🤝 Community lolcow.farm - /cgl/ meets /cow/ & female wizardchan; cuckqueaning enthusiasts

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@spiritofamermaid I liked tempcow too for the Onions, but I liked it partially for the reasons @Kaabi pointed out - principally that it drive the main Onion thread to absolute meltdown because they'd been so cunty they scared everyone away, and now all they could do was wail about Temp and how superior they were and how they should have the good stuff first and how dare others post it on Temp and...and...WAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!!!! Then an entire thread would devolve into a mighty bitchslap, 1200 accusations of being the cow itself, snark about sageing and general self-cannibalisation.

Any forum has its problems and difficulties but I've never seen anything that has a userbase like LCF. They put as much effort into hating each other as they do laughing at cows.....but they don't know who "each other" is so it just becomes a wall of hissing, and good users seem to get fed up quickly and either lurk or go elsewhere. But it makes me very curious as to who the hardcore are, and whether its an individual posse on each thread that sees off those they perceive as newbies or whatever other sin, or whether its the same clique roaming across several threads snarling at everyone else.

But what do I know? I'm Onion himself (apparently) or one of his minions or Joy Sparkle or.....god knows. Because if you don't follow the Brains Trust, you ARE the cow. Surreality at its finest.

The incel raids were funny as fuck tho, ngl.
 
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@spiritofamermaid I liked tempcow too for the Onions, but I liked it partially for the reasons @Kaabi pointed out - principally that it drive the main Onion thread to absolute meltdown because they'd been so cunty they scared everyone away, and now all they could do was wail about Temp and how superior they were and how they should have the good stuff first and how dare others post it on Temp and...and...WAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!!!! Then an entire thread would devolve into a mighty bitchslap, 1200 accusations of being the cow itself, snark about sageing and general self-cannibalisation.

Any forum has its problems and difficulties but I've never seen anything that has a userbase like LCF. They put as much effort into hating each other as they do laughing at cows.....but they don't know who "each other" is so it just becomes a wall of hissing, and good users seem to get fed up quickly and either lurk or go elsewhere. But it makes me very curious as to who the hardcore are, and whether its an individual posse on each thread that sees off those they perceive as newbies or whatever other sin, or whether its the same clique roaming across several threads snarling at everyone else.

But what do I know? I'm Onion himself (apparently) or one of his minions or Joy Sparkle or.....god knows. Because if you don't follow the Brains Trust, you ARE the cow. Surreality at its finest.

The incel raids were funny as fuck tho, ngl.


Hahaha I remember during one of the temp threads I asked about how the Onion house caused the people there to break out, like if the place was dirty or what (looking back it was obvious that it was stress-related). Suddenly people started accusing me of being Kittenprincess (can't recall the name exactly) who was more concerned about her breaking out than how abusive gurgs is and was even mentioned in the next thread's OP that Kitten (aka me) browsed lolcow farms. I wasn't sure how to think about that.

But yeah, one of the detracting things about being anonymous is half the time people can be "OMG YOU'RE X (or x's fangirls in onionboy's case)". It's even more obvious in that we would go through 4 temp threads in the time it took main thread to fill half and main would always complain. And then people on temp would go "it's so much nicer here on temp" [I will admit that I said this a few times because I got a 24hr temp ban for not saging my stuff. The non-unilateral-ness (can't think of the best way to describe it) of the bans is an oft-repeated topic.

Edit: I was re-reading it and you're right, the self-cannibalism that happens (especially when milk is dry) is ridiculous. It happens here sometimes as well, though not as much because of here's rule about "no crap too minor" (while I remember people were getting upset about myself and another anon's search for determining if his sockpuppet was actually a sockpuppet [I'm glad I didn't post anything after getting that smugness when it was proven to be his]). I know when I was reading the Shaner thread that it reminded me somewhat of that. I think what helps is the fact that the halal boards exist (though the Mystery thing was hilarious). I know KF is kinda referred to as "mostly guys" while lolcow is mostly girls. Tempcow can be pretty chill, and I talked for a bit there about how I think it's the anonymity + the live-typing (you don't know who it is but the live typing makes it intimate (I love seeing people typing who are obviously on their phones and stoned/drunk and we make posts encouraging them as they type, saying that "we believe in you anon")). In all honesty the biggest thing I miss about tempcow is the live-typing, I loved that.
 
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Yeah, I liked the live typing. Made me look like a cretin (shite tablet....or that's my excuse) but it was fun. The temp Onion threads felt much more like here - one-liners, asides without going waaaay off topic and derailing and far less of the BitchQueen Overlords of ThreadBan Hell.

I guess what everyone wants in a forum is different, but the gender mix here (that made us all sound like bemused trannies) makes it by far my fave. Boys-only forums get a bit mother's basement, girl-only ones have permanent PMS. I'm really not interested in taking chunks out of my fellow users; that's what I have colleagues for.

And I hope they don't see this cos crusty bumlick, but this is a great forum with great mods. The set up is bomb, its crazy user-friendly, and the mods aren't some kind of unseen Sword of Damocles that only swoop in to tell you off - they're part of the threads, accessible, but control things without going nuclear. It's ironic that the LCF thread on us bitched about supposedly crap mods who "changed their mind on a ban, hyurk hyurk" but that's a bonus part of KF, not some terrible, laughable issue. Mods interacting with the userbase and reacting accordingly, oh noes! Whodathunk THAT would ever be a good idea? Altho fuck trying to mod LCF. Must be a nightmare.

And that's enough being nice about them, they'll only get above themselves. As for LCF bans? I think its an initiation rite; you're a "newfag" until you get a ban. I dgaf there, whereas here I genuinely don't want to piss anybody off to the point of being booted. It's the perfect balance between anonymity and community....even if we are a community of complete arsehole loserds.

(Bonus whinge. Wish they'd stop with the "-fag" crap. Much edge, so coolthz.)
 
So I was over on lolcow farm telling them all the embarrassing secrets you guys wish you never told me, when one of their unpaid cuckquean janitorial hotpockets took offence at the beauty of the male form and banned me. They also deleted the tasteful selfie that I was banned for, presumably in a futile effort to prevent the lolcow thots from rising up in a bloody revolt the likes of which hasn't been seen since the July Days, doxing them down to their street addresses, running them down in the streets and tearing them limb from ruined limb for daring to take their precious and beloved Daddy Dynastia away from them. Unfurl the flag of glorious revolution, my comrades, it's time to eat the bitch.

In the meantime I'm going to answer them here, partly because I know somebody will see it and show them in the first ten or twenty minutes, partly because the panicked pm's you fags send me when you see me doing treasons are hilarious. So here we go.

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Fear and infamy? lol. I am a sped who posts on autism forums, not a mafia don. Everything I do online I do for the sheer gigglin fun of it, and considering you post on "Mean Girls; the Image Board" I'm going to assume you know exactly what I mean. If you don't, I'm not sure how to go about explaining it to you.

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Internet War Criminal is a second-generation immigrant to the USA, born to Muslim Arab parents from somewhere in the Levant. I'm guessing he had a rough childhood, because he sure doesn't much care for Muslims. He quit Kiwi Farms a while back in a hissyfit when he was told not to drunkenly spam "kill yourself" hundreds of times on the profiles of people who he disagreed with politically, and he hasn't come back since. He currently resides in Florida and works as a middle school teacher, although his job is now in question because he recently made some extremely racist and ill-advised comments in the classroom, getting his dumb ass suspended without pay. It picked up a bit of media attention, which I'm not going to link because of your weak af policies on doxing, but I'm sure you girls can find it if you look.

Rodger Rabbit was an extremely autistic teenager who basically just aggravated everyone here. I never paid much attention to him but I remember he always took the shittiest bait we gave him. He was kind of like an autistic forum pet for a while, people liked riling him up but overall found him irritating and annoying. Eventually he decided to brag about his internet girlfriend (who was a fat trailer-trash in her 40s) and made the questionable decision to post pictures of her, which obviously ended in us finding her and digging through her social media. We found a picture of her doing a duckface selfie over a Shiavo-looking dying cancer victim, which was fucking hilarious. I'm sure some of the people here still have the picture, it's kinda amazing. He quit after everyone started relentlessly bullying him over it, and his girlfriend started getting harassed irl.

Wildchild was an extremely autistic and mentally-ill-in-ten-different-ways male nurse and MtF tranny who showed up here gimmick posting his whole "Hi I'm wildchild, I like shapes and colors" deal, which irritated a lot of people, including Daddy Null. Unfortunately for them we found it hilarious how mad they were getting, so a lot of us would support wildchild and throw tantrums anytime Null even thought about banning him. Eventually WC thought it would be a good idea to write a lolcow thread on somebody he knew irl, and they immediately came over and doxed him, so he deleted the thread to try and hide the evidence. He got permabanned for that because we love doxing so much we can't ever forgive somebody for trying to cover up a good dox. He ended up wandering over to lolcow farms discord where he continued his weird gimmick, but then got increasingly more paranoid and delusional, obsessing over Clinton foundation murder conspiracies and whether or not the black people who lived across the street from him were trying to kidnap him into sexual slavery and sex trafficking. I don't know what happened to him after that. His dox is funny and the best part of it is his parents custody battle over him, where they both spent years fighting each other to not have custody over him.

By placebo I'm assuming you mean @wagglyplacebo. He is probably my favourite admin, he does good janitorial work and is almost always cheerful and friendly. That said, he's also morbidly obese and has a not-a-joke cuckolding fetish, in the degradation bdsm sense. Not even gonna judge or kink-shame that, good for him for not being embarrassed about what he likes, I just wish he wouldn't ask any more Kiwis to have cybersex with his wife because that's just creepy. I'm uncomfortable with the idea that he's getting a sexual thrill out of cleaning up my shitposts. He met a girl on Kiwi Forums and ended up moving across the country to marry her, and she once let slip that he suffered from (and still struggles with) pica, which is a compulsion to eat dirt usually only affecting pregnant women. It's pretty weird, and despite a lot of questioning he's never really been able to explain why he feels the need to eat dirt, although he has been going to therapy for it. He lives in the deep south now where his obesity doesn't stand out so much, and he enjoys punk music and culture. He's a nice guy overall.

As for Null's finances, I think they're doing okay now but I haven't talked to him about them in a while so things could have changed. He was considering changing his name a while back, but in all honesty that's not much of a solution. He'd get found within months. He's made some pretty good crypto investments, learned to keep quiet about projects he's working on so they can't be fucked with, and there's a certain foreign institute I'm not allowed to mention by name that may or may not have interfered with the US election and pays people minimum wage to shitpost on facebook in bad English. Kiwi Farms SEO and political discussion (along with a place for their gentle bears to hang their hats) is worth an American-size paycheck to them. Null's a good daddy and puts an insane amount of work into keeping this place running, and I don't see it going anywhere anytime soon. Cлава арстоцке, блять.

I'll do more questions later bc wew that's a lot.
 
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Owo made a bit of splash when she first arrived because she's brash, loud and unapologetically a degenerate furfag. She rubbed a lot of people the wrong way because they were mad everyone was talking about owo constantly, and it took them like a year to realise that the only people constantly talking about owo was them. It was pretty embarrassing. That said owo is a gross shameless furry transwoman who gets way too invested in Kiwi Farms happenings and sometimes gets overly emotional about it, which results in shit like the ass-puckeringly embarrassing Something Awful post, which we will never stop mocking her for. A lot of people think she e-fucked or flirted her way to the top or whatever but the simple truth is that she just got really interested in how KF was run and kept pestering Null with suggestions and ideas, some of which were stupid, some of which were pretty good. Null's actually dumpstered and calm-down-banned her a few times for getting too obsessively imposing about how she thinks things should be run, but at the end of the day she's a janitor because she cares about how Kiwi Farms and puts a lot of thought and effort into Kiwi Farms and nobody else is stepping up to do that.

Obligatory embarrassing secrets ; she's addicted to shit-tier herbal opiods, lost a ridiculous amount of money in a Turkish ponzi scheme in 2017, and now works in the periphery of the sex trade and complains about not being able to afford furry OC commissions.

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There's a story but it will get deleted and I'll probably get permabanned if I tell it here.

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I like to cook and I like video games and I volunteer time to socialise aggressive dogs.

@CatParty is not my bff at Kiwi Farms, he is actually my enemy. He got me permabanned from reddit by impersonating me and making gamergate people mad. He also spread the rumour that I am a vegan (I am not a vegan) and that I hate meat pies (I love meat pies) and whenever I post a really good meme he tells everyone that he posted it first and I stole it from him. He's a bad person. My bff on Kiwi Farms is @Cricket.

I think @Meowthkip is a great janitor because nobody else ever wants to go into the Tumblr forum and clean it up because it's seriously fucking horrible in there. She is a weird Team Fortress 2 fetishist in her late thirties. She never married and posts a lot of sex fanfictions on various tumblrs and fetish fiction sites. She owns five cats. I don't know about closet Columbining but it's no secret she really has a thing for bad boys, and the Team Fortress porn she's written that I've found and skimmed over is really heavy on amputation and snuff, etc. etc. I wouldn't be surprised if the Columbine shooters just happened to slot into that weird fetish because they're murderers, but I don't think she has a thing for them in particular. Everything I read was mostly starring video game and anime villains. Again, not gonna kink-shame. All in all she's a nice enough sort and has a lot of patience. Out of all our janitors she's probably the one we can least afford to lose because nobody wants her shitty position cleaning up after the Tumblr kids.

@Smutley is a former university teacher in his 40's who is now unemployed/self-sufficient/retired and lives in a very unpopulated part of Kentucky. I think it's kind of like a prepper's cabin and he grows a lot of his own food, hunts small game, and generally pays almost nothing in living expenses. He seems pretty happy with that lifestyle most of the time but you can tell the isolation must get to him in some ways because he's mentioned a few times things like how it's been months since he saw another person irl. Any time Kiwis talk about irl meetups he's always really eager to be part of it and tries to convince them to host it in his cabin, but when people don't like that idea (because it's halfway up the Appallachians and doesn't even have an address) he just drops out of the conversation. He doesn't seem willing to leave home, for whatever reason. All in all I think he's a good dude but there's probably some serious issues with agoraphobia or something like that that aren't being properly treated. I don't think I know anything really embarrassing about him.

I don't know if we have more trannies or more furries, all I know is we have too much of both.
 
because it's halfway up the Appallachians and doesn't even have an address

PO boxes are still addresses but to get here you need directions once your outside the town limits. Gps hasn’t updated this far out or this high up.

I never paid much attention to him but I remember he always took the shittiest bait we gave him.

He hated the idea of getting a job and working so much he wouldn’t even do small easy things for money. Someone offered him $40 to eat $1 in dimes and he threw a fit over it. He’d even get to keep the dimes and cash out the PayPal money but noooo too much work for $41.
 
I think @Meowthkip is a great janitor because nobody else ever wants to go into the Tumblr forum and clean it up because it's seriously fucking horrible in there. She is a weird Team Fortress 2 fetishist in her late thirties. She never married and posts a lot of sex fanfictions on various tumblrs and fetish fiction sites. She owns five cats. I don't know about closet Columbining but it's no secret she really has a thing for bad boys, and the Team Fortress porn she's written that I've found and skimmed over is really heavy on amputation and snuff, etc. etc. I wouldn't be surprised if the Columbine shooters just happened to slot into that weird fetish because they're murderers, but I don't think she has a thing for them in particular. Everything I read was mostly starring video game and anime villains. Again, not gonna kink-shame. All in all she's a nice enough sort and has a lot of patience. Out of all our janitors she's probably the one we can least afford to lose because nobody wants her shitty position cleaning up after the Tumblr kids.

I take it you've looked over my original not-fanfiction work, then?

Also, I resent the Columbiner accusation. Eric and Dylan are not even hot. They are uggos.
 
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Come on ladies, I thought you lolcow girls were supposed to be good at being catty? I expected better.

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You must be one heck of a trombone player. At least give your tongue a wriggle if you're gonna bury it this deep.

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It's hard to feel 'hate' for anyone you're not forced to interact with. Kiwi Farms is a place to shitpost around and have fun and dox people. At most I might get mildly irritated by some people here, but even that's silly. If you really pushed me to drop the semantics and answer, then I hate @CatParty the most. He is my enemy.

I don't really know who Null hates the most. He tends to sometimes explode on people in a white-hot rage over basically nothing and that gives people the idea he's just an adorable little seething butterball of hatred, but I can count the actual grudges he's ever held on one hand. He's actually a sweetheart as long as you're not a thinskinned crybaby who can't take the bants and sling them right back. If he hates anyone at any given time it's probably whoever's giving him the most administrative headaches recently, so I don't know. King of Pol, maybe. If he's not prolific and frequent enough we'll go with @CatParty again because I hate him so much and I'm projecting.

I don't care what cows other people discuss. If they don't interest me I just don't look. If obsessive spastics turn the thread into a hot mess then it's a fun place to just go in and dox people sometimes. So yeah I can't think of any that 'shouldn't be discussed'.

Null has lost some weight lately I think. He ballooned up into a fat piece of shit at one time but then he learned to cook some healthy meals and was shedding the pounds. He's still my chubbers lil' puppers, but I'm pretty sure he's not at his all-time high anymore. You should probably call him in for an AMA, he doesn't mind talking about himself to interested internet strangers.

The most shameful kiwi in real life? Who knows. It's always the little guys with 30 posts who surprise you by showing up on the news for failing another mass shooting or whatever. I think the most shameful kiwi I know of is @Alan Pardew. He was a long-term unemployed 'househusband' whose wife started having an affair with an Asian man and when he found out and told her to stop, she flat-out refused. He used to cry about it a lot in Supporters back before people realised everyone here is not their friend. It's all deleted now and he won't talk about it at all anymore so as far as anyone knows he still hasn't left her because then he'd have to find a job.
 
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Come on ladies, I thought you lolcow girls were supposed to be good at being catty?

That's cos half of 'em are us and they're too busy trying to slam everything shut. The rest are taking it all as gospel without considering the source (and I don't mean that rudely. As has been noted, LCF believe anything. It's rude not to try and wind them up.)

@Meowthkip The one that liked KMFDM was ok-looking. But that might be the KMFDM thing.

(Why am I even touching this incinerated spud that is still hotter than Venus? Fucking cracked in the head.)

Speaking of....an approximation of @Null 's inbox around now...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u6E9SLno8ic
 
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The site has been down for about 24 hours; new admin-sama seems to be about as on top of things as old admin-sama was, which is to say: not very.
 
They’re super cunty to each other too. I don’t except a site based around lolcows to be singing Kumbyah but Jesus, they go overboard.
They really are awful to each other! So many anons thinking they are able to police each other... “sage that shit” ... “stop blogposting” ... blah blah blah. It’s a giant bitchfest about anything and everything, including each other.
I browse the Momokun/Mariah Mallad thread and i can't count how many times people in that thread go off-topic and start fighting with each other. Sometimes the infighting is more entertaining then the lolcow themselves since they get so aggressive and give zero fucks if a admin steps in and starts banning people. You'll find people even going off-topic talking about nonsensical shit after one person mentions it and then it spirals into a discussion for a good 1-3 hours in between posts until an admin tells them to stop. At times, you wonder why they never shut the fuck up and just talk about the lolcow but then you wanna see some people fight over a stupid topic.

Say what you will about Kiwi Farms, but at least most of the users get along with each other. There's some teasing and occasionally an all-out slapfight, but for the most part we like each other. We've actually built a community here; the off-topic boards are super popular and have a lot of discussion even though they have nothing to do with lolcows.

I don't get the point of a website where most of the users are cannibalistic and actively tear each other down. You don't have to be best friends and have sleepovers or whatever, but it's not really productive to always be super bitchy and mean to your fellow posters.
 
I don't get the point of a website where most of the users are cannibalistic and actively tear each other down. You don't have to be best friends and have sleepovers or whatever, but it's not really productive to always be super bitchy and mean to your fellow posters.
For what I have seen, they justify it as a "chan culture" thing.
 
Say what you will about Kiwi Farms, but at least most of the users get along with each other. There's some teasing and occasionally an all-out slapfight, but for the most part we like each other. We've actually built a community here; the off-topic boards are super popular and have a lot of discussion even though they have nothing to do with lolcows.

I don't get the point of a website where most of the users are cannibalistic and actively tear each other down. You don't have to be best friends and have sleepovers or whatever, but it's not really productive to always be super bitchy and mean to your fellow posters.

There’s a fair amount of cannibalizing here, but it’s usually of people who go out of their way to make annoying asses of themselves.

There are a lot of genuinely nice people on KF. It’s one of the things that makes it a good community. People think we’re mean spirited, and some of us are, but a lot of us genuinely want lolcows to succeed, we’re just going to laugh at them until they do.

One of the things that makes me happy about the Beauty Parlour is that most of the regular posters aren’t catty and snippy with each other the way the posters can be on LCF or YTT or GG.
 
One of the things that makes me happy about the Beauty Parlour is that most of the regular posters aren’t catty and snippy with each other the way the posters can be on LCF or YTT or GG.

This was literally pointed out as a primary reason that people liked the temp site over the main site, and it led to a great deal of wailing and gnashing of teeth (and copious amounts of butthurt). Oh well.
 
Also, I resent the Columbiner accusation. Eric and Dylan are not even hot. They are uggos.
Eric is passable. But it freaks me out when there’s grown ass women lusting over dead 18-year old school shooters.
There’s a fair amount of cannibalizing here, but it’s usually of people who go out of their way to make annoying asses of themselves.

There are a lot of genuinely nice people on KF. It’s one of the things that makes it a good community. People think we’re mean spirited, and some of us are, but a lot of us genuinely want lolcows to succeed, we’re just going to laugh at them until they do.

One of the things that makes me happy about the Beauty Parlour is that most of the regular posters aren’t catty and snippy with each other the way the posters can be on LCF or YTT or GG.
I think most of the cattiness on LCF comes from it being an anonymous message board, like 4chan; so people say shit they wouldn’t usually, because they can get away with it.

I’ve noticed that a lot of lolcows on KF are far left sjws that believe they can get away with shit because of their “non-privileges”.
 
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