- Joined
- Feb 4, 2020
The modern Protestant is that kid who does half-hearted Schwarzenegger impressions. Trying to be part of something, but too disingenuous to commit to faith, leading to luke-warm results. Indeed, in his quest to be special and unique, the Protestant has shat out more than 45,000 denominations, each claiming to be the "true" interpretation of scripture. By repeatedly yelling the phrase SOLA SCRIPTURA!! SOLA SCRIPTURA!! SOLA SCRIPTURA!!!!, The dimwitted protestant can switch effortlessly between Calvinism's black-pill of predestination, or believing Mark 16:17-18 literally and holding, angry, venomous snakes mid-service to prove God wouldn't let a snake bite them, with unfortunate results. (the snake did)
Depicted: A Pentecostal parishioner speaking in tongues (which has no actual meaning in Protestan'tism- the sounds mean God)
The Pro'tist is a cynical coward, free of Faith for he has solved the Sacred Mysteries. He knows there's no ACTUAL JESUS in the host, and so, The Eucharist, understood for centuries as the real presence of Christ, has been downgraded to a mere symbol in many Protestant traditions—just bread and juice, robbed of its transformative power.
Depicted: A high ranking Protestant priest pastor (school is hard) partakes in the Eucharist during his service (they have video games so its fun)
Confession, once a sacrament of reconciliation, has been all but abandoned, replaced by vague notions of personal prayer. This “me-and-Jesus” mentality diminishes the communal and mediatory aspects of faith, eroding the Church’s role as a spiritual body. Over time, this hyper-focus on personal interpretation and prayer creates a fragmented experience of faith, where accountability, structure, and shared worship take a backseat to what the Pro'tist feels like doing that day.
Baptism, once the initiation into a holy mystery, is now reduced in some circles to a public declaration or even optional ritual. This is why many Prots walk around with a "crusty ass" gait, as they were never cleansed by the sacrament, and instead treat it as a hollow ritual.
Please discuss here.
The Pro'tist is a cynical coward, free of Faith for he has solved the Sacred Mysteries. He knows there's no ACTUAL JESUS in the host, and so, The Eucharist, understood for centuries as the real presence of Christ, has been downgraded to a mere symbol in many Protestant traditions—just bread and juice, robbed of its transformative power.
Confession, once a sacrament of reconciliation, has been all but abandoned, replaced by vague notions of personal prayer. This “me-and-Jesus” mentality diminishes the communal and mediatory aspects of faith, eroding the Church’s role as a spiritual body. Over time, this hyper-focus on personal interpretation and prayer creates a fragmented experience of faith, where accountability, structure, and shared worship take a backseat to what the Pro'tist feels like doing that day.
Baptism, once the initiation into a holy mystery, is now reduced in some circles to a public declaration or even optional ritual. This is why many Prots walk around with a "crusty ass" gait, as they were never cleansed by the sacrament, and instead treat it as a hollow ritual.
Please discuss here.
