📚 Megathread Phil's Crowdfunding Adventures - Smokes weed every day, claims bipolar disorder

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There are so many little implausible lies in that overall lie it's actually sort of impressive.
 
Flame the Sunbird said:
"AN EMERGENCY - MEDICAL NESSCISITY"!

Tubby waddled too fast and lost his glasses. Please give or he won't be able to safely ride (his stationary bike in his own house).
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Translation from Potato:

I tarded out and someone had enough of my bullshit and was about to kick my ass, so I desperately waddled away and lost my glasses and was in such a panic to escape that I didn't even just bend over to pick them up.

Ruin said:
There are so many little implausible lies in that overall lie it's actually sort of impressive.
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I wouldn't be at all surprised if Phil routinely acts obnoxiously in public, because he has been emboldened by the usual behavior, probably even more common in Portland, where people are afraid to get involved with anything involving an obviously mentally ill homeless looking crazy guy.

Eventually he'll pull this on a Hell's Angel or some vato loco, but until then, he thinks he's the cock of the walk.
 
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I personally am willing to pay for a brand new pair of designer glasses of Phil's choice, along with a spare pair. One catch: as he needs them for cycling, he'll have to demonstrate that he can cycle.
 
I enjoy how he always over-explains this kind of stuff (which is a classic sign of lying by someone who isn't good at it). "I lost my glasses and can't see without them" would suffice, but he has to invent this dumb poor-me story about harassment and PTSD, like somehow just losing your glasses in a benign way because shit happens isn't plausible.
 
money bunny said:
I enjoy how he always over-explains this kind of stuff (which is a classic sign of lying by someone who isn't good at it). "I lost my glasses and can't see without them" would suffice, but he has to invent this dumb poor-me story about harassment and PTSD, like somehow just losing your glasses in a benign way because shit happens isn't plausible.
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A sign of lieing is over explaining to try to justify the lie
 
nhocgreen said:
This is like the 3rd or 4th pair he's begged for.
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I wonder if this time he'll be smart enough not to post photos of himself wearing glasses while he begs.
money bunny said:
I enjoy how he always over-explains this kind of stuff (which is a classic sign of lying by someone who isn't good at it). "I lost my glasses and can't see without them" would suffice, but he has to invent this dumb poor-me story about harassment and PTSD, like somehow just losing your glasses in a benign way because shit happens isn't plausible.
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I think it's because Phil can't not be an edgelord. He is Izzy Hell, sexy Latinx Smasher of Patriarchy and Defender of Forests. Izzy doesn't do anything so mundane as "lose her glasses." Every time Izzy goes out, she is beset by hoards of cis men who want nothing more than to fuck her and kill her. Maybe there's collateral damage - a lens gets shot out of her glasses, only for the bullet to be deflected off her powerful eyelashes.

In reality, the fat fuck probably just sat on them.
 
Amazing how he can waffle back and forth between being a tranny warrior, unafraid to assault random people, take their phone and destroy their property when he gets the slightest inclination that someone might be taking pictures of him in public...

...to squealing like a pig and waddling away overcome with PTSD and fear when someone says something mean to him.

You'd think someone who's repeatedly proclaimed they've served Trans-Latinx-Troon justice to random people with physical violence they initiate wouldn't be concerned with a minor verbal confrontation.

The speed with which he goes from street walking bad ass to street running shits-in-pants is amazing.
 
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AnOminous said:
I wouldn't be at all surprised if Phil routinely acts obnoxiously in public, because he has been emboldened by the usual behavior, probably even more common in Portland, where people are afraid to get involved with anything involving an obviously mentally ill homeless looking crazy guy.

Eventually he'll pull this on a Hell's Angel or some vato loco, but until then, he thinks he's the cock of the walk.
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I don't think he's going to get beat up by an obvious thug or gang member. He's way too much of a coward to even walk near where those guys hang out. Instead my money's on him trying to push around some average looking dude who doesn't care if he decks a smelly homeless looking guy.
 
nad7155 said:
He still has a pair.

He just lies about it.
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He has untinted safety glasses, really all you need in a cloudy place unless you are regularly going over 30mph. He wants cycling glasses because of what they're called, despite being the wrong tool for his needs. Typical Phil, really. They suck to wear when it's warm out and you aren't continually moving at a decent pace. They're not normal glasses.
 
Zim said:
I don't think he's going to get beat up by an obvious thug or gang member. He's way too much of a coward to even walk near where those guys hang out. Instead my money's on him trying to push around some average looking dude who doesn't care if he decks a smelly homeless looking guy.
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This is spot on. The last guy who beat him up was a scrawny goateed hipster who probably weighed 110 pounds soaking white.
 
Ruin said:
This is spot on. The last guy who beat him up was a scrawny goateed hipster who probably weighed 110 pounds soaking white.
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I think he has slowly learned some caution. Not how not to act like a completely insufferable spastic everyone wants to punch, but when to waddle away when he's gotten on some guy's last nerve and is about to get his ass kicked.
 
AnOminous said:
I think he has slowly learned some caution. Not how not to act like a completely insufferable spastic everyone wants to punch, but when to waddle away when he's gotten on some guy's last nerve and is about to get his ass kicked.
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I've noticed this with a few lolcows. They may be insufferable and offensive in every way, but somehow they've evolved survival instincts that prevent them from getting the ass-kicking that normally results from such behaviour. Either they have enough instincts to escape when they've gone too far or they just make themselves appear so pathetic that people are ashamed to do anything. Yet none of them can show the initiative required not to be annoying in the first place.
 
Ten more dollas! (For the glasses he doesn't need for the bike he can't ride to the places he doesn't need to go)

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AnOminous said:
I think he has slowly learned some caution. Not how not to act like a completely insufferable spastic everyone wants to punch, but when to waddle away when he's gotten on some guy's last nerve and is about to get his ass kicked.
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He has, but his ego is going to override that one day.
 
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