I must hate myself.
Here we go: tonight we have Bethany, who is 40 years old and is 600+ pounds, in Alva, OK. Interestingly, she looks a lot like the Farm's pet lardass Amberlynn Reid, complete with gigantic upper arms and laayyyyggs.
I'll be saving and editing this post because my ISP sucks.
So Bethany has two kids, one of whom is 18. Glory be! She can deal with the younger one while Bethany sits on her ass and stuffs her face. The older kid makes breakfast, including an enormous breakfast for Bethany. Her husband Sheldon, who looks like a stiff breeze would blow him away down the road, brings her an equally enormous lunch on his lunch break. Goddamn. It looks like she doesn't move AT ALL from that recliner during the day. No wonder you're a fatass.
Bethany hauls the kids to the grocery store, but doesn't get out of the car because she's now too fat for the scooty puffs. The girls go in and buy all the junk because naturally mom is a total bitch if she doesn't get what she wants.
Ah, mom and dad weren't around much, so stayed with grandmother until grandmother got too old, then went back to mom and dad. Mom's a junkie due to migraine meds/painkillers. In the midst of this touching story, like nobody else has ever had a shitty childhood, they get pizza delivered. Bethany takes an entire pizza and half a dozen pieces of Texas Toast from a full box. Continuing: claims to have been raped by an abusive boyfriend. Got depressed, eating, eating, eating. Was in the 400s by the time she was 15. Blah blah blah. I stopped listening.
She has sores everywhere. I imagine this is what Big Al looks like under those leggeeeens she never removes.
Naturally, she got a bachelor's and then master's in psychology, specializing in addiction. WTF is it with these people? HTF can you claim to be able to help anyone else if you can't get your own shit squared away? Her 18 year old and younger kid are fatties, too, thanks to mom's eating habits. So due to "muh mentalz" she just sits around and eats all day, every day, and nobody says boo about it. "I feel like I'm missing my family." No shit, Sherlock. So after polishing off that giant pizza, and all that bread, one of the girls has a brownie out of the takeout box full of them, and Bethany starts in on THAT.
She has giant, looks to be 6x6, bandaids, on each arm. (Ad for Planet Fitness, lulz)
Here we go! It's time to make the pilgrimage to Houston to see Dr Now. Looks like she's going to be driving herself. Hubby can't drive on the interstate, he has an eye condition. Oldest girl is staying because she's going to be graduating. Goddamn, she's already crying and getting stressed, and she hasn't even moved from her recliner.
Wow, her upper arms. The same thing that fascinates me about Big Al. It's absolutely remarkable.
First stop is of course for crappy fast foot because she's "starving". Bethany, I take issue with you describing yourself as "starving" in any sense of the word. She made is a whole two hours before deciding to stop for another massive round of crappy fast food and a hotel. It will take them a week to get to Houston at this rate. Check into a hotel, burst into tears, start eating, go to sleep.
It's amazing to me that they all say the same thing: "I hope Dr Now can help!" as they stuff another cheeseburger in their face. Do they not watch this show? You know what he's going to say to you!. Put down the fucking cheeseburger! They make it to Houston at some (as yet) unspecified time, and it's scale time! (Ad break: SuperNanny, GrubHub (lulz), Dr Pimple Popper, 90 Day Fiance - you know, I remember when TLC stood for The Learning Channel.)
I'm going to guess 637 pounds. Bethany is kind of tall - taller than ALR anyhow - but I'm betting they weigh about the same, based on body composition alone and the way they boLth look when sitting on the edge of a bed/chair/sofa. Scale says.....507. Not bad - my guess, not her weight. Sheldon has a wonky eye.
"Hello. How y'all doin'?" The happiest, most skilled gnome in all the land has entered the room! Usual speech. At least she's being honest and telling him that she eats all day long. Dr Now is puzzled. If you know what's wrong, why do you keep doing it? "You seem to be looking for a magic solution." Details all the ways surgery can be undone. Dr Now points out her kids are fat, too. The famous 1200 calorie diet, only eating three times a day, walking as you can, 60 pounds in two months. I can see this will not end well. Dr Now says the same thing I did: you counseled people but didn't do jack to fix yourself. Sends them away. Ooh, the packet he gives them is pretty thick, has his smiling, gnomish face on the front.
She has the walking waddle so many of these fatties, do, toes pointed out so they don't tumble to the ground and set off seismic monitors and require an entire fire station house to come pick them up.
Next month: whoa, fresh veg? Amazing! She needs to learn some knife skills before she chops off a couple of fingers. This meal is summer squash and zucchini on top of chicken breasts. Bethany is actually doing the cooking instead of Isabella having to. Bethany is not exercising - "sore". Famous last words: "I think I've been doing well."
Back to Houston, and a weighing. "I'm in a lot of pain." Yeah, some of us live with chronic pain we didn't eat ourselves into. I have no sympathy. Cutting to commercial, Sheldon is shaking his head. I am going to guess under 30 pounds of loss, because she isn't moving. At all. We're only 45 minutes in, so there must be something juicy about this ep.
(My ISP crapped itself here - thanks, fuckers.) Weighin: 594 - a 14 pounds loss. Yeah, not even close. Whiny, crying voice about how she just doesn't know what happened and Dr Now will be upset. Bet your ass. Dr Now points out the trip from OK isn't going to get any easier. She claims to be staying within 1200 calories, which is the same crap Dr Now hears all the time. She's eating protein bars: STOP BEING LAZY. EAT REAL FOOD. Dr Now not buying any of it. Sends her back home, two more months, same goal: 60 pounds. Hallway visit with the gnome: until Bethany starts taking responsibility, not a lot we can do. She says on the way to the car that it's "daunting" to have to go and do it all voer again. Girl, WTF the rest of your life is going to look like? Doing this ALL THE TIME.
Back home: salads for dinner. Kids don't seem happy. Going out for a walk - they're all going, so that's good. She's up to three 10-minuntes walks a day. Good for you! Usual VO pep talk about how she needs to do this, blah blah blah. (Cloudflare errors - fuck off, abusers. We need the Farms.)
We're back in Houston. Next weighin. 539 - 55 pounds down since last visit, 69 pounds in total. See what happens when you get off your ass? Hey, got a "I'm proud of you". Stamina is improved, everything is good. Setting a date for surgery: next month, continue to lose weight. Take off another 30 pounds. Stay in Houston post-op. Start therapy. Sheldon says "Thanks you, sir." to Dr Now each time. Hallway gnome: Bethany needs to get her mind straight to be successful.
Next month: at the hospital for WLS. Lost another 25 pounds this month, and surgery is a go. We're kind of early for surgery, time-wise in the ep. Does something go terribly wrong? Does she die? (Probably not.) Room lights off! Standard talk about reducing stomach by 90%, etc. Sheldon in the waiting room. These two are an oddball couple, for sure. Giant stomach! Into recovery. Ad break. 45 minutes to go for DRAMA.
14 pounds down one month post op, and only 4 pounds down the next month.Dr Now says she should be losing more weight. She didn't go to therapy. She swears she's doing everything she's supposed to. He points out she didn't go to therapy. If she doesn't deal, she's not going to lose any real weight beyond what she has already. Lectures her in front of her two kids - get 'er, Dr Now!
Come back next month, DO YOUR THERAPY. Standard VO about how he could stretch the stomach back out and gain again.She's going into therapy with the notion it isn't going to work like Dr Now thinks it will. Huh, sounds like some other fatty we know, who swears she knows what works "for her". Where's Dr Lola?
Therapy stuff: sexual assault, mom tried to commit suicide, Bethany found a letter where her mom basically blamed her. Therapist says maybe you should take to your mom about this, but she says NOPE. Doesn't find therapy useful, thinks it's a waste of time.
Next month. "This is sooooo haaaard. It isn't getting eeeeasier!" OK, quitcher bitching. You knew this is how it was going to be. Whines about the fam not supporting her all gung-ho like in the beginning. She's pawing through all the junk food in the kitchen.
Back for a weighin: betting not where she needs to be, with all this bitching. 502 - gained 6 pounds. "Something must be wrong! It's supposed to be easier after WLS. This isn't fair!" Hey, you know the only person you're hurting with your bullshit excuses is yourself, right? Good talk!
"Surgery's not working like it should." That's probably something you shouldn't say to Dr Now. He lectures about therapy. He wants an endoscopy to make sure she isn't blowing out her staples. Hallway gnome talk: she needs to take therapy seriously, and this could be dangerous. Man, so many of these people are so fucking whiny. Woo, endoscopy. She looked dead with her eyes wide open and the bite block in her mouth. Here comes the happy juice for lights out! Looks like the stomach is holding. They took a biopsy. She needs to get on track and that means therapy.
Going out to eat with the 'rents. Mom thought she was having a heart attack due to chest pains, but it wasn't. Now they're out at some hillbilly restaurant. Bethany is bitching and moaning about Dr Now, the therapy, blah blah, none of this works. Wah wah wah. I can't have any of this food. Her parents are fat, too. She still doesn't want to talk to her mom about the suicide note thing. She skipped her last appointment, and the's bithcing that she isn't getting the help she needs, nor the tools, and she's doing a internet chat with Dr Now to tell him she's quitting the program because it's just too hard and too much work and blah blah blah.
You know, I root for these people when they work at it. I'll even stop calling them fatty. But as any athlete knows - or anyone who wants to do anything, excel at anything knows - you HAVE. TO. WANT. IT.
Dr Now says to let them know if she wants to arrange something in OK for her to do therapy, whatever, and good luck. Pan out, Bethany sitting in her recliner, surrounded by laundry, teary because the surgery wasn't the magic bullet Dr Now told her it wasn't.
Episode rating: FAIL
On to the Slatons!