Marvel Cinematic Universe

[Calandrino]

What in the Fuck is this garbage that has just been dumped into my recommended shorts...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lD2YKW29ICU
is this a joke? I am not up to date on anything marvel and haven't watched anything from them since the 1990's Xmen cartoon. Is this how their shit is nowadays? Is this for real?

Filming in portrait mode is a bold creative move and honestly, the logical next step.

 

[Leaf Wage Slave Jr]

What in the Fuck is this garbage that has just been dumped into my recommended shorts...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lD2YKW29ICU
is this a joke? I am not up to date on anything marvel and haven't watched anything from them since the 1990's Xmen cartoon. Is this how their shit is nowadays? Is this for real?

A friendly reminder that if you absolutely have to watch this shit, that Piracy is always ethical?

Yeah the MCU has been in a tailspin for years now - the dumpster fire is probably more entertaining to watch than anything released post-Endgame that isn't Spiderman adjacent.

Oh it's real alright. I have a friend who has some of the worst taste in movies ever (but he's a great guy). Bay Transformers

I will die on this hill - Michael Bay isn't a bad director, solely because he knows his strength is "Big Dumb Action Movies", and barring like, Pearl Harbor, he's mostly stayed in his lane. You know your getting "Turn off brain, enjoy the chaos" for 2 hours of escapism, sometimes that's all you need.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Back when I still had my OG account and She-Hulk was still airing I made a list of things that I thought were better ideas for the show. When I got back in the Farms I decided that the show had become too irrelevant for me to bother but seeing that clip pushed me to look deep into my archives for my notes.

Before I begin sperging I would like to mention that I think this show is borrowing heavily from Slott's era writing Shulkie. I don't really remember Slott's era but he is mostly known for his Spiderman and even his diehards think he never got Spidey's sense of humour, so for all I know he also fumbled the bag there. It may sound like heresy to some but I think that Shulkie's humour (at least in John Byrne's run, best run) was akin to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It could be very clever one moment and very dumb the next while remaining very charming, but it is completely alien to modern day whedonian MCU humour. Bathos doesn't work in your comedic show if your 'serious' movies already have bathos and what clashes even more with bathos is that the only thing you take seriously is your own agenda.

Fuck it, here are my ideas.

• Jen Walters is a petite, baby faced legal savant. Cheeky, committed and passionate about her job, short tempered due to a lifetime of being second guessed on everything. She has image issues over being seen like a frail posh girl and constantly overthinks confrontation and disappointment. She is very close to her father who still treats her like his baby and has a big sister relationship with Bruce, being the last connection he has to the rest of the family. Jen works at an entertainment law firm in SoCal due to her dad pulling a favour with one of his buds. Jen's boss is a Cliff Main type, an idealist that hired Jen because of her legal IQ and respects her.
• One stormy night, Bruce appears rambling about feeling he's close to finding a 'cure' to Hulk but that he doesn't have the means to do it because he needs an additional subject. Jen offers to be his lab rat despite Bruce's protest. Establish that they get each other, and that Bruce will work extra hard to ensure not only his own safety but hers. The experiment is a success and we get Prof. Hulk. Jen initially gets nothing and sees from the sidelines how her cousin returns to heroing and saving the world.
• One particularly stressful morning, being catcalled and mocked triggers Jen to transform into Shulkie for the first time. While initially terrified once she gets to see her reflection, Jen is pleasantly surprised when seeing every single of her images issues solved. She is tall, chiseled and even has massive volume in her hair. Visually communicate that Shulkie is the middle ground between the A-listers and the Netflix/Disney+ heroes by compositing Jen's regular actress into an MMA type body double that's a natty in order to tackle capeshit induced bigorexia and give people at home an achievable aspirational body goal. Shulkie's fighting style isn't about overpowering the enemy but outsmart and overwhelm with speed and agility.
• Shulkie decides to capitalize on her powers and try to get into capeshit showbiz. As a callback from the John Byrne era, she drags a stand-in for the showrunner to act as her agent and get her gigs. The guy is able to get her in the extended crew of Netflix's Iron Fist and not get credited and decides to go back into law. The pressure remains in the guy to get her a movie. This guy will be carrying a crude sketch titled 'BIG GREEN MEANIE'.
• Shulkie returns to her old job. Her boss is ecstatic to retool the firm to tackle super hero law with Shulkie as the face of the operation. Here we establish two other supporting characters: Jen's boss's son, a no-nonsense real lawyer that acts as the straight man to the buffoonery around him while trying to remember the green big lady is supposed to be a legal genius and Jen's secretary, Janet Van Dyne. Was going to use Weezi here but MCU's Janet could cover the same role and if you can't pay Michelle Pfeiffer you can rejuvenate her for a cheaper actress. Janet would serve as a connection to the greater MCU and as a mentor for Jen both in heroing and a in life.
• Ideas for law centric episodes: Working for compensation for survivors of the snap (She-Hulk 2004 #3), preventing the civil war as it happened in the comics (Solo Avengers #14), working the brand rights for the Avengers (Women of Marvel #1), defend a fellow hero or herself (Web of Lies & Time of Her Life), secure patents for the Fantastic Four.
• Ideas for romance centric episodes: Jen gets hit by a ray that turns her into an anthropomorphic cartoon duck and goes on a blind date with Howard the Duck in his Donald form that goes surprisingly well until she gets turned back to Shulkie. Jen gives her former neighbour and childhood friend Zapper a chance and we get to see Jen through someone else's perspective. Jen bonds with Wayne Wingfoot but their responsibilities and careers prevail. Jen doesn't get to fulfil her love quest but she ends each attempt amicably and with a new perspective on herself and men.
• Halloween special: Jen wakes up back in her normie form and unable to turn into Shulkie. Her "agent" tells her that her body actor is in disputes with the studio over her wage and she will have to get a substitute, a Randy Savage body double that makes her feel self-conscious. She refuses, paints herself green and tries to fight crime just to end up being ragged by Titania who has embraced her own substitute the same way Hulk ragged Loki. Episode ends with Jen paying of her own pocket top keep her body double.
• Christmas episode: Remake of Sensational She-Hulk Vol. 2 #36. Jen visits her dad and has a real heart-to-heart about how they both feel about Shulkie that ends with both remembering how much they love each other.
• Season Finale: The Quest for Season 2. Jen Walters painted in green must travel across theme parks collecting items of lesser Disney properties while being hunted down by suits in a race for the secret of Disney's success: the frozen head of Ub Iwerks.

I await your puzzle pieces.

 

[Mac Monster]

What in the Fuck is this garbage that has just been dumped into my recommended shorts...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lD2YKW29ICU
is this a joke? I am not up to date on anything marvel and haven't watched anything from them since the 1990's Xmen cartoon. Is this how their shit is nowadays? Is this for real?

Do they ever give any explanation as to why Abomination looks completely different from how he looked in The Incredible Hulk? Or how he survived for that matter, since Hulk fucking choked him at the end of that film.

 

[Nick Obre]

Do they ever give any explanation as to why Abomination looks completely different from how he looked in The Incredible Hulk?

I guess he just kept evolving.

Or how he survived for that matter, since Hulk fucking choked him at the end of that film.

Now, that's explicit. The climax of IH is he's about to kill him, but chooses not to, demonstrating that he's not an out of control monster at that point. Abomination is even gasping and breathing and moving when Hulk drops him.

 

[Mac Monster]

Now, that's explicit. The climax of IH is he's about to kill him, but chooses not to, demonstrating that he's not an out of control monster at that point. Abomination is even gasping and breathing and moving when Hulk drops him.

I misremembered since I haven't watched that film in years. Did they actually do anything worthwhile with him after bringing him back?

 

[Overly Serious]

I misremembered since I haven't watched that film in years. Did they actually do anything worthwhile with him after bringing him back?

He had a brief cameo in the Iron Fist Shang-Chi movie. So no.

I actually liked Iron Fist though it was flawed. I'd have much rather seen a movie expanding on that than Shang-Chi. Though you'd have heard the Reeeee from orbit at a White dude being a Martial Arts master.

 

[The handsome tard]

He had a brief cameo in the Iron Fist Shang-Chi movie. So no.

I actually liked Iron Fist though it was flawed. I'd have much rather seen a movie expanding on that than Shang-Chi. Though you'd have heard the Reeeee from orbit at a White dude being a Martial Arts master.

Because only asian people can do martial arts.

...Do these people ever notice how racist they actually are?

 

[Not A Bunny]

I actually liked Iron Fist though it was flawed. I'd have much rather seen a movie expanding on that than Shang-Chi. Though you'd have heard the Reeeee from orbit at a White dude being a Martial Arts master.

I liked Iron Fist. It seems white guys get even slightly better storytelling than women or blacks (I'm the only person that generally hated Jessica Jones on the premise that apparently every story about women heroes is all about how men have oppressed them; JJ being the worst because it couldn't drop the rape hammer), because white guys never have to actually speak to the current activist view of whatever happens to be bothering them today.

I did think there was reeeeing about Danny Rand being a white guy, but like every activist out there, they don't bother to try and understand why that trope exists (yes, The Shadow and The Phantom are also beholden to that trope, but they never made huge amounts of money, so activists can't be bothered with them): because white guy from a white country gets lost in and adopted by a foreign country.

In their pea-brains, they can only see the foreign country rejecting the white guy because white guy, even when he's the tiniest minority, is still out to oppress and appropriate, never appreciate.

 

[Nick Obre]

I'm the only person that generally hated Jessica Jones on the premise that apparently every story about women heroes is all about how men have oppressed them; JJ being the worst because it couldn't drop the rape hammer)

It's ironic, but while obviously the theme is rape and abuse and trauma, the story plays out more like a story about addiction. Between the alcoholism, JJ's self destructive behaviors, and the chemical nature of Killgrave's powers, it plays out like JJ breaking out of a cycle of substance dependency more than facing and overcoming her abuser.

Though I guess there's significant overlap for both of those things.

 

[Xenomorphs Are Cute]

He had a brief cameo in the Iron Fist Shang-Chi movie. So no.

I actually liked Iron Fist though it was flawed. I'd have much rather seen a movie expanding on that than Shang-Chi. Though you'd have heard the Reeeee from orbit at a White dude being a Martial Arts master.

Because only asian people can do martial arts.

...Do these people ever notice how racist they actually are?

I liked Iron Fist. It seems white guys get even slightly better storytelling than women or blacks (I'm the only person that generally hated Jessica Jones on the premise that apparently every story about women heroes is all about how men have oppressed them; JJ being the worst because it couldn't drop the rape hammer), because white guys never have to actually speak to the current activist view of whatever happens to be bothering them today.

I did think there was reeeeing about Danny Rand being a white guy, but like every activist out there, they don't bother to try and understand why that trope exists (yes, The Shadow and The Phantom are also beholden to that trope, but they never made huge amounts of money, so activists can't be bothered with them): because white guy from a white country gets lost in and adopted by a foreign country.

In their pea-brains, they can only see the foreign country rejecting the white guy because white guy, even when he's the tiniest minority, is still out to oppress and appropriate, never appreciate.

Just to tell you how racist Marvel are. In the comics, his GF was a Black girl, none other than Misty Knight from Luke Cage. The 2 are considered to be one of the first interracial couple (mainly in the WMBF side of things) in comic history.

Spoiler: Iron Fist & His White Boy Summer

Fun Fact: he's supposed to be around 21-22 in the page above.


This is from the Valentine's Day Comic, they even have children in this, BTW:




Edit: Silly me, I forgot to post the unedited, original version of pic above.

They gave his long established Black girlfriend to Luke Cage from Luke Cage in the 1st episode of Season 1. They didn't even give her back to Danny in the future of any shows, despite her being single in pretty much the entirely of the Netflix series.

By the way, it's even worse in the comics.

Spoiler: Comic Spoilers

In fact, she isn't even with him in the comics anymore due to many reasons.

At first it was during the 80's Power Man & Iron Fist run

Context:
>Danny Rand is dying of radiation, & the cure is in K'un Lun.
>Colleen goes with him & Luke, & fights an evil dragon.
>Misty cheats on Danny with a Black cop named Tyrone King, & fucks him during this.
>The Black Cop is actually Master Khan in disguise.

Spoiler: Full Spoiler Description from memory

Danny fell deathly ill as a result of his & Luke's latest adventure (radioactivity I think), so Luke & Colleen took him to K'un-Lun in an effort to save him. Misty refused to go & decided to stay with Tyrone instead.

During the K'un-Lun arc, Danny is cured but has his chi or soul corrupted (something like that, it's been a long time). I think he was found to be unworthy or something? Can't exactly recall, but regardless he could barely put coherent thoughts together & walked around with vacant expressions like a zombie. Some literally-who chick has the hots for him & basically forces herself into his life while he barely recalls who he even is, I'm still not sure what that was about. Misty sees this & thinks he was cheating on her back (he wasn't).

Then, Danny gets captured by the big bad, Misty saves him while the guy she was sleeping with behind Danny's back single-handedly takes out the bad guy (yeah, Danny doesn't even get to take out the main baddie). Oddly enough, Danny never found out Misty cheated on him. Colleen knew, & chewed her out for it (as seen on the page above) for fucking another man while her boyfriend & best friend fought for their lives. Luke knew, but took the direct approach, & threatened the guy. Apparently, Misty says she just woke up one morning & stopped loving Danny, then she gets on a plane & doesn't come back until after Danny "dies". We never see Danny say a word to her & he's still barely even coherent as it all happens.

Now, they were supposedly on a "break" during this time. However, they were "on a break" in the sense that the writer hadn't used her up until the revelation that she was cheating on him, while he was freaking out that he was dying of radiation-induced cancer, does that count?

What happened later is even more retarded, in the capeshit sense of retarded. Danny dies from pseudo-cancer, except he didn't "die" until later on. In fact, the fake Danny only JUST replaced him when this talk is happening, so she cheated on the real Danny! Mind you, there wasn't really any repercussions for her actions & we never even got to see Iron Fist's thoughts on the matter, only Colleen's on the page above. They just make up off-panel & then Iron Fist "dies" & the book ends without him ever saying a single word on panel about it or even mentioning her at all.

What makes it even funnier was the retcon later. Stern & Byrne were the one who tard-wrangled this retardation, & made an unironic Zoom-post in the 80's. See, there's jokes all the time about how petty Black Manta & Professor Zoom are, but Iron Fist's nemesis, Master Khan, created an entire alternate identity for the sole purpose of cucking Danny. Having sex with Misty never came up in any of his plans, he did that just to be an asshole, & unlike when Thawne tried fucking Barry's love interest, HE ACTUALLY DID IT KEK!

Apparently, Stern was going to use that to bring Danny back for his Avengers run (which he OK'd with Priest). Even Priest ended up revealing that King wasn't exactly human in the last issue, when he tanked a bike exploding under him with nothing more than a "Darn, I liked that bike."

As for why Priest did the cheating angle, in the 80's it was fairly customary for books to be made "darker", at least in Marvel. In fact, the last 2 major writers on the book, Mary Jo Duffy and Kurt Busiek (considered the best writers on the book), ended up taken off because they kept the series "too light".

This shit was so bad that it became a major reason no one mentions this run. There's a whole story about it from Christopher Priest, this was retconned soon & wasn't canon for a long while since. What's even funnier is, this isn't the only time Priest did a shitty infidelity story. It's unrelated to Marvel, but it's pretty retardedly funny, due to it somehow being even worse than the one before, & being done on purpose this time.

Spoiler: Prieststroke, Father of the Year

This is from Christopher Priest's 2016 Deathstroke run, it's also called "Prieststroke". Honestly, this run does what it wants & strives to do best, showing Deathstroke being an absolute cunt of a human being. So, unlike the one before, this one was done out of sheer purpose.

Just the basic gist is, Deathstroke's son, Jericho (Joseph William Wilson, aka Joe, aka Joey) got himself a Haitian hottie named Etienne (aka Eddie) for a fiancee, except Etienne was a spy that was sent by Amanda Waller to spy on him & Deathstroke. Except she wasn't even Waller's spy. She was a triple agent working for HIVE (Adeline Kane), much like Louis (Richard/Apogee).

Adeline sent her to spy on Waller as a mole, or turned her while she was working for Waller, then Amanda sent her to spy on Deathstroke. Slade knew this, which is why he seduced her, but didn't reveal any sensitive information about himself. Yup, instead of telling his son something like "I love you, Joe. Here's some advice ..." , he fucks his son's fiancee because she was sent to spy on him by the government & he thinks that if he fucks her, it will make Joseph cut her off. Yup, Christopher Priest Deathstroke (aka Prieststroke) literally cuck his own son Jericho (aka Joseph Wilson, aka Joey), with his son's fiancee Etienne.

This first panel will make more sense later on, it's even more retarded than the cuck son side-plot.


It's not even a one & done deal either, he keeps at it, even doing it while she's talking to his son on the phone.



>Cucks his son.
>Makes it her fault.

Now, explain that first panel, see, Joseph was (emphasis on the WAS, later) with Isherwood for a few months & then was with Ettienne (Priest confirmed this on his blog), with who is essentially is uncle & his father's war-buddy & partner Doctor Ikon. Yes, Joey was bisexual in Priest's run. He made it clear he wasn't gay & didn't care much about body parts with the people he dated. The Jericho/Ikon couple is supposedly used as a parallel for Slade/Terra & had Slade call Ikon out later.

Well, now for that WAS. It was until he tried to murder him for his suit but then Joey felt so guilty it made him suicidal & then he tried to resurrect him out of a coma. Also they met when Joey was a teen.

Anyway, it gets worse, Waller wants to end the charade going a bit too long with the marriage & shit, Etienne finds out about the SayUncle fag affair going on randomly, & Slade wants to use her however he wants. Eddie just tells him she's banging Slade behind his back, & a lot more.

Also, Slade is blind, which makes this panel funny


She technically cucked herself, this is a cuckseption. A "Keicucku", if you will.


Then, this was the end of this Volume (#17)

Just to clarify, this wasn't done by either Jericho or Slade. This was done by Rose's split personality, Willow. She killed Etienne before the wedding. It wasn't Rose's fault & Dr. Vill (Will Hane), later explains it. Her brain takes the information she knows, & works overtime to create the most likely sequence of events to occur based on what Rose wants to do next, & her state of mind. She wanted to kill Etienne, & envisioned her dead, her brain then created the most likely scenario of Etienne's murder. It came to her as a nightmare at the Hmong family's home. Willow & Rose seem to be aware of each other's perceptions, as Willow killed Etienne for Rose, and Rose spoke Hmong to Red Arrow once.

.

Afterwards, Slade hired a bunch of actors to pretend to be his daughter's family from her mother's side. But Jericho finds out about Eddie's death & seethes. He tried to kill Slade, Rose tried to help Joey, & got punched by him. Slade & Rose lived, & Joey went to rehab. I'm not posting pics of this I'm getting tired writing this.

I will post one last thing tho, which is this funny interaction about this whole thing later on (I think around Volume 2 in the run.

>Can you please stop bringing up your fiancee I banged, son?
>Yes, I fucked your fiancee, yes, she's dead now
>She died & no one cares
>Yes, which should tell you something.

I'm not telling you what happened in this run before, & what more happens in this run later. The main point was Priest's love for cuckoldry & infidelity arcs.

Now, back to actual Marvel Comics bullshittery. Now with that retardation from the 80's retconned into something not fully-retarded, into something kinda-retardy, later into just being non-canon...

Here came another retardation:

This is from Sam Wilson: Captain America #9. Now, it's kinda already known that the wokeness & SJW issues started happening around 2010's but didn't really kick in around 2025-16. One of the many, many good examples of this comic from 2016. What was being done here was basically another Storm x Black Panther routine being pulled again (yeah, because that worked SOO WELL when it first happened), which even affected the Netflix live-action series. Remember that cute Valentine's Day comic with Luke & Misty above? It came after this, which is a reminder of how fucky this is & what good could've been if not for this faggotry (or, in this case, niggery) didn't exist in the first place.

Basically, Misty got pregnant, which was revealed to just have been weird Chi shit from Danny fucking her giving a false positive. Apparently this was enough for them to break up & now she's fucking Sam Wilson, who is also apparently involved with Whor (aka Lady Thor, JaneThor) where she pretty much raped his lips & made him want to cheat on Misty with herself, but this is never adressed because you gotta pair the Blacks together. So, Misty's now on/off with Falcon. Even on her own, at this point, she's just the town bike for anyone needing a generic black chick in their books.

They are somehow racist in general, but so much so to Danny that they'll fuck over any other character associated to him, minority or not. Danny can't have a beautiful relationship with a Black girl, said Black girl can't have a normal relationship with a White guy in general, it has to be around swinging niggers.

This soap-opera, Telenovela tier bullshit is why comic relationships are so retarded all the time, combined with many other reasons. Hell, I can't tell if Marvel is based for their forced anti-miscegenation, or batshit retarded to take away Danny Rand's White Boy Summer from him.

If you actually read all that, let's get back to Danny Rand himself.

Hell, the racism towards Danny gets even worse for just Danny himself alone in the comics. Seriously, Marvel took a Tibetan power from a White character & gave it to a Swordmaster Chinese character, Lin Lei, that Marvel only created to entice Chinese readership, & will probably become irrelevant in 5 years, unless if he's put in the MCU somewhere, & that too, if MCU itself doesn't become irrelevant itself by then. Just like Colleen (yellow-washed, & really uglified by the end of the Netflix live-action series, btw) in the Netflix series. It really shows you that this is about hurting white people & nothing else.

Edit: Reading through all this again, I can't believe how autistic & spergy I got about this.

 

[Overly Serious]

I liked Iron Fist. It seems white guys get even slightly better storytelling than women or blacks (I'm the only person that generally hated Jessica Jones on the premise that apparently every story about women heroes is all about how men have oppressed them; JJ being the worst because it couldn't drop the rape hammer), because white guys never have to actually speak to the current activist view of whatever happens to be bothering them today.

Jessica Jones was okay. There were some twists and turns and David Tenant was living the dream of getting to play a truly horrible villain after years of Doctor Who. I'm sure it was a great release for him and he was truly horrible in this. I didn't really like Jessica Jones herself though so that's a bit of a problem for a lead character. Still, it was alright. And I somewhat liked that they kept her strength somewhat on the down low hinting at it more than showing it. Still, I'm mostly with you on this. For me, the highlights of that universe were early Daredevil and Iron Fist S1 and S2. Frankly, Danny Rand the character and his actor were a big part of that. I liked Colleen as well. The whole Daredevil-verse (whatever you call it) had a widespread problem of most characters just not being very likeable. Luke Cage himself was okay in his series but the series itself was pretty weak. Also takes place in a setting that I didn't greatly relate to nor I think really exists. I think Harlem is pretty gentrified these days, no? They also got pretty carried away with Luke's powers. He's got invulnerable skin, right? But why does that mean he is ripping up steel gates with his bare hands? He's a big guy - he should be strong. But they seemed to add super-strength to the set. Admittedly I'm not super-familiar with the comics but in the show it just seemed unwarranted powercreep from what we'd seen.

I did think there was reeeeing about Danny Rand being a white guy, but like every activist out there, they don't bother to try and understand why that trope exists (yes, The Shadow and The Phantom are also beholden to that trope, but they never made huge amounts of money, so activists can't be bothered with them): because white guy from a white country gets lost in and adopted by a foreign country.

So when IF came out, I sometimes posted on a forum I forget the name of. AV Club? Something like that I think. I stopped because it rapidly turned into a place filled with posters who got utterly mad about Danny being White and being a Martial Arts master. I had the temerity to argue that this was a common fantasy (going and learning secret knowledge) and that it was a positive. That the whole idea of visiting and learning from another culture and returning with what you know was a positive one. They reeeed like a bandsaw about cultural appropriation and such. Every other post was "Danny is White! Danny shouldn't be White!" and on and on. And when it wasn't that it was some proxy reason to hate the show that they found. Usually something about Danny being stupid or having unreasonable expectations. He was a CHILD when he left the modern world. He's spent the last dozen years living in a remote kingdom. Yes - he thinks he can just walk back and see his old friends again and they'll be happy to see him. What do you expect? But man those people loved to hate. They were so damned righteous in their hate.

Iron Fist also had a pretty good storyline. At least in terms of making things make sense, finding ways to nerf powers or make people threats or prevent easy resolutions to plots in sensible ways. But most of all I actually liked Danny Rand. He was friendly without being a pussy, he was cocky whilst only being a little bit of a dick. All in all, I found him pretty believable as a kid who'd been raised to have magic powers but was still essentially a good person.

I also, and I don't know if many people really appreciated this the way I did, liked the contrast in fighting styles between him and Daredevil and Luke Cage. Someone back in the planning of this actually put some thought into it. Danny dodges and is graceful. Whilst Daredevil gets punched and punched and keeps on fighting through obvious exhaustion (and Daredevil set a high bar for fight choreography in these shows), Danny weaves and whirls and it's a quite different feel. I liked that a lot.

Conversely I find it kind of silly to see Luke Cage parry or dodge anything.

I'm not all praise. There were some moments of terrible direction in IF. I distinctly remember a scene of him walking away from someone in a wide shot and you can visibly see him forced to slow down as he reaches the edge of the shot, waiting for the queue to stop and turn back. Stuff like that. And Rosario Dawson was as unlikable and condescending in this as in Ahsoka. On the whole though, I thought IF was a lot better than most people seemed to. In the Defenders show where they all came together, I felt sorry for him - he actually was in the right for most of it but Daredevil, Luke and Jessica all seemed to gang up on him in it. Frankly, I'd have liked to see him beat Daredevil though of course in cross-over episodes the showrunners always have to make it a draw to avoid upsetting anybody. :/

Lets not even get into Luke Cage - a guy who grew up in the wealthiest and fattest country in the world, lecturing Danny Rand - a dude who seems to have been up every morning at dawn since the age of ten fetching water in buckets and then training until dusk with men twice his age battering him with sticks. Fuck sake!

 

[Overly Serious]

@Xenomorphs Are Cute Accurate username! Great post! Too long for the Quote functionality to work and although it probably means I'll get a double post unless someone is quick, I wanted to reply separately. That was one of the most informative spergs I've seen in ages. And some of that stuff is just jaw dropping. Slade was sleeping with his son's fiance (I'm almost alright with this given Jericho is such a deeply unlikeable character) whilst said son was sleeping with the married male best friend on Slade - someone who is almost like an uncle to him? (See what I mean about unlikeable). When you said he was sleeping with Icon I for a moment thought you meant that Black Superman stand-in that is apparently a thing in DC though I don't think he actually took off. But apparently there is an Ikon with a k and an Icon with a c in DC and this is the former? I suppose I should just be glad Amanda Wallah wasn't sleeping with anybody in this (seems to be the only one not making the beast with two backs with someone in this) which wouldn't be an image I needed.

Back to Misty Knight - what an awful person! And poor Danny. So it seems he gets treated as badly in the comics as he did in his own TV show. What a shame. So in comics where does he rank in terms of fighting ability compared to his fellows like Daredevil and Luke Cage? Because in the Defenders TV show they frankly made him a bit of a putz against them before he finally gets knocked out by Jessica Jones. Frankly, I don't feel Luke Cage should be able to land a punch on the guy and Daredevil... well he is a very good boxer so I suppose I'm okay with him holding his own against Danny but I still kind of feel Danny should win. As to Jessica Jones? Very strong but again I feel Danny should just be able to redirect that all over the place.

 

[UnKillFill]

Kite man, hell yeah!

 

[Not A Bunny]

I also, and I don't know if many people really appreciated this the way I did, liked the contrast in fighting styles between him and Daredevil and Luke Cage. Someone back in the planning of this actually put some thought into it. Danny dodges and is graceful. Whilst Daredevil gets punched and punched and keeps on fighting through obvious exhaustion (and Daredevil set a high bar for fight choreography in these shows), Danny weaves and whirls and it's a quite different feel. I liked that a lot.

Let's face it, DD set the bar way high. I feel like I had to wince after seeing JJ thinking, "oh, it's all going downhill from here, isn't it?"

I did like IF, I just feel like I don't need to revisit it.

And Rosario Dawson was as unlikable and condescending in this as in Ahsoka.

I feel strangely alone in that I just don't like Rosario Dawson. I never have. Something about her reeks of wanting to show the nerds how she's one of the "cool" girls.

Lets not even get into Luke Cage - a guy who grew up in the wealthiest and fattest country in the world, lecturing Danny Rand - a dude who seems to have been up every morning at dawn since the age of ten fetching water in buckets and then training until dusk with men twice his age battering him with sticks. Fuck sake!

Writers these days for popular entertainment only work in one mode: if a white guy is having a confrontation with a black guy, privilege must be checked, and no corrections are allowed.

It's how Bucky just kind of rolls over and agrees with Falcon with shit in FatWS. You'd think Bucky would check him on how things have improved in the US, race-wise. Nope.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

Tom Holland would be exhausted and burnt the fuck out

this is the biggest reason, even bond films had to start going every other year almost immediately because starring in legit action movie big budget spectacles will fuck you up. Daniel ratcliffe developed a drinking problem just from starring in the HP year after year and the most physical those usually got was flicking a wand or sitting in front of a green screen.

who spent 10 years watching Agents of Shield for it to have nothing to do with anything

they're mentally challenged you shouldn't feel sorry for them.

Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man

that dude's 40 and starting to look it.

n and he almost kind of become like a "twin brother" of sorts to Peter by the end.

in life story he just becomes Peter's brother. Peter gets to retire and Ben gets to be spiderman until the kids grow up. If Sony wasn't such a fuck up life story is exactly the type of movie they should be releasing. Could even make it an event. It would even be a perfect Disney+ show. have a different actor play spiderman for each era a la "im not there" plus it would give them the chance to have Bruce Campbell play spiderman in his old age. Life story is the type of project you'd think Disney+ would be all over. its like Wandavision and forrest gump and you don't have to worry about bullshit canon.

 

[Stab You in the Back]

Jessica Jones was okay. There were some twists and turns and David Tenant was living the dream of getting to play a truly horrible villain after years of Doctor Who. I'm sure it was a great release for him and he was truly horrible in this. I didn't really like Jessica Jones herself though so that's a bit of a problem for a lead character. Still, it was alright. And I somewhat liked that they kept her strength somewhat on the down low hinting at it more than showing it.

I liked Jessica Jones because of the strength of the villain. You finally have a villain who isn't just a reskin of the hero and he's one of the most powerful and menacing dudes in the MCU. The second he walks into the room, its over. So the hero has to avoid him and try to figure out ways to beat him without interacting with him, which is difficult for Jess because she's a bruiser.

As a comic book fan, I like villains like that. I like it when heroes have to figure out how to counter villains' powers. Now, obviously, Jess beating Purple Man because she just decided not to be affected by his powers was dumb. I think Black Widow handled the same essential premise better (as loathe as I am to praise that shitshow of a movie), but it was a fun ride while it lasted. In particular, the episode where they trapped him into an airtight room was a blast.

 

[anti SJW]

Could be fun.

 

[CHARizard]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zDYgLsg7giU
Could be fun.

I thought I was totally done with these films but I am kinda excited to see this. I like Huge Jackman, and him being able to dismember guys in a rated R movie is enough to peak my interest.

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zDYgLsg7giU
Could be fun.

Lots of rumblings about the third act being pozzed.