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- Jun 18, 2014
USA has fallen to the Space Muslims. They finally did it, they built that space mosque and hope is fading. The deadline to finish the fight is drawing ever closer.
OpenXcom: The Queaky Defense
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- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT:
KNOCK NOCK MOTHERFUCKER, MIND IF WE COME IN
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
YEAHHH BITCH I FUKT YOUR MOM
Chyeah dudes, a tactical storm's hitting the base right now basically! Fred moves north and--the fuck is that in the dark? One of those FUCKED UP things? He throws a tactical flare--
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WAT IS THAT
Dude that's ficked ehhhhhhhhhp!! The Dude moves in and unloads dude, fucking kill that shit!
Unrealistic dude, almost every shot hit to no effect!
The space muslims are everywhere dude, this is FUCKED UP! Shots are going back and forth like crazy on both turns man, this is intense!
Fuck!
Another izlamb jihadist of space trips off a proximity grenade on one of the northern fronts. He survived though Looks like the two on that flank will have to go CQC on the fucker.
Meanwhile Randall lines up a long-range blaster bomb shot on one of these FUCKED UP pieces of terrorist shit. Basically like, heh, if a SAW won't work let's try like, something stronger, tahaaaaa!
FUCK yeah, that worked real good!
KNOCK NOCK MOTHERFUCKER, MIND IF WE COME IN
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
YEAHHH BITCH I FUKT YOUR MOM
Chyeah dudes, a tactical storm's hitting the base right now basically! Fred moves north and--the fuck is that in the dark? One of those FUCKED UP things? He throws a tactical flare--
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WAT IS THAT
Dude that's ficked ehhhhhhhhhp!! The Dude moves in and unloads dude, fucking kill that shit!
Unrealistic dude, almost every shot hit to no effect!
The space muslims are everywhere dude, this is FUCKED UP! Shots are going back and forth like crazy on both turns man, this is intense!
Fuck!
Another izlamb jihadist of space trips off a proximity grenade on one of the northern fronts. He survived though
Looks like the two on that flank will have to go CQC on the fucker.
Meanwhile Randall lines up a long-range blaster bomb shot on one of these FUCKED UP pieces of terrorist shit. Basically like, heh, if a SAW won't work let's try like, something stronger, tahaaaaa!
FUCK yeah, that worked real good!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION:
Dammit another man's down
This is FUCKED UP, we only have ten troops here and our tank. Every loss is a serious hit to our firepower dude, this is bad news.
The firefights around the base continue, basically everyone's just trying to take out the tangos dude. GREEDY FIREMAN engages a space muslim in a tower, while Eli--
Ohhhhhh fuck Eli.
Like #Tactics dude, Eli dodges out of the gap before the tangos notice him and Randall spins around with the blaster launcher. He lines the shot up like "Heh...checkmate bitch, TAHAAAAAA"
FUCK yeah!
FUCK no
Opulence downs the galactic jihadist but not before it kills both the troops that had been engaging it
Meanwhile, GREEDY FIREMAN's tango tries parkouring away. Heh, like, doesn't it know...
Heh, never turn your back on a Muhreen dude.
On a different front, the tank found that first FUCKED UP TERRORIST IED PIECE OF SHIT from the earlier part of the mission. Its first rocket doesn't take it out Now the tank's gotta survive the return fire or shit'll get FUBAR.
Speaking of FUBAR, a space muslim has come right up to Randall! He empties almost his entire clip to no effect...basically he's like scared and shit dude, he's like "Oh come on dude NOOOOO--"
Uh...or not? Randall lucked out, looks like he did enough damage that the thing bled out next turn.
And the tank took out the terrorist IED piece of shit thing, too. Good stuff gamers.
FIREMAN, Opulence and Eli regroup and start breaching the tactical command center. Time to end this, dudes.
Shit, the fuck's going on upstairs?! An IED?
Eli and FIREMAN go up with stun rods ready but neither can score a good hit! Fuck dude, they're awful close to a muslim with a really big gun...Randall readies another shot in case shit goes south--
Uhhhh...what? Did it commit like tactical seppuku? Huh, no space virgins for him I guess. Fuck it dude, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth or some shit...mission accomplished.
Medals for all the survivors, dude. Of note is Randall earning the rare Performance Citation for his hardcore tactical clearing of that command area with a blaster bomb. That move might have been the factor that kept Eli alive to the end of the mission. Looking back, I can't remember another soldier earning it since Connor, actually. Basically like a #Throwback basically dude, tah.
What a way to kick off December. After an awful time of things last month we've come back with one of our most tactical strikes yet. In a few days we'll be going after the tango base in america, and after that...
Heh.... We'll see like where we'll be striking after that gamers, if you catch my drift essentially.
Dammit another man's down
This is FUCKED UP, we only have ten troops here and our tank. Every loss is a serious hit to our firepower dude, this is bad news.
The firefights around the base continue, basically everyone's just trying to take out the tangos dude. GREEDY FIREMAN engages a space muslim in a tower, while Eli--
Ohhhhhh fuck Eli.
Like #Tactics dude, Eli dodges out of the gap before the tangos notice him and Randall spins around with the blaster launcher. He lines the shot up like "Heh...checkmate bitch, TAHAAAAAA"
FUCK yeah!
FUCK no
Opulence downs the galactic jihadist but not before it kills both the troops that had been engaging it
Meanwhile, GREEDY FIREMAN's tango tries parkouring away. Heh, like, doesn't it know...
Heh, never turn your back on a Muhreen dude.
On a different front, the tank found that first FUCKED UP TERRORIST IED PIECE OF SHIT from the earlier part of the mission. Its first rocket doesn't take it out
Now the tank's gotta survive the return fire or shit'll get FUBAR.
Speaking of FUBAR, a space muslim has come right up to Randall! He empties almost his entire clip to no effect...basically he's like scared and shit dude, he's like "Oh come on dude NOOOOO--"
Uh...or not? Randall lucked out, looks like he did enough damage that the thing bled out next turn.
And the tank took out the terrorist IED piece of shit thing, too. Good stuff gamers.
FIREMAN, Opulence and Eli regroup and start breaching the tactical command center. Time to end this, dudes.
Shit, the fuck's going on upstairs?! An IED?
Eli and FIREMAN go up with stun rods ready but neither can score a good hit! Fuck dude, they're awful close to a muslim with a really big gun...Randall readies another shot in case shit goes south--
Uhhhh...what? Did it commit like tactical seppuku? Huh, no space virgins for him I guess. Fuck it dude, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth or some shit...mission accomplished.
Medals for all the survivors, dude. Of note is Randall earning the rare Performance Citation for his hardcore tactical clearing of that command area with a blaster bomb. That move might have been the factor that kept Eli alive to the end of the mission. Looking back, I can't remember another soldier earning it since Connor, actually. Basically like a #Throwback basically dude, tah.
What a way to kick off December. After an awful time of things last month we've come back with one of our most tactical strikes yet. In a few days we'll be going after the tango base in america, and after that...
Heh.... We'll see like where we'll be striking after that gamers, if you catch my drift essentially.
E
EI 903
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
DECEMBER 6, 1999
Basically like #NightOps dude, the men have come back from a top secret assault gamers. The USA tango base is down. We lost some damn good men for it, though.
Mustafa's been promoted to sergeant. He'll be taking Bungholio's place
But on the bright side, his sacrifice won't be for nothing. The nerds are done with Space Osama, gamers. They haven't told me much about what they're researching with the intel they got off him but it sounds fudcking important.
Only thing to it's to wait a little longer...
Heh, like, like my tactical command teacher always said dude. Good things come to those who tactically wait.
The briefing is clear, man. The nerds have finished their fight--there's nothing more to learn on earth. It's time, dude. At long fudcking last, after so many losses at every turn...
The engineers start getting their final work orders of the war. This is it, dude. For real this time, we're gonna finish the fight.
Basically like #NightOps dude, the men have come back from a top secret assault gamers. The USA tango base is down. We lost some damn good men for it, though.
Mustafa's been promoted to sergeant. He'll be taking Bungholio's place
But on the bright side, his sacrifice won't be for nothing. The nerds are done with Space Osama, gamers. They haven't told me much about what they're researching with the intel they got off him but it sounds fudcking important.
Only thing to it's to wait a little longer...
Heh, like, like my tactical command teacher always said dude. Good things come to those who tactically wait.
The briefing is clear, man. The nerds have finished their fight--there's nothing more to learn on earth. It's time, dude. At long fudcking last, after so many losses at every turn...
The engineers start getting their final work orders of the war. This is it, dude. For real this time, we're gonna finish the fight.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
DECEMBER 23, 1999
Preparations are done dude. 26 brave members of the Queaky Farms are loaded up with the most tactical and hardcore gear and equipment this army has ever put out. There's a huge number of rookies fresh out of the draft, but there are some veterans that are here to finish the fight. Strewth, Kagayaki and Surtur, the final tactical survivors of #StrykerSquad, are paired up with Mustafa and CatParty. Saney's still around, in charge of his own squad wearing Glaive's colors. And Katsu's Buttslave is also on board, heading a rookie squad with his tactical experience of the battlefield. Basically everyone's here to take out the tangos, dude.
There's nothing else on earth for us now.
LET'S FINISH THE FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!111111!!!!1
FUCK yeah dude, it's time to END this!
FINAL REPORT:
The TYCENADO lands dude. One of the pyramids on the planet surface leads to the true Space Osama's secret base. The team's gonna find it dude, and finish the fight!
Like #Roleplay dude, Strewth's not one for big speeches but he's just like "Okay gamers...we've lived this long okay, we've fucking SURVIVED dude, there's nothing that can fuck that up anymore dudes. We've fought all these fuckers before okay, just one more time okay and we're DONE dudes! We gatta stahp!!"
And the team's like "GATTA STAHP THE MOSQUE ON CYDONIA!"
And then they get to it gamers, like one last time.
A random rookie becomes the first tactical soldier to step on Mars. Basically we're back to #Squads gamers, and A Squad unloads fast.
The first tango of the op comes into view with a tactical flare.
Dropped no problem, dude. Heh, like, first wave is going good I guess.
With A Squad down fine, Saney's B Squad gets ready to deploy a little surprise the nerds cooked up for this mission. Behind them, C and D Squads are ready to go, along with the #LCS-#StrykerSquad group.
A single shot comes from the pyramid to the east on the enemy turn. Let's handle this gamers.
Surprise, bitch! Saney's team takes to the sky motherfucker, like #FlyingArmor dude. It was the last thing the nerds put together for the scout squad before it was time to leave.
The buttslave's C Squad holds until the guys on the ground can get a little more space between them. We've learned our lessons in the past okay, grenades are FUCKED UP and they are everywhere.
A couple quiet turns later C Squad decides to support the ground teams a little. They start slinging some flares for the troops to pick up and reuse--
Oh, hello there. Looks like one of the flares found the entrance to the space mosque.
Shit, one of the rookies takes fire from a pyramid we thought we cleared!
Preparations are done dude. 26 brave members of the Queaky Farms are loaded up with the most tactical and hardcore gear and equipment this army has ever put out. There's a huge number of rookies fresh out of the draft, but there are some veterans that are here to finish the fight. Strewth, Kagayaki and Surtur, the final tactical survivors of #StrykerSquad, are paired up with Mustafa and CatParty. Saney's still around, in charge of his own squad wearing Glaive's colors. And Katsu's Buttslave is also on board, heading a rookie squad with his tactical experience of the battlefield. Basically everyone's here to take out the tangos, dude.
There's nothing else on earth for us now.
LET'S FINISH THE FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!111111!!!!1
FUCK yeah dude, it's time to END this!
FINAL REPORT:
The TYCENADO lands dude. One of the pyramids on the planet surface leads to the true Space Osama's secret base. The team's gonna find it dude, and finish the fight!
Like #Roleplay dude, Strewth's not one for big speeches but he's just like "Okay gamers...we've lived this long okay, we've fucking SURVIVED dude, there's nothing that can fuck that up anymore dudes. We've fought all these fuckers before okay, just one more time okay and we're DONE dudes! We gatta stahp!!"
And the team's like "GATTA STAHP THE MOSQUE ON CYDONIA!"
And then they get to it gamers, like one last time.
A random rookie becomes the first tactical soldier to step on Mars. Basically we're back to #Squads gamers, and A Squad unloads fast.
The first tango of the op comes into view with a tactical flare.
Dropped no problem, dude. Heh, like, first wave is going good I guess.
With A Squad down fine, Saney's B Squad gets ready to deploy a little surprise the nerds cooked up for this mission. Behind them, C and D Squads are ready to go, along with the #LCS-#StrykerSquad group.
A single shot comes from the pyramid to the east on the enemy turn. Let's handle this gamers.
Surprise, bitch! Saney's team takes to the sky motherfucker, like #FlyingArmor dude. It was the last thing the nerds put together for the scout squad before it was time to leave.
The buttslave's C Squad holds until the guys on the ground can get a little more space between them. We've learned our lessons in the past okay, grenades are FUCKED UP and they are everywhere.
A couple quiet turns later C Squad decides to support the ground teams a little. They start slinging some flares for the troops to pick up and reuse--
Oh, hello there. Looks like one of the flares found the entrance to the space mosque.
Shit, one of the rookies takes fire from a pyramid we thought we cleared!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
FINAL REPORT CONTINUED:
A green soldier called Angichu blows out the building with a blaster launcher from above. The rookie's down though
Slow and steady dude, that's how it's done...Katsu's Buttslave decides it's time and C squad drops off.
Meanwhile some house-to-house shit's going on with these pyramids, gamers. It looks like all the ones that aren't housing the way into the mosque is a concealed HAARP tower dude, FUCKED UP! The teams on the ground shoot their way through several tangos on their way by the towers of gay destruction. They have to clear a good route to the lift or we'll be FUBAR.
As #LiberalStrykerSquad drops off and everyone pushes further, one of the B Squad scouts notices something in the distance. Shit dude, those FUCKED UP FRISBEES are here too. I should've figured, they'll probably be pulling out all the stops today.
Heh, so are we though.
FUCK yeah dude #Don'tFuckWithUs #BlasterLaunchersDabes
We take some light fire but nobody else is down yet, and the route's secure now. All the Squads move or the entryway; it's time to stop the space mosque.
A green soldier called Angichu blows out the building with a blaster launcher from above. The rookie's down though
Slow and steady dude, that's how it's done...Katsu's Buttslave decides it's time and C squad drops off.
Meanwhile some house-to-house shit's going on with these pyramids, gamers. It looks like all the ones that aren't housing the way into the mosque is a concealed HAARP tower dude, FUCKED UP! The teams on the ground shoot their way through several tangos on their way by the towers of gay destruction. They have to clear a good route to the lift or we'll be FUBAR.
As #LiberalStrykerSquad drops off and everyone pushes further, one of the B Squad scouts notices something in the distance. Shit dude, those FUCKED UP FRISBEES are here too. I should've figured, they'll probably be pulling out all the stops today.
Heh, so are we though.
FUCK yeah dude #Don'tFuckWithUs #BlasterLaunchersDabes
We take some light fire but nobody else is down yet, and the route's secure now. All the Squads move or the entryway; it's time to stop the space mosque.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
FINAL REPORT CONTINUED:
This is it gamers, we're inside the space mosque. With only a couple casualties on the surface almost the entire landing force is in the tunnels dudes, in the tunnels and ready to finish the fight. Let's do it.
Dunsparce and one of Saney's scouts are the first two down. In moments they've downed one of those FUCKED UP pink things. Basically like #Roleplay, Dun's like "Heh, you're bann from life dude."
The rest of the northern team drops down and a tactical tear comes to my eye, dude. Survivors and rookies alike are looking tactical as fuck; the unity of stopping this FUCKED UP mosque from destroying the world has brought everyone's skills to Stryker-level highs.
Surtur and Strewth's group hits the deck too. This is it gamers, brace for return fire and let's get to it!
Aw shit, there's something in the shadows.
There's chrysalids down here
FUCK this dudes, we're not gonna be scared anymore! A rookie scouts ahead, getting into the crucial danger zone...
And Joey teaches the fucker a lesson with his blaster launcher
Proximity grenades are tossed at tactical points as the teams start securing their territory. They might not stop anything but they'll at least warn of tangos approaching from the flanks--
FUCK, FUCKED UP IED in that room over there!
Paul's hit!
Another blaster bomb ends the scrap pile before it can get a shot on Kagayaki. Heh, like, the mosque is looking pretty screwed by this point dudes. We're not leaving any of their shit standing today!
The teams continue bombing all the Muslim shit and gaining ground. Surtur and Katsu's Buttslave find a large structure a bit further south--maybe the last room? They take a few men with them and start moving down that way.
Meanwhile a soldier notices an intergalactic jihadist of space slinking around in the shadows. Basically everybody just gets eyes alert you know, they check their corners and shit. This assault's been going well so far but a moment's notice could flip it for the worse dude, and that's basically what I believe dude, what I know to be true from the tactical experiences of this war.
This is it gamers, we're inside the space mosque. With only a couple casualties on the surface almost the entire landing force is in the tunnels dudes, in the tunnels and ready to finish the fight. Let's do it.
Dunsparce and one of Saney's scouts are the first two down. In moments they've downed one of those FUCKED UP pink things. Basically like #Roleplay, Dun's like "Heh, you're bann from life dude."
The rest of the northern team drops down and a tactical tear comes to my eye, dude. Survivors and rookies alike are looking tactical as fuck; the unity of stopping this FUCKED UP mosque from destroying the world has brought everyone's skills to Stryker-level highs.
Surtur and Strewth's group hits the deck too. This is it gamers, brace for return fire and let's get to it!
Aw shit, there's something in the shadows.
There's chrysalids down here
FUCK this dudes, we're not gonna be scared anymore! A rookie scouts ahead, getting into the crucial danger zone...
And Joey teaches the fucker a lesson with his blaster launcher
Proximity grenades are tossed at tactical points as the teams start securing their territory. They might not stop anything but they'll at least warn of tangos approaching from the flanks--
FUCK, FUCKED UP IED in that room over there!
Paul's hit!
Another blaster bomb ends the scrap pile before it can get a shot on Kagayaki. Heh, like, the mosque is looking pretty screwed by this point dudes. We're not leaving any of their shit standing today!
The teams continue bombing all the Muslim shit and gaining ground. Surtur and Katsu's Buttslave find a large structure a bit further south--maybe the last room? They take a few men with them and start moving down that way.
Meanwhile a soldier notices an intergalactic jihadist of space slinking around in the shadows. Basically everybody just gets eyes alert you know, they check their corners and shit. This assault's been going well so far but a moment's notice could flip it for the worse dude, and that's basically what I believe dude, what I know to be true from the tactical experiences of this war.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
FINAL REPORT CONCLUSION:
The south team runs into a couple of those FUCKED UP burning things, too. We haven't seen much of them since that earlier base assault.
Heh, Strewth and Cmcki take the fucks out no problem. Like #Roleplay dude, the vet and the rookie just look at each other and nod dude, like that silent nod that says that they're both gonna make it home from this, you know.
Dun and Abilene find themselves in a structure we haven't dealt with before. This is larger than the towers we've seen before in alien bases--is this the final area? We really have no clue what we're looking for dude, the nerds did their best but our intel's still lacking.
The space muslim shows its robe-ass face again
Catparty turns to face the tango. Basically he like puts on his combat glasses and is just like "Hey outist...this one's for boo."
He double-taps the extra-dimensional raghead and turns as a blaster bomb blows it away. Basically that's how #StrykerSquad does #Vengeance gamers, and don't you forget it.
Cmcki locates and brings down another space muslim. There's definitely something over here dudes, the southern team starts moving for this position.
Surtur, Katsu's Buttslave, Cmcki and Kagayaki are the closest ones in the area. There's no time to waste--their hearts are pounding dude, like holy shit this may be the final tango--
NOOOOOOOOO!
DUDE THAT'S FICKED EHHHHHHHHP! Surtur was killed by a fucking suicide bomber space muslim inches from the door! I'm certain of it dude, there's some FUCKED UP shit behind this door okay, FUCK this okay let's finish this fight!
Katsu's Buttslave like staggers forward okay, he was fucked bad by that explosion but he's still alive dude. He still wants to finish the fight okay, and the southern team is like feeding off that bravery dude, they're so ready.
They enter the room, dude.
THEY FINISH THE FIGHT.
The south team runs into a couple of those FUCKED UP burning things, too. We haven't seen much of them since that earlier base assault.
Heh, Strewth and Cmcki take the fucks out no problem. Like #Roleplay dude, the vet and the rookie just look at each other and nod dude, like that silent nod that says that they're both gonna make it home from this, you know.
Dun and Abilene find themselves in a structure we haven't dealt with before. This is larger than the towers we've seen before in alien bases--is this the final area? We really have no clue what we're looking for dude, the nerds did their best but our intel's still lacking.
The space muslim shows its robe-ass face again
Catparty turns to face the tango. Basically he like puts on his combat glasses and is just like "Hey outist...this one's for boo."
He double-taps the extra-dimensional raghead and turns as a blaster bomb blows it away. Basically that's how #StrykerSquad does #Vengeance gamers, and don't you forget it.
Cmcki locates and brings down another space muslim. There's definitely something over here dudes, the southern team starts moving for this position.
Surtur, Katsu's Buttslave, Cmcki and Kagayaki are the closest ones in the area. There's no time to waste--their hearts are pounding dude, like holy shit this may be the final tango--
NOOOOOOOOO!
DUDE THAT'S FICKED EHHHHHHHHP! Surtur was killed by a fucking suicide bomber space muslim inches from the door!
I'm certain of it dude, there's some FUCKED UP shit behind this door okay, FUCK this okay let's finish this fight!
Katsu's Buttslave like staggers forward okay, he was fucked bad by that explosion but he's still alive dude. He still wants to finish the fight okay, and the southern team is like feeding off that bravery dude, they're so ready.
They enter the room, dude.
THEY FINISH THE FIGHT.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
Proud soldiers of the Queaky Farms, we've become the dream and we've finished the fight. We lost over a hundred soldiers to score this victory for Earth, many of them some of the most tactical motherfuckers the world has seen in years. Please gamers, press 1 and join me in both celebrating our success and mourning our lost. Press 1 for Glaive's Squad, for #StrykerSquad's many fallen, for #LiberalCrimeSquad's lost squadmate. Press 1 for all the tactical warriors that lost their lives so you could keep yours.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
You Finished the fight well done.
You Finished the fight well done.
- Joined
- May 20, 2014
EDIT: Dammit wanted to make an ASCII art of a big 1 out of 1s.
Nvm.
Good job finishing the fight, commander. It was both tactical and realistic.
You gonna crush those sea-tangos, next?
Nvm.
Good job finishing the fight, commander. It was both tactical and realistic.
You gonna crush those sea-tangos, next?
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
For the moment the world is safe from the tango threat. I have been allowed to disclose that we've been reading some strangely muslim feedback from the ocean floor, though...
E
EI 903
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Looks like the majority of Tavern's troops decided to get in tight formation for post-war review...
