Parenting Megathread - For Those Who Managed to Reproduce

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If you had a happy childhood and you trust your parents, don’t micromanage your kids’ relationships with them.

Friendships and play dates are important. If you’re a super introvert with no friends, your kids will suffer. Socialization is very important, as is being exposed to the way other families and households operate. Find like-minded parents to form a community that can maximize old-fashioned freedoms, like letting kids work out conflicts and roam outdoors.

90% of “bad behavior” is the parents’ fault. If your kid starts acting up and having emotional outbursts beyond baseline tiredness/hunger/age appropriate boundary pushing - fix your attitude first. If mom or dad is sulky, impatient, shouty, eye-rolly, mean - then that’s the kid you get.

Beyond this, you really have no control over a child’s basic personality traits, tastes and preferences. You have to parent for the kid you have, not the kid you want. You can play all the “cool” music and movies and buy all the “cool” clothes, but your kid may still gravitate toward Kidz Bop and pink frills or whatever.

If you are healthy, sober, and not a hambeast, you can relax sleep restrictions.
 
Derrick said:
Thanks for the heads up, honestly I'm old, like really old to have a baby (39) so, on top of concerns I may not have the stamina to keep up with the physical demands of raising a child in another decade, I realize things have changed a lot since I was a kid. I've seen a bit of it with my sister's kids but it just seems like theres a lot to keep up with these days.
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I understand that concern, so my advice there is to take care of yourself. You'll be able to keep up just fine as long as you're healthy and you treat yourself well.

Also, make friends with people who have kids. If you feel you can't keep up on some days, then that's what playdates are for, haha.

Coffee is pretty awesome too. Just putting that out there.
 
Derrick said:
Thanks for the heads up, honestly I'm old, like really old to have a baby (39) so, on top of concerns I may not have the stamina to keep up with the physical demands of raising a child in another decade, I realize things have changed a lot since I was a kid. I've seen a bit of it with my sister's kids but it just seems like theres a lot to keep up with these days.
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Guys in their 40s like to act like they're at an advanced and frail age, because they refuse to exercise. 39 isn't old for a father. You won't even by 60 by the time the kid is out of the house. You'll have plenty of stamina if you add some jogging and pick up some heavy objects now and then. Generally speaking of course, maybe you have a health problem above and beyond being 39.


Or maybe you're a lady, in which case, yeah, getting pregnant for the first time as you're getting ready for menopause is sure to be rough. It's doable, and don't let the spergs on this forum who don't understand how statistics work tell you that the kid's guaranteed to be retarded. But yeah, recovering from birth is also bound to be tougher than otherwise.

Man I'm glad I'm not a woman.
 
Teach your child to sign and they'll be talking to you a few months before they can actually speak. Taught my son how to sign as an autistic experiment and he was able to communicate his needs clearly at 8/9 months. Seeing a baby make up new words to describe the world around him is mind-blowing, my kid saw a plane and signed the words for "car" and "bird".
 
If they ever eat anything they shouldn't, like something they can pass but not digest, make sure to keep it after they shit it out (washing recommended).

Keep it until they start dating and then put it in their date's hand without saying what it is when said date comes over.

Also get a bulk buy store (Costco, Sam's, BJ's) membership if you don't already have one. I can only speak for Sam's Club to say that their boxes of diapers are actually decent quality for nearly half the price of Pampers. Huggies suck. Luvs are for blacks.
 
The_Red_Man said:
Also get a bulk buy store (Costco, Sam's, BJ's) membership if you don't already have one. I can only speak for Sam's Club to say that their boxes of diapers are actually decent quality for nearly half the price of Pampers. Huggies suck. Luvs are for blacks.
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I think that every baby is different in what kind of diapers work for them, oddly enough.

Huggies have worked amazingly for my son. He would leak in Pampers all of the time. Costco makes their own Kirkland diaper brand, but I hated using them. They were so floppy and wouldn't stay in place while I was trying to change my very wiggly and squirmy baby, but so many people swore by them to me, so ... What do I know? Haha.

At the end of the day, I discovered that other people's diaper recommendations mean nothing, lol. So my recommendation to new parents is trial and error.
 
StarkRavingMad said:
I think that every baby is different in what kind of diapers work for them, oddly enough.

Huggies have worked amazingly for my son. He would leak in Pampers all of the time. Costco makes their own Kirkland diaper brand, but I hated using them. They were so floppy and wouldn't stay in place while I was trying to change my very wiggly and squirmy baby, but so many people swore by them to me, so ... What do I know? Haha.

At the end of the day, I discovered that other people's diaper recommendations mean nothing, lol. So my recommendation to new parents is trial and error.
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True, I suppose. Our family friend said that Huggies was best for their daughter. Our issue was that they curled up on themselves when changing and basically made a nightmare changing situation when they were filled with shit.
 
The_Red_Man said:
True, I suppose. Our family friend said that Huggies was best for their daughter. Our issue was that they curled up on themselves when changing and basically made a nightmare changing situation when they were filled with shit.
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That was a little bit of a problem for when my baby was really little, but I've found that the bigger sizes don't have that issue.

The Costco diapers I mentioned are definitely guilty of what you just described though. God, those were the worst. lol.
 
My kid said his first words last week "Dada" and the preceded to say it about a million more times!

Ive started to watch MATI with headphones on the last few months though, since Jersh is so fond of saying faggot I am deathly afraid of my son picking up naughty language. Trying to tone my self down as well, its a bit hard since I have a sailor mouth but I really dont want to awkwardly explain why my 6 month old is saying fuck.

Going to quote myself from the EDC thread. Any parents got any advice on this? Specifically the baby portion, I essentially want a spare diaper bag in a box. How safe would that shelf stable pre mixed formula be to keep in a car in the summer?

Going to necro this thread for some VEDC

Recently I purchased a 2024 Outback. I am currently outfitting the car for my road tripping and daily dad needs so could use some advice on if I am missing anything. For storage I bought a behind the seat mountable organizer to quickly stuff baby things in. In the trunk area I have purchased 3 Plano Sportsman Trunk 56 Quart bins and will organize them based on the list below.

Baby box
-Diapers
-Bibs
-Wipes
-Spare bottle with attachments
-blankets
-Spare baby clothes
-Sunscreen
-Baby lotion
-Changing pad
-Disposable diaper bags

Car Box
-Utility Knife
-Gloves
-Tape Measure
-Jump Start Battery
-Air compresser
-Bungee cords
-Cleaners like Fabric guard
-Fix a tire
-Screwdriver
-Tarp
-Emergency radio

My Box
-Spare clothes
-Various electronics cords
-granola bars
-Boots
-First aid kit
-Febreeze
-Umbrella
-Towel

And stuff not in boxes
-Flashlight
-Paper towels
-Baby toys
-Small recovery shovel
-Foldable camping chairs
-Car emergency kit like flares, reflective triangles, tools to change tire with.

Call me autistic or consoomer, but is there anything thats missing here for most road tripping or out on the town errands with baby? We goto the park a lot and walk around, and I am not looking to make a bug out bag, just useful things that I may need from time to time. I did order a molle panel to attach to the rear seat to mount stuff like the shovel to but I am not sure how necessary that really is.
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As a heads up, you will kose sleep the first year and a half. Sleep when you can. Newborns arent super interactive, that stage comes in when they are toddlers. Don't get frustrated that you are losing sleep or that a 6 month old isn't playing like you thought it'd be like.

Play is important since thats how they learn the quickest. Especially body motor functions.

Make sure they try alot of different kinds of food as an infant, itll help from them being picky as toddlers (somewhat, all toddlers are picky eaters cause their taste isnt developed)

Children get hurt alot, make sure your home is child safe and if they are anywhere that isn't, dont let your eyes off them.

Changing diapers every 2 hrs as an infant, as toddlers they go to the restroom less, but this is a pain when ur out doing groceries and the child drops a deuce.

Lastly even if you are doing pure breast feeding, have some baby formula in case the mother gets sick/has a hard time producing. If you do try full breastfeeding, milk often and get bags to freeze the milk as backups. Costco has the cheapest baby formula kirkland brand at half the price of others, and that shit hasnt been cheap since covid. Also costco has cheap decent baby clothes.

Advice is out of order but its as shit popped in head. Though how its gonna be doesn't always depend on the child but also the parents. If mom is stressed out, no milk which then you may have to get formula. Its hard to say how it'll play out so roll with the punches.
 
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PermaLurker69 said:
As a heads up, you will kose sleep the first year and a half. Sleep when you can. Newborns arent super interactive, that stage comes in when they are toddlers. Don't get frustrated that you are losing sleep or that a 6 month old isn't playing like you thought it'd be like.

Play is important since thats how they learn the quickest. Especially body motor functions.

Make sure they try alot of different kinds of food as an infant, itll help from them being picky as toddlers (somewhat, all toddlers are picky eaters cause their taste isnt developed)

Children get hurt alot, make sure your home is child safe and if they are anywhere that isn't, dont let your eyes off them.

Changing diapers every 2 hrs as an infant, as toddlers they go to the restroom less, but this is a pain when ur out doing groceries and the child drops a deuce.

Lastly even if you are doing pure breast feeding, have some baby formula in case the mother gets sick/has a hard time producing. If you do try full breastfeeding, milk often and get bags to freeze the milk as backups. Costco has the cheapest baby formula kirkland brand at half the price of others, and that shit hasnt been cheap since covid. Also costco has cheap decent baby clothes.

Advice is out of order but its as shit popped in head. Though how its gonna be doesn't always depend on the child but also the parents. If mom is stressed out, no milk which then you may have to get formula. Its hard to say how it'll play out so roll with the punches.
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Great post with great advice.

In regards to buying cheaper things, I'll add that you should buy a ton of stuff secondhand if you can (except for carseats-- if a carseat has been in any accident, it's no longer at optimal capacity to protect your baby). Baby stuff is expensive, so make things like Facebook marketplace your friend, and look up local cosignments.
 
The_Red_Man said:
True, I suppose. Our family friend said that Huggies was best for their daughter. Our issue was that they curled up on themselves when changing and basically made a nightmare changing situation when they were filled with shit.
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This is what sort of horrifies me, I've never changed a diaper before and am sort of dreading the stench and sight of what I'll have to do when the time comes.
 
Derrick said:
This is what sort of horrifies me, I've never changed a diaper before and am sort of dreading the stench and sight of what I'll have to do when the time comes.
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You'll become desensitized after the first few days. lol.

On day 2 or 3 of my son being home, he projectile shat across the room and also hit my hand (yes, that's a thing that can happen with newborns lol). I yelped like it was a jump scare, and then I couldn't help but to laugh my ass off. After that moment, changing diapers was a piece of cake, haha. It was my "baptism by fire" moment.

Also, no matter what you do, you will deal with blowout diapers every so often during infancy. It's just a fact of life.

For me, personally, not that I ever thought baby poop smelled great, but toddler poops definitely smell worse. Toddler poops are easier to clean up since they're eating solid foods at that point, but they also stink a lot more.
 
Derrick said:
This is what sort of horrifies me, I've never changed a diaper before and am sort of dreading the stench and sight of what I'll have to do when the time comes.
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Dude dont worry. The hospital will make sure you are prepared before you leave. I hadnt held a baby in 20 years before my first and came out of the hospital with it all feeling natural. Dont be afraid to ask questions to the nurses when they come in, they are there to help.
 
I love being a dad. Kids are assholes sometimes but 90% of the time they're cool as hell and are going to be as good as you are to them.
 
Derrick said:
This is what sort of horrifies me, I've never changed a diaper before and am sort of dreading the stench and sight of what I'll have to do when the time comes.
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1) Don't be a pussy.
2) It's easier when it's your own child.

Your kid won't be able to do it themselves for a while, so it's either you do it, or they sit in it till it explodes out their diaper.ok, that will happen no matter what. Part of being a parent is dealing with the most disgusting aspects of human life, but at least you get a kid out of it. If you raise them right, they'll do the same for you when you're old and dying.
 
Diapers are literally the easiest part.

Gross is just a small feeling that you can fix with soap and water after you're done. Wait until you get massive adrenaline spikes because your kid fell off their bed in a way that looks like it would do long-term damage to them.

Or they try to run away from you in a busy parking lot.

Or they get a really bad stomach ache and spend hours crying and puking in the ER where you're considering the ethical situation of John Q. Because the doctors and nurses are ignoring your kid and just giggling at each other at the nurse's station.

Or you let your in-laws watch the kids for the weekend and all you do is talk to your spouse about how much you miss hearing then running around or having mini panic attacks because you DONT hear them, so you think they're either hurt or burning down the garage before you realize they're out with people you trust.
 
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