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The only video games Green politifaggots are good at is giving infinity gibs to infinity 3rd worlders.I would trust a Cities Skylines player more than a Green politician tbh
I tried that but it only got rid of HoI4.I remember once reading an urban legend that if you have sex, all the Paradox games on your PC will delete themselves.
Finally some motivating factorI remember once reading an urban legend that if you have sex, all the Paradox games on your PC will delete themselves.
Neat game. Turns out I'd be a much better president than Putin.Reminds me of Pax historia.
View attachment 9703167
There were these gut-busting screenshots of Hitler annexing Poland without war breaking out because he threatened to kill himself but I can't find them.
Maybe Andronikos III can regain all of the empire's lost lands if just suicide-baited hard enough.
February 25th, 2026
Rounds 1-5
From January 1 to January 8, 2026, Russia issued an ultimatum treating foreign aid to Ukraine as direct participation, enforcing it with a Kinzhal strike on a western weapons depot. This triggered global market volatility and a temporary NATO pause on heavy weapons deliveries despite public defiance. By mid-January, tensions escalated as the US deployed the USS Gerald R. Ford to the Norwegian Sea, prompting Russian Northern Fleet shadowing and a DEFCON 3 alert. Russia placed its Western Military District on high readiness, while Ukraine declared martial law. Exploiting EU energy fractures caused by gas rationing, Russian disinformation campaigns incited protests in France and Germany, leading to the fall of the French Prime Minister and Berlin's unilateral suspension of EU energy plans, effectively shattering Western unity.
On January 23, capitalizing on stalled Western support and Polish border distractions, Russia launched a massive coordinated offensive toward the Dnieper. Russian forces rapidly liberated Kherson, secured the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant, and blockaded Odessa. By February 1, the southern front collapsed; thousands of Ukrainian troops surrendered in the Odessa pocket, and Mykolaiv fell, opening a corridor to Odessa's suburbs. Simultaneously, fierce artillery duels erupted along the Dnieper as Ukraine attempted to hold the river line. On February 1, diplomatic talks occurred between Russia and Ukraine; Russia demanded unconditional surrender citing Ukraine's landlocked status, while Kyiv vowed to fight to the last man from Lviv and Kharkiv, rejecting all terms.
Following these failed negotiations, Russia intensified psychological warfare starting February 2, broadcasting propaganda depicting President Zelenskyy as a deserter while offering safe passage to defectors. Combined with relentless harassment fire, this strategy broke Ukrainian morale. On February 6, a battalion of the 93rd Mechanized Brigade defected at Kremenchuk, allowing Russian forces to establish a critical bridgehead on the western Dnieper bank by February 8. The front disintegrated; rumors of a coup paralyzed Kyiv, and by February 14, the Ukrainian government fled to Lviv amidst capital riots. Russian troops entered Kyiv unopposed on February 15 as the garrison surrendered. Kharkiv followed suit on February 23 to avoid destruction. With NATO ruling out intervention due to internal European instability, Russia issued a final ultimatum on February 25 for the dissolution of the remaining Lviv-based rump state, threatening total occupation if refused.
April 9th, 2026
Rounds 6-10
From February 25 to March 7, 2026, Russian forces executed a total encirclement of Lviv, systematically disabling power and water supplies while cutting all supply lines. This strategy precipitated a collapse of Ukrainian morale; entire units of the 3rd Assault Brigade surrendered near Kremenchuk, and organized resistance east of the Dnieper ceased. Kyiv descended into riots following the government's flight, fracturing the capital. NATO formally ruled out direct intervention on March 1st, sealing Ukraine's isolation. By March 6th, Russian advances linked southern and central fronts, securing Kropyvnytskyi and closing the northern pincer at Chernihiv.
Diplomatic exchanges during this period were terse. On February 25th, Russia demanded General Syrskiy's surrender and hinted at internal action against President Zelenskyy, which Ukraine flatly rejected, vowing to fight to the end. A similar ultimatum issued on March 8th was met with defiance, as Kyiv refused custody or state dissolution.
Between March 8th and 28th, Russia shifted to a "Silent Encirclement," denying the regime a martyr's death by withholding assault while maintaining a suffocating blockade. Backchannel intelligence operations successfully drove wedges between Ukrainian political leadership and military commanders, offering amnesty for those who arrested Zelenskyy. Simultaneously, ethnic Hungarian minorities in Transcarpathia declared autonomy amidst the power vacuum. Russia deployed a "Humanitarian Stabilization Force" to the region, coordinating with local councils to establish a puppet administration under the guise of protecting ethnic kin, effectively creating a buffer zone that Hungary later endorsed.
On March 28th, negotiations resumed as Ukraine requested a ceasefire. Russia demanded total state dissolution, unconditional surrender of arms, territorial cession including Transcarpathia, and judicial review for leadership, rejecting safe passage for officials. Ukraine refused these terms, threatening urban combat to the last man. In response, Russia terminated the humanitarian corridor, trapping the remaining population, and issued a "Storm Order" for dawn on March 29th with strict rules to capture leadership alive.
The final assault on March 29th saw Russian special forces breach Lviv with precision, neutralizing resistance and capturing President Zelenskyy and his cabinet alive within the presidential bunker. Organized resistance collapsed immediately, with white flags appearing across the city. By April 4th, Decree 404 formally dissolved the Ukrainian state, absorbing all territories and assets into the Russian Federation. The land was reorganized into four new federal districts: Little Russia, Novorossiya, Carpathia, and Podolia. Transcarpathia was fully integrated as the Autonomous Okrug of Carpathia on April 6th. NATO adopted an "Eastern Containment Doctrine," fortifying member borders but accepting the new reality. By April 9th, electricity was restored in Lviv, grain shipments resumed from the Black Sea, and Moscow prepared a Victory Parade, marking the definitive end of hostilities and the establishment of Russian hegemony in Eastern Europe.
I'm testing this theory matesI remember once reading an urban legend that if you have sex, all the Paradox games on your PC will delete themselves.
Reminds me of Pax historia.
View attachment 9703167
There were these gut-busting screenshots of Hitler annexing Poland without war breaking out because he threatened to kill himself but I can't find them.
Maybe Andronikos III can regain all of the empire's lost lands if just suicide-baited hard enough.
I didn't start playing most Paradox shit until after I was married. Hell most of the PDX games/DLC I own were a gift from my wife in the first place.You know I swear I was around for the launch of CK2 (reading the dev diaries) and I have Victoria II on my computer in high school but I think I actually did mostly start playing Paradox games AFTER I nutted in a woman