Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Kingfisher9000]

just look at that outback steak video. He sat in the chow hall at mall on place with people around eating his steak with his hands and tearing at it like a fucking dog. and I loathe to say that because my dog has better manners than that and will outright refuse to eat a steak that isn't cut up into bitesize pieces for her. He did that shit like it was the most normal thing ever. People must have been looking at him like he'd lost his mind, especially the staff. and offering people, including that woman, pieces of steak he literally just tore apart with his mouth is literal caveman behavior.

I know Lucas has a strained relationship with utensils, but part of me feels like there had to be some reason, however flimsy, that he did this. Like maybe Mallon Place doesn’t allow residents to use sharp knives? Or maybe his shaky hands can’t hold the knife steady enough anymore? Obviously it’s deranged behavior regardless, but it was just so bizarre to watch that my brain kept trying to come up with a plausible explanation.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I know Lucas has a strained relationship with utensils, but part of me feels like there had to be some reason, however flimsy, that he did this. Like maybe Mallon Place doesn’t allow residents to use sharp knives? Or maybe his shaky hands can’t hold the knife steady enough anymore? Obviously it’s deranged behavior regardless, but it was just so bizarre to watch that my brain kept trying to come up with a plausible explanation.

I'm big on good table manners, and that video made me want to smack him upside the head.
One of the more repulsive things I've seen him do.

 

[HackerX]

I know Lucas has a strained relationship with utensils, but part of me feels like there had to be some reason, however flimsy, that he did this. Like maybe Mallon Place doesn’t allow residents to use sharp knives? Or maybe his shaky hands can’t hold the knife steady enough anymore? Obviously it’s deranged behavior regardless, but it was just so bizarre to watch that my brain kept trying to come up with a plausible explanation.

My bet is that Malon Place doesn't have cutlery available outside of dining hours
They probably allow personal utensils but no one should have expect Lucas to have his own set. Hell, Lucas has recorded his employment of makeshift utensils. Like the lid of a yogurt cup as a spoon or colored pencils for ramen. It's crazy considering food is what Lucas enjoys most and utensils are of great value to him.

Edit: Anotha Wern

Super giga out of sync because he's playing audio (or probably a video) in the background. The first few seconds are jom clearly trying to set the recording and the sound up. Lucas is also unaware that the Iran-Israel is already over, LOL. For now at least, anyways.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

My bet is that Malon Place doesn't have cutlery available outside of dining hours
They probably allow personal utensils but no one should have expect Lucas to have his own set. Hell, Lucas has recorded his employment of makeshift utensils. Like the lid of a yogurt cup as a spoon or colored pencils for ramen. It's crazy considering food is what Lucas enjoys most and utensils are of great value to him.

Don’t forget the improvised wood chip spoon for his cold clam chowder(?) lmao. It sort of reinforces the “Lucas has a literal caveman-brain” theory tbh. He sees nothing wrong with those videos, because subconsciously he’s showcasing his ingenuity or something.

But yeah, Mallon not letting the tards have cutlery on demand would make sense. As shameless as he is, I think he would’ve used a knife if he could’ve. But for some reason he couldn’t, and a lack of utensils will never stop the Wern from cramming his gullet.

 

[Melas Zomos]

Don’t forget the improvised wood chip spoon for his cold clam chowder(?) lmao. It sort of reinforces the “Lucas has a literal caveman-brain” theory tbh. He sees nothing wrong with those videos, because subconsciously he’s showcasing his ingenuity or something.

But yeah, Mallon not letting the tards have cutlery on demand would make sense. As shameless as he is, I think he would’ve used a knife if he could’ve. But for some reason he couldn’t, and a lack of utensils will never stop the Wern from cramming his gullet.

I think he did the same thing with yogurt too, and tried using colored pencils as chopsticks to show how creative he is.

 

[WonderWino]

My bet is that Malon Place doesn't have cutlery available outside of dining hours
They probably allow personal utensils but no one should have expect Lucas to have his own set. Hell, Lucas has recorded his employment of makeshift utensils. Like the lid of a yogurt cup as a spoon or colored pencils for ramen. It's crazy considering food is what Lucas enjoys most and utensils are of great value to him.

Edit: Anotha Wern

Super giga out of sync because he's playing audio (or probably a video) in the background. The first few seconds are jom clearly trying to set the recording and the sound up. Lucas is also unaware that the Iran-Israel is already over, LOL. For now at least, anyways.

Lucas thinks he's being smart comparing iran to the bs that led to invading iraq. He's too stupid to realize that a) israel is the one who started it and the US just did the bombing later and b) nobody is claiming iran has WMDs, the entire stated point of the bombing was to prevent iran from developing nukes

I wonder what lucas would do if somebody called him a nazi for criticizing israels actions over this

Lucas is an idiot

But yeah, Mallon not letting the tards have cutlery on demand would make sense. As shameless as he is, I think he would’ve used a knife if he could’ve. But for some reason he couldn’t, and a lack of utensils will never stop the Wern from cramming his gullet.

I don't know, lucas has a history of going out of his way to do weird shit like this because he doesn't see it as abnormal. There have been plenty of times he's done weird shit like this with food when other options were available. Its pure retarded hobo habits that he drilled into his own head that he rationalized. He no doubt thinks it makes him look smart

 

[L'homme qui a vendu le mo]

Coming back to re-read this, since I haven't been here in a while, holy shit I did not expect to see the recent events of Iran and the U.S. this could be fucking hilarious. (also I need to catch up I don't remember what the deal with the cutlery unless this is within the past like 5 months or something.)

 

[WonderWino]

He's still fixated on having $100 as a specific number that magically gets him a girlfriend. Not the first time either, remember how he spazzed out over the guy that was fucking with him about going to the bar with him and lucas went on that looney rant about how it didn't work cause the guy didn't bring the $100 that he said he would? Even after lucas admitted to spending what the guy did bring on drinks for himself

He literally referred to himself as being on a quest to find a girlfriend. Also, claiming he's a bit of a political revolutionary and immediately follows that up with i'm not saying i'm violent. Some revolutionary you are lucas. Lenin did more than lucas ever has even after having that stroke and becoming a fucking invalid in a wheelchair. You didn't see lenin sitting in the dayroom and a seedy saint petersburg ranting about needing 100 rubles to get a socialist girlfriend

Always the i'm totally not violent horseshit, trying to prevent people from finding out he isn't just violent he has a literal criminal history for DV including violating restraining orders and being violent. But if anyone dares bring that up he flips out, rants at them and blocks them while screaming that they're bigots who need to mooooove on. Totally what a non violent non abusers would do. Nobody is going to presume that i'm violent. Everybody that knows me knows that i'm non violent says the guy with a long history of violence, who did jail time for it, who got restraining orders for it and who is famous for the video with dan campbell where he tried to get violent. He talks exactly like one of those people who goes out of their way to tell you how honest they are and how they would never cheat on anybody out of nowhere when nobody asked and does it because they have a long history of both and are used to getting called out for it so they do that shit pre-emptively.

a lady into a guy my size might not see me as overweight, she might see me as cuddly and someone into her size might see her as strong instead of athletic or fit he says. Jesus fucking christ the delusions he has. He is talking like a predator describing how he thinks a little girl will see him who is too young and ignorant to realize he's a predator

Lucas absolutely oozes narcissistic predatory male feminist energy like its leaking out of his pores

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

lady into a guy my size might not see me as overweight...

He looks so extra creepy and mentally unwell. It's insane how long someone can stay in the same loop and only get worse. He's lucky he's in a cuck ass progressive state and not where I live. He's have been beaten many times over and over if he lived anywhere around here.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

The lack of $100 isn’t the reason fat boy can’t pull some tail, the reason he doesn’t have $100 is the same reason he can’t laid.

I started watching/listening to that 8 hour documentary on him this morning while working. It’s been awhile since I spent covid wrenching on the bike with his videos playing on the Garage Television and I guess I forgot the degree to which he’s utterly devoid of social skills or positive personality traits.

Even when I was awkward around women, it would never have occurred to me to cold call a woman and rant about socialism, age phobia and telomeres. I had an issue with ‘putting pussy on a pedestal’ (aka thinking I wasn’t cool enough to be in this chicks league). He’ll just call her a bigot.

What snapped me out of it was reading The Game by the fire pit one afternoon and coming to the conclusion that chicks just want someone who’s interesting. I worked an interesting job (I was on a helicopter every other week), I played guitar, I drove and worked on classic cars and bikes…. I had something to talk about that was interesting.

What does he have to talk about? To quote the philosopher Method Man, he expects to ‘make a bitch squirm for his super sperm’. His personality consists of anger at a society that he doesn’t understand and feels has wronged him, a religious belief in the sanctity of his jizz and an interest in extremely young women (that he uses his left wing politics to justify).

There’s no job, no pursuit of a better life, just magic cum, board games and ephebophilia. That doesn’t seem like a winning combination.

 

[WonderWino]

So I noticed this:

You have to love the irony of lucas living in the very town that is the birthplace of fathers day and ranting non stop about how he wants to be a dad. Sometimes the universe has a hilarious sense of humor. I suspect he isn't aware of this bit of trivia or he'd have put out some angry ranting videos about it by now

Also, given the basketball stuff I wonder how long it would take lucas to realize he was being insulted if some zoomer bae catfish started calling him a hooplehead and claimed it was some slang zoomers use to describe a person from spokane. Its not like he's seen deadwood i'm sure and I wouldn't be surprised to see him run with it and start calling himself that in videos thinking she used it as some kind of pet name to show her love

Oh boy would he be big mad when somebody inevitably filled him in on what it really means

 

[HackerX]

He's

I suspect Lucas is winding himself up over the $100 zoomer bae drink scam and getting more agitated as he goes. He probably manipulated himself into thinking he wasn't planning to spend the money on food and arguments with the voices on the wind commenced.

How is Lucas supposed to find a girlfriend without just a little money? Well, let's employ the Socratic method that Lucas loves to pretend he understands. Why doesn't Lucas have a little bit of money? Why has Lucas never had money? Why will Lucas having money be different this time than all the other times Lucas has money? His brain is magical because every time he fixates on a problem, his conclusion is always 20 degrees away from the actual conclusion.

"If you give me some socialism, you're giving me a little more money". LOL. It's not an exaggeration to say his interpretation of socialism means giving him money. Not redistributing money. Not giving money to the poor. Socialism means giving Lucas Werner money. That comment from a few days ago about him being classist is still bothering him though.

There's a spec there where he's over the top with his begging. Oh, you don't think he can pick up a chick with a $100? Put your money where your mouth is! <Watch as no one gives him money because everyone already knows the truth>. He'll then stop talking about not having a girlfriend because he'll have a girlfriend and that annoys the fuck out of everyone apparently. LOL.

Then finishes it off with him being a political revolutionary or something. Who knows. I think he's having a manic episode.

He's wearing his hat wrong even more than usual. Now it's crooked. How does he continue to do this??? Does he just place it on top of his head and call it a day when he feels initial contact? Is this some sort of autistic sensory issue???

Where is this fabled lady into a guy Lucas's size? They exist! He just can't find a lady into a guy like Lucas. And the fuck is he trying to get at with someone seeing her as strong instead of athletic or fit? I do not have a clue as to the point he's trying to make here?

It's insane how long someone can stay in the same loop and only get worse.

It's because he is insane. Not even lolcow insane. Just plain insane. Unfortunately for him, he didn't inherit the cool type of insanity like Terry Davis. He inherited the downtown schizohobo insanity.

I guess I forgot the degree to which he’s utterly devoid of social skills or positive personality traits.

What's interesting is that his lack of social skills tend to appear in any conversation he's a part of. Be it verbal or text. There are some stretches where he's seemingly participating in a convo and other stretches where he's clearly trying to continue his part of the conversation, even when the other party is attempting to steer it in another direction. Especially ones where he believes a prospective zoomer bae is at the other end. Those are by far his creepiest.

What does he have to talk about? To quote the philosopher Method Man, he expects to ‘make a bitch squirm for his super sperm’. His personality consists of anger at a society that he doesn’t understand and feels has wronged him, a religious belief in the sanctity of his jizz and an interest in extremely young women (that he uses his left wing politics to justify).

There’s no job, no pursuit of a better life, just magic cum, board games and ephebophilia. That doesn’t seem like a winning combination.

Au contraire. Those things are plenty good!

Oh boy would he be big mad when somebody inevitably filled him in on what it really means

Even if they did, he'd probably not understand and just keep asking the zoomer where the party is at.

Just took a glance at JimBallzzz Twitter (https://x.com/JimBallzzzYT) and found this, LOL.

https://x.com/JimBallzzzYT/status/1935315308635476328

https://archive.ph/wip/5XaV4

The man is committed to the larp, that's for sure. Though I guess you have to be to interact with Lucas via YouTube comments for years without being blocked. Kudos to him for not caving in.

 

[Da Dude123]

As for Lucas's ball cap. First of all, he pulled that from a donation bin. 2nd of all it doesn't fit him. Lucas has a very large head. That hat appears to be a low profile style of cap. Those caps do not fit everyone, and a big headed fat guy like Lucas, those type of caps definitely do not fit. Even the adjustability only does so much. Those hats are not deep enough for some people, Lucas being one of them.

Lucas has little fashion sense and most of his clothes gets from donation bins, with the exception of that science button down shirt he bought with his money he had while employed for 2 months.

 

[WonderWino]

As for Lucas's ball cap. First of all, he pulled that from a donation bin. 2nd of all it doesn't fit him. Lucas has a very large head. That hat appears to be a low profile style of cap. Those caps do not fit everyone, and a big headed fat guy like Lucas, those type of caps definitely do not fit. Even the adjustability only does so much. Those hats are not deep enough for some people, Lucas being one of them.

Lucas has little fashion sense and most of his clothes gets from donation bins, with the exception of that science button down shirt he bought with his money he had while employed for 2 months.

Lets not forget lucas wanted to buy that nick cage face shirt as well. Can you imagine him waddling around the nursing home wearing that? He'd look batshit wherever he wore it and you just know he'd wear it to a restaurant and think he was dressed to the nines

 

[HackerX]

Lucas has little fashion sense and most of his clothes gets from donation bins, with the exception of that science button down shirt he bought with his money he had while employed for 2 months.

It's his favorite because he wants everyone to know he's smart. He's rational. He's scientific. Except that is the exact type of shirt that you'd expect a retarded schozofrenic who moos about spring autumn equinox wormholes that'll deliver him a zoomer bae or something.

Was board and fucked around with Google maps around Malon Place.

One of those spots is where Lucas shoots the majority of videos. Front door and backdoor, but it's hard to tell without spending some time on it. My bet is the front door since we hear a door open all the time and Lucas promptly gets timid. I can't imagine being an employee there and accepting him yelling at the bigots by the front door, every single day, as a fact of life.

This is where Lucas recorded the cool skateboard tricks with the skaterboi, who immediately fucked up the ollie. It's right behind Malon Place. Wait a sec... What's that? Enlarge.

Interesting. I'm not saying that is definitively Lucas, but the posture is his MO. The jacket is also similar to something he's worn before. The photo was taken in July 2022, and that's in his Malon Place timeframe. Plus the jacket in July makes sense considering he's probably cold due to circulatory issues. Either way, it's definitely a coinflip.

This one is right down the block and I spot at least 1 potential red flag. A seemingly attractive woman is in the viscinity and may have overloaded Lucas's senses at some point. The sign is also of concern. Is that a typical crosswalk ahead sign or a children crossing sign? If it's the latter, ruh roh.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

It's because he is insane. Not even lolcow insane. Just plain insane. Unfortunately for him, he didn't inherit the cool type of insanity like Terry Davis. He inherited the downtown schizohobo insanity.

I swear on everything, I have a friend who is inevitably going to become like him. Living for free at random family's house until he fucks up, does meth for 2 or 3 weeks, almost dies, goes back to just being a bum as he recovers, complains about women not wanting to fuck his unemployed ass, raging on everyone, blaming everything around except himself, same thought loop since 2017, stalks his ex gf from that timeline, gets arrested for DV, repeat endlessly.

The best part was when I sent him a link to lucas' thread and he blocked me. LMAO. Nigga got so fucking mad when I told him that was his future.

 

[HackerX]

Oh boy! His perspective of the Israeli-Iran conflict. According to him, both are bad. So Israel needs to relocate to California because of Palestine and Iran needs to stop enforcing their religion or something? I'm not sure how either of those have anything to do with the Israel-Iran conflict, but who knows what goes on in his mind. Neither of them are offering him a zoomer bae so FECK 'EM BOTH.

Bonus: YouTube comments

Another instance of Lucas not understanding what's being said so he just moos.

Yeah, Dennis. WTF.

Edit: Anotha Wern

LOL. Apparently fat women are never critiqued but fat men are??? Obviously he has pretend conversations and arguments with himself all the time that do not reflect reality in any way, but it's crazy how much he plays into those arguments actually happening. He'll fixate in some random topic, stew on it in his schozofrenic mind for a bit, drum up his anger, and then moo like people said something to him. Fuck you, you fucking bigots!!!

 

[WonderWino]

LOL. Apparently fat women are never critiqued but fat men are??? Obviously he has pretend conversations and arguments with himself all the time that do not reflect reality in any way, but it's crazy how much he plays into those arguments actually happening. He'll fixate in some random topic, stew on it in his schozofrenic mind for a bit, drum up his anger, and then moo like people said something to him. Fuck you, you fucking bigots!!!

Fat women bitch about being criticized all the time. Clearly he spent all his time creeping on little girls on twitter and didn't pay attention to anything else. Lucas has apparently never heard of al bundy, legbeards or femcels

Perhaps lucas could kill two birds with one stone and become a shoe salesman. He'd have a job and learn first hand about fat women. At least he would until he pulled an irl al bundy and got his ass fired again

and yes this absolutely screams that he has insane conversations with himself that he can't differentiate from actual reality and things that really happened to him, gets confused, starts believing his own insanity and then gets pissed off about it. Those delusions he has about imaginary flatbills and zoomers must be something else. Its like he's living in a literal fantasy land that nobody else can see and it infuriates him. Though thats not too surprising considering his famous 'broker b' schizo rant video waddling down the street in the middle of the night recording himself having a manic episode about bernie sanders being a socialist savior while his brain got locked in a bizarre song loop of his own invention. Theres also that stuff about how lucas admitted in his 2010 reflections that when he had his first big mental breakdown he totally broke with reality and literally couldn't tell if the people and things around him were actually real or imaginary mythological stuff like elves and unicorns for literally months. He claimed that was cause they had him so doped to the gills that it made him like that but that was a clear lie, they had him doped like that because he was having such an insane break with reality and would have been a danger to himself or others if they didn't keep him that way for awhile

 

[HackerX]

Lucas has ended his brief absence with a discussion about.... Israel. Great. His political and/or economic rants are the most boring shit. I am surprised he didn't complain about money going to him directly though since that and "yeet me a zoomer bae" are the two themes of his life. Also, LOL. He thinks the US is so heavily involved with the Middle East because of oil. He's stuck on early 2000's talking points.


He replied to a days-old comment from an earlier video. Nothing particularly interesting besides him once again demonstrating his absolute lack of social skills. Kinda like in an earlier comment where someone said "Hi Lucas" and he just responded "Hello", lol.

Edit:
Anotha one. "Space Socialism". He's heating up!

Starts off with "here's my problem" which is funny because he's got dozens and dozens of problems that are more relevant to him than Space or socialism.

Other than that, typical boring "everybody should have everything for free" shit. Lucas has gotten everything for free his entire life without doing anything so I'm not sure why he's complaining. (Obv, I know why he's complaining, but you get the point.) Things he's complaining about that should be free, that he's either receiving or has received for free:

- Free Healthcare? Check
- Free Shelter? Check
- Free food and water? Check
- Free education? Check

Ofc, his issue is on two things.
1. He wants more.
2. The free things don't include a government-provided girlfriend. (My favorite part on that one is he's aware of the concept and very likely believes it's a thing. Ofc, if it ever were, he'd complain about that too.)

Honestly, even if he got the shit he was mooing about he'd feckin' destroy it immediately and complain some more.

Then something about climate collapse? Even if we were to take the crazy, non-scientific hullabaloo about climate change, the climate doesn't "collapse". He should probably lose Google access at this point because he's too retarded to use it. Something something Space socialism something something schizofrenia.

 

[WonderWino]

He actually said we need space socialism with a straight face, while wearing that shirt, and thinks its a good idea to mine large amounts of gold from space, as if that wouldn't absolutely fuck the entire worlds economy instantly. Yet another example of how lucas fundamentally doesn't understand even the simplest things about how anything works, let alone how absurd it is that it would ever be practical to resort to mining asteroids in space just to get fucking iron. and he legitimately thinks he's super smart saying this shit, like a misunderstood philosopher. I'm a bit surprised he hasn't started a second channel just for talking insane gibberish about science