Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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Very very obscure lolcow, but Zonebbs has the joys that is "mygodchosenbride&i4lifefinally"

So, long story short, Zonebbs is a blind community with a lot of very strange people on there. Mere mention of the name among my close friends gets snickers and groans from the... er, eccentricity of the community. The community is known for having some weird folks on there, but this guy definitely qualifies.

Here's just a sample of their ramblings (and yes, the whole community makes fun of them):

An ABSOLUTELY TRUE CHRISTIAN is a TOTALLY IMPERFECT SINNER, such as MYSELF, whose ONLY SAVED by GOD'S PERFECT GRACE and COMPLETELY UNDESERVED MERCY that's FREELY GIVEN to ANY/ALL who will FREELY RECEIVE, JUST for SIMPLY ASKING, HUMBLY.

[...]

UNFORTUNATELY, I TRIED to copy my ENTIRE "FACEBOOK" bio HERE, and the LIMITED SPACE wouldn't let me do it, so PLEASE do me ONE SOLID: if you're on "FACEBOOK," send me a friend-request that I'll DEFINITELY CONFIRM, so that THEN, you DEFINITELY WILL get my COMPLETE PROFILE with my bio that I ONLY UPDATE whenever I do. WARNING: it's TOTALLY UNINHIBITED, NOT ONLY SEXUALLY, but in ANY/ALL OTHER AREAS that FULLY DESCRIBE WHO and HOW I DEFINITELY AM, and WHAT IT IS that I DEFINITELY WANT with WHOEVER GOD sends into MY LIFE to be the VERY WOMAN/WIFE for ME, for LIFE.

[...]
MESSAGE: If you're NOT a DNA-BIOLOGICALLY-PROOVEN FEMALE, I will ignore ALL QN'S/PM'S/E-MAIL from you, so DON'T EVEN WAS
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SURPRISINGLY (or MAYBE NOT), I'm in TOTAL AGREEMENT with ALL that've pointed out the SIMPLEST SOLUTION--JUST STOP POSTING RESPONSES to what I'm sharing on THIS topic, but the ONLY FLAW in THIS statement from YOUR end, is that although you DID say that the TOPIC, ITSELF, will go away, you MISERABLY FAIL to prepare yourselves to face the VERY ETERNAL FACT that GOD'S TRUTH, which TOTALLY TRANSENDS ALL TIME and SPACE, FOREVER REMAINS, ETERNALLY NON-CHANGING--no matter WHAT LOGIC-INFESTED BABBLE that you DARE ATTEMPT to IMPRESS with, you STILL have ONLY TWO ETERNAL ADDRESSES to choose from. The ONLY WISE CHOICE is ETERNAL LIFE, whereas, the ONLY FOOLISH CHOICE is ETERNAL DAMNATION--end of story. SEE YOU NEXT TOPIC!

[...]

FIRST, there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG, WHATSOEVER, with COPYING and PASTING from OTHER SITES, AS LONG as you're NOT MAKING a FINANCIAL PROFFIT of the COPIED MATERIAL, WITHOUT the EXPRESSED PERMISSION of the ORIGINAL OWNER of SAID MATERIAL; is or is this not true? SECOND, GOD'S HOLY WORD, as PERFECTLY INERRENT as HE, HIMSELF, is PERFECT, JUST as WE, OURSELVES, are IMPERFECT, ABSOLUTELY ERROR-PRONE, due to our CURSED SIN NATURE, MUST COME THROUGH as CLEARLY as HE has DIVINELY APPOINTED THOSE who have been PROOVEN to be ACCURATELY-ALIGNED with CAREFULLY/PRAYERFULLY CARRYING OUT HIS MESSAGE--THAT'S SOMETHING that I am ABSOLUTELY NOT QUALIFIED for, but I GLADLY/HUMBLY SUBMIT to ONLY THOSE SITES which ARE, and FULLY APPRECIATE being under THEIR TEACHING, which I SHARE with ANY/ALL, since ULTIMATELY, as I STILL CONTINUE to PROCLAIM, and WILL, FOREVERMORE, the VERY INEVITABLE FACT that it's OUR DECISION, ALONE, to either ACCEPT the VERY MESSAGE that the HOLY SPIRIT DRAWS US to the VERY INDESCRIBABLY-UNCONDITIONAL OPEN ARMS of the VERY ONE who ULTIMATELY PROOVED HIS LOVE on the VERY CROSS that VERY-WELL COULD'VE been OURS, INSTEAD, or continue to be SELF-SERVING WORSHIPPERS of LOGIC, POLITICAL-CORRECTNESS, and/or ALL OTHER SUCH EARTHLY (ONLY) VALUE, since THIS is as GOOD as it'll EVER get, before showing its TRUE NATURE as being ETERNAL ILK.

[...]

QUESTION: in response, ESPECIALLY to YOUR saying that HITLER was SUPPOSED to have been a "DEVOUT CHRISTIAN," how does YOUR DEFINITIVE DESCRIPTION of the type of "DEVOUT CHRISTIAN" that he's THOUGHT to have been compare to the TOTALLY-BIBLICAL-ONLY definition?
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JUST AS WELL, I have OTHER SIMILAR BOARD-TOPICS to THIS, that are DEFINITELY INACTIVE, but SUCH TOPIC CAN AND WILL, at whichever time, RE-SURFACE--THIS HAS TO DO with the CONTROVERSIAL REALITY that the ONLY BARRIER between the SIGHTED AND the BLIND, is what I JUST DECIDED, RIGHT AS I'm WRITING, to label: "ONE-SIDED-ONLY-IGNORANCE," which is THAT on the part of DISGRUNTLED 20-20-SIGHTED FOLKS, ESPECIALLY--now, EVEN THOUGH I'll be as CLEAR as the CLEAREST of ALL that CLEAR could EVER BE on THIS SIDE OF ETERNITY, I EXPECT that there's ALWAYS going to STILL be SOME YOYO that's going to interject that I'm either BITTER, SELF-PITYING, ARROGANT, BLIND-COMMUNITY-MIS-REPPING, GENERALIZING ALL SIGHTED PEOPLE, having a CHIP ON MY SHOULDER, ETC., ETC., ETC., ANYWAY, which if they DO, it would DEFINITELY SUBSTANTIATE TOTALLY in MY favor, REGARDLESS--MEANWHILE, NOT ALL SIGHTED PEOPLE, 20-20, ESPECIALLY, would this EVER apply to.
QUESTION: what makes such "DISGRUNTLED?" The VERY FACT that the GENUINE LIFE of ANYONE that's either SIGHTED OR BLIND, by WHATEVER VISUAL-ACUITY LEVEL, although "SEPARATED by LANGUAGE," so to speak, while SIMULTANEOUSLY COMMUNICATING the EXACT, SAME MESSAGE, is the ABSOLUTE THREAT to the ABSOLUTE OPPOSITION, which would be the IGNORANT, of course, that EVER SO FOOLISHLY CLAIMS that such ISN'T the case, ONLY to risk being the VERY TARGET EXAMPLE of IRREVERSABLE, INCURABLE EMBARRASSMENT, when having been TOTALLY-UNEXPECTEDLY SHOWN UP, ESPECIALLY by ANOTHER 20-20-SIGHTED PEER, under the ABSOLUTELY-SECURED "TUTORLAGE (I HOPE I spelled correctly) of one that would be, JUST AS ESPECIALLY, a TOTALLY BLIND PEER!
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A few replies to this one:

"I haven't a clue what your asking, but yes you did spell that correctly."
"what is he saying?"
"I don't know if anyone could possibly understand the point of this topic or what your question is. Maybe if you could use the period more than the comma, it might make a bit more since. You use the comma so much, it's sinful. Also, if you didn't make so many side notes, your subject might be more clear."

PERSONAL RECOGNITION: I admit that what you're about to read, which the VERY SUBJECT TITLE DEFINITELY sets the pace, DEFINITELY DOESN'T DISPLAY the VERY CHRIST-LIKE EXAMPLE of how my attitude should BE, HOWEVER, I feel ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED for the following "VENT SESSION," as I'll CERTAINLY EXPLAIN WHY I FEEL THE WAY THAT I DO, and that I'll NEVER TAKE BACK what I said, as in: "I'm VERY GLAD that THAT PIECE-OF-SHIT BASTARD, IKE ""FUCKIN'-ASS" TURNER, FUCKIN' CROAKED!" After the LITTERAL HELL that Mommy Tina DEFINITELY DID NOT DESERVE to be put through by THAT MORRONIC BASTARD, DEATH was the VERY BEST THING that could've EVER happen to him, EVEN THOUGH THAT, within ITSELF, was too good for HIS ASS, TOO! IT, along with OTHERS OF ITS ILK, are the ABSOLUTE REASON that there ARE women that NO LONGER TRUST ANY MAN, with ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTION. So, if there IS any man that DEFINITELY DOES have the VERY HEART of TOTAL, DEVOTED APPRECIATION of the VERY GOD-QUALITY LADY that HAS YET to be sent into his life, that's CONSTANTLY EXPERIENCING REJECTION AFTER REJECTION by the VERY WOMAN that he just COULDN'T EVER IMAGINE, NOR would he EVER WANT TO, being rejected BY, may HE, along with ALL OTHERS of the VERY SAME "QUEST," if you may, JOIN ME IN SINGING: "DING DONG, THE BASTARD CROAKED!" Now, if there are any DARING CREATIVE SOULS that might wanna ACTUALLY make a FULL SONG OUT OF THIS, GO FOR IT!
YES, IN ALL HONESTY, I AM VERY ECSTATIC over the fact that SHIT-IKE KICKED! I hope that they don't have a funeral for IT, but EVEN IF THEY DO, OBVIOUSLY, it SHOULDN'T be a FUNERAL, but there DEFINITELY should be a BONFIRE, and as the VERY CARCASS of that UTTERLY DEPRAVED VOMIT BURNS, they should ALL BREAK OUT the PARTY FAVORS, FOOD, DRINKS, LIVELY MUSIC, AND JUST PARTY YOUR ASSES OFF--EVERYONE that attends would have the VERY GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to take turns, DEFICATING AND URINATING ON THAT PILE OF SMUT--what a PERFECT "SEND-OFF" THAT would be!
THEN, when it's ALL SAID AND DONE, find the NEAREST LANDFILL, or even have one ALREADY BUILT, if there ORIGINALLY WASN'T ANY, AND BEFORE DUMPING THAT PILE OF SHIT, TAKE TURNS, SPITTING ON IT!
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Some of these are kind of old, pardon that. It's not exactly the busiest forum but this guy is still kickin'.

While spelling errors are common on blind communities, this caps lock spamming is not (nor is the high levels of rage and confusing language). I told them when I first met them that their use of caps lock is pretty distracting to sighted users but they said they were fully aware of the use of their caps lock and just used it for WHEN THEY THOUGH THEY NEEDED EMPHASIS. As it also turns out, many screen readers have CAPS LOCK MODE TOTALLY HIGH PITCHED so it's EXTRA ANNOYING. So all of this, outside of the spelling mistakes (which aren't too frequent) is completely intentional. And he doesn't get what's wrong with it.

He's not always this bad but when he gets bad oh shit god he gets BAD

imho best obscure lolcow 2014-2015
 
Vasily Zotov:
  • Schizophrenic game developer who created one of the most notoriously bad indie games ever, "Quite Soulless".
  • The games are beyond bad, and he claims they're semi-autobiographical.
  • Claims to have been tortured in a Russian mental asylum, only to escape to Hollywood, CA, USA.
  • Was deported back to Russia to be "tortured" again
LINKS:
Interview with Vasily
Vasily wants to be heard
I believe these are the results of his court case
"Do you know what happened to Vasily Zotov?"

I just heard about him but there's a lot of weird info about him. I don't think he qualifies as a lolcow though, cause he's probably institutionalized in Russia right now instead of causing more drama
 
Ancani said:
Eeehhh, for all the fandom can be pretty spergy at times, she's way beyond what's typical. Most of her fellow TMBG fans (including myself, of course) try to stay as far away from her as possible.
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I want to read about the time linnell slapped a restraining order on her.
 
Ancani said:
Eeehhh, for all the fandom can be pretty spergy at times, she's way beyond what's typical. Most of her fellow TMBG fans (including myself, of course) try to stay as far away from her as possible.
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I wish I couldn't think of one other TMBG fan who is much, much worse.
 
AnOminous said:
I wish I couldn't think of one other TMBG fan who is much, much worse.
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So do I. :(

sparklemilhouse said:
I want to read about the time linnell slapped a restraining order on her.
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I don't know the full details and it MIGHT just be a rumor, but my understanding is that she stalked his (underage) son and camped outside his school. Linnell was understandably less than pleased.
 

the third person willam brings up. pl.us.si.z.e.fa.sion.ista with her 28 second introduction. the bad singing while she puts 20 products on her lipths. MY JOUUUNNNEEEYYYY

OH. He also brings up that white trash wedding processional that was viral on yt a while back. Where the lady sings a dirty song while going down the aisle, and this dad with his kid in the pews is just mortified.
 
sparklemilhouse said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=id=FjX_X6bl2p4;list=WL
the third person willam brings up. pl.us.si.z.e.fa.sion.ista with her 28 second introduction. the bad singing while she puts 20 products on her lipths. MY JOUUUNNNEEEYYYY

OH. He also brings up that white trash wedding processional that was viral on yt a while back. Where the lady sings a dirty song while going down the aisle, and this dad with his kid in the pews is just mortified.
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Slightly OT, but I love the recent episode of Beatdown where Willam shows that old school video set to the exact same cover of holding out for a hero that Chris used in his Ivy music video. Two worlds colliding! I fucking love that song.

That gold lip girl is like Kai's unfortunate twin.
 
President Christopher AKA Wild Man Chris

He thinks his forearms are too short and is obsessed with getting on the Doctor Oz or Doctor Phil show to cure his "GOD DAMN ACHES AND PAINS!" as well as showcasing his original rap songs. He also threatens to kill himself every other week. He's sort of a Dan Quinn type of Internet retard in that you have to have the patience to trowel through 10-15 minutes of pure crap to find any funny content.

https://www.youtube.com/user/PresidentChristopher/videos
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsV8TKCrmZ3xGWVofQndITQ/videos
 
So I found this from this Pax Humana guy on this video where he says he was abducted as a child at the age of four and fought off the people who attempted to rape him. Somehow, my BS detector went off. Also the guy abuses psychological projection on to anyone who disagrees with him to the point where he's more concerned with being right instead of admitting his mistakes.

Faked Child Abuse Story.jpg
 
Psychopulse75 said:
So I found this from this Pax Humana guy on this video where he says he was abducted as a child at the age of four and fought off the people who attempted to rape him. Somehow, my BS detector went off. Also the guy abuses psychological projection on to anyone who disagrees with him to the point where he's more concerned with being right instead of admitting his mistakes.

View attachment 19392
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For some reason, this just comes off like a troll who is baiting people by posting "lol-cowish" shit in hopes people will respond to him. Kinda like the dude who trolled Game Grumps videos after Jontron left, then later said he was "A satire of Jontron fans".
 
Frank Rizzo said:
For some reason, this just comes off like a troll who is baiting people by posting "lol-cowish" shit in hopes people will respond to him. Kinda like the dude who trolled Game Grumps videos after Jontron left, then later said he was "A satire of Jontron fans".
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I'll be very honest, Poe's Law is the only thing that's preventing me from labeling this guy as a lolcow. To me, he's borderline lolcow/troll at best. You know how crazy Christian extremists and Conspiracy Theorists tend to be. It doesn't help that he tends to delete comments, be it his own or other people (It really depends on the situation) to cover his ass. And then there's this, like I first mentioned (I didn't feel like finding relevant post at the time):

Untitled 1.png
 
I just want to introduce you all to my favourite obscure laughing stock. Sadly I'm not sure how well the humour will translate for the MURRICANS but basically all you need to know is my real life job is in the legal industry, and one of the hallmarks of the people who intend to become lawyers is that they often (1) have a massively overinflated opinion of themselves, and (2) are often not that bright.

Now, we have three levels of attorney in this country. The lowest is a solicitor. They can often only be heard in lower courts (Civil/Magistrates/Crown) which are basically the smaller, more local cases and less serious crimes. If you're on your way to a higher court, you need to enlist the services of a barrister (also known as counsel) who can practice all the way up to the Supreme Court (the highest court in the UK) or, if you're only going as far as a High Court (which is somewhere in the middle) you can also use a solicitor-advocate, which is basically a solicitor with rights to be heard in the High Court.

Enter our friend Lord Harley of Counsel, a solicitor-advocate with such an insanely over-inflated opinion of himself that he has given himself EVERY TITLE GOING. Have a look at his absolutely insane LinkedIn CV:

http://www.legalcheek.com/2014/09/9...-has-the-best-linkedin-cv-of-any-lawyer-ever/

Looks mildly amusing, right? It is, until people started looking into all the alleged titles and peerages and found that absolutely none of them held any weight whatsoever. This man has been representing people on death-by-dangerous-driving charges, and nobody can even prove where he got his degree from, or where he trained as an advocate. It's frankly unclear why he is allowed to practice in the first place.

Anyway, he was largely getting away with all this bullshit until he came across a judge in a death-by-dangerous-driving case in Cardiff, Wales. There ensued one of the absolute funniest court transcripts ever known to man as the judge commented on his gown sown with ribbons that he had awarded himself and proceeded to rip the literal shit out of all his imaginary titles and peerages.

http://www.legalcheek.com/2015/03/l...sh-crown-court-judge-full-transcript-emerges/

Since then, the LinkedIn CV has been whittled down, the UK Law Society have launched an investigation into his spurious claims, and it's pretty clear that Lord Harley has decided to sit tight and wait for everything to blow over, if indeed it does.

Tl;dr mad pompous lawyer gets trashed by unimpressed judge.
 
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