Lolcows you miss/missed

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I miss ABoatsABoat. It kind of bothers me that Jeff (the non-lolcow brother who filmed everything) just kind of disappeared without a trace. The last I heard, he wasn't allowed on the internet, and his court date kept getting moved back. Never did get confirmation on whether that was real or fake, but if it was real, then he'd have probably had his court date by now. That was, like, two years ago that I heard that. In any case, I'd like to at least get some closure on the whole thing. Like, what happened to the diaper boy? Did he ever grow up and start acting normally? Burning questions that need to be answered.
 
Tehshigelisok said:
Another I miss was danfifepsu. I first encountered him around 2006-7, when he was making shopping mall articles on Wikipedia. All of them were run-on sentences with HORrible caPitalization and spelling, and I’m still amazed that even back then they didn’t just delete them on the spot for being an illegible mess. But at some point, he went rogue and started blanking Land Before Time articles or trying to put protection on them (which you can’t do unless you’re an admin), because they reminded him too much of his mother’s own death. This got him blocked several times, the last of which was indefinite. I still ran into him now and then in certain retail forums and blogs, making rambling comments and taking derped up pictures of Toys “R” Us stores. Other than this lovely video here, I haven’t seen hide or hair of him in years:
Click to expand...

This guy used to bug me on Flickr! He used to comment on all the toys r us pictures people would take (like an old location or a closing location) and just ask them stupid questions about the store every day, one comment after another. And of course, the picture was like six years old so nobody ever answered his stupid questions but he still kept pestering. I tried to tell him to fuck off a few times but it's like he can't read and would just ask another dumb question about the store underneath my comment.
 
From the early-mid '00s I recall a German or Dutch guy who went by "Kippfest" and who made really messed up porn in what looked like MS Paint or even KidPix. Subject matter included:

* Smurfs frolicking naked in a field with small children.
* Shaggy raping Scooby, whose doggy penis appeared to be infected and was oozing blood and pus.
* Mary Jane Watson giving birth to a swarm of spiders that eat her alive.
* Photoshops of Michael Jackson having sex with old ladies where "Michael" was a shopped-in shrunken head with a stick figure body.
* Dexter inventing a machine to rape DeeDee after cutting off and pickling one of her boobs.
* And my personal favorite: Minnie Mouse walking in on Mickey raping Pluto, whom he'd nailed to the floor crucifixion-style and painted to look like Goofy.

Possibly a troll, but then again there's a fetish for everything...
 
Pinball Lizard said:
From the early-mid '00s I recall a German or Dutch guy who went by "Kippfest" and who made really messed up porn in what looked like MS Paint or even KidPix. Subject matter included:

* Smurfs frolicking naked in a field with small children.
* Shaggy raping Scooby, whose doggy penis appeared to be infected and was oozing blood and pus.
* Mary Jane Watson giving birth to a swarm of spiders that eat her alive.
* Photoshops of Michael Jackson having sex with old ladies where "Michael" was a shopped-in shrunken head with a stick figure body.
* Dexter inventing a machine to rape DeeDee after cutting off and pickling one of her boobs.
* And my personal favorite: Minnie Mouse walking in on Mickey raping Pluto, whom he'd nailed to the floor crucifixion-style and painted to look like Goofy.

Possibly a troll, but then again there's a fetish for everything...
Click to expand...
You can still find much of his website on archive.org. I'd pin it down as the Dutch forerunner of Electric Retar.d (which also fell off the net a while back).
 
Last edited:
I also miss Gene Ray, the Time Cube guy and Donny Long, the PornWikiLeaks guy. Both of them seem to have dropped off the face of the earth and may or may not be dead.

UPDATE: Donny Long's still around and just as crazy as ever. He now has his own thread here.
 
Last edited:
The whole Brony phenomenon makes me miss the classic MLP spergs. I visited some memorabilia collecting circles a while back and there was a lady(?) who made absolutely terrible custom ponies using the original MLP dolls. Like Chris and the Amiibos.

I remember she ruseled some jimmies because she she occasionally used rare or uncommon toys to make her monstrosities.

On her own she wouldn't be noteworthy but the comments on anything she made were pretty funny. I wonder if she is still making stuff.
 
Last edited:
I don't know if I should post this in "obscure" but there was a 'fan artist' on DA named Ryan Cook. This... Was an eccentrically spiteful individual who lost sleep on his graphics, logos, stereotypical militant parents of particular ethnicity. His art wasn't the garden MS Paint variety.

If this Ryan Cook had notoriety past a day (or an article on Encyclopedia Dramatica), he could have provided so much more. Got depressing as hell though.

He apparently hit reset on multiple occasions, on multiple art sites, furry sites, nuking his contact lists and eventually degraded into ALL CAPS EDGELORD FASHION THREATS, GOING TO SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT MOTHERFUCKER. I like to say this is an exaggeration, but it isn't.
 
Last edited:
The Harry Potter fandom, at its height, was a positive treasure trove of cows, most of whom seem to have largely vanished off the face of the Earth. There were conspiracy theorists, pedoforks, spoiler-giving weens, literally homicidal shippers, appearances by Andrew Blake and similarly loathsome people, and even the head of one of the two largest fan sites had a memorable shit-flip when he tried to publish a reference book for the series without J.K. Rowling's permission and they predictably wouldn't let him. In my mind, though, nobody could out-cow "The Grangerverse," a pseudo-cultish outfit led by a person who called himself "Pstibbons."

Pstibbons was completely in love with Hermione Granger (and from what I remember he turned out to be a middle-aged man for maximum creep factor, though I may have gotten him confused with someone else) and he and his followers had a... rather offbeat theory about the books: Hermione, not Harry, is the actual protagonist, with Harry himself being a sort of decoy, or as they termed it "frontkick." They had a special loathing for more conventional fans who believed that, y'know, the guy whose name is in the title is the main character, and undertook a sort of guerrilla campaign to write "subversive" fanfics about Hermione taking what was rightfully hers.

Naturally, they were all atrocious. The Grangerverse believed that Ron was nowhere near good enough for Hermione, and most of the Grangerverse stories feature him meeting a grisly end, often involving rape. Harry and Ginny came in for bashing aplenty as well, but their fates were usually less visceral. A number of the stories also contained gratuitous gay sex, and there were at least two that featured Hermione giving up magic entirely to become a katana-toting, tracksuit-sporting mercenary, totally original you guys. Truly,. the Grangerverse are the counterculture icons society needs.
 
I miss Evan, aka "Alphawerewolff." The dude was basically the goth version of CopperCab, mixed with a slight amount of Jace, and he claimed to be a werewolf. It could have been a :ruse: but it was still entertaining.

For those who don't know who he was, he was a high school kid who made videos back in 2010 where he'd angrily rant about things that'd piss him off and stuff. He especially hated a classmate of his named Josh who'd make fun of him. His mom bought him an Xbox 360 and a TV to help him fit in with the other kids, and he destroyed both of them because he just wanted to be a "teen werewolf," and had no interest in fitting in. Memorably, he screamed "NOW SASQUATCH CAN PLAY HALO 3" as he threw his 360 into the woods. In another video, he saw New Moon from the Twilight series and got pissed that Bella ended up with Edward instead of Jacob. So, he stole a cardboard cutout of Edward from the theater and ran it over with his car.

His general attitude was that of your typical "angsty goth teen," though he also had some dudebro mannerisms. Again, it may have been an act. At times, he seemed a bit too self aware to be real, and some of the stuff he said was too "out there" to be believable. He was still fun to watch, though. His channel's not around anymore, but a lot of his videos are still mirrored on YouTube. If you're interested, just search "teen werewolf," and you'll find him. But people are lazy so I'll put some videos here:
 
Last edited:
I miss Jay Geis, The Golden Knight. There was something uniquely charming about his attempts to prove he was the perfect icon of heroism and virtue through his jellyfish and underage feet fetishes. I might just be nostalgic for it though because I actually had fun helping out with the wiki and the usual members for the thread/subforum.
 
Does anyone remember David McNamara, a.k.a. "Anti-Porn Guy?" In the 90s, he had a small, ugly website laying out the direction he thought America should take. It became a bit of a meme, thanks to passages like this:
A crazy guy from 20 years ago said:
I also support a ban on interracial marriage. While I am not racist, I believe that God intends people to marry within their own race. Any and all interracial marriages currently licensed should immediately be annulled, with any children born to said couple, allowed only to marry with other children of interracial couples.
Click to expand...
And this:
I believe in a national dress code. The National Dress Code (NDC) will be as follows:
  • All persons must wear clothing from their neck to three inches below their knees when in public or in the presence of children.
  • Women MUST wear dresses. Trousers are NOT lady-like and therefore, women ought not to wear them.
  • Jeans are to be banned.
  • Any profanity or sexual references on clothing will be banned.
  • Businesses must comply with the NDC. Failure to do so will require business owners to sell their operation to the highest bidder.
  • Failure to obey the NDC will be subject to a fine NOT exceeding $10,000 and/or up to 30 days imprisonment.
Click to expand...
And of course this:
Welcome to my site! My name is David McNamara and I am 19 years old.
Click to expand...
The original site is long gone, but happily someone has it mirrored for posterity.
 
McRascal said:
I miss Jay Geis, The Golden Knight. There was something uniquely charming about his attempts to prove he was the perfect icon of heroism and virtue through his jellyfish and underage feet fetishes. I might just be nostalgic for it though because I actually had fun helping out with the wiki and the usual members for the thread/subforum.
Click to expand...
I remember taking one for the team and buying his shit comics to "review". I still have them around here somewhere.
Handsome Pete said:
Does anyone remember David McNamara, a.k.a. "Anti-Porn Guy?" In the 90s, he had a small, ugly website laying out the direction he thought America should take. It became a bit of a meme, thanks to passages like this:
Click to expand...
This sounds familiar to me.

I miss @Cowlick coming here. Imported from Lush Stories Church just isn't the same.
 
Earlier today I recalled another one of the Harry Potter fandom's legendary cows. Her internet alias was "Ms. Scribe," and she was good friends with several of the big name fans and one of the main players in the "Harmony" movement, the lunatic fringe of the Harry/Hermione shipping fandom. She claimed to have an extremely tragic past that made a lot of people want to support her, and she gathered a legion of asspatters and generally became one of the most powerful shippers that ever shipped. She also acquired an equally large contingent of A-Logs

Eventually, though, the walls started coming down. First it turned out that, those asspatters? All her under different accounts. And the A-Logs? Also all her. She was engaged in an absolutely massive internet false flag operation, all to drum up sympathy for herself and increase her standing in the fandom. It's believed that a large part of the reason the "Harmony" contingent got as violent as it did was this one person and all the dozens of other people she was pretending to be. Even stranger, as far as I can tell, nobody's ever found her powerword, though her first name might've been Dionne. She's one of those cows you almost have to admire for how dedicated to their scam they are.
 
I really miss George4title. He was a lolcow on YouTube that I followed a lot when he was still active and long before I ever joined this website. The dude was fucking insane and his decline on video was crazy to watch as it happened and there was a ton of surrounding drama around him. He was a big fixture in the precious metals community with some very shady associations. ED has a really good write up on all the stuff he did and what happened. It's like he just suddenly disappeared after all that drama with him and the bomb threat happened. If he was still active and making videos just like that, I would have pounced on the opportunity to cover him in depth here.
 
Not really a lolcow but I found Marcel Adams very amusing before he past away. His love of food and Jesus was an inspiration to everyone.


 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom