Life after prison - What happens if Chris is One Day released from prison

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Chris is going to come out a very changed individual from when he came in. He's been coddled for virtually his entire life and has rarely had, if at all, had to face the consequences of his actions. Pair this with the fact that he's never had his ass beaten before, and you got a guaranteed physical and emotionally scarring prison sentence. It's possible that Chris can adapt and learn to fit in overtime, however, with him being as slow-in-the-mind as he is, the odds of this happening are exceedingly thin.
 
Is there any known retards rich enough and stupid enough to support Chris after he gets out? (Ones that haven't disowned him by now anyways)

I feel like if he went to jail for something that wasn't so insanely evil he would have at least tens of thousands of dollars in donations when he got out, but since he's a motherfucker I'd be surprised if he even gets 1000. I want to see him back at the house for the sake of content but that's also not happening, no way he's still in the will for the house or has the financial ability to keep it.
 
Thirteenfifty said:
Is there any known retards rich enough and stupid enough to support Chris after he gets out? (Ones that haven't disowned him by now anyways)

I feel like if he went to jail for something that wasn't so insanely evil he would have at least tens of thousands of dollars in donations when he got out, but since he's a motherfucker I'd be surprised if he even gets 1000. I want to see him back at the house for the sake of content but that's also not happening, no way he's still in the will for the house or has the financial ability to keep it.
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He can go live with Kengle in the basement. I know Kengle did that gayass "excommunication" of Chris, but exclusive Chris content posted on Onionfarms is all he wants.
 
Ophelia said:
He’ll do little chimpouts, but he won’t immediately get kicked out.
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They probably won't kick him out, exactly. That takes paperwork. It's far more likely they'll get tired of his monkeyshines and simply not make any effort to stop him when he wanders off. After a few months they'll be looking for any excuse to claim he relinquished his placement. Then he'll be a problem for the police, not them.
 
I'm almost certain a group home or some kind of state sponsored tard wrangling program awaits chris. I wonder what it's Gunna be like for him
 
A-№1 said:
I expect a licensed private facility. That way his federal tugboat will pay for it instead of Virginia.
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Imagine Chris' face when he winds up in a state-supported facility and he discovers that his tugboat is completely shut off. If you're living in a government tard home they cut your benefits to zero. At least in a private facility the owners might let him have a small allowance left over, like $20/week.
 
Pointless Sperg said:
Imagine Chris' face when he winds up in a state-supported facility and he discovers that his tugboat is completely shut off. If you're living in a government tard home they cut your benefits to zero. At least in a private facility the owners might let him have a small allowance left over, like $20/week.
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For Chris, either possibility is worse than protected custody in prison. “Scot free” my ass.
 
True Gunt Radio said:
If they let him on the internet and he begs for money will he be allowed to keep that for toys or will that also be garnished?
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Pointless Sperg said:
At least in a private facility the owners might let him have a small allowance left over, like $20/week.
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If he's in a private facility it's very likely his tugboat will be sent to a designated payee¹. They will pay the tard home first, then medical costs, then clothing, and other bills like credit cards last². Anything left over³ is supposed to be placed into a savings account for future needs. Chris might be given a debit card to a checking account containing a small monthly allowance so he can make his own purchases of things like toothpaste and socks etc. but I don't know if some lego qualifies as a "personal comfort item".

The payee will have to keep track of Chris' spending, including any income he brings in independently, because if Chris grosses more than about $1200 in any given month, his SSDI benefits will be reduced or cut off. However the payee is not supposed to actually manage anything other than his SSDI benefits. If Chris gets $100 from some ween, his payee can't take it from him but will probably reduce his monthly discretionary allowance by $100 for that month and instead put it into savings for him. The payee will not be able to prevent Chris from blowing that $100 on some lego. That would require power of attorney or the like.

I hope this makes sense. Being a payee is a huge pain in the ass, and you can't even get paid for it unless you're a professional charity payee for five or more tards, and even then you only get compensated about $40 per month per tard.


Ophelia said:
Scot free
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Thank you for using only one 't'.

¹ Who may or may not be directly associated with the tard home. SSA prefers the payee be a trustworthy family member or friend, but let's be honest here: Chris doesn't have any.
² Any credit card bills may need to become overdue before the payee is permitted to pay them out of SSDI funds.
³ Which won't be much. Tard homes aren't cheap, and Chris has a LOT of credit card debt. He really should declare bankruptcy while he can.
 
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Pointless Sperg said:
At least in a private facility the owners might let him have a small allowance left over, like $20/week.
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Yeah they deliberately price them that way. The facility where Lucas Werner was apparently did that. A lot of these private facilities are basically just tard farms to harvest federal money, especially the bottom-tier ones where problem patients like Lucas Werner (and possibly Chris) end up.
 
From my own perspective, there are many different scenarios...

If Chris stays in prison and is charged:
  • Realizes he fucked up and finally asks for help
  • Seeks therapy
  • Becomes an atheist
  • Turns back to classic Chris
  • Becomes friends with other prisoners
  • Gets raped in prison
  • Becomes a prison snitch
  • Becomes a drug mule
  • Sells sex in exchange for smuggled vidya and extra food
  • Starts a new saga
  • Gets a IRL sweetheart or galpal
  • Makes a new comic that doesn't suck ass
  • Gets killed by another prisoner
  • Kills himself
If Chris released on a community order or does not get charged:
  • Charged for wasting police time
  • Continues to sexually harass women
  • Possibly rape Barb again
  • Barb & Chris reunite and fuck (If it wasn't rape)
  • Continues to beg online for money
  • Continues to ramble on about the Merge and being Jesus
  • Uploads a video about being Jesus
  • Makes new OCs (shittier than before)
  • Starts another saga
  • Starts a relationship with another OC
  • Gets kidnapped, raped & killed by an enabler (possibly Sockass)
(These are just a list of possibilities, none are in a particular order.)
 
A-№1 said:
a small monthly allowance so he can make his own purchases of things like toothpaste and socks etc. but I don't know if some lego qualifies as a "personal comfort item".
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If Chris is responsible for choosing between toothpaste and toys, how many teeth will remain by 2025?

A-№1 said:
Thank you for using only one 't'.
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I think I learned it from you :heart-full:
 
AnOminous said:
Yeah they deliberately price them that way.
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Having a designated payee that doesn't work for the tard home helps prevent that. It doesn't completely prevent it, but it helps.

A lot of these private facilities are basically just tard farms to harvest federal money,
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That's what happens when people vote to throw money at a problem instead of actually solving it. Even worse they also tend to vote for a bunch of feel-good regulations that the bottom tier tard depositories work around (or simply ignore) while utterly tying the hands of any competent social workers who actually want to help.


Ophelia said:
If Chris is responsible for choosing between toothpaste and toys, how many teeth will remain by 2025?
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I'm amazed he has any right now. Lord knows what his breath smells like. Also I don't understand how he hasn't already lost his feet to diabeetus.

Maybe he could replace his missing teeth with hot glue and some lego.
 
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Chris isn't going to change. With Chris' track record, trolls will convince him that Mary Lee Walsh had secretly organized sending him to a another dimension and set up Barb as a honeytrap to get him sent to Jail. Boom, he and the real world Barb never had a falling out in his mind.
Is there a record of a troll trying to get him to do violent things irl? ILJ might just come back and go for a Hail Mary. "Chris, you have to kill this evil Barb to go home to the real Barb".
 
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Chris reached an arrested development likely in high school if not sooner. Barb spoiled him beyond belief and Bob took half measures against chris rather then full measures. Had Bob imposed some serious deadlines and goals for Chris like "your getting a job or your getting kicked out!" Or "you gotta pay rent" or "buy your own car, you cant use barbs anymore" MAYBE Chris would have learned when he was in his 20s. But now it's too late for Chris to change
 
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