OpenXcom: The Queaky Defense

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PRESS ONE IF WE WILL BE THE DREAM AND END THIS THREAT GAMERS


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You killed Garmfield already? What the fuccckkkk!
 
COMBAT REPORT CONLUSION
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The others put the tangos down fast but the damage is done...dammit! :(

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Jenkins and A-Stump will check for more tangos up that lift while someone else checks another one.

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Surtur's check finds nothing.... The main force will be moving back to the east then, while Jenkins and A-Stump do their check.

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Hello...where does this lead?

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Well this looks important.

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Shit, another one! I can't catch a break man, I'm starting to feel the fatigue of hardcore tactics...

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Shit!

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Jenkins just exchanged fire with that floater like a tactical GOD. I knew he was the right pick for this mission.

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And now Richard stunned the other one. Good, good...I can't get careless now. The guys with boots on the ground are way more tired than me sitting like a lazy-eye in this command chair, I owe them the best orders I can give!

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Jackpot. This has to be the last area to clean.

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Shit, this is it! this is it, man, THIS IS IT, FINISH THE FIGHT!!

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FINISH THE FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!

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YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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It's over, finally! Surtur earned the hell out of this promotion, saving almost as many fuck-ups as Strewth has.

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Medals for everyone, this is a victory that nobody will be forgetting soon! Now to head home, relax, and celebrate--

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WOOOOOOOOW.....
 
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WOW, man, WOW this is UNREALISTIC. How am I supposed to pull off a terror mission with almost half my assault team dead...

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And half the guys that made it back wounded?! There's no vet around to lead now, nobody but...but.....

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NONONONONONONONO NOT HAPPENING

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NOPE I SKIPPED IT
 
MAY 3, 1999
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The successful base assault outweighed the skipped terror mission by far. everyone raised their funding, and that plus the money we earned from sales gave us a lot of extra cash to play with. The base has become more tactical than ever, basically, and that is what I believe.

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The survivors of Stryker Squad have almost all recovered, but Strewth and A-Stump will be laid up for some more time. Hopefully things will keep running smoothly and they won't get out of the infirmary to find a squadmate's dead--

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SHIT WHAT

COMBAT REPORT
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WOW, they're actually attacking my base! WOW! Half my soldiers are new recruits, the only ones with weapons are from Stryker Squad and the armory's spread around upstairs! I guess all I can do is have Mythos and Jenkins try to hold this chokepoint while the others sprint for weapons.

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Wow this is FUCKED UP, they come after my base and now they're attacking with HAARP RAYS?

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I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN OKAY, the Stryker Squad can't be gay, Stryker wasn't gay! Jenkins and the others push up toward the hangar--

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Yikes so basically Jenkins is like "OH, SHIT"

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But wait, RichardCranium's here, heh, and he's brought like his trademark shottie to dance this dance, tahaaa!

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Hell yeah! Jenkins is basically like "Dude, like thanks, heh"
But RichardCranium's like tactical and chill by this point so he just like puts on his like sunglasses, you know, and he's like "TAHAAAA--"

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Nooooooooooo!!! (:_(

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Surtur goes off the handle at the mother fucker who killed Jenkins! :cry:

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Okay the second wave's up to the breach, they will be the dream and stop this madness.

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Damn, one of the spinning FUCKED UP ones, with its faggot-ass tango-ass frisbee-ass. They shoot straight and they blow up when they die...we have o kill it fast.


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Hell yeah, Glaive's here!

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And the shot did nothing :surprised:

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Ooh, Kagayaki's become pretty tactical too, so he's all like "heh...heh, nice shot kid, just need a BIGGER CALIBER, TAHAAA"

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Shit, no effect again!

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C'mon Melchett, be the dream...

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Dammit :c
 
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION
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Shit, Fapcup got hit :cry:

Kagayaki cleaned it up next turn, though. Base saved. (:_(

This has been a personal assassination of all of our souls. We lost some damn good Muhreens today.

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For his attempt on the FUCKED UP disc, Glaive's jumped straight to sergeant in the promotions. If anyone's tactical enough to replace Fapcup it's him.

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Medals, medals medals...if anyone makes it out of here they'll have some stories to tell, especially Kagayaki.

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For now the base is safe, but those fuckers know where we live now...this is FUCKED UP, dude. How long until the tangos try again? This assassination of our lifestyle won't go unpunished, gamers. We WILL get even. We WILL find out who the FUCK'S behind this! We WILL finish this fight!
 
MAY 10, 1999
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Man, this is FUCKED UP. Not even two weeks since that attack on our souls the tangos are going after the civvies again. I can't risk the last of Stryker Squad on this bullshit--our new sergeant's leading a team of rookies to handle it.

COMBAT REPORT
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Wow, one of the floater faggots is right outside the skyraider. Fun stuff...

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Compy takes a lot of fire getting off the ramp, but since he's basically a parkour expert he avoids them all. He doesn't have enough time to crouch though--that may be a problem :surprised:

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Chimpchan guns down the first tango and drops off the ramp--right in front of another one, fuck!

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Okay, Melchett handled that one, we're still fine, okay.

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The screams are starting up and a few of my guys are with them :cry: Compy and Melchett get shot from the shadows during the enemy's turn.

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I leave Glaive and Katsu in the ship with the engine running. We've already done two huge ops, if this is FUBAR I'm not gonna do anything risky.

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Okay Rio's down too, FUDCK this mission!

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wow, things have just been one FUCKED UP thing after another. We can't keep doing this shit every month. I'm sinking a lot of this extra cash into researchers--we need a larger edge or this'll get FUBAR if there ever was one.
 
MAY 15, 1999
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Thank god, a couple days of rest. Now I have time to be like economically tactical and shit.

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There's not enough of anything around here...the tangos are running around slotting civvies and disrespecting our base, and we haven't even researched a better interceptor yet. I got all this money, so I'm gonna basically use it to like deck out the base with sick tactical addons and shit. More scientists, more engineers, MO BITCHEZ, TAHAAAA!!1 Just a little #GamerHumor there guys, gotta try and keep your spirits up during tough times.

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There's a few new faces among the guys, and there'll be a lot more in a few days when the next draft occurs. Maybe then I'll be able to get some good rotation of vets and rookies doing missions.

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And speaking of veterans...it just occurred to me that Mythos is still alive. I didn't realize it but that makes her the longest-living X-Com Muhreen to date--even the badasses like Strewth have only been around for two or three missions. The corg's been around since the start, racking up a count of 7 missions and 3 kills so far and getting hella medals. I might try a it harder to keep her safe--I respect our nation's veterans, okay, and like that's basically my like philosophy belief.

MAY 18, 1999
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The new living spaces are done, time to get like all the scientists and shit in here. They are gonna fuel the fight so we can finish it, basically.

MAY 19, 1999
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Those nerds fucking DELIVER.

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FUCK yeah gamers, this is what I was talking about when I said we needed an edge! This is SICK gamers, like everybody gets like colored super-armor, and since I got so much cash we can start production right away! This is just the shit we needed, the tangos are gonna have a little surprise when they try fucking with the civvies again.

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And they're already working on making some sick and tactical new ships dude, these guys are fucking AWESOME.

MAY 26, 1999
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Ooh, another terror mission, huh?

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Well SURPRISE, BITCH #Tavved #About2GoOff
 
Reading through this thread makes me wonder what Jace'd be like playing XCOM: Enemy Unknown (I'd imagine that X-Com: UFO Defense would be a bit too complex for him). I mean, odds are he'd only manage one or two missions before quitting because his entire squad got wiped because he didn't understand how cover worked or didn't know what overwatch was but it'd still be funny to see him panic over Stryker getting shot at or freaking out at the implication that some of his troops are Muslim.

Anyway, sign me up for meatshield duty please.
 
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BOOM BITCH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT #DontFuckWithUs #Tavved

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But we still lost a couple guys... (:_(

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And just like that we have almost no replacements to rotate combat duties with again. Man, this is FUCKED UP, gay and unrealistic beyond belief. We get new faces for a couple missions then lose them, the only ones that have stuck around have been elite soldiers of the battlefield like Strewth, Kagayaki and Mythos.

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At least we haven't lost the nerds or anything. Those guys are tactical as FUCK, they're finding out so much sick new stuff. Maybe soon they'll figure out how we can stop the tangos once and for all.

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Now to just sit back and watch the blips float back and forth. The nerds are good but they're not done yet--we still can't take on the bigger tango ships. So we gotta just watch them fly all around the place like the earth's basically their BITCH, okay, it's FUCKED UP.

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Dammit, they're everywhere. This has gotta change soon man, this is SO FUCKED UP, man.

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Huh, at least the bigwigs are happy, you know, like they just like, line their pockets and our pockets you know, but like they don't know what it's like. Like, they dunno like the TRUE WAR, you know like basically they're just like civvies that don't know shit until the tangos come knocking on their town door basically, like "HELLO BITCH," you know. Whatever man, like I'll take the cash but like, grudgingly you know, like that's just some true #Roleplay right there gamers.

Either way things have gotta change faster. If they keep like picking up speed every month like they have been, we'll be fucked before the year's up.
 
Is the lack of update due to you having killed everyone again?
 
Is the lack of update due to you having killed everyone again?

He's busy justifying his budget without revealing the real truth- that this whole war is just a :ruse: designed to build the military-industrial complex up to levels that will allow the world's major governments to quash any dissent and take away all of our civil liberties.
 
Is the lack of update due to you having killed everyone again?
He's busy justifying his budget without revealing the real truth- that this whole war is just a :ruse: designed to build the military-industrial complex up to levels that will allow the world's major governments to quash any dissent and take away all of our civil liberties.
FUDCK YOU BOTH okay, even tactical commanders have homework okay, ain't all tactics and strats we gotta do other shit
 
JUNE 4, 1999
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Geeze this is FUCKED UP. They're all over the place all the time, FUCK.

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WOOOOOOW! They landed right outside the FUCKING base! THIS IS FUCKED UP!

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Okay, okay, FUCK this okay, I don't even care that they're fucking huge. I will NOT let this ASSASSINATION OF OUR MORALS continue to happen. We WILL finish the fight and we WILL end this threat okay, we are getting on that skyraider and we are killing these motherfuckers--

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WOOOOOW and then they just left.

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Joke's on them though. Just you wait, okay, the nerds are done working... Just a couple of days and we'll have our equalizer okay, just a little time and this shit is gonna be so much better.

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Sooooooo much better....

Okay gamers I got school and shit so if I don't update it's not because errybody's dead (probably), stay frosty
 
JULY 11, 1999
The comm silence has been lifted gamers and it couldn't be at a worse time.
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The fuckers dug in again!


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Dammit, I'm don't wanna lose #StrykerSquad in another crazy mission but there's no way a bunch of rookies could storm a base by themselves...I hope Kagayaki and Surtur's luck can hold out just one more time...

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Before these 14 tactical soldiers of the battlefield head out they, like, have a little #Roleplay basically, just sorta looking at the memorial. Kagayaki's all like, "Huh, we've passed by here, like, so many times...maybe this time, you know, maybe now we'll be on it, dude."
And then Surtur's all like "Bro! Strewth said we gotta live dude, so like check your corners and shit 'cause we're getting back okay man, and that's basically and/or what I believe!"

Stryker-speed, you tactical motherfuckers.

COMBAT REPORT:
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Back in tango-town, huh. Kagayaki's small squad lands in the leftmost hangar and basically, just some #Roleplay here, he like clicks his mic and shit and is like "Okay boys. Let's play for keeps."

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And Surtur basically like replies atwith the main force, kinda like "Hell yeah man, finish the fiiiiight!" or basically something like that.

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Kagayaki's squad drops first--right into trouble, shit!
Kag's basically like "Fuck, the big FUCKED UP green faggots are down here!" and like the rookies are all nervous and shit but they start dropping anyway.

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Oh wow, the weapon's no good on this faggot!

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His battlefield senses of the battlefield warned him of his friend's problem, so Surtur breaks off with a couple guys to reinforce the others. Come on man, your parkour has got to be enough!

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It's charging for Kagayaki?! The rookies don't get reaction shots off in time, there's fire coming from all sides and this faggot's running straight for the korporal!

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KAGAYAKI FINISHES THE FIIIIIIIIGHT!!

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Thank god, he's--SHIT!

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Frank drops the closest one but there's still more. Around the area the team breaks into their squads, with extra fighters coming to help out on this front. Jesus this is FUCKED UP dude, the bullets are flying by Kagayaki like fucking Doritos dude, big and crackly and trying to reach his mouth, man. We're on like a tactical knife's edge dude, one wrong step and this shit is gonna get FUBAR fast.
 
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