Militant Vegans - MEAT IS MURDER, YOU BLOODMOUTHS

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I dated a vegan once.
this person had a 6 year old kid.

this person would show the poor kid pictures of slaughtered animals and scream at the child for eating macaroni at grandmas house.

Dodged a bullet
 
I have a friend who is something of a vegetarian. She isn't preachy, but we were once at an organic food fair together and started talking about food ethics. (I initiated it, so, again, she wasn't being preachy, she was just honestly answering my questions)

She pointed out, correctly, that most people find watching animals being killed and slaughtered for food unpleasant, possibly repulsive. I think she's right - I personally wouldn't much enjoy hanging out at an abattoir. But she felt that that repulsion was a sign that, on some level, we know that what we're doing to them is wrong. I think a lot of vegans and vegetarians feel this way. But I think they're wrong. We're turned off by seeing animals get killed because we can put ourselves in their place, but the revulsion has no moral dimension to it, it's purely visceral. We're just as revolted by seeing people shovel piles of shit, but nobody would claim that that means it's morally wrong to process sewage.
 
Dean Ween said:
this person would show the poor kid pictures of slaughtered animals and scream at the child for eating macaroni at grandmas house.
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Sounds like PETA's übermensch.

I also love the term "murder-free" because it's equally parts stupid and morally hypocrite.

I mean, if you ever took as much as a single shower, isn't your oh so pure murder-free lifestyle already marred by the ghosts of millions of microbes that were living happy and prosperous on your skin until you dragged them to their untimely, horrible, lemon-scented demise? Your lifestyle isn't even genocide-free. What makes you think it's murder-free?

> "microorganisms don't count"

Well, I'm sorry then, MR. SPECIST.
 
Relevant Dinosaur Comics:
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I'd tell vegans to suck my duck but they don't eat meat, and unlike them, I respect other's dietary choices.

Also if animals didn't want to get eaten, they should've thought about that before they decided to be so delicious. Check and mate.




Now to go back and actually read this thread.
Edit: lol my phone autocorrected "dick" to "duck" and I didn't notice. Gonna keep it the way it is cuz lol.
 
Cosmos said:
So, by the year 2015, we're all probably encountered a vegan at some point, either online or in real life. If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting one, vegans are people who are basically extreme vegetarians; whereas vegetarians only abstain from meat and sometimes fish, vegans don't eat any animal products whatsoever. No eggs, no dairy products, no broth, and some of them don't even eat honey. Now, there are plenty of awesome vegans out there who chose to not eat animal products for a variety of reasons (usually ethical, but sometimes dietary) but understand that most people don't want to do that; they're accepting of other people's life choices and only want for their own to be respected as well.

Those aren't the vegans we'll be talking about in this thread.

Over the past few years, militant vegans are becoming more and more of a presence. They compare eating meat to murdering someone, say that the ongoing farming of animals is comparable to the Holocaust (granted, I think that animal welfare needs to be vastly improved, but seriously?), argue that the human body evolved on a 100% plant-based diet so we're all herbivores (Incoming biology lesson: no, we're omnivores), call people who eat meat "bloodmouths," and insist that tolerating the fact that people eat meat is like tolerating slavery or child murder. Of course, these people have migrated to Tumblr, the Mecca of drama queens and people who have the innate need to get offended and overreact to everything humanely possible. Don't know whether or not someone is a vegan? Don't worry, they'll either tell you as soon as possible or the word "vegan" will be somewhere in their username. Usually it's both!

So sit back, relax, and maybe even post pictures of your favorite vegan freakouts! I'll start:

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"Before arguing with vegans, please make sure you know that we're 100% right about everything and nothing about our beliefs is debatable, kthx"

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I don't know about you guys, but whenever I eat meat, I always feel the need to bitch about vegans even when there are none in the vicinity. I guess that's just how irrational and evil us bloodmouths are.

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I actually laughed at loud at this one because it implies that I'd murder and eat my dog, who's been my constant companion for 12 years and who I literally grew up with, the second I got hungry instead of eating a bowl of cereal like a functional human being

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A world without cheese is a nightmare dystopia I never want to find myself in.
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So every time I enjoy a cheeseburger, I'm basically cannibalizing my grandma?

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"How dare you ask me to not hound you about your dietary choices!!!"

For the record, I think that the way most livestock is treated is deplorable and that animal abuse is one of the worst things in the world (just like all forms of abuse), but there's a huge fucking difference between "Let's reform the meat industry and make sure that livestock is treated as humanely as possible" and "Let's release all of the cows, chickens, pigs, sheep, and every other animal and everyone who thinks that we shouldn't is a sociopath who advocates genocide and slavery."

And finally, to end with the words of the great Ron Swanson on why you should never treat these people as anything other than a joke:

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Once when I was in high school, I had a Vegan get pissed at me because I ate the school Lunch, which was a delicacy that was affectionately called by the studentia "Nuggets on a Bun." It's basically was chicken nuggets on a roll with an optional slice of American. Absolutely delicious and a favorite of many students.

So this one Vegan asshole who is at the table I'm at starts giving me shit. "How can you eat that?!" she asked. "Well, I start by putting it in my mouth and chewing..." I started before she cut me off. She was not pleased with my response. "No, I mean eat that chicken. Don't you know how the chickens are treated at slaughterhouses?"

"Yes," I said, taking a bite. "And I don't care." She at this point was angered, and began to go on about how meat was murder. I responded with the most sociopathic thing I could muster. "I bet this was a very nice chicken, because its meat is so tender." Whilst she was horrified with this, I groaned appreciatively with each bite until she left my table in disgust.

Good times.

As for these assholes? I need say nothing. I will leave this in Denis Leary's capable hands:

 
I don't think people are going to stop eating factory/farmed meat until they starting growing it in labs or can replicate it somehow. Vegans should be working on that, but I bet they don't or would still find some kind of problem with it.
I have never actually met any crazy vegans, but in college I did try being vegetarian for awhile to lose weight and one of my friends started treating me like absolute shit at meals for it (knowing it was to lose weight) something about vegetarians and vegans drives certain people completely batty even if they're not being preachy about it.
 
I just don't like anyone preaching at me. (Well, except for the priest. And he gets one hour on Sundays and that's it, buddy.) And I get kind of cringey when people talk like bacon is the best thing in the world; honestly, the whole Church of Bacon thing has gotten beyond silly. Nobody needs to be told meat is tasty, especially not over and over again.

But I admit, I have a special dislike for the militant vegans and crazy-ass "bomb animal testing labs" folks. A bunch of them passed out pamphlets at my little brother's school when he was in second grade, and he came home really upset because the pamphlets said "YOUR MOM IS A MURDERER." Making kids cry is not teaching them to make ethical decisions about their food. Fuck those guys.

I also remember a post--I can't find it now, unfortunately--which advocated releasing all domesticated animals back into nature. Jesus, it's not like you can magically undo 10,000 years of domestication and breeding by opening the gate and telling Bessie she's free now. There would be dead cows everywhere.
 
six.four.systems said:
In Australia we have a party that these kinds of Vegans in called The Green Party who wants to ban any kind of hunting, sports shooting and firearms in general because they care about the animals despite that if we didn't have hunting Australian farm land would be eroded due to invasive species such as rabbits killing srubs, trees and depleting native animals of food.
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That is nuts.
Australia is the one place on earth where meeting the local fauna requires fucking firepower. Everything is 100x more poisonous than it needs to be. Even the fucking platypus is poisonous! Kangaroos want to kick your ass, and Koalas want to fuck your juicy eye-sockets. And to even meet these things in mano-a-mano combat, you have to fight them in THEIR habitat: The OUTBACK! Where it is 120 degrees....in the shade!
If these vegans want to show how committed they are to being all touchy feely with some wildlife, I encourage them to go into The Bush and cuddle with a Sydney Funnel Web Spider.
 
Do people realize that anything you eat is done "factory style" even organic crap? These people really need to eat dirt,bugs and trees.
 
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I haven't lived or worked among cows, but at first brush these critters don't look that terrified to me. Their ears are pricked forward and I don't see any whites in their eyes that would denote stress. Also, billions a week? That number seems hyperbolically high. Also also, lol @ some of those tags.

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You know what, I never thought about it before. But, far be it from me to pass on an opportunity to learn! Lacking the Thornberryesque power to talk to animals, I instead looked to Google to answer this question for me. This is what I found. The TL;DR of it is that, surprise surprise, an herbivore's stomach has evolved with their dietary needs, just as an omnivore or carnivore's stomach has evolved according to its needs. That's not to say I don't think human vegetarians or vegans can't get healthy amounts of protein, but if you're going to make an argument like this don't compare your digestive system to a creature's which is radically different.
 
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Slowboat to China said:
I just don't like anyone preaching at me. (Well, except for the priest. And he gets one hour on Sundays and that's it, buddy.) And I get kind of cringey when people talk like bacon is the best thing in the world; honestly, the whole Church of Bacon thing has gotten beyond silly. Nobody needs to be told meat is tasty, especially not over and over again.
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meltychocolate said:
I have never actually met any crazy vegans, but in college I did try being vegetarian for awhile to lose weight and one of my friends started treating me like absolute shit at meals for it (knowing it was to lose weight) something about vegetarians and vegans drives certain people completely batty even if they're not being preachy about it.
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Yeah, I haven't said anything about it in this thread yet (and some other people have mentioned it), but sometimes anti-vegans (or pro-meat people or whatever) can be just as annoying and ridiculous as vegans themselves. Like, if someone tells you that they're vegetarian/vegan and your first impulse to say something like "MMMM I LOVE BACON AND STEAK AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T IS A WHINY PUSSY" or something like that, you really need to stop overcompensating.

I know vegans have gotten a bad rap, but I just think it's incredibly annoying how some people's knee jerk reaction to hearing that someone doesn't eat meat is to go on about how delicious steak/bacon/whatever is or to say something else that's douchey. I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but I know people who are and aren't crazy about it; people still give them a hard time. If someone just doesn't eat meat and isn't preachy or obnoxious about it, then it's none of your business.

Also, things like this?
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Are fucking stupid. I'll say it again: Stop overcompensating.
 
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This just in, nothing in nature eats meat.
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Can't even call cops pigs without upsetting vegans.
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Also the moon is a projection.
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Yeah eating not enough calories tends to be.
 
Cosmos said:
Yeah, I haven't said anything about it in this thread yet (and some other people have mentioned it), but sometimes anti-vegans (or pro-meat people or whatever) can be just as annoying and ridiculous as vegans themselves. Like, if someone tells you that they're vegetarian/vegan and your first impulse to say something like "MMMM I LOVE BACON AND STEAK AND ANYONE WHO DOESN'T IS A WHINY PUSSY" or something like that, you really need to stop overcompensating.

I know vegans have gotten a bad rap, but I just think it's incredibly annoying how some people's knee jerk reaction to hearing that someone doesn't eat meat is to go on about how delicious steak/bacon/whatever is or to say something else that's douchey. I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but I know people who are and aren't crazy about it; people still give them a hard time. If someone just doesn't eat meat and isn't preachy or obnoxious about it, then it's none of your business.

Also, things like this?
bigpot6.jpg


Are fucking stupid. I'll say it again: Stop overcompensating.
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Yeah, if I see that stupid Maddox meme posted seriously one more time I'll blow a fuse. It was funny. Thirteen years ago.
 
I support the ethical treatment of animals. It's true that some forms of slaughtering animals for meat are quite brutal and inhumane and that's terrible.
With that said, I still like my meat. Always have, always will. I don't believe in making animals suffer needlessly. But having an omnivorous diet is what we were built for.
And on top of that, the whole Vegan movement feels like a waste of time for me because every last person on the planet is not going to suddenly decide they're done eating meat. It's not gonna happen. Ever. People are gonna continue eating meat until the end of time. I know there are plenty of decent, rational vegans out there. But it still doesn't change things. At least for me.
 
You want to eat meat? Cool. You don't want to eat meat? Also cool.

You want to tell me what I can & can't put on my table? You want to sabotage a local mom & pop place restaurant with cement down the toilet? Or put a fucking bomb under someone's car because their eating habits differ from yours?

Not cool. Not cool at all.
 
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