LGBTQiwis

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littlearmalite said:
I'd honestly say to give mixers/public outings a try. It's not exactly the most reliable method, but it's a lot easier to strike up a meaningful conversation with a guy you meet at a convention than a dude you talked to for five minutes on Grindr.

Then again, that's what's 'worked' for me. And by worked, I mean one or two dates and then them getting tired of me not putting out. Gay community is MONDO thirsty sometimes.
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I’m gonna have to give mixers a try, you’re definitely right about what you said. At the very least you have something in common with the person you met at a convention than you do grindr.

Edit: thank you
 
niconiconecro said:
I’m gonna have to give mixers a try, you’re definitely right about what you said. At the very least you have something in common with the person you met at a convention than you do grindr.
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Just be aware that if you live in the big city, the mixer's gonna be a definite shotgun blast in terms of quality of partners. A lot of them will be the type just looking for a quickie in the parking lot, but there are a few gems here and there. You just gotta try and read the language.

Good luck, friend!
 
littlearmalite said:
Just be aware that if you live in the big city, the mixer's gonna be a definite shotgun blast in terms of quality of partners. A lot of them will be the type just looking for a quickie in the parking lot, but there are a few gems here and there. You just gotta try and read the language.

Good luck, friend!
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Thank you, friend. I appreciate all of the advice.
 
niconiconecro said:
Thank you, friend. I appreciate all of the advice.
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Just to throw my two cents into the mix, I found my fiance on Growlr. I was upfront on my profile about looking for something long term though. We've been together for a few years and getting married next year.

Stranger Neighbors said:
Wait...wat? If you know what otters are you're gay? No one ever told me that rule! Otters are my favorite animal ask anyone! Second only to Bears and Leather Daddy's
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How's your gag reflex?
 
UntimelyDhelmise said:
It's unfortunate the LGBTWHATTHEFUCK is the way it is, because it makes it significantly harder for the rest of us who simply want to find a normal partner unless you get lucky. Because odds are the type of gay/lesbian person you could find yourself being with is avoiding that mess like the plague just as much as you are, so there's little chance of crossing paths. Hell, even if you do you'd have to be around each other long enough to find out you both go that way since neither wears their orientation on their sleeve.
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This. I often feel ashamed when I tell people I'm transgender (ftm) or bisexual because I don't want to be associated with a majority of the LGBTWTFBBQ community.
 
Phosphophyllite said:
This. I often feel ashamed when I tell people I'm transgender (ftm) or bisexual because I don't want to be associated with a majority of the LGBTWTFBBQ community.
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And never forget that because you don't jive with 'the community', you're not actually trans, and are instead a coon.
 
Dworky said:
I'm a lesbian, so count me as one for the team :gay:
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Hey, i'm largely on the Tuna thread, just seen this one, and can't seem to reply to the OP so this is the next best comment. I'm a cis girl, but i been dating a MtF for three years, who came out kinda a year into it, and we have a son now. It's a surreal experience, but we're compatible and i support it.
Absolutely no idea what sexuality that makes me. I don't really think it matters to me, but i have a strong preference for cock, although i am not entirely averse to the odd puss.

EDIT: SURF, where i am from in the UK, coon is actually a racial slur.
 
It's funny, not even a few years ago Grinder would've been my exact type of haunt were I a more extroverted person since I was only sexually interested in men. But now, I honestly just want a loving guy I can be all cheesy romantic-like with. Cuddling under a blanket in the dead of winter to watch a movie, going out to see the sights together, fancy dinner dates, the whole nine yards. Someone I can depend on and trust, and open my heart to.

...Too bad gay men like that are about as common as a Californian with a functioning brain.
 
UntimelyDhelmise said:
It's funny, not even a few years ago Grinder would've been my exact type of haunt were I a more extroverted person since I was only sexually interested in men. But now, I honestly just want a loving guy I can be all cheesy romantic-like with. Cuddling under a blanket in the dead of winter to watch a movie, going out to see the sights together, fancy dinner dates, the whole nine yards. Someone I can depend on and trust, and open my heart to.

...Too bad gay men like that are about as common as a Californian with a functioning brain.
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True
 
Phosphophyllite said:
This. I often feel ashamed when I tell people I'm transgender (ftm) or bisexual because I don't want to be associated with a majority of the LGBTWTFBBQ community.
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I'm actually bi but you'd never catch me admitting that anywhere but here or to my spouse. And rarely even here.
 
UntimelyDhelmise said:
It's funny, not even a few years ago Grinder would've been my exact type of haunt were I a more extroverted person since I was only sexually interested in men. But now, I honestly just want a loving guy I can be all cheesy romantic-like with. Cuddling under a blanket in the dead of winter to watch a movie, going out to see the sights together, fancy dinner dates, the whole nine yards. Someone I can depend on and trust, and open my heart to.

...Too bad gay men like that are about as common as a Californian with a functioning brain.
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Yeah some days I feel like I won the lottery with my other half. I wouldn't write off dating apps entirely, but you have to be very upfront that you're not looking for just a hookup (unless you are just looking for a hookup).
 
UntimelyDhelmise said:
It's funny, not even a few years ago Grinder would've been my exact type of haunt were I a more extroverted person since I was only sexually interested in men. But now, I honestly just want a loving guy I can be all cheesy romantic-like with. Cuddling under a blanket in the dead of winter to watch a movie, going out to see the sights together, fancy dinner dates, the whole nine yards. Someone I can depend on and trust, and open my heart to.

...Too bad gay men like that are about as common as a Californian with a functioning brain.
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Call me a cynic, but nearly every gay guy I've met who peacocks around like he's some hopeless romantic always ends up being the type of guy who should never be in a relationship. Co-dependency issues; the inability to set boundaries (especially with friends); unable to accept responsibility for their actions or inaction- that's just a small sample of the trends I've seen when dating these guys. Also being a massive, unlikable bitch. But, I tend to notice that one before dating them.

Gay people tend to protest things they don't like within the community silently. It's why so many of us avoid our local gay bars to the point they have to close down due to lack of income. No one wants to see two methed out, black trannies in a fistfight over a chaser unless they put down a bet. Gay men with a decent head on their shoulders will look at this, get freaked out like a normal person, and leave and decide not to come back. The trannies won't get banned for violence because of the whole "we can't further marginalize the already marginalized within our community" rhetoric. It's why Grindr got so popular in the first place- you didn't have to put up with other people's toxic shit in person to still have access to somewhere to meet gay and bi men. You also could block guys from interacting with you who were crazy instead of having to be cordial with them for your own safety.

This silent protest extends to relationships and dating. Because we have to remain cordial (due to having such a low population to work with), very few gay men are going to give or get constructive criticism on what they're doing wrong. The risk of a chimp-out is too high.
 
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