represents unexpected events.

A friend who helped me move into that apartment responded to my e-mail with applause, “I admire you.” Hadn’t I been complaining about the apartment for three years? In that regard my decision was hardly heroic and more of a desperate act.

On the other hand, my father shouted on the other end of the phone, “Why are you moving out just because of lead in the plumbing and mold? We have lead in our home and you don’t see us moving!”

My mother who spoke in hush tones, agreed, “I believe you made a big mistake. Now, where are you going to go?”

True, moments passed when I agreed with her, but only in theory, not in practice. The outer world would label me a fool, but people on a spiritual path similar to my own, such as my friend who expressed admiration realized that important journeys begin with a leap into the unknown. Thanks to the wacky Aquarius Full Moon I had entered the free-falling mode.

During my last night at my Sehome ghetto apartment, I paced while anxious thoughts pinged around my mind like a pinball on a winning streak. Had I made a mistake? I had a peek-a-boo view of Bellingham Bay and a full view of downtown. I lived in a third floor apartment with wood floors and some Victorian charm (even if I’m partial to the Arts & Crafts style). Then my lungs erupted into another spasm.

But at two a.m., I wondered where I would sleep the following night. Even though Craig’s List bore some fruit as far as housing, none of it matched my wish list, which at that point resembled a novella.

This reminded me of the Abraham-Hicks Vortex and the rockets of desire I sent into that Vortex every time my Sehome apartment annoyed me. Hay House author Esther Hicks channeled a spirit collective that told us that when we experience what we don’t want, we send rockets of what we do want into an energetic field called a Vortex. Then when we match the frequency of the Vortex, we manifest our desires. Not so easy given all the drama we experience during the course of our everyday lives.

The home I envisioned in my vortex had no mold, rust, noisy neighbors, smell of pot, boiling cabbage, or fried fish. The vortex home had an elevator and a washer and dryer in the unit, not down four flights of stairs. And the kitchen had counter space, a fan, and tiled or wood floors. But, still sleep eluded me as my vortex filled up images of my perfect home, not materializing within twenty-four hours.

Sheer terror and my dream home didn’t exist on the same frequency on the vibration dial. I didn’t require Esther Hicks explaining that scenario to me. I already knew. Of course, I knew because as a metaphysical coach, I blogged about frequencies and tuning the vibration dial.

So the next day, I packed belongings, scrubbed the tub then arranged with friends to move my belongings into a storage unit that I rented at the last minute. I asked my parents to book a hotel room for me so I avoided sleeping on a street that night. And as it turned out, I never slept on the street and I refrained from ever calling myself “homeless” preferring the term “in between homes.” However, my permanent address was a post office box, hardly a home address.

Along the way, I met other middle-age women who also experienced their midlife crisis in between homes. I found some comfort in swapping stories especially with one woman who couch-surfed for a month then ended up in a cushy apartment with a garden in the sought after South Bellingham neighborhood. Even she lived on borrowed time since her personality hardly matched up with the empathic hermit in which she cohabited.

While I could have focused on the negative and ranted about challenging situations I faced on my housing quest during a housing shortage, I chose to tell my account from a humorous angle. I figured millions of people found themselves in similar situations every day. If I provided comical relief for those folks, they raised their frequency through laughter. And as they raised their frequency, they arrived closer to manifesting their dream home, even if that was just any moss-covered roof without leaks hanging over their heads.

Besides, who wouldn’t find storage unit diving (more like swimming), humorous as I searched for a pair of job interview shoes that I found located in the far back corner in the bottom of a tall bag? I crawled on my stomach over boxes, suitcases and garbage bags full of books, compact discs and clothing to the far corner of the unit, hoping not to sprain my ankles in the process. Then I tossed all the shoes in the top of the bag over my shoulders, grabbing the prize at the bottom of the bag. Voila!

By the time I completed this ordeal, which also involved dragging the boxes and bags in the front of the unit to the hallway, sweat dripped down my face and my shirt, heavy with perspire glued to my chest (and I’m not someone who sweats easily).

One last caveat, while I lived in between homes I had no phone service and no car. I proved to myself that we survive without cell phones and taxis are a God-send, especially when I sped off in one escaping from ring-side couch in full view of a marital war that spanned a night with both people shouting, “Projection!” at each other. I’ll always associate that word now with melodrama of the worst kind. Obviously, those two were versed in psychoanalysis and the shadows we project on others.

However, the biggest weight I carried on my sore shoulders revolved around a controversial health condition I acquired at the age of twenty-eight that left me vulnerable to common chemicals most people use every day. This condition makes finding healthy and affordable housing near impossible, especially in a “green” city that doesn’t recognize the personal health effects of chlorine, car exhaust, and household cleaners. The irony doesn’t escape me, but even “green” cities such as Bellingham battled with the two-headed monster called denial and fear.

While Bellingham has received a sustainable makeover in the past two decades, it still hadn’t fully released its industrial roots which continue to pollute the air, water and earth. Some people are forced to live in self-imposed confinement as they recover from MCS [multiple chemical sensitivity, whatever that means]. I recovered from this condition for the most part but, living long-term among certain chemicals still threatened me. So in this regard, finding “a dream home” became a lifelong quest.

During my quest, I experienced meltdowns, shake ups, and hysterical fits of laughter. I gained the ability to step outside of myself and watch my life as if it were a movie playing on a giant screen. Only, I won’t receive any Oscars for Best Bad Performance by a Non-Actress.

Women Sleeping on the Couch (Excerpt from Memoir reflecting on Homelessness)

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This is chapter two of my 2015-16 unpublished memoir about a bout of homelessness in Bellingham, Washington that spanned three months.
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This photo was taken when I still had a home in Bellingham.

A Call to Action

Every heroine experiences that moment where she closes one door and waits for another to open to an adventure. When I gave up my Sehome apartment for the unknown, I knew that significant life challenges awaited me, but at the same time the Universe responded with signposts while giving me courage to face uncertainty. I ventured boldly where I had never gone before, kind of like a Star Trek character, but on an emotional level.


Towards the end of August 2014, after I gave notice to move out of a secure apartment, I volunteered to work at the children’s art station with the Community Food Coop’s annual party in the park. Oddly, one of the activities involved children building homes out of cardboard boxes. While the children and their adult helpers built fabulous architecture out of cardboard, mainly tiny houses and forts, I heard a nagging voice in my head say, “Hmmm, isn’t that symbolic? Watch and learn because you might just end up living in a cardboard box.”

In fact, my repressed fear at that time caused me to dream about walking the streets of Bellingham or even an unknown city as a homeless person. I feared for my safety, but I also feared humiliation of running into people I knew as I dragged around blankets in garbage bags or pushed a grocery cart with my meager belongings through the alleyways.

I recalled a time in Seattle, when I was virtually tossed out on the street, hopping from couch to couch and sleeping on floors. One time, when a boyfriend kicked me out of his apartment so that he could be with his new girlfriend, a purple-haired “goddess,” I slept underneath a kitchen table at an apartment belonging to an acquaintance.

While this was happening a friend who had once lived in a car shook her head at me.

“See, you shouldn’t have sold your car because if you still had your car then you would have somewhere to sleep.”

Needless to say that this friend bought my car so I could finance a trip to England the previous summer. True enough, she had lived in a large 1970s model car after she gave up an adorable apartment in West Seattle near Alki Beach in the late 1980’s. Among my Bohemian and artists friends others had slept in cars too. In fact, it seemed to be a thing Pisces did well. My friend didn’t want to bother her friends by asking for a spare anything and living in the car was only temporary until she moved into an apartment tower near the Paramount Theater.

However, I wasn’t thinking of this friend when I slept on couches and queen size hotel beds in Bellingham the fall of 2014. My thoughts revolved around Law of Attraction and manifesting a new home through effortlessness, even though the other half of me busted her butt looking at houses that I had no intention of ever living inside. At the time, I had a sense that I would attract the right situation at the right time and not through sheer effort, but I had also been taught that nothing comes to us without effort–therein lied the conflict.

I knew from following the Law of Attraction that I had to focus on my bliss and follow my passion. However, the guilt that accompanied me when I set out to look for a bee painting in various businesses around town as part of the Sustainable Connections treasure hunt, or walk through parks with my camera in-tow, or even attended an outdoor salsa concert at the Village Green, caused me to spiral into the abyss. Yet, the housing search seemed fruitless as I phoned one disappointing lead after another.

I actually began my effortless search for a new apartment at the beginning of August thinking that if I practiced Creative Visualization and sent out e-mails to my local contacts, not to mention honk my horn on social media, I would manifest the perfect home for me in the right neighborhood. When a friend mentioned that a housing search would take all my time, energy and focus, I chuckled. What arrogance!

Then later in the month, especially around the time I watched children building homes out of cardboard, I panicked. I dreamed about renting a room in a philanthropist’s home in the South Hill neighborhood and thought I had my solution. Only, I didn’t know any wealthy philanthropists with a room for rent in a South Hill mansion so I contacted my friends and colleagues who also didn’t know anyone that fit that description. So this led to me contacting the philanthropy non-profits only to get directed to the Opportunity Council–not exactly what I had in mind. The signs I hung around town also didn’t attract any philanthropists.

Finally, I hit Craig’s List, even though I said I would avoid this site. I had gone that route before which caused me to dodge one flaky situation after another. The other problem the landlords posting on Craig’s List is that they wanted first, last and a deposit while covering less of the utilities, if at all. I phoned some of the house shares but I’m allergic to cats and not 420-friendly (slang for pot-smokers). Other situations such as the attic room in a house with the only bathroom under renovation just seemed dubious to me.

“We have permission to use the neighbor’s toilet and shower.”

“How long will the renovation on the bathroom take?”

“We don’t know, but we also live in the house and would also experience the inconvenience.”

“How much are you asking for rent?”

Not that I would have considered such a rental, but desperation sunk in.

I experienced one glimmer of hope when I responded to an ad for a room in the “Lotus House” which was a household of yoga instructors and a massage therapist in the Roosevelt Neighborhood (but a better section of the “bad” neighborhood). The home owners asked interested renters to e-mail a short essay about why we thought we would fit into this type of household. I e-mailed three essays and never received an invite to see the house.

Finally, I reached the end of the month with no permanent home in sight. Had I not gleaned the Law of Attraction? Was I entertaining too many negative thoughts? How could I stop my monkey mind from spinning toxic thoughts? Two days before I vacated the apartment and closed the door of 2-D for the final time, I came across a greeting card at the post office with the message, “You’re stronger than you think.” Then I knew that life was about to challenge me on a mammoth level. And it did.

Sure, I could blame my uncomfortable situation on a midlife crisis or my upcoming menopause since I had recently turned fifty. I had heard of strange occurrences surrounding women who surpassed fifty that involved leaps of faith, leaving stable careers or home situations, or taking up skydiving. After three years of paying high rent for the misery, I gave notice to vacate Hades. Only in Bellingham, do slumlords resemble sunny family men and that led to confusion, especially when demanding my rights. How do you ask for more respectful treatment when the landlord is smiling at you?

“Victorian charm” often means “It’s a ghetto with built in cabinets, drawers and rusty turn-of-the-nineteenth-century sinks.”


Some friends applauded my courageous move causing me to think that I had turned into a domestic version of Erin Brockovich. Other friends and my parents thought I had lost my mind. My opinions of myself landed somewhere in the middle, seesawing between extremes. At first, I thought if I e-mailed everyone I knew in Bellingham (and beyond) and hit social media with a request for an eco-friendly apartment or house-share, then by the end of August I would move into my dream home. The average time for finding a decent rental in Bellingham is two to three months, more when housing is at a premium (when the university is in session). Also 55% of the housing market revolved around rentals and owning a house started at $300,000 (in 2014).

In August, each day as I woke up realizing I was nowhere closer to achieving that dream, I panicked which caused me to spiral downward and entertain nightmarish thoughts. Since we attract more of what we focus upon, I kept encountering homeless people on the bus, on the streets, and in my dreams–the stench of poverty lodging in my nose. Then on the final day of my stay in my apartment (after a sleepless night), I phoned a storage rental place, contacted friends to help me move and I booked a room in a hotel. Sleeping in the doorway of the Federal Building didn’t appeal to me.

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And that was AFTER the EPA stepped in.... wanna know how bad it was before then? In the 40's and 50's?

It got so bad in parts of the Ohio River Valley that people just dropped dead from the poor air quality - you should look up the "Donora Smog of 48' "

(Not YOU-you, HER-you, I'm assuming you're already aware of it )
Tfw you move to an industrial area/city and are shocked that it's air quality isn't amazing.

Amarillo for instance smells like cows because there are hundreds of thousands of cows in and around it
 
hoping to take my animal communicator business
Ok, so you make basically no money, and the little money you do make is scamming desperate or retarded pet owners, which is hardly a consistent income stream

But the non-existent rental housing
Translated: Rental housing that can be afforded on an inconsistent scam of a 'job'

I chose Erie, with its Presque Isle State Park and gemlike sunsets.
So instead of picking an area based on its viability for your scam, you instead picked it on feels, expecting the world to bend backwards to figure it out for you.

The agreeable landlords from 10 months earlier had changed their tune. They were no longer willing to rent to me.
No shit, you were broke, probably broke lease in the process, and I doubt you were an ideal tenant either.

Pittsburgh seemed attractive, at least in the photos that peppered social media posts. Yellow bridges spanned three rivers with skyscrapers gracing the background. I was intrigued by the Mexican War Streets, Squirrel Hill, Shadyside and Oakland, home to the iconic Carnegie-Mellon University, where my favorite musical — “Godspell” — was conceived.
Once again, you picked a location based on feels and not based on economic realities.

That was until I rode Pittsburgh Regional Transit’s 61C from Oakland to Homestead and then had to walk more than a mile, mostly uphill, to West Homestead.
Outside of the uphill part, this is pretty normal. Back when I was transit dependent, getting from home to work involved about a mile of hiking. At least doing that twice a day, five days a week kept me in shape.

And prior to anyone telling me about the ConnectCard, I spent $2.75 each time I boarded a bus, even when my routes involved multiple transfers.
You literally couldn't be bothered to even google your city transit website? I guess lying to people about their animals is such a time intensive job that you couldn't find a moment to do so while, I dunno, sitting on the train?

As the months wore on, I found that downtown Pittsburgh is riddled with construction and bus rerouting. The T stations are closed for days and platforms might be closed for weeks for construction projects.
This is genuinely normal. I don't know why transit fetishists think that their preferred system somehow doesn't need maintenance the same way a car does, but that's the reality of any machinery. Then throw on government inefficiency atop it and it'll be 2-3x longer than you expect. They always dismiss this as not a material problem, you take your car to the mechanic anyway, whats the big deal - Right up until they're on the other side and realize that you can actually do things both to prevent your car breaking down, and choose when its out of commission more often than not with good preventative maintenance. When the trains run till the hydraulics start to burst, you just gotta deal with whenever a bureaucrat signs off on the repair job.

I'm noticing a trend here with this woman, we'll get back to it.

After several months of staying at Airbnb rentals owned by real estate investors
Its weird that you went from being two weeks from fucked, to having months worth of overpriced BnB funds in a major city.

While renting from a management company had been on my “absolutely no” list, I succumbed to desperation and the freezing weather of Pittsburgh in January.
At this point, I unironically suspect she's preferring independent renters because they're easier to fleece, scam, guilt and bully. Meanwhile, if she's burned out her coffers again to the point that she'd stoop this low in her eyes, then the entire fucking rant that follows about how shit the place is, is almost assuredly because its a dirt fucking cheap dive. You get what you pay for - You'd think a business owner would understand this better than anyone, but apparently not.

I suffer from Lyme disease, which on a bad day causes numb legs and vertigo. I also have tried to navigate the bus system while struggling with brain fog and chronic fatigue. You’d think any competent doctor would see balance issues and muscle weakness as a disability, but those I’ve seen refuse to sign the application that would give me some state-sponsored mobility assistance.
Why would you need mobility assistance? Public transit is perfect, nobody needs to ride in a car, right? Oh, wait no, you're special.

But the actual reason I pick on this paragraph is because at this stage, I don't think you're fit to be independent, much less running a business. You have a raft of debilitating conditions, a scam 'career' with no actual skill behind it, a complete lack of basic planning, foresight, or introspection into your prior failures, and generally just a complete inability to perceive the world for what it is, rather than what you demand it be.

You are a fraud larping as an adult, and you're bitching and moaning that nobody else will play along. You're not a character in Sex in the City, you're not running a sitcom life, if you want things in life you need to compensate the people doing the work. If you need the ability to compensate people for them, you need to develop skills that are actually worthwhile, that people need in their lives. This trade is mutual, unlike your fleecing of the system.

People like this need to grow up, because the worlds running short of capacity to sustain their bullshit. Your life is going to grow worse unless you work to make it grow better, because you're all dragging the social safety nets down with you.
 
Pittsburgh (and Alleghany County in general) is a nightmare to get around with a car, let alone without. The road system is "anywhere George Washington and his cow went," and the roads follow the terrain, which is a bunch of twisty valleys.
 
(Not YOU-you, HER-you, I'm assuming you're already aware of it )
Yep, sure am! I actually have family in the area, and even though I grew up a couple of hours south in the real mountains in WV, I visited the Pittsburgh area quite a bit when I was a kid and I remember hearing stories from older relatives about how bad it used to be when there was no EPA. In fact, for those who don't know, here are some helpful visual aids:


Even Beijing today is cleaner than Pittsburgh used to be...
You literally couldn't be bothered to even google your city transit website? I guess lying to people about their animals is such a time intensive job that you couldn't find a moment to do so while, I dunno, sitting on the train?
I have literally, I shit you not, managed to move to various countries where I didn't even speak the local language with more foresight and preparation than this dumb bitch did with a city that's 2 hours away down I-79.

You were right when you said that she's a fraud larping as an adult. Perfect description. OK, re-edit... Yes, she's almost 60. That beggars belief that someone who's almost at retirement age could be this naive and stupid.

"Wahhh! It's everybody's fault but mine!" I do get the feeling that she would make an excellent lolcow though.
 
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Pittsburgh (and Alleghany County in general) is a nightmare to get around with a car, let alone without. The road system is "anywhere George Washington and his cow went," and the roads follow the terrain, which is a bunch of twisty valleys.
That's why "You can't get there from here," is a legitimate colloquialism. Sometimes you cannot get back where you came from the same way you got there.
 
Pittsburgh (and Alleghany County in general) is a nightmare to get around with a car, let alone without. The road system is "anywhere George Washington and his cow went," and the roads follow the terrain, which is a bunch of twisty valleys.
As someone who knows the Pittsburgh area like the back of my hand, if it's not a route I've taken already I'm guaranteed to get lost without a navigator

Here are some other tidbits of wisdom:
  1. It's impossible to drive in a straight line in Pittsburgh without turning left at some point; if you aren't turning left between A and B, you will probably end up at A again
  2. The Pittsburgh Left (where you sprint left as soon as the light turns green) exists because of 1. and because if you don't, you will probably get stuck at that light forever
  3. Route 28 and Baum Boulevard are Pittsburgh's Autobahns - if you aren't going 25 over the limit you're a rolling road hazard
  4. It takes at least 15 minutes to get anywhere by car in Pittsburgh; going to Monroeville? At least 15 minutes driving. Going across the street? At least 15 minutes.
  5. If you have to commute across a bridge or a tunnel, you're not going to last in your current job
  6. Driving from west to east in the South Hills takes for-fucking-ever since it's almost nothing but surface streets
  7. Thankfully the T (light rail) covers most of the South Hills. Also, the South Hills includes Mt. Lebanon, where Ms. Cat Whisperer lives.
Here's another factoid: this woman is an entitled bitch and a useless waste of skin.
 
As someone who knows the Pittsburgh area like the back of my hand, if it's not a route I've taken already I'm guaranteed to get lost without a navigator
I was North Hills, rather than South, but yeah, without a map and directions (and a compass to be on the safe side) there is no way to try and navigate yourself because, unless you are actually alongside the rivers, all you can see on each side of you are steep forested hills or carved-out rock faces, and you can only see in front of you until the next turn in the road. There are no general points of references to get your bearings; even if you could get to the top of the ridgeline you couldn't see past the trees on the next ridgeline, because every ridge is the exact same height. One of the things that really hit me when I moved away was just how much more sky is visible when you aren't in a narrow valley 100% of the time.
 
One of the things that really hit me when I moved away was just how much more sky is visible when you aren't in a narrow valley 100% of the time.
Conversely, if you grew up in a narrow valley (or holler, as we call them), it feels unnatural and disturbing to be able to see from horizon to horizon.
 
Pittsburgh (and Alleghany County in general) is a nightmare to get around with a car, let alone without. The road system is "anywhere George Washington and his cow went," and the roads follow the terrain, which is a bunch of twisty valleys.
For those who've never been to the Commonwealth, it doesn't get better going east until you've almost reached Lancaster.

At that point? You're still following General Washington's cow paths, but, at least they're close enough to the coast that the rivers run a bit straighter and the hills are less severe.....

Remind me again why I agreed to plow those roads every winter?

Conversely, if you grew up in a narrow valley (or holler, as we call them), it feels unnatural and disturbing to be able to see from horizon to horizon.
I find the Ohio Turnpike very disturbing......... how can you drive for 4 hours and never go up or down?!?!?!?!?!?

All you do is hold the wheel straight and your only hint you're actually moving is the occasional sign going past with the distance to some fixed point slowly counting down.

Toledo 120

Toledo 75

Toledo 40

IT AIN'T NATURAL!!!!!!
 
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