Nintendo Switch (Currently Plagued) - Here we shit post about the new Nintendo console, The Switch

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and its consommer fantards aren't any better
That's an understatement
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Okay, so its been a seemingly endless 2 months since I reviewed Rise of the Third Power a game that I liked. And holy shit, after suffering through Pokemon Scarlet I definitely look back on Rise fondly now. Yeah, lets get onto it. I have "completed" my playthrough of Scarlet and did not like it. But how and why did I dislike this glitchy, barren, half-baked version of Spain? Lets get right into it.

First of all, its ugly as sin. You know how "haters" found one bad area of TotK to use while complaining about repeating textures? Yeah, that’s the entire game world. Their failure to master basic visual tricks has done no favors to the world, which ends up feeling both small and annoying to traverse at the same time. It feels like they are 20 years behind, competing with the likes of Oblivion or Red County from GTA SA. Not in gameplay mind you, god no, in visual quality. Throughout most of the journey you have little to do except admire exactly how awful the game world really looks, what with the seemingly total lack of side-quests and the ease with which the game throws its more desirable mons at you. And while pokemon and character models look nicer than in Sw/Sh or PLA, there's so few of them that you know they cut corners to get there, especially in regards to the amount of trainer classes.

Secondly, its chuggy and buggy. Even waiting a few months to play it, there's still plenty of bugs present and I had at least one or two hard crashes. But far more infuriating is the slow loading whenever you want to progress the story of the game by going to school. Each class has the awful slow scrolling of Pokemon, but it throws in a fucking loading screen just to get to each dialogue tree too. Its awful. They don't even let you just load the shit up, they make you scroll through three text boxes to access the loading screen. I hate the whole game and am not going to devote much time to this review, so please take away from this paragraph that I am putting a significant amount of effort into describing to you how nails on a chalkboard obnoxious the fucking time wasting text in this game is. And god, the battles, how do battles take so long to play out? Why is there still no way to keep battle animations but remove hurt by poison or buffeted by wind text boxes?

For what its worth, I thought the class aspect of the story was okay. But it came at the expense of the traditional gym system and enemy factions, which were both pushovers. Honestly, it felt like the "post-game story" had more meat than the actual game, which is bizarre to me. That’s the closest it will get to praise from me. I liked Arven's story and he deserved a better game than this to have it in.

Alright, lets get this shit out of the way. Pokemon Scarlet gets a 0 out of 2 and a recommendation that you play PLA instead. And no, I am not buying the DLC and did not catch any of the legendaries.





Wooo, I did it! I'm free! I'm finally free! I can play something I am looking forward to now! I can have fun playing games again!

edit: Lol, wasn't expecting the thread to have looped back around to Pokemon. Glad I am being, topical then.
 
There's something poetic about the Switch 2 likely using DLSS in all their games to reach "decent" framerates. From jagged edges so severe they could cut your eyes to vaseline smear on an OLED screen. It really is a wonder how Nintendo isnt bankrupt. Imagine their console and games dropping in under another name in a universe without Nintendo. They'd get laughed out. Dogshit 3D chibi models versus the detailed pixel art of monster collecting indies.
 
Does you think the next Nintendo console will be the last one with physical releases?
There's no point to physical releases anyway since they just lead to an online download screen. I can find a pack of about 25 blu-ray discs for $50 and they're all 50GBs each which mounts up to $2 per disc. If they wanted to do physical releases, they could put setup files like GOG (even with big games) in those discs instead of some gay online store key. It could actually justify Sony's current $70 pricetag.
According to AAA corps, people with slow internet speeds are not people. You will download spend 3 weeks downloading 5TBs worth of high definition sound files (that you won't notice or care about) and there's nothing you can do about it.

That's an understatement
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At least she's self-aware...
 
>2.27.2019
The worst game at that time was Let’s Go, and even that was at least competent albeit bland and safe. No one knew how bad things would get.
If you can get over the mechanical changes Let's Go is actually really good. It's fun to catch all pokemon in the game and the difficulty goes from way-too-easy to much more reasonable about halfway through the game.

I guess most would have preferred a more "safe" or direct remake but doing something different and out there wasn't so bad.
 
If you can get over the mechanical changes Let's Go is actually really good. It's fun to catch all pokemon in the game and the difficulty goes from way-too-easy to much more reasonable about halfway through the game.

I guess most would have preferred a more "safe" or direct remake but doing something different and out there wasn't so bad.
I liked Let’s Go. It just relies quite a bit on nostalgia (as opposed to the other remakes of the time, which are good games on their own), the music and models are way too basic, there are no Pokémon from later generations, the new areas from FRLG are removed, and the requirement of playing with a single vertical joycon is really dumb. But I’ll gladly take it over gen 8/9.
 
I liked Let’s Go. It just relies quite a bit on nostalgia (as opposed to the other remakes of the time, which are good games on their own), the music and models are way too basic, there are no Pokémon from later generations, the new areas from FRLG are removed, and the requirement of playing with a single vertical joycon is really dumb. But I’ll gladly take it over gen 8/9.
I appreciated the focus on the original 151. Hot take but nobody cares about newer pokemon, not even young kids.

And yes the controller restrictions are completely retarded, I found it easier to just play handheld.
 
So I'm playing Fire Emblem Three Houses. Talked a lot about the plot and gameplay on the FE thread, so I'll just say it's good on that front. What I will talk about is how the Switch handles it. Three Houses is clearly beefy for the Switch, especially when going around the cathedral. Nothing game breaking, but it feels like it's getting pushed to all its Xbox 360 era power. Blowing it up on a TV screen only showcases that. Still looks good, but it just feels... dated graphically. Not the 1080p part, I have no illusions about the Switch, but stuff is just a bit pixelated sometimes.
Three Houses was an enjoyable vidya but I consider to be the weakest Fire Emblem if anything, as the whole tactical strategy (aka the main selling point of the franchise) felt like an afterthought. Similar to how Utawarerumono is an excellent ADV/visual novel but nothing memorable as a strategy title on its own.

Engage was objectively the superior game all around by comparison, between the larger focus on tactical gameplay (with the story part not overstaying its welcome), the ability to fully customize your army units with rings & classes (nearly everyone can be your mains if you simply invest in them), graphics & animation (I never skipped the battle animations once unlike 3H).



There's something poetic about the Switch 2 likely using DLSS in all their games to reach "decent" framerates. From jagged edges so severe they could cut your eyes to vaseline smear on an OLED screen. It really is a wonder how Nintendo isnt bankrupt. Imagine their console and games dropping in under another name in a universe without Nintendo. They'd get laughed out. Dogshit 3D chibi models versus the detailed pixel art of monster collecting indies.
Is this a satire post?

Does you think the next Nintendo console will be the last one with physical releases?
A japanese console from a japanese game company that puts value in its home audience firstmost, aka the market that still highly values physicals. Do I need to say more?
It's obviously not gonna stop third-parties to do questionable decision choices, such as how the japanese Switch cartridge of the MGS Collection doesn't have MGS2 & 3 inside it (while the PSVita cartridge could) or how Squeenix couldn't simply release the first two Kingdom Hearts titles as native ports instead of cloud-only.
 
Three Houses was an enjoyable vidya but I consider to be the weakest Fire Emblem if anything, as the whole tactical strategy (aka the main selling point of the franchise) felt like an afterthought. Similar to how Utawarerumono is an excellent ADV/visual novel but nothing memorable as a strategy title on its own.

Engage was objectively the superior game all around by comparison, between the larger focus on tactical gameplay (with the story part not overstaying its welcome), the ability to fully customize your army units with rings & classes (nearly everyone can be your mains if you simply invest in them), graphics & animation (I never skipped the battle animations once unlike 3H).
I'm going to have to play engage as well then. I find 3H as a good way to get introduced, its very intuitive in terms of gameplay
 
I'm going to have to play engage as well then. I find 3H as a good way to get introduced, its very intuitive in terms of gameplay
Again 3H is not a bad game per se, I still enjoyed my run in church mommy route. But be wary to not use that entry as a reference for any other Fire Emblem title you plan to play in the future, regardless you ultimately enjoy it or not.

I wasn't a fan of encountering monster units in 3H and their armor gimmick, and having to babysit ally NPCs (like in the story level where you have to purge a bandit hideout with the help of Gilbert) gave me Vietnam flashbacks of Super Robot Wars A Portable on PSP/Vita. 3H is also the sole FE game in my knowledge that misses the weapon triangle system too.
 

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There's no point to physical releases anyway since they just lead to an online download screen.
Not really true with most Switch games, as long as the publisher didn't cheap out and go for the smallest size cart possible. Yeah, you might have to download patches but the game will nearly always be playable with just the cart even if you have airline mode on.
 
Entirely untrue.

You can't tell Pokemon fans their games suck.
Pokemon nerds will kill you and then cremate your corpse for sacrilege. They don't know what a guilty pleasure is. Probably because most of them are anime fans too.
Pokemon fans know the current games are bad, they just buy them anyway because they have no self-control then wonder why they don’t get better.
 
Game Freak and the Pokemon Company excluded, of course.

Does Nintendo even interfere with that shithole?

Nintendo doesn't own Game Freak, even partly. Game Freak, Creatures, and Nintendo share ownership in the Pokemon copyright and the trademark (though the latter is only the case in Japan; Nintendo are the sole owners of the trademark outside of Japan). The Pokemon Company is a joint venture partially owned by all three companies whose primary purpose is to manage the Pokemon brand. As such, its generally independent from Nintendo's decision making. Nintendo publish all of the home console games and most of the portable games with a few exceptions (such as the Pokemon Trading Card video games). Nintendo also published all the non-Game Freak made Pokemon spinoffs, except Pokemon Go, particularly those made by Genius Sonority.
 
Nintendo doesn't own Game Freak, even partly. Game Freak, Creatures, and Nintendo share ownership in the Pokemon copyright and the trademark (though the latter is only the case in Japan; Nintendo are the sole owners of the trademark outside of Japan). The Pokemon Company is a joint venture partially owned by all three companies whose primary purpose is to manage the Pokemon brand. As such, its generally independent from Nintendo's decision making. Nintendo publish all of the home console games and most of the portable games with a few exceptions (such as the Pokemon Trading Card video games). Nintendo also published all the non-Game Freak made Pokemon spinoffs, except Pokemon Go, particularly those made by Genius Sonority.
I’d assume this is also why Pokemon tends to not be referenced in other games besides Smash (no treasures in Kirby Super Star Ultra, no Mii costumes in Mario Kart 8, Pikachu’s Mario Maker costume used generic non-Pokemon music until they finally caved and added it in an update).
 
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