Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

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nosferatu said:
Miss Malloree would be a bit more of a "girl's only" cow, but still very funny in general, I think. I've been watching her for a few months now and it's looking like she might be an up-and-coming cow.

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She is rounding the corner on 40 and still thinks she is going to be a famous singer. She has dropped ONE song and it's heavily autotuned because she can't hit the notes. I just really enjoy watching the smug faces she makes as she sings. She really thinks she is good. Reminds me of Chantal's hit singles. Also, she renamed the song Malloree, of course. Because who wouldn't want her to "come on over".
She's basically a pop princess. Obviously..MP4

She wants to be famous so badly. She posts very awkward content and tries to sound like an influencer or a pop star. There is a repeating segment called "coffee thoughts" which is just her saying dumb "positive vibes" shit into her camera accompanied by her coffee-yellow stained teeth.

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But this one in particular to me was funny because she could have done so much better with the content. I get it. You are trying to make fun of yourself for being fat by putting the word food in the song. It could have actually been endearing if you did a better job.

Wow, you're so clever, Malloree..MP4

Nope. Not done. I'm sorry. I can't leave without this last one. Maybe a new girl for Null? Who knows.
She's fat, if you couldn't tell by now..MP4

This cow is not bone dry yet. If you want more, let me know. ;) Or go check her out. It's all still public as of today.
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That stubble on her chin is so fucking hawt 😂😂😂
 
I've taken the thorium energy pill recently and ended up finding out about this woman named Helen Caldicott, who is an extremely anti-nuclear/anti-thorium boomer who uses misandry (yes really) and outdated boomer viewpoints to support her position rather than actual science and logic (she's become kind of a meme within thorium circles from what I can tell).

"E = mc^2 is a substitute, probably, for male erection and ejaculation."
"There's some sort of psychotic element in the nuclear industry; there's testosterone and hormone receptors in the brain, and behavior and sex comes into it."
"More people have died from Chernobyl than in the black plague." (Chernobyl killed roughly 50 people, for reference)
"Forget about all the data and the figures and stuff, listen to your intuition, and you'll know what to do." (doesn't sound very scientific, Helen)
"You're all fools. What do you think you're doing? I mean, you all need psychoanalysis."
"Why even make our children clean their teeth... when clearly they have no future, and they don't."

Here's a whole documentary about her if you want to see more (it's basically just a ton of clips of her being retarded edited together, at least in the beginning):
 
WITH A ROLLING PIN! said:
I've taken the thorium energy pill recently and ended up finding out about this woman named Helen Caldicott, who is an extremely anti-nuclear/anti-thorium boomer who uses misandry (yes really) and outdated boomer viewpoints to support her position rather than actual science and logic (she's become kind of a meme within thorium circles from what I can tell).

"E = mc^2 is a substitute, probably, for male erection and ejaculation."
"There's some sort of psychotic element in the nuclear industry; there's testosterone and hormone receptors in the brain, and behavior and sex comes into it."
"More people have died from Chernobyl than in the black plague." (Chernobyl killed roughly 50 people, for reference)
"Forget about all the data and the figures and stuff, listen to your intuition, and you'll know what to do." (doesn't sound very scientific, Helen)
"You're all fools. What do you think you're doing? I mean, you all need psychoanalysis."
"Why even make our children clean their teeth... when clearly they have no future, and they don't."

Here's a whole documentary about her if you want to see more (it's basically just a ton of clips of her being exceptional edited together, at least in the beginning): https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qaptvhky8IQ
Click to expand...
I've been thoriumpilled for about a decade now. Thanks for this, this woman is absolutely fucking cuckoonuts.
 
Presenting Tumblr user "glorifydiabetes".
I will let their posts speak for themselves.
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Alright Kiwis, let me tell you about a minor schizo I ran across. Before I talk about the actual schizo, I need to talk briefly about a woman named Valerie Houghton. If you're asking, "Wait, who the hell is Valerie Houghton?" then you're not alone, dear reader. I'd certainly never heard of her before today. Apparently she's a family lawyer and therapist involved in cases related to abusive families, kids needing therapy after abuse, etc.

Twitter
Blogspot

Her Twitter is mostly Corona vaccine skepticism, mixed with a few other more questionable medical beliefs. Her blog is local legal resources, stuff about family court cases, etc. I'm not going to even screenshot them because, frankly, they're boring. And she's not our subject. Every indication I've found is that this person is a normie living a normie life, and should be left alone.

So why bring her up at all? Well... it all started when I stumbled across a bizarre fucking comment on Matt Taibbi's Substack, of all places...

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Original (Archive)

Well this person seems to have a bone to pick with Valerie Houghton. Poisoning? Ball shrinkage? Sounds pretty serious. Let's see what this clearly level headed and neurotypical gentleman has to say about his plight...

Substack (Archive)
Wordpress (Archive)

Holy shit, Val not only STALKED and POISONED schizo, she SEX TRAFFICKED HIS CHILDREN! :story:

It's hard to even summarize this clusterfuck because it was written by a rambling schizo. As best I can make out he was involved in a child custody dispute. His lawyer recommended someone who could help (Val), and when she couldn't, he ended up blaming her for the situation as only a schizo can.

A few key screenshots for your amusement. All these are supposed to be "proof" of what Val did to him, I guess?

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(Sorry about the shitty size/quality. They're that way on the actual site.)

Nowhere does he explain how or why Val poisoned/assaulted him, why he thinks he was hacked, or any proof of most of his claims. Interestingly there ARE some actual court documents linked on the page, but none of it proves anything he claims. Here's an example for any legal Kiwis. How does he stack up against Russell Greer and the Mountain Jew?

Legal Doc (Archive)

Some of the screenshots, like the following, just look straight up fake, like the kind of "death threats" cows send themselves for attention, pity, and Paymetons money.

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He also has an account on a site that's supposed to be used for complaining about bad cops, but he seems to be using it to bitch about a shrink that diagnosed him as delusional. He's a single issue schizo, but he's casting a WIDE net. His links to his site are showing up in all sorts of weird places.

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Cop Blaster (Archive)

Oh, and he has a Youtube channel. Two, actually.

Youtube Channel 1

Two recordings about him filing pro se complaints with/against the court. One video about Val during a speech who refers to right after lunch as a "killer" time of day. Excerpt from the description: "Valerie Houghton spoke about lunch being a killer time of day. She said it about 4 years before she poisoned me. Perhaps it was a coincidence. I can attest that she is good at poisoning, and also adept at covering it up. "

Youtube Channel 2

Only two videos. First is a summary of his beef with Val. The second one Val makes an offhanded joke during a speech that molesting goats isn't reportable to abuse services. Schizo takes this as evidence that Val meant "kids", because young goats are sometimes called kids, geddit? She's rubbing it in his face about his kids getting molested! Even though the date stamp on the video is... 8 years ago.

The most likely explanation is that he's a schizo, he got his kids taken away for being a schizo, and he concocted a story about Val poisoning him because he's angry about losing his kids and... he's a schizo. He's got the right vibe for a thread, but there just isn't enough content, so I put him here instead.

This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.
 
WITH A ROLLING PIN! said:
I've taken the thorium energy pill recently and ended up finding out about this woman named Helen Caldicott, who is an extremely anti-nuclear/anti-thorium boomer who uses misandry (yes really) and outdated boomer viewpoints to support her position rather than actual science and logic (she's become kind of a meme within thorium circles from what I can tell).

"E = mc^2 is a substitute, probably, for male erection and ejaculation."
"There's some sort of psychotic element in the nuclear industry; there's testosterone and hormone receptors in the brain, and behavior and sex comes into it."
"More people have died from Chernobyl than in the black plague." (Chernobyl killed roughly 50 people, for reference)
"Forget about all the data and the figures and stuff, listen to your intuition, and you'll know what to do." (doesn't sound very scientific, Helen)
"You're all fools. What do you think you're doing? I mean, you all need psychoanalysis."
"Why even make our children clean their teeth... when clearly they have no future, and they don't."

Here's a whole documentary about her if you want to see more (it's basically just a ton of clips of her being retarded edited together, at least in the beginning): https://youtube.com/watch?v=Qaptvhky8IQ
Click to expand...

what a great documentary. thanks for posting.
 
Came upon this autogynephile diaperfag who spent most of 2014 making videos of himself singing while dressed in a doll-like dress and a diaper. His Youtube channel is mostly devoid of info and has around 14 views per video, so I haven't been able to dig more info on this guy (and it's not something I'm eager to do, either. He's disturbing enough already).
Here's two of his works:

In this one he sings Beyonce's Put a Ring on It while dancing, showing off his ass, and attempting to hump the air. He also zooms his face at the start of the video so you can take note of his Pixar-level detail face:


And here he is at a pub in full drag. Later on we are greeted by La Creatura sporting balloon tits and dressed as Santa dickriding some poor sod. It may be him, but I'm not quite sure.
 
John Lawrence "Jack" Dowser is a Canadian arsonist who is now homeless. About a decade ago, he burned over 80% of his body setting a house on fire in Gananoque, ONT (Article). This year, he started uploading videos to Youtube documenting his attempts at suicide and having people trying to break into his condo (ironic).



He directs his ire at the likes of Stephanie Hutchinson, Jennifer Bedard, and anyone else who calls the Kingston police on him. He alleges that he wants to kill himself because this Stephanie woman (a PSW) went through his room and joked about his BDSM strap.

Stephanie%20Chat--July%206.jpg


Kijiji Ad
Youtube Channel
Facebook
The Jack Chronicles
 
raritycat said:
John Lawrence "Jack" Dowser is a Canadian arsonist who is now homeless. About a decade ago, he burned over 80% of his body setting a house on fire in Gananoque, ONT (Article). This year, he started uploading videos to Youtube documenting his attempts at suicide and having people trying to break into his condo (ironic).

https://youtube.com/watch?v=iz9chv0b5Nc
https://youtube.com/watch?v=A4y6cT7bh5g
He directs his ire at the likes of Stephanie Hutchinson, Jennifer Bedard, and anyone else who calls the Kingston police on him. He alleges that he wants to kill himself because this Stephanie woman (a PSW) went through his room and joked about his BDSM strap.

Stephanie%20Chat--July%206.jpg


Kijiji Ad
Youtube Channel
Facebook
The Jack Chronicles
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I wonder why he set the fire
 
I found this gem on Facebook just now. I couldn't find the appropriate place to post this but holy fuck this thing is a mess.
 

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@cmdrbluefin (Louis Charles Hamilton the 2nd) is an African American male who when not sperging over former president Trump or attempting to take him to court, can be found obsessing over Emma Watson and numerous other actresses.
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Louis's posts largely consist of political sperging, his previously mentioned obsession with actresses, general coom bait and creepshots of random woman. He communicates primarily through hashtags, of which he spams on every post of his. Louis claims to be in the navy and seems to have spent time in a veteran's hospital last year, where he claims that Trump and numerous millitary groups stalked him.
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He has numerous alts where posts largely the same content @bluefinlch2, @uscongressaoc, @unitednationsemmawatson and @vapour11usn being what I've found so far. Apologies for the formatting and how shit this is, it's my first attempt at this kind of thing and I'm a lil exceptional.
 
Henry Piiroinen is a 51-year-old man from Finland who spams Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube with meaningless shit. On Instagram he has almost 9,500 total posts and almost 500,000 followers (spambots posing as women have a habit of following middle-aged men so a tiny fraction of this number are TRUE and HONEST people. This can be proven by the fact that most of his videos on Instagram have less than 1000 views.)
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He has more of a presence on Tik Tok due to the site's algorithm allowing random videos from random people to suddenly go viral. He has 52,000 followers and has a small handful of videos that have over 1,000,000 views.
EDIT: This account has been banned from TikTok, and I'm almost certain it was because of all of the shirtless videos. He has two accounts now, henrypiiroinen250 and dyn72s18bqvx.
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btw, the 1470 accounts he's following are almost all random thots

73,000 views


1,800,000 views


1,000,000 views


102,000 views


My personal favorite because of how abruptly the video changes
52,100 views

He has about 8 YouTube channels where he reuploads his TikTok videos and posts ASMR and dashcam videos. These are all in Finnish (a language I don't understand at all), so I have no idea if anything intersting is being said.



[


He seems like a retard but it's hard to say for sure because so many things are conflicting. On one hand, he's a mouthbreather who doesn't talk (except for whispering in his ASMR videos), but on the other hand he is able to drive.

Last thing worth mentioning is that he powerlevels extremely freely and without being prompted. He's actually doxed himself on Instagram multiple times.
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This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.

He isn't really threadworthy since doesn't do much apart from post pictures and videos of himself into the ether, and he doesn't interact with other people, let alone get into drama, but he does post semi-frequently on various platforms so he is interesting and I do get lulz from him.
 
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thehat19721 / Alan Price (Supposedly)

thehat is a likely tranny, aging british man who posts "skits" on tiktok. these include dressing up as a woman, cat, baby, etc. some of these have a fetishist undertone, some are him dicking around and embarrassing himself in public. he also streams on tik tok where he will argue with his commenters, go out into the public or give us a live performance of whatever bullshit he posted a video of 10 minutes before

im unsure whether he is lolcow material, the issue with him is that he doesnt post as much and there's not too much controversy around him. though of course this might be due to the fact he is just a random, almost unknown, tiktok user

videos posted below, i'd like to see what people have to say about old alan but i can say at least, he falls under the title of obscure laughing stock
 

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Anyone heard of Kenneth Che Tew Eng?

He is an Asian supremacist who aspires to be an author.

He first gained notoriety as author for a column in some San Francisco bases publication called Asian Week. The controversial article is called, "Why I hate Blacks".

He was immediately dismissed. It's worth noting that this was actually published, so anyone who let this be released for public consumption is also a tool lol.

He was invited to do an interview on Focks, which really was just a troll sesh.

Fox interview:

----------------------------------------------------

Mr. Eng has um, authored a few books.

Here is where you can read the blurbs: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/7471628.Kenneth_Che_Tew_Eng

Here is a sample of one of the blurbs:

"No political correctness. No pansy liberalism or faggots. Dotheads and sand niggers may not want to read this."

And here is a review for Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate on goodreads:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's great; I'd give it a ten out of five if I could. A life-changing journey. Just like the Trail of Tears.
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If you are interested in learning more about this Asian Aldous Huxley, then google search his name!!
 
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Here's a quickie. There's this guy that I've seen around a couple message boards who goes by "Royameadow" (aka Roya Rockwood, aka Julian Mend) whose life is nothing more than a massive LARP. He is an autistic narcissist who genuinely believes that he's the founder of some big and important entertainment organization since 1999 (the dude is in his mid-20's), with which he thinks is gonna revolutionize and save the entertainment industry. All he really does is make boring let's plays that begin with minutes long introductions and "commercials", splash screens, awful "artwork", and tweet about stupid bullshit. He loves to slap his crappy logo on everything he produces, including random photos he took of shit in his house, desktop screenshots, or archives of videos that he doesn't own. He has a tendency to run his mouth and pad out everything he says and types, and will even bloat up/change names and numbers for no good reason (i.e. Sega 32X -> Super 032X, Sonic Unleashed -> Sonic Adventure V: Planetary Pieces). He also likes to involve other random people in his bullshit too, so you'll often see ads and photos of them in his content.

Also for lulz. he's made up his own religion (Royan Polytheism) and political party (the "Royan Party of 2003"). His religion just boils down to believing that every religion had a place in history and his political party is just a bunch of shit from many leftist parties thrown together.

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kek

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Some kid asked him about the progress of a Sonic Mania mod he was developing, and he had that to say.
(Archive)

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autism

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Why the watermark?

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lolwut

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"Royan Copyleft Law"

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lol

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This is what happens when you let autism win.

YouTube
Twitter
DeviantArt ("About" archive)
Twitch ("About" archive)
Patreon
Facebook #1 (Archive)
Facebook #2 (Archive)
 
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