📚 Megathread Phil's Profile Pictures - and other pictures

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
We told him to cover his derp eyes and here he does. He is like the ole Subservient Chicken.
 
Every time Phil posts one of these "Look at me being all edgy in my apartment" pictures, I can't help but envision the larger scene at play here. Like how does it actually play out if you were watching a hidden camera mounted on the wall somewhere and could see the preceding hours before the post.

I imagine Phil sitting in his apartment bored... you know, that kind of empty boredom scene where there's no TV, audio or anything. Just him sitting on the couch for a while pondering things, trying to connect the dots between his current situation and how it's not his fault. Then what? He randomly decides to strap on all his LARP gear before sitting back down on the couch still bored but now covered head to toe in ANTIFA marketing merch?

Does he twiddle his thumbs for a bit then? Looking around at the iconography plastered all over his walls and lit by $1.99 wal-mart xmas lights? Does he practice his mace can quick draw technique, standing in the center of his quiet living room where the only sound is his labored breathing and occasional Velcro scratch as he opens and closes random pouches on his utility belt?

Does his daughter bike still shimmer in the corner as he does this, also covered in $1.99 walmart X-mas lights and shining like a beacon of autism that simultaneously draws his attention and yet repulses him because it's a constant reminder of yet another abandoned lie? Has he managed to come up with a reason why Kiwi Farms is responsible for him never riding it outside? Or has Phil moved on enough to abandon the wasted e-begging money pit and simply chucked it on the balcony along with the hipster touring saddle bags he so desperately needed? When was the last time he oiled his daughter bike's chain?

After getting dressed in his ANTIFA merch, does he wander around his living room for a bit looking at the collection of items he cherishes? Does he stop at the ad-hoc wiccan alter he made and remember how being "evil trans" was his saving identity? Is that where all those necklaces and eyebrow pencils now live? Maybe he picks one of those sharpies up and briefly considers drawing those culturally appropriated eyebrows on again he used to love. ... or has that alter been torn down and cast aside too?

Does he stop at his Australatina map and lose himself in his imaginary world? Gently swaying back and forth dressed head to toe in black ninja clothes as he imagines roving pedal bike gangs of burly lesbian women battling it out like some woke, environmentally friendly version of "Mad Max"? How long does he stand there building his little fantasy? 5 mins? 30 mins?

At what point does he pick up his phone and decide to share his dress up?
 
Graffiti canvas said:
Every time Phil posts one of these "Look at me being all edgy in my apartment" pictures, I can't help but envision the larger scene at play here. Like how does it actually play out if you were watching a hidden camera mounted on the wall somewhere and could see the preceding hours before the post.

I imagine Phil sitting in his apartment bored... you know, that kind of empty boredom scene where there's no TV, audio or anything. Just him sitting on the couch for a while pondering things, trying to connect the dots between his current situation and how it's not his fault. Then what? He randomly decides to strap on all his LARP gear before sitting back down on the couch still bored but now covered head to toe in ANTIFA marketing merch?

Does he twiddle his thumbs for a bit then? Looking around at the iconography plastered all over his walls and lit by $1.99 wal-mart xmas lights? Does he practice his mace can quick draw technique, standing in the center of his quiet living room where the only sound is his labored breathing and occasional Velcro scratch as he opens and closes random pouches on his utility belt?

Does his daughter bike still shimmer in the corner as he does this, also covered in $1.99 walmart X-mas lights and shining like a beacon of autism that simultaneously draws his attention and yet repulses him because it's a constant reminder of yet another abandoned lie? Has he managed to come up with a reason why Kiwi Farms is responsible for him never riding it outside? Or has Phil moved on enough to abandon the wasted e-begging money pit and simply chucked it on the balcony along with the hipster touring saddle bags he so desperately needed? When was the last time he oiled his daughter bike's chain?

After getting dressed in his ANTIFA merch, does he wander around his living room for a bit looking at the collection of items he cherishes? Does he stop at the ad-hoc wiccan alter he made and remember how being "evil trans" was his saving identity? Is that where all those necklaces and eyebrow pencils now live? Maybe he picks one of those sharpies up and briefly considers drawing those culturally appropriated eyebrows on again he used to love. ... or has that alter been torn down and cast aside too?

Does he stop at his Australatina map and lose himself in his imaginary world? Gently swaying back and forth dressed head to toe in black ninja clothes as he imagines roving pedal bike gangs of burly lesbian women battling it out like some woke, environmentally friendly version of "Mad Max"? How long does he stand there building his little fantasy? 5 mins? 30 mins?

At what point does he pick up his phone and decide to share his dress up?
Click to expand...

You ask the questions that none of us have wanted to consider.

We all imagine what phil looks/sounds like in his brief flashes of public autism weather in a video or just a post, but never really what the rest of his day consists of, other then again brief flashes of him gobbling cheese or dodging empty bottles thrown at him by the vodka ogre squatting in his bedroom.

I now must ponder. (:_( Damn you.
 
I can't be arsed to check whether we had this pic before, but this is his current Twitter av.
gNZzR_PC_400x400.jpg
 
Look at the way that material shines. That’s the cheapest of cheap shit.

A real super soldier would know that you can get a proper military balaclava for a couple of bucks online from any military surplus retailer. There you go, Phil, never say we don’t do anything for you.
 
Last edited:
Phil’s tardbux stretch further if he limits himself to Alibaba-tier equipment. It’s not a completely irrational strategy, if one that for sure provides us with an infinite stream of mockery fuel.

Of course, so does his face, and there’s nothing he can do about that other than what he’s been doing. I’m glad he’s decided to comport himself properly as a modest Muslim woman. It limits the amount of distress the unphiltered view of his face causes to children, the elderly, slows-in-da-head, etc.

Oh, Phil, here's a tip for you: no actual streetfighting St Pauli fan antifa on earth wears as many antifa pins, badges, bandannas, patches, and so on as you do. If you want to pass as the real thing you may wish to tone it down a notch.

ETA: Phil won't know what "St Pauli" means until he sees that sentence and Googles it. You're welcome Phil.
 
Last edited:
Graffiti canvas said:
Every time Phil posts one of these "Look at me being all edgy in my apartment" pictures, I can't help but envision the larger scene at play here. Like how does it actually play out if you were watching a hidden camera mounted on the wall somewhere and could see the preceding hours before the post.

I imagine Phil sitting in his apartment bored... you know, that kind of empty boredom scene where there's no TV, audio or anything. Just him sitting on the couch for a while pondering things, trying to connect the dots between his current situation and how it's not his fault. Then what? He randomly decides to strap on all his LARP gear before sitting back down on the couch still bored but now covered head to toe in ANTIFA marketing merch?

Does he twiddle his thumbs for a bit then? Looking around at the iconography plastered all over his walls and lit by $1.99 wal-mart xmas lights? Does he practice his mace can quick draw technique, standing in the center of his quiet living room where the only sound is his labored breathing and occasional Velcro scratch as he opens and closes random pouches on his utility belt?

Does his daughter bike still shimmer in the corner as he does this, also covered in $1.99 walmart X-mas lights and shining like a beacon of autism that simultaneously draws his attention and yet repulses him because it's a constant reminder of yet another abandoned lie? Has he managed to come up with a reason why Kiwi Farms is responsible for him never riding it outside? Or has Phil moved on enough to abandon the wasted e-begging money pit and simply chucked it on the balcony along with the hipster touring saddle bags he so desperately needed? When was the last time he oiled his daughter bike's chain?

After getting dressed in his ANTIFA merch, does he wander around his living room for a bit looking at the collection of items he cherishes? Does he stop at the ad-hoc wiccan alter he made and remember how being "evil trans" was his saving identity? Is that where all those necklaces and eyebrow pencils now live? Maybe he picks one of those sharpies up and briefly considers drawing those culturally appropriated eyebrows on again he used to love. ... or has that alter been torn down and cast aside too?

Does he stop at his Australatina map and lose himself in his imaginary world? Gently swaying back and forth dressed head to toe in black ninja clothes as he imagines roving pedal bike gangs of burly lesbian women battling it out like some woke, environmentally friendly version of "Mad Max"? How long does he stand there building his little fantasy? 5 mins? 30 mins?

At what point does he pick up his phone and decide to share his dress up?
Click to expand...

I think it's more that he obsessively goes through our threads about him, reading our posts picking apart his lies and bullshit, sees us mocking and laughing at him despite his best efforts to threaten and intimidate us, spends the next hour or so bouncing and squeaking to soothe himself, then dresses up in his edgiest Antifa Soupah Soaker garb and least-dull mall ninja knives in yet another failed attempt to intimidate us and impress his Senpais.
 
Dentontx said:
Phil’s tardbux stretch further if he limits himself to Alibaba-tier equipment. It’s not a completely irrational strategy, if one that for sure provides us with an infinite stream of mockery fuel.

Of course, so does his face, and there’s nothing he can do about that other than what he’s been doing. I’m glad he’s decided to comport himself properly as a modest Muslim woman. It limits the amount of distress the unphiltered view of his face causes to children, the elderly, slows-in-da-head, etc.

Oh, Phil, here's a tip for you: no actual streetfighting St Pauli fan antifa on earth wears as many antifa pins, badges, bandannas, patches, and so on as you do. If you want to pass as the real thing you may wish to tone it down a notch.

ETA: Phil won't know what "St Pauli" means until he sees that sentence and Googles it. You're welcome Phil.
Click to expand...
Oh god, don't encourage him, it's too easy! Next step he'll claim he's running the Portland arm of the St pauli fanclub and will be announcing how many amazing comrades over there want him to go stay with them and lead them to revolution. As if.

The only sport sperging Phil's done is around rollerskating. Are we gonna get a new obsession? You'd hope he'd know when he was hopelessly out of his depth, but it hasn't stopped him before...
 
Sparklepants said:
Bobby had friends, a girlfriend and actual hobbies he pursued. Phil has none of those.
Click to expand...

Bobby was also a sweet kid, thoughtful, and loved his parents. He wasn't a self-centered gender special asshole who would beat his mother and make lies about his father raping him.
 
DzgSCFhUYAEsmco.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DzgSCFhUYAEsmco.jpg:large
On his twitter feed. Phil with what appears to be an M16 pattern airsoft rifle.
  • It appears to be fake M16 pattern Airsoft Rifle. Its hard to tell because of the low image quality, but it it missing a forward pivot pin, the receiver is cut for the dustcover hinge. Most aren't. It looks cheap overall, as does sling. Forward swivel appears to be QD, which would be weird to put on that type of a hand guard. There's some weird marking around the selector switch, which appears to have one setting.
Good luck with that civil war Phil.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom