- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Who would have thought that Katsu's butt slave would outlive Katsu and so many others?
OpenXcom: The Queaky Defense
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- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
I regret being unable to save Teem.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
SEPTEMBER 1, 1999
A large ship flies over the desert in Africa. The fuckers don't know it yet but that's one of the last big ships that'll fly away in one piece.
For a while now the engineers have been working on something big. Something that could like change the game, dude.
I'm not saying anything okay, but all I'm saying is I've sunk a little of that base detroying money into building some new living quarters...
Meanwhile, with all the really important research we needed done for the base assault over, the nerds are free to choose whatever toy they want to study next. They've all started looking at this weird launcher thing the guys brought back from one of our UFO clearings from a month or two again.
Nothing to do now but wait for the next hittable craft. Heh, like, waiting for the next wave dude, basically yeah.
SEPTEMBER 2, 1999
Some extra gear came in today. Hardly took a chip out of our funds, though--I don't know what we're gonna do with all this extra cash. I guess some could always go into our soldiers' TOBACCO fund.
And another small ship crash. Heh, like, we're getting too good at these.
Katsu's Buttslave takes the last of the rookies in one go. After that we need more grunts with some experience--we'll have to tyr training them all at once. Also heading along are some other base assault survivors, Mondo, Joey and HrrDrr.
Like, doing this shit nothing's really "routine," but small UFO runs come close. The rookies are feeling good about this one. The vets in the back though, like #Roleplaaaay tahaa, they're just like quiet and shit by now when they do 'cause like they're too jaded and veteran and shit. Basically they're being like tactical philosophers of the battlefield you know, like they look around them and they're like wondering who's the next one not coming home.
A large ship flies over the desert in Africa. The fuckers don't know it yet but that's one of the last big ships that'll fly away in one piece.
For a while now the engineers have been working on something big. Something that could like change the game, dude.
I'm not saying anything okay, but all I'm saying is I've sunk a little of that base detroying money into building some new living quarters...
Meanwhile, with all the really important research we needed done for the base assault over, the nerds are free to choose whatever toy they want to study next. They've all started looking at this weird launcher thing the guys brought back from one of our UFO clearings from a month or two again.
Nothing to do now but wait for the next hittable craft. Heh, like, waiting for the next wave dude, basically yeah.
SEPTEMBER 2, 1999
Some extra gear came in today. Hardly took a chip out of our funds, though--I don't know what we're gonna do with all this extra cash. I guess some could always go into our soldiers' TOBACCO fund.
And another small ship crash. Heh, like, we're getting too good at these.
Katsu's Buttslave takes the last of the rookies in one go. After that we need more grunts with some experience--we'll have to tyr training them all at once. Also heading along are some other base assault survivors, Mondo, Joey and HrrDrr.
Like, doing this shit nothing's really "routine," but small UFO runs come close. The rookies are feeling good about this one. The vets in the back though, like #Roleplaaaay tahaa, they're just like quiet and shit by now when they do 'cause like they're too jaded and veteran and shit. Basically they're being like tactical philosophers of the battlefield you know, like they look around them and they're like wondering who's the next one not coming home.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
In the end the op was a success but it was almost nasty. Three turns in we had a man dead and several others unconscious in the sands from some crazy explosion. We were lucky shit didn't get really FUBAR--HrrDrr and Joey saved the day here, for sure.
The nerds have finished figuring out what the FUCK it was that's been giving us trouble. They've named it the "Blaster Launcher," and it sounds like it could be the most tactical explosive we've gotten our hands on yet. The nerds will work on researching the ammo immediately.
SEPTEMBER 9, 1999
The living quarters are finished and I've called for the biggest draft yet. 22 new soldiers will be arriving at the base soon.Heh, like, my plans are finally coming together.
Damn, a terror mission now of all times. Whatever, dude, we're not running no more, not this close to something big okay!
Almost a full skyraider gets loaded up dude, and like I'm proud and shit. There aren't any total noobs coming into this this time dude, not one guy on this team hasn't been tested under fire before. Basically they're the second-best of the best, the #StrykerSquad of tomorrow, essentially. I got high hopes for this.
COMBAT REPORT:
Going through the inventory I notice something that I somehow kept forgetting to acknowledge--a guy in the orange power armor of Glaive's squad. It's Saney, one of Glaive's team that has somehow survived all this time. Heh, like, #Roleplay dudes, basically by now he's like the quiet soldier guy who doesn't really get noticed much, but you know dude, like, you know he has your back man, and that's basically what I believe. Hopefully his luck carries him through again today.
Lars drops off the ramp and finds the first tango. Heh, snakey-faggots, huh? We know how to deal with them.
A quick burst to the chest, tahaaaaa! #Can'tBartheLars
Luna and Just Some Jerm unload and move up as well, no big--OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
AHHHHHHHHHH
OH MY GOD WHAT DID IT DO TO HIM!
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
The inspiration behind dear commander's actions
Nah, he don't like bewbs.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Send me in, Coach. Also, if bgheff gets killed I'm going to be sad.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Have I been a character yet? I didn't see my name on the memorial.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONTINUED:
KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT
Taking it down took way too much firepower, this is FUCKED UP dude! And what about that soldier, it looks all FUCKED UP too!
HrrDrr swings around with the heavy guns dude, this has to work man!
HOLY SHIT
OH MY GOD ANOTHER ONE EXPLODED OUT HIS BODY
Thank StrykerJesus, Mondo and Tiresome were able to gun it down from the ship. This is FUCKED UP dude, this is the most FUCKED UP thing I've ever seen as a tactical commander!
Okay, okay we're fine okay, we got Mondo and Tiresome covering us and we got HrrDrr on the ground like calling shots and shit okay...we're just gonna get a perimeter set up and go carefully okay, that's how we'll do this--
Fuck, shots fired!
This is FUCKED UP dude there's one right there, the screams from these things are all over the place!
Basically like #Roleplay dudes everyone's like flipping out by now dude, HrrDrr comes back around to this side and Tiresome hops off the skyraider to add some firepower man.
FUCK yeah dude, Tiresome did it #Tired
Those fuckers are still moving around dude, this is FUCKED UP DUDE...the screams man, there's more screams than any other terror mission before...
Dude, what the FUCK? A couple civvies burst out the building to our right! There's still survivors dude! Like #Roleplay man, the soldiers are like calling for the dudes to run, 'cause like this op is FUBAR.
Meanwhile, Just Some Jerk picks up one of these FUCKED UP pieces of shit. If this has to be scrapped I'm not letting this be a complete loss.
They keep coming on every front, dude. Tiresome just took a plasma bolt in the chest for HrrDrr on that last turn. Basically some #Roleplay, Tiresome looks back at his bud and he's just like "HRRDRR! STAY WITH THE SHIP"
And HrrDrr's like "NO dude you're chill!"
But Tiresome's like "DUDE, GET THE FUCK OUT"
KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT
Taking it down took way too much firepower, this is FUCKED UP dude! And what about that soldier, it looks all FUCKED UP too!
HrrDrr swings around with the heavy guns dude, this has to work man!
HOLY SHIT
OH MY GOD ANOTHER ONE EXPLODED OUT HIS BODY
Thank StrykerJesus, Mondo and Tiresome were able to gun it down from the ship. This is FUCKED UP dude, this is the most FUCKED UP thing I've ever seen as a tactical commander!
Okay, okay we're fine okay, we got Mondo and Tiresome covering us and we got HrrDrr on the ground like calling shots and shit okay...we're just gonna get a perimeter set up and go carefully okay, that's how we'll do this--
Fuck, shots fired!
This is FUCKED UP dude there's one right there, the screams from these things are all over the place!
Basically like #Roleplay dudes everyone's like flipping out by now dude, HrrDrr comes back around to this side and Tiresome hops off the skyraider to add some firepower man.
FUCK yeah dude, Tiresome did it #Tired
Those fuckers are still moving around dude, this is FUCKED UP DUDE...the screams man, there's more screams than any other terror mission before...
Dude, what the FUCK? A couple civvies burst out the building to our right! There's still survivors dude! Like #Roleplay man, the soldiers are like calling for the dudes to run, 'cause like this op is FUBAR.
Meanwhile, Just Some Jerk picks up one of these FUCKED UP pieces of shit. If this has to be scrapped I'm not letting this be a complete loss.
They keep coming on every front, dude. Tiresome just took a plasma bolt in the chest for HrrDrr on that last turn. Basically some #Roleplay, Tiresome looks back at his bud and he's just like "HRRDRR! STAY WITH THE SHIP"
And HrrDrr's like "NO dude you're chill!"
But Tiresome's like "DUDE, GET THE FUCK OUT"
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION:
FUCK!!
And the Chrysalid's headed toward Tiresome, basically he puts on his tactical glasses and is like
"Heh...I always was a little TIRED, tahaaaAAAAGHHHHGHGHHGKH"
HrrDrr takes one look at the carnage.
The whole north squad was wiped by a grenade while trying to escort a civvie. Pine Tar's all staggering around, like shell-shocked and bleeding and shit.
And Tiresome's front has gone quiet.
Mondo manages to lead Pine Tar toward the ship with his voice. Basically the guy's like all scared and shit, he's like "DON'T LEAVE ME MAN DON'T LEAVE MEEEEE!"
Oh, god.
He's run out of energy.
Basically #Roleplay, Pine Tar's just like "GUYS WAIT MAN, I CAN'T MOVE DUDE, I'M TOO TIRED DUDE"
Problem is, we can't spend another turn for him. The chrysalids and Tiresome's corpse are too close, they'd reach us in one turn.
HrrDrr like tells him this.
And he's like "No dude no THAT'S FUCKED UP DUDE, PLEEEEEASE"
He was one tile away from the evac zone.
God damn it, that's FUCKED UP.
Nobody talks heading back from this op.
We've all seen a lot of FUCKED UP things throughout the course of this war. Every time we thought the tangos couldn't FUCK THINGS UP more they one-upped their last move. But this? This takes the fucking cake. This ASSASSINATION, this MURDER of ALL WE STAND FOR may be the single most traumatic experience of this entire campaign. There's not a single soldier that came back from that mission that doesn't have the shaking hands of a man that has been struck with da PTSD.
I won't let it be for nothing, though.
The TYCENADO has been built.
Just a little #Roleplay gamers, like #StrykerSquad comes out and salutes SKYRAIDER-91 as it's like dismantled by the engineers. The ship's carried them to missions and back safely for like almost a year now, and they're like sad and shit for it to go. But they wipe their tears and dust their boots you know, because the TYCENADO is like the new thing, dude. And it's gonna make sure this bullshit never happens again.
FUCK!!
And the Chrysalid's headed toward Tiresome, basically he puts on his tactical glasses and is like
"Heh...I always was a little TIRED, tahaaaAAAAGHHHHGHGHHGKH"
HrrDrr takes one look at the carnage.
The whole north squad was wiped by a grenade while trying to escort a civvie. Pine Tar's all staggering around, like shell-shocked and bleeding and shit.
And Tiresome's front has gone quiet.
Mondo manages to lead Pine Tar toward the ship with his voice. Basically the guy's like all scared and shit, he's like "DON'T LEAVE ME MAN DON'T LEAVE MEEEEE!"
Oh, god.
He's run out of energy.
Basically #Roleplay, Pine Tar's just like "GUYS WAIT MAN, I CAN'T MOVE DUDE, I'M TOO TIRED DUDE"
Problem is, we can't spend another turn for him. The chrysalids and Tiresome's corpse are too close, they'd reach us in one turn.
HrrDrr like tells him this.
And he's like "No dude no THAT'S FUCKED UP DUDE, PLEEEEEASE"
He was one tile away from the evac zone.
God damn it, that's FUCKED UP.
Nobody talks heading back from this op.
We've all seen a lot of FUCKED UP things throughout the course of this war. Every time we thought the tangos couldn't FUCK THINGS UP more they one-upped their last move. But this? This takes the fucking cake. This ASSASSINATION, this MURDER of ALL WE STAND FOR may be the single most traumatic experience of this entire campaign. There's not a single soldier that came back from that mission that doesn't have the shaking hands of a man that has been struck with da PTSD.
I won't let it be for nothing, though.
The TYCENADO has been built.
Just a little #Roleplay gamers, like #StrykerSquad comes out and salutes SKYRAIDER-91 as it's like dismantled by the engineers. The ship's carried them to missions and back safely for like almost a year now, and they're like sad and shit for it to go. But they wipe their tears and dust their boots you know, because the TYCENADO is like the new thing, dude. And it's gonna make sure this bullshit never happens again.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Basically Pine Tar's death
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
You know what it is, #Roleplay dude. Basically some new faces are loading up with Mythos, Bung, CatParty and Surtur, who's finally recovered. A couple of em are operators from the Liberal Crime Squad, who's been basically owning the tangos in America in the memory of Sergeant Fapcup.
Mustafa's all like "Huh, like, this is a pretty non-conservative base dude, it's like chill basically."
And CatParty's just like "Chyeah dude"
So Mustafa goes like "So are we heading out?"
And CatParty's like "Yeah..."
"We're all heading out."
HEADING OUT FOR THE
TYCENADOOOOOOOOO
YEAHHHHHHHHH!!
FUCK yeah, dude, FUCK YEAH! That was a large ship motherfucker, we took it down EASY!
LET'S FINISH THE FIIIIIGHT!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT:
FUCK yeah dude, we got some #Squads with us today, all coded by armor type. A Squad bursts out the TYCENADO like fucking tactical bosses dude, headed straight for this house shit right there.
Meanwhile B Squad heads down this way. C Squad, D Squad and the #StrykerSquad-#LCS team line up to drop down next turn.
Everyone wathes for tangos tactically. If even one grenade comes in this could be FUBAR fast.
Thankfully nobody attacks. There's a tango with a small launcher up there, though. Time to get tactical gamers, and like finish the fight basically.
A Squad takes the guy out and keeps moving, but some idiot's missed rocket catches them in a burst of flames. Hopefully they can parkour the fire off before it gets fatal.
B and C Squads aren't even fazed though, they know their squadmates are like tactical and shit basically. A little TACTICAL TAG TEAM, TAHAAA, GREEDY FIREMAN scouts out the garage near the LZ...
And The Dude takes out the tango, man.
The wheels are turning now. A Squad keeps shaking the fire and moving around the ship while the B Squad - C Squad group clears the garage and watches the UFO doors. D Squad unloads and #LiberalStrykerSquad line up to drop.
ADamnedDjinn has panicked for some reason, though.
Burned Man turns around, and like #Roleplay dude, he's like "Heh, like, what's wrong son?" And he like basically puts the love of GodStryker into the rookie, 'cause he's like a pastor-soldier of the battlefield basically. He'll be fine by next turn, I'm sure.
Shit, a flanker!
And the fuck is ADamnedDjinn doing? Burned Man's like "Uh son, like, Stryker Jesus loves you dude, what--"
THE FUCK?!
Mythos guns the traitor down and like, #Roleplay basically, she's like "GET OFF THE SHIP HOLY SHIT [PANICKS INTERNALLY]"
The elites hurry to get some distance between each other. Nobody wants to be a risk to the others if whatever happened to Djinn happens to them. Mythos keeps an eye on the LCS soldiers, who quickly drop their guns just in case.
B, C and D Squads all rush for the UFO doors. Whatever just happened was because of those FUCKING tangos, I know it! This is a CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATION, dudes--if we're not quick, we may become just as much a threat to each other as the tangos are.
FUCK yeah dude, we got some #Squads with us today, all coded by armor type. A Squad bursts out the TYCENADO like fucking tactical bosses dude, headed straight for this house shit right there.
Meanwhile B Squad heads down this way. C Squad, D Squad and the #StrykerSquad-#LCS team line up to drop down next turn.
Everyone wathes for tangos tactically. If even one grenade comes in this could be FUBAR fast.
Thankfully nobody attacks. There's a tango with a small launcher up there, though. Time to get tactical gamers, and like finish the fight basically.
A Squad takes the guy out and keeps moving, but some idiot's missed rocket catches them in a burst of flames. Hopefully they can parkour the fire off before it gets fatal.
B and C Squads aren't even fazed though, they know their squadmates are like tactical and shit basically. A little TACTICAL TAG TEAM, TAHAAA, GREEDY FIREMAN scouts out the garage near the LZ...
And The Dude takes out the tango, man.
The wheels are turning now. A Squad keeps shaking the fire and moving around the ship while the B Squad - C Squad group clears the garage and watches the UFO doors. D Squad unloads and #LiberalStrykerSquad line up to drop.
ADamnedDjinn has panicked for some reason, though.
Burned Man turns around, and like #Roleplay dude, he's like "Heh, like, what's wrong son?" And he like basically puts the love of GodStryker into the rookie, 'cause he's like a pastor-soldier of the battlefield basically. He'll be fine by next turn, I'm sure.
Shit, a flanker!
And the fuck is ADamnedDjinn doing? Burned Man's like "Uh son, like, Stryker Jesus loves you dude, what--"
THE FUCK?!
Mythos guns the traitor down and like, #Roleplay basically, she's like "GET OFF THE SHIP HOLY SHIT [PANICKS INTERNALLY]"
The elites hurry to get some distance between each other. Nobody wants to be a risk to the others if whatever happened to Djinn happens to them. Mythos keeps an eye on the LCS soldiers, who quickly drop their guns just in case.
B, C and D Squads all rush for the UFO doors. Whatever just happened was because of those FUCKING tangos, I know it! This is a CRUCIAL DANGER SITUATION, dudes--if we're not quick, we may become just as much a threat to each other as the tangos are.
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
After a long and troubled life, Joshua Graham finally found rest in X-com. In the end, his unswerving preaching had accomplished what the tangos' finest sharpshooters and Tavern's commands could not. The X-com Muhreens took comfort in the belief that their brother's soul would again dwell in the Tycenado at the end of days.
Anyway it wasn't your fault Commander you finish this fight without me.
Anyway it wasn't your fault Commander you finish this fight without me.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONTINUED:
Bolts start flying past A Squad from the building. Nothing hits though, we're still good.
Shit, the other squads are taking fire too! They can't stop now though, Surtur and Objection were both hit by these FUCKED UP HAARP rays last turn. We need this thing cleared like yesterday, dude!
As B, C and D Squads start breaching Surtur and CatParty drop their most dangerous gear. Basically like they know this HAARP ray shit is dangerous business--they're not gonna risk shooting their own in the back.
Meanwhile, A Squad keeps up the fight on the north side of the UFO. They've finally shaken the fire off and are right back into keeping the tangos pinned--
Fuck! The tango grenades' range is ridiculous!
Dammit corg don't panic now, you're too tactical for this shit!
C and D Squads have their feet firmly in the door now though, panic or no panic we're making progress. Leonid from B Squad's basically like shouting orders and shit while his squadmates cover the outside.
And there's a lot to cover, dude. The fuckers keep popping up everywhere along this front.
B Squad's pumped this store down here with three large rockets and tangos are still coming out of the corners.
Another A Squad member goes down--I think that may be the last one. Shit's FUBAR on this front dude, that's FUCKED UP. Surtur starts wrapping around to see what's going on.
Meanwhile, Opulent parkours a bolt...
And takes out the tango in the store. Not before it kills one of their own, though
Surtur takes out the fucker that wrecked A Squad while the others continue their objectives. Heh, like, chalk another vengeance up for #StrykerSquad basically. Some more souls put to rest...but some more tags for them to wear on missions, as well
Finally the outside's looking quiet. The Squads push up through the UFO, finding some more FUCKED UP things along the way. These are just rookies too, so like they're not all tactically hardened yet. They'll have some troubled sleep tonight if they make it back to base...
On the east side, CopyPaste bites off a little more than he can chew. There's a tango standing right on top of the lift, and he can't reach it. He can't just shoot upwards at it either--the team has specific orders that we want the bastard in charge alive, so like he can't take any risks basically.
Following orders ends up being the last thing he does
Bolts start flying past A Squad from the building. Nothing hits though, we're still good.
Shit, the other squads are taking fire too! They can't stop now though, Surtur and Objection were both hit by these FUCKED UP HAARP rays last turn. We need this thing cleared like yesterday, dude!
As B, C and D Squads start breaching Surtur and CatParty drop their most dangerous gear. Basically like they know this HAARP ray shit is dangerous business--they're not gonna risk shooting their own in the back.
Meanwhile, A Squad keeps up the fight on the north side of the UFO. They've finally shaken the fire off and are right back into keeping the tangos pinned--
Fuck! The tango grenades' range is ridiculous!
Dammit corg don't panic now, you're too tactical for this shit!
C and D Squads have their feet firmly in the door now though, panic or no panic we're making progress. Leonid from B Squad's basically like shouting orders and shit while his squadmates cover the outside.
And there's a lot to cover, dude. The fuckers keep popping up everywhere along this front.
B Squad's pumped this store down here with three large rockets and tangos are still coming out of the corners.
Another A Squad member goes down--I think that may be the last one. Shit's FUBAR on this front dude, that's FUCKED UP. Surtur starts wrapping around to see what's going on.
Meanwhile, Opulent parkours a bolt...
And takes out the tango in the store. Not before it kills one of their own, though
Surtur takes out the fucker that wrecked A Squad while the others continue their objectives. Heh, like, chalk another vengeance up for #StrykerSquad basically. Some more souls put to rest...but some more tags for them to wear on missions, as well
Finally the outside's looking quiet. The Squads push up through the UFO, finding some more FUCKED UP things along the way. These are just rookies too, so like they're not all tactically hardened yet. They'll have some troubled sleep tonight if they make it back to base...
On the east side, CopyPaste bites off a little more than he can chew. There's a tango standing right on top of the lift, and he can't reach it. He can't just shoot upwards at it either--the team has specific orders that we want the bastard in charge alive, so like he can't take any risks basically.
Following orders ends up being the last thing he does
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION:
ChuckSlaughter takes the tango down nonlethally and The Dude moves up to the final floor. Time to finish the fight, and fast--from downstairs GREEDY FIREMAN was heard screaming, and it sounded like the tell-tale sounds of someone turning gay from HAARP rays.
Speak of the devil...Bonzi Buddy finds him outside and takes him down as nonlethally as possible. Bung starts rushing toward the scene with tactical medikit of the battlefield in hand.
Aw, shit.
Bung has to put down the HAARP-poisoned soldier. This is FUCKED UP dude, we shouldn't have to fight our own like this!
Meanwhile, The Dude and ChuckSlaughter burst in like TAHAAAAAA
THERE HE IS DUDE! ChuckSlaughter tosses his stun rod to The Dude, he knows what he has to do!
The Dude finishes the fight but that's not the last one!
Leo and Cmcki reach the top floor to help with the search. We're so close dude, please don't let there be bullshit this close to completion...
Oh thank Stryker.
WOW IT DIDN'T WORK
Leo drops the stun rod and gets out of the way dude, basically it's all on Cmcki now!
Cmcki finishes the fiiiiiiiiight!!!!1111!!1
FUCK yeah dude, that's what I call a FUCKING #Comeback man. This was the first large UFO we've ever shot down, and we cleared it like fucking GODS man, FUCKING STRYKER-GODS. We lost a good number but in those losses we were able to see the other side of the TYCENADO's superiority--not only does it fucking murder at air combat, but its high troop capacity means losing 10 guys won't mean the op is crippled anymore. Overall this was a great day dude, a GREAT day for mankind and the Muhreens, dude.
After the mission comes three very well-deserved promotions in #StrykerSquad. CatParty has become a Colonel, and as such is the highest-ranking officer the force has ever had. Bung's finally a sergeant, meaning all of #StrykerSquad is officers now. And perhaps the best promotion is Mythos being raised to Captain. She's been sent in more times than anyone on the base now, and I'm proud that she's finally getting some respect from the higher-ups. Press one for the corg gamers, for her making it from a scrub that couldn't shoot shit to one of the most tactical motherfuckers on the base.
And now for medals. There were a lot of purple hearts and a lot of black crosses given out today as a result of all the friendly fire the tangos caused with their HAARP rays, and both CatParty and Surtur earned their second Order of Earth pins for their proficiency at taking out the tangos. Overall fucking great job gamers, FUCKING great job.
You know what they say gamers, like heh, like, the light's like bright when the dawn and night or some shit. Basically we've been through the fires dude, but even though a lot of us have fallen a lot have stuck through it and like become the dream. I'm not saying it's over 'cause it isn't--this was only like a first step, basically. But it's a fucking huge step man, and it's one with a lot of good vibes behind it. This army's future is like a video game, basically. Hell no, but we're still going to win.
The nerds will start interrogating the head tango immediately, dudes. It's time to start finishing this fight.
ChuckSlaughter takes the tango down nonlethally and The Dude moves up to the final floor. Time to finish the fight, and fast--from downstairs GREEDY FIREMAN was heard screaming, and it sounded like the tell-tale sounds of someone turning gay from HAARP rays.
Speak of the devil...Bonzi Buddy finds him outside and takes him down as nonlethally as possible. Bung starts rushing toward the scene with tactical medikit of the battlefield in hand.
Aw, shit.
Bung has to put down the HAARP-poisoned soldier. This is FUCKED UP dude, we shouldn't have to fight our own like this!
Meanwhile, The Dude and ChuckSlaughter burst in like TAHAAAAAA
THERE HE IS DUDE! ChuckSlaughter tosses his stun rod to The Dude, he knows what he has to do!
The Dude finishes the fight but that's not the last one!
Leo and Cmcki reach the top floor to help with the search. We're so close dude, please don't let there be bullshit this close to completion...
Oh thank Stryker.
WOW IT DIDN'T WORK
Leo drops the stun rod and gets out of the way dude, basically it's all on Cmcki now!
Cmcki finishes the fiiiiiiiiight!!!!1111!!1
FUCK yeah dude, that's what I call a FUCKING #Comeback man. This was the first large UFO we've ever shot down, and we cleared it like fucking GODS man, FUCKING STRYKER-GODS. We lost a good number but in those losses we were able to see the other side of the TYCENADO's superiority--not only does it fucking murder at air combat, but its high troop capacity means losing 10 guys won't mean the op is crippled anymore. Overall this was a great day dude, a GREAT day for mankind and the Muhreens, dude.
After the mission comes three very well-deserved promotions in #StrykerSquad. CatParty has become a Colonel, and as such is the highest-ranking officer the force has ever had. Bung's finally a sergeant, meaning all of #StrykerSquad is officers now. And perhaps the best promotion is Mythos being raised to Captain. She's been sent in more times than anyone on the base now, and I'm proud that she's finally getting some respect from the higher-ups. Press one for the corg gamers, for her making it from a scrub that couldn't shoot shit to one of the most tactical motherfuckers on the base.
And now for medals. There were a lot of purple hearts and a lot of black crosses given out today as a result of all the friendly fire the tangos caused with their HAARP rays, and both CatParty and Surtur earned their second Order of Earth pins for their proficiency at taking out the tangos. Overall fucking great job gamers, FUCKING great job.
You know what they say gamers, like heh, like, the light's like bright when the dawn and night or some shit. Basically we've been through the fires dude, but even though a lot of us have fallen a lot have stuck through it and like become the dream. I'm not saying it's over 'cause it isn't--this was only like a first step, basically. But it's a fucking huge step man, and it's one with a lot of good vibes behind it. This army's future is like a video game, basically. Hell no, but we're still going to win.
The nerds will start interrogating the head tango immediately, dudes. It's time to start finishing this fight.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
SEPTEMBER 20, 1999
The nerds have been doing great work, gamers. With the ammo researched, the Blaster Launcher has joined the crew of the TYCENADO's arsenal.
Meanwhile, interrogating the head tango didn't yield intel on the base but the nerds have an interesting idea in mind. Apparently whatever it is they did to us on that mission, the nerds are planning to let us do to them...
SEPTEMBER 25, 1999
FUCK yeah dudes, their hunch was right. We'll begin construction on what the nerds need immediately, and after that #LiberalStrykerSquad will be the first ones in there. Time to see if like there's more to their survival so far than meets the eye, essentially.
Another month over gamers, and shit's looking up. This war just may be over by the summer of next year.
OCTOBER 1, 1999
WOW OR MAYBE NOT, FUDCK YOU TANGOS
Another FUCKING tango base, ON AMERICAN FUDCKING SOIL dude. Even when they're getting their asses kicked the tangos act like arrogant fucks man, this is unrealistic. The engies start work on 10 power suits--it's not enough to outfit the whole TYCENADO, but it'll definitely armor a squad or two. With the tight tactical corners of tango bases I might not take a full 26-man team anyway, so it's fine, I guess.
OCTOBER 2, 1999
Another day, another crash, another #Win, okay. Not a single death this time--tactical improvement, dude...
And Mondo, who was leading the squad, has been promoted to Captain. With all these promotions and shit we may actually induct a few new members into #StrykerSquad--it'll be the first addition to the sacred team since the first base assault if we do. Basically like making #History right here gamers, press 1 for changing times.
Oh damn, with stats like that he's gotta get in it. Welcome to the most tactical force on Earth basically Mondo, basically and/or believe that.
OCTOBER 4, 1999
They're coming pretty consistently now but we're wrecking them every time. We lost a squad of grunts to bad placement but overall it was another successful mission. Soldiers like Leonid and Opulent are getting a lot of extra experience from these almost-daily UFO strikes--the survivors of this hard rotation of duties will be like a tactical and veteran force by the time we go after the base.
Another day ends gamers and we're pushing our advantage hard, dude. The tangos haven't had one break for this first week, and with a little luck they won't have any next week either. By October 30 we'll have tactical boots in that ghey little base of theirs, okay, and when we're in there dude, like, you know we won't be like bringing like #GamerFuel or something in there you know (just a little #Snack Humor there gamers, raising morale and shit). We'll be packing heat.
The nerds have been doing great work, gamers. With the ammo researched, the Blaster Launcher has joined the crew of the TYCENADO's arsenal.
Meanwhile, interrogating the head tango didn't yield intel on the base but the nerds have an interesting idea in mind. Apparently whatever it is they did to us on that mission, the nerds are planning to let us do to them...
SEPTEMBER 25, 1999
FUCK yeah dudes, their hunch was right. We'll begin construction on what the nerds need immediately, and after that #LiberalStrykerSquad will be the first ones in there. Time to see if like there's more to their survival so far than meets the eye, essentially.
Another month over gamers, and shit's looking up. This war just may be over by the summer of next year.
OCTOBER 1, 1999
WOW OR MAYBE NOT, FUDCK YOU TANGOS
Another FUCKING tango base, ON AMERICAN FUDCKING SOIL dude. Even when they're getting their asses kicked the tangos act like arrogant fucks man, this is unrealistic. The engies start work on 10 power suits--it's not enough to outfit the whole TYCENADO, but it'll definitely armor a squad or two. With the tight tactical corners of tango bases I might not take a full 26-man team anyway, so it's fine, I guess.
OCTOBER 2, 1999
Another day, another crash, another #Win, okay. Not a single death this time--tactical improvement, dude...
And Mondo, who was leading the squad, has been promoted to Captain. With all these promotions and shit we may actually induct a few new members into #StrykerSquad--it'll be the first addition to the sacred team since the first base assault if we do. Basically like making #History right here gamers, press 1 for changing times.
Oh damn, with stats like that he's gotta get in it. Welcome to the most tactical force on Earth basically Mondo, basically and/or believe that.
OCTOBER 4, 1999
They're coming pretty consistently now but we're wrecking them every time. We lost a squad of grunts to bad placement but overall it was another successful mission. Soldiers like Leonid and Opulent are getting a lot of extra experience from these almost-daily UFO strikes--the survivors of this hard rotation of duties will be like a tactical and veteran force by the time we go after the base.
Another day ends gamers and we're pushing our advantage hard, dude. The tangos haven't had one break for this first week, and with a little luck they won't have any next week either. By October 30 we'll have tactical boots in that ghey little base of theirs, okay, and when we're in there dude, like, you know we won't be like bringing like #GamerFuel or something in there you know (just a little #Snack Humor there gamers, raising morale and shit). We'll be packing heat.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
OCTOBER 30, 1999
It's time, gamers. We have a master strategy okay, let's put it to work!
COMBAT REPORT:
Hunger basically is like shouting orders to the hovertank to head down first. It's one of our newest invention, a tank that uses fusion rockets for ammo. We'll see how tactical they are compared to other explosives in a moment...
Sooner than I expected, looks like.
FUCK yeah dude, more powerful than I'd imagined, and guidable too! This is some tactical shit dude, and a great way to kick this op off.
Soldiers tactically drop down to get their first foothold, with Fapcup's Liberal Crime Squad soldiers at the head with some beautiful new red power suits. Among them's a familiar face--HrrDrr was persuaded from his conservative ways by Mustafa, and is now 100% a tactical LCS member on top of being a tactical soldier of the battlefield.
Or, was one
Mondo's had enough of this betrayal shit dude. He's holding a brand new psi-amp gamers, and he's gonna use it to fucking save HrrDrr or die trying basically!
The fuck?! It's not working!
FUCK, my whole plan needed those fudcking psi-amps to work! Just as fast as they burst out the team retreats.
Mondo freezes up almost at the lift. I didn't catch if he panicked or if he was under alien control. Either way, he's one z-level short of safety.
Oh god, not again. Pine Tar's death is like right before my eyes and shit gamers, this is FUCKED UP.
I don't wanna desert him dude, I really don't, but we have too many others at risk right now--all of #StrykerSquad is here, both agents of #LCS are here, and they're all crammed in a small platform with two soldiers with blaster launchers. We can't risk them getting mind controlled, we just can't!
Oh god oh god oh god....I'm fucking holding the trigger to his life dude, like life and death shit dude, Pine Tar's like staring at me but I gotta finish the fight okay I HAVE to win this okay I HAVE TO
*Psheewwwwwwww*
NOVEMBER 1, 1999
The suits are happy, gamers. Basically they respect the work we put in and shit, and they're glad there was only one death on that failed base attack.
But there wasn't just one, okay.
Off the record or not there's three new names on the memorial, not just one. I'm starting to wonder how many soldiers I'll murder for the greater good before this war's done
It's time, gamers. We have a master strategy okay, let's put it to work!
COMBAT REPORT:
Hunger basically is like shouting orders to the hovertank to head down first. It's one of our newest invention, a tank that uses fusion rockets for ammo. We'll see how tactical they are compared to other explosives in a moment...
Sooner than I expected, looks like.
FUCK yeah dude, more powerful than I'd imagined, and guidable too! This is some tactical shit dude, and a great way to kick this op off.
Soldiers tactically drop down to get their first foothold, with Fapcup's Liberal Crime Squad soldiers at the head with some beautiful new red power suits. Among them's a familiar face--HrrDrr was persuaded from his conservative ways by Mustafa, and is now 100% a tactical LCS member on top of being a tactical soldier of the battlefield.
Or, was one
Mondo's had enough of this betrayal shit dude. He's holding a brand new psi-amp gamers, and he's gonna use it to fucking save HrrDrr or die trying basically!
The fuck?! It's not working!
FUCK, my whole plan needed those fudcking psi-amps to work! Just as fast as they burst out the team retreats.
Mondo freezes up almost at the lift. I didn't catch if he panicked or if he was under alien control. Either way, he's one z-level short of safety.
Oh god, not again. Pine Tar's death is like right before my eyes and shit gamers, this is FUCKED UP.
I don't wanna desert him dude, I really don't, but we have too many others at risk right now--all of #StrykerSquad is here, both agents of #LCS are here, and they're all crammed in a small platform with two soldiers with blaster launchers. We can't risk them getting mind controlled, we just can't!
Oh god oh god oh god....I'm fucking holding the trigger to his life dude, like life and death shit dude, Pine Tar's like staring at me but I gotta finish the fight okay I HAVE to win this okay I HAVE TO
*Psheewwwwwwww*
NOVEMBER 1, 1999
The suits are happy, gamers. Basically they respect the work we put in and shit, and they're glad there was only one death on that failed base attack.
But there wasn't just one, okay.
Off the record or not there's three new names on the memorial, not just one. I'm starting to wonder how many soldiers I'll murder for the greater good before this war's done