Its hereditary, some couples are just not compatible on bio level and some men and women get pregnant by simply existing next to someone else of the opposite sex. Sex ed focuses on those who can get pregnant easily because they want to prevent unwanted pregnacies in teens who in turn have worst outcomes for kids and mother's, by the time you are ready and you have issues you can always find a doctor to help you.
Tangent: I saw some medical mystery show when I was young where the wife was allergic to her husband's semen, her immune system just couldn't handle whatever was in there! Eventually they tried IVF and the sperm just could not successfully fertilize her eggs. Interesting case of a biological prezygotic barrier in action. Sad for that couple though. I think they ended up divorcing since they both seemed to be the type who were really into having a family.
That's so cute, haha.
I think it needs to be emphasized how much miscarriages SUUUUUUUUCK, especially when you're actually trying to have a kid. We were so close to announcing our second when she started bleeding and that was the beginning of the end... Then the contractions started as her body began to eject a life we never got to meet.
Changing diapers, when the time comes, is easily the part of parenting that you dread the most before it happens, and after it happens you don’t even think about it. Baby poop doesn’t even smell that bad until they start on solid food, and by that time you’re already steeled against it. The only time diapers are a hardship are when you’re out doing something and have to do a full blowout change, and even then as long as you’re prepared enough it’s not that big of a deal.
So far, my wife’s first feeling has been wrong every time, and I always have a dream that predicts it correctly. Sample size of two, but still weird it happened twice.
This happened with our youngest. She was born with a full head of black hair that fell out after a month and was replaced with the exact strawberry blonde my grandmother had.
I feel that, growing up I and the other kids in the neighborhood had sort of almost mythological like view of fathers. They were these big imposing figures who knew everything and were always in charge of the situation. The idea that I will in just a few short months be in that position is certainly a daunting one.
Every parent fears that their kid will become the same fuck up as them. Don't let it a hyper fixation of the relationship. They don't need to grow to be afraid only of what they could be. Even if their birth is your single accomplishment to your name, take pride. Be whatever you will as long as fatherhood is at the forefront. You never know, they might not mind a schizo farmer for a father who loves them dearly.
What do you think you could have used more or less of as a child trying to grow up in this world? Give your child that. It was really hard for my mom, coming from her dysfunctional family, but this is how she thought of things when she raised me.
Tbh, it doesn't take long to click into the dad mindset. I think my view on the world has changed from just looking at people as just retards to looking at them as the product of a failed or successful father. If you are absent, let your wife be retarded in raising them, or be too strict to the point of 180° rebellion, your kid winds up shoving things in their ass on the Internet. You'll find the balance that works for your kid as long as you stay around, pay attention to their needs, act quickly and proportionately with discipline, and most of importantly love them like nothing else. Honestly, when your kid gets here, most all of that just comes naturally. You'll be alright, man, just be aware of how you carry yourself, both with your child and when you're away from them.
It is recommended that the baby sleeps in the same room as at least one parent for the first 6 months of life to minimise the risk of SIDS. Babies are entirely dependent, so there's no need to worry about them "developing some kind of dependency", the dependency is there from birth.
We just did bassinet for the first 4 months, then crib in the nursery with a night vision monitor to let us know if kiddo is crying or rolling over. Ended up being perfectly fine. We really needed what sleep we could get and the bassinet we had was really scratchy. Every single move the baby made was SHHHH SHHH SHHHHH SHHH SHHH. Lack of sleep really didn't do well for the horrible post-partum that the wife was already suffering with and I think the crib was more comfy for the baby. Win-win.
My oldest is very similar, and seeing that transfer over to caring about the new baby is the most heartwarming shit ever. I heard a lot of horror stories about sibling rivalry but she’s been nothing but sweet.
The 9 year old is actually old enough to help out a bit. Little stuff like "grab a diaper and wipes for me" or "can you fill this bottle up with milk?"
One piece of advice: DO NOT ARGUE with your wife about who should change which diaper. Resentment will build up so quickly and bleed into every other part of your lives. Just fucking change the diaper. Same with overnight wake ups. If you wake up, just handle the baby no matter how much you want to cry and go back to sleep.
Depends on the age and the individual child, as well as how long they'll be home alone. I would say about 10 is the hard minimum, and that would be only to go check the mail or a convenience store for 10-20 minutes. By 12 they can usually be left home for a couple of hours and 13+ can start to babysit their siblings.
Literally every parent i've ever talked to has echoed that same feeling. I felt that way especially during the diaper phase. It is terrifying to realize that someone depends on you entirely for life and you don't have a choice but to be successful. This is also on some level what it feels like to be in any leadership position. It's very normal and you will get used to it.
Not that you should TRY to get your kids sick, but they are going to be exposed to those things anyway when they go to school. It's better for them to get sick early and develop antibodies so they don't get hit all at once when they start school.