💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

I could understand them maybe giving Hawaii another try, but the fact that they’re going to the same city, on the same island, flying on the same airline, and STAYING AT THE SAME PLACE as they did super recently (I agree I don’t think it was even a year ago??) that all gave them sooo much trouble that they were trying to use the damn local cops as a taxi service?! My God every single person in their family is the definition of insanity — doing the EXACT same thing over and over and expecting different results. Insane.

Thats the best part. She is exactly like lucas in that respect. She hated the utter shitshow they went through the last time they did that exact trip, yet the first chance she gets she literally tries to do it all over again and expects things won't be a shitshow again. Unless of course she knows it will be and is deliberately setting herself up for it so she can bitch about it to everybody. Its not like she can blame the whole thing on her dementia as larry is going along with it. Stuff like this really does make you wonder about the whole nature-nurture thing, as its clear how similar he is to his mother in alot of ways

and on that note, given how similar myrna is to lucas and his recent bizarre rants about farts I came across this and immediately thought of myrna:

I could absolutely see her doing that in her hotel room

All the Myrna lore makes me wish we had more King Roy lore.

Sometimes I wonder how much of the stuff online about lucas king roy has seen for himself. Considering how word must have gotten around the family about it he must have seen at least some of it. Can you imagine what would be going through his head on reading the stuff about himself, being called king roy and his shitty property becoming the elk kingdom, ruled over by king roy himself? and all because of his insane son bragging about how his dad is a king that will let him bring his mythical zoomer bae bride to be married there and spend the night in the hot tub after a royal feast? You have to wonder what his reaction would be to that

On a related note, seeing as my interim PC has rather small SSD and currently prevents me from installing half my steam library, I decided to fuck around with rimworld again and have started a new colony with lucas, king roy and myrna as the initial colonists. Its off to a good start, aside from the fact half my first crop has been eaten by a herd of rhinos. Yes, rhinos. In a mountainous forest region no less (seems to be some weirdness with animal generation in areas that don't make sense at times). Though lucas himself did end up requiring medical treatment after a runin with a pissed off group of porcupines. I didn't realize just how many new animals were added with the latest dlc. Though the world gen is a little weird and did stuff like having glacial plains generate in the middle of deserts and swamps for some reason. The current major food source is a large batch of turtle-berry pemmican, which seems oddly appropriate considering lucas's cooking and eating habits

EDIT:


Lucas thinks billionaires eat babies apparently


Trying to defend his grooming again

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Can you imagine what would be going through his head on reading the stuff about himself, being called king roy and his shitty property becoming the elk kingdom, ruled over by king roy himself? and all because of his insane son bragging about how his dad is a king that will let him bring his mythical zoomer bae bride to be married there and spend the night in the hot tub after a royal feast? You have to wonder what his reaction would be to that

Poor old dude just trying to enjoy his retirement to come online and find out he's been added to the Expanded Wernerverse

 

[WonderWino]

Says the guy who couldn't pass a remedial math class




Virgins have given birth in a few bizarre situations. Its not very common but it has happened at least a few times. Also dead people do occasionally come back to life, its called lazarus syndrome. But what the fuck is this whales running a hotel lunacy?


Lucas hasn't figuered out the whole free will thing yet. Because of course he hasn't. He legitimately thinks everybody does what the voices on the wind and background commander tell them to do. He's admitted this multiple times


Says the guy who tried to creep on teens on a bdsm site and got told to fuck off by a guy calling himself dildo gaggins


Lucas has convinced himself trump tortures and eats babies

Also, behold the latest addition to the elk kingdom:

I guess art imitates life more often than we think. I like to think he was talking to himself about his disappointment in raising lucas and now being reduced to taming rhinos, living in a mountain and eating turtle pemmican. Life in the elk kingdom is a harsh one after all

EDIT:


Lucas is going to have another night of spicy ramen shits it seems

Its yet another food he explicitly should not be eating. That shit got banned in denmark over health concerns and a woman in canada won a 10 million dollar lawsuit against the manufacturer cause the court determined it was manufactured too spicy to the point of causing serious stomach problems, and led to her developing an ulcer from eating it

 

[Stinkyboy]

Of course he's using a meme of a pedophile

 

[WonderWino]

Eating super healthy as usual I see


Lucas is starting to get angry about valentines day and making himself look even less desireable to women by admitting getting sushi would take up his whole monthly wage. Doesn't exactly show good long term planning skills, common sense or ability to provide. Lucas has also never had actual sushi in his life, he orders that americanized garbage covered in sauces to hide the fact it uses nearly expired if not expired ingredients and thinks he's eating gourmet

 

[Bassomatic]

Killing yourself is a great plan Lucas.

Honestly, Myrna is a fucking loon and she comes off the kinda crazy who can't hide it. Lots of loony women can fuck like wild and keep the crazy on the DL enough to hook a man.

TBH King Roy is smart enough to not be online but I don't rule him out not being a lolcow himself. I know we lionize him for the memes and he was smart enough to disown his faggot pedo child but he could be a nutter himself.

You have to be an incel to rant about V-day. I wish he pointed out it's about a Christian saint who died a virgin, much like Lucas will.

pizza rolls are the saddest food ever, and you can't change my mind.

Myrna is terminal online and has to see the shit he's eating and she's the one who dropped how bad his health is, this is KILLING him. She knows he's basically going to die and what does she do? Go on a trip. She's okay with him dying. She hates him because it bruises her ego.

I hope this trip is a worse shit show.

 

[HackerX]

Lucas is starting to get angry about valentines day and making himself look even less desireable to women by admitting getting sushi would take up his whole monthly wage. Doesn't exactly show good long term planning skills, common sense or ability to provide. Lucas has also never had actual sushi in his life, he orders that americanized garbage covered in sauces to hide the fact it uses nearly expired if not expired ingredients and thinks he's eating gourmet

The gall for him to say "after bills are paid". Lucas, you are such a splendid retard that you're not the one paying your bills. It's your conservator who takes care of that because the government has deemed you too much of a retard to use the money responsibly. What's worse it's not even your money, it's the taxpayer's from some God forsaken program you've never paid into outside of a couple dozen hours of part-time, minimum wage employment.


LOL. Lucas being big mad that every zoomer's answer is "yes".

So...why is looking at pizza with a dude's ass on it? New way to make him moo I guess. That an AI pregnant Lucas images.

Jesus.

 

[WonderWino]

Killing yourself is a great plan Lucas.

Honestly, Myrna is a fucking loon and she comes off the kinda crazy who can't hide it. Lots of loony women can fuck like wild and keep the crazy on the DL enough to hook a man.

TBH King Roy is smart enough to not be online but I don't rule him out not being a lolcow himself. I know we lionize him for the memes and he was smart enough to disown his faggot pedo child but he could be a nutter himself.

You have to be an incel to rant about V-day. I wish he pointed out it's about a Christian saint who died a virgin, much like Lucas will.

pizza rolls are the saddest food ever, and you can't change my mind.

Myrna is terminal online and has to see the shit he's eating and she's the one who dropped how bad his health is, this is KILLING him. She knows he's basically going to die and what does she do? Go on a trip. She's okay with him dying. She hates him because it bruises her ego.

I hope this trip is a worse shit show.

It wouldn't surprise me to find out king roy is some level of fucked in the head. After all he did think it was a good idea to get involved with myrna - a person who screams nuttier than squirrel shit just from looking at her. Even the old pictures from that era she had posted have my brain screaming stay the fuck away from her. Plus he stayed around long enough to get her pregnant a couple times. So he clearly can't be that bright. On the other hand he clearly didn't put up with all her bullshit, as by her own admission there were problems that led to her divorcing and fucking off when lucas was pretty young. While I don't doubt lucas himself was a big part of that I doubt it was the only thing that led to the divorce. He's clearly smarter than both lucas and myrna, as he at least has the good sense to keep a low profile and not engage with lucas very much. At least not publicly. and on the rare occasion he has done so its been to make a minor point, like trying to ask lucas if he was acting a little too obsessed with women. I wouldn't be surprised if lucas went batshit on him behind the scenes for that. We know how lucas feels about having that obsession criticized. We also know he has no problem going off at myrna over it, so he probably has little issue with doing the same to king roy. We know he has at the very least publicly bragged about cutting off his parents from his life at times

As for myrna she knows full well what lucas is, both health wise and as a person. She knows he's a predator and that no sane woman wants anything to do with him, hence the 'its not in the cards' stuff that pisses lucas off so much. That was her way of trying to make him understand that. She only cares about that insofar as she knows given lucas's noteriety, its not unlikely that if lucas should ever get chris hansen'd attention will get pointed at the rest of his family very quickly. Herself included. She knows that would make her look bad, both as a person and a parent and we know she hates being criticized or looked down on for anything. Its why she occasionally steps in when she sees lucas has gone too far in some situation - like the LA saga. Not to do lucas any favors so much as to prevent him from drawing attention to her. Its also the reason she is very careful about how she brags about him. Very little info, old pics, closed comments to anyone except her friends. She knows its a risk that people might have heard something and start talking about it but shes too narcissistic not to brag about how she is such a good mother to him and looks after him and how he's doing so well in his shithole nursing home situation and all that, and oh aren't I such a good mother for going to see him once in a decade, buying him a telescope that he has no use for beyond creeping on teen girls with and for taking him to gorge on food he shouldn't be eating and buying him alcohol he shouldn't be drinking. Its why she used to do the deflection stuff for him and randomly contact people criticizing lucas online. Remember how she tried to threaten some wernologist years ago with claims that lucas was unstable and that if he killed himself it would be that persons fault and she would totally go after him for it, and then basically got low key called on that shit and told to fuck off with those threats? I bet she did similar shit with teachers who criticized lucas to her back in the day. You dare tell me the other kids find lucas to be a creepy weirdo and don't want to associate with him?! I'll take this to the principal!

Like you said, she hates him on some level for it, but also knows she can't be overt about that and still has to play the part of concerned mother, if only for her own appearances. I won't be surprised if the trip is just as bad as the last time. She is the type that always finds a way to fuck trips up and find problems with them. The fact the called the cops like that during the first one speaks volumes and must have pissed the cops off to no end

I still don't get why she wants to go back there at all. Shes already been there recently. Considering how her health is going you'd think she'd want to use this opportunity to go somewhere she hasn't seen before. Maybe somewhere in europe or japan or even south america. But no, she has to go to the place she already hated the first time and the very place she went on her last vacation

The gall for him to say "after bills are paid". Lucas, you are such a splendid retard that you're not the one paying your bills. It's your conservator who takes care of that because the government has deemed you too much of a retard to use the money responsibly. What's worse it's not even your money, it's the taxpayer's from some God forsaken program you've never paid into outside of a couple dozen hours of part-time, minimum wage employment.

Exactly. Lucas isn't even allowed to pay his bills. If he was he would have spent it all on food and have been living on the street and back in the shelters years ago. The last time he had an actual situation like he is describing was when he lived with cyril and by his own admission he couldn't handle his money then either and was constantly 'starving to death' and literally defrauding people to make ends meet. His parents had to bail him out of that living situation and even then he still owed cyril money

That said, perhaps somebody needs to send him a picture of a pregnant lucas sitting on his own pizza. and of couse the guy who sexualizes everything accuses everybody else of doing that. Hell he has a history of sexualizing his food, not to mention fathers and their daughters

and on this valentines day of 2026 lets take a moment to remember why lucas is single and will never have a girlfriend:

 

[Stinkyboy]

Lucas' valentine is his risperdal

 

[WonderWino]

You can almost feel the seething from that post. and of course he throws in body count shit like the whole thing is about being slutty and not relationship centered and proves he's an idiot again


Proving he is an idiot yet again. and so is trevor noah apparently. Lucas is clearly too stupid to understand that nobody hates illegals more than legal immigrants

 

[Melas Zomos]

Happy not in the cards day Lucas

 

[HackerX]

Happy not in the cards day Lucas

God. I'm just imagining the glorious moo if some catfish, a Valentine's day card. An expectant Lucas, who is excited about the contents of the card. It could be anything! It could be nudes....,it could be cash...., it could even be the zoomer bae's address so he could move in with her to live a life of painful anal fisting and pick up the sticks. Then he opens up the card to read the dreaded text, "Better luck next time, Lucas. It's not in this card either." With Lucas's new living situation, access to foods he really shouldn't have, and him likely not taking his prescribed meds, we might get a reeeee reminiscent of old Lucas.

 

[WonderWino]

God. I'm just imagining the glorious moo if some catfish, a Valentine's day card. An expectant Lucas, who is excited about the contents of the card. It could be anything! It could be nudes....,it could be cash...., it could even be the zoomer bae's address so he could move in with her to live a life of painful anal fisting and pick up the sticks. Then he opens up the card to read the dreaded text, "Better luck next time, Lucas. It's not in this card either." With Lucas's new living situation, access to foods he really shouldn't have, and him likely not taking his prescribed meds, we might get a reeeee reminiscent of old Lucas.

He'd probably go full ralph wiggum if he got a valentines day card. Even more so if somebody used the same I choo choo choose you card. Thats the kind of shit lucas would legitimately turn into some creepy shrine in his closet and latch on to forever as proof some zoomer bae wanted him. Better to have it include some address to a supposed zoomer bae party and it send him to the address of the nuthouse, police station or some empty building. I wonder how long lucas would wait outside the building, convincing himself its like some movie where it looks abandoned but there is a secret party going on inside. Maybe have the card include a particular special knock or or chant or something as the password. Seeing lucas get caught on video doing weird knocks, whistles and blurting out random bizarre phrases to get let into the party would be hilarious and he'd never ever live it down. Maybe have the phrase be something like 'i'm a predatory pedo that creeps on kids don't let your daughters near me' in russian so he doesn't realize what he's saying would work

EDIT:


Lucas repeating the same batshit lunacy yet again. He's also showing just how weirdly obsessed with food he is. I mean he thinks people look at him with barbecue flavored confusion ffs. What the fuck does that even mean? He must always be constantly obsessing over food to the point it creeps into every thought he has

@Fatal Walter really needs to include the bbq flavored confusion thing in his next wern video

He's making more AI garbage for his newest game:

and of course the game is named after his looney rants about everyone having a herd mentality and going for the clones. Its surprising he doesn't have everybody wearing flatbills in the game

Its stuff like this that convinces me that him making these games has alot to do with some therapist telling him to do shit like this as an outlet for his lunacy to keep him from screaming on street corners

EDIT:

I came across these and immediately thought of lucas:


Somehow I suspect he would choose the free food for 5 years, reasoning that he could woo a zoomer bae with that and get both the food and some poonaner


Not sure if he would rather have this for a valentines gift....

Or this. You know lucas would eat every taco in there. and probably the flowers too

Also, I laughed way too fucking hard when this one popped up:

That just screams lucas on so many levels. Even fucking looks like him. I can absolutely see lucas's idea of a valentines date going like this, complete with him dressed like that

EDIT:

Yet another looney word salad of a food rant:

That statement doesn't even make any sense. He has no understanding of the words he is using

and another edit:

You aren't entitled to shit lucas and no it isn't

and this popped up and yet again reminded me eerily of lucas. I kind of wonder if showing him that would make him think its real and he'd actually try to find this place to visit

 

[Big Nasty]

If you make a heart-shaped pizza and turn it the other way it kinda looks like an ass.

 

[Stinkyboy]

PRO GOVERNMENT ANARCHISTS
hahahahahahahha what a fucking loon
i have to take a break from reading and come back, that's got to be one of the most idiotic things he's said

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas thinks the blue states carry the red ones. Been to any blue states lately lucas? Hows california doing lately? and wtf republicans demanding disability checks, food stamps, section 8 housing, obamacare and schooling from the government? Nigger what the fuck are you smoking? Blue states are riddled with that shit. Lucas himself has demanded and exploited every one of those things and lives in one of the bluest of blue states

The lack of self awareness and projection with lucas is astounding sometimes


Lucas having a retardly laughable understanding of how both politics and relationships work

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Proving he is an idiot yet again. and so is trevor noah apparently. Lucas is clearly too stupid to understand that nobody hates illegals more than legal immigrants

Well good thing the owners of my favorite Arepa restaurant are both legal citizens.

I came across these and immediately thought of lucas:


Somehow I suspect he would choose the free food for 5 years, reasoning that he could woo a zoomer bae with that and get both the food and some poonaner

You know it wouldn't be free gas because Lucas doesn't drive, and you know it wouldn't be the dog because 1) Lucas hates animals and animals hate Lucas 2) Lucas is selfish so wouldn't care about his dog

Oh gee Lucas I wonder how our species survived before industrialized housing was invented?

 

[Big Nasty]

Lucas can't understand the concept of an immigrant being a legal citizen.

 

[WonderWino]

Such a weird thing to say. Lucas really is obsessed with a food in a strange and concerning way. The way he said that absolutely gives off sexual undertones

and the best part is that is a shit quality fish. They're normally used as bait fish and live in shitty brackish water. Its not something to brag about at all

Also this randomly popped up in my recommendations and I immediately thought of lucas:

That title is lucas to a T

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Lucas can't understand the concept of an immigrant being a legal citizen.

He hasn't ever been outside of this country. I doubt he even knows many foreigners aside from that Mexican bum he used to hang out with.