Let's Sperg Let's Sperg: Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition - The Adventures of Alabamy Tranny

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Dungeon Master, you've hinted a few times now we should buy supplies.
What actually are we carrying right now? I don't think we've ever had an itemized list of our inventory and equipment, as carried / worn by all the asspatters that follow Albamy Tranny around. I request such a list, so that we can know exactly what important equipment we're missing while we continue to blow our money on beer and legos.
 
Sammy said:
Dungeon Master, you've hinted a few times now we should buy supplies.
What actually are we carrying right now? I don't think we've ever had an itemized list of our inventory and equipment, as carried / worn by all the asspatters that follow Albamy Tranny around. I request such a list, so that we can know exactly what important equipment we're missing while we continue to blow our money on beer and legos.
Click to expand...
Here's everyone's equipment:

bjm805e.png

CTJvm2C.png

vqH5wKa.png

55AUzzj.png


Khalid seems to be prime packmule material.
ActualKiwi said:
Seconded. Except add in a dash of rumour-hunting, if that's a possibility.
Click to expand...
IceGray said:
Try another cuppa Elminster's and then get a room.
Click to expand...
You drink another mug of the beer.

And another.

And another.

and antrh.eo hyw's kthe room all fuzzy? ytou don't remember it being fuzzy.

DAByivh.png


harieja why are there three lof you
jaheria go hjome ynou're drunk
 
:1:.
As curious as I am to see what kind of crazy fan fiction this mod makes of Jaheria and Khalid's courting, Option 1 is the most autistic, and therefore the most in character.

((what mod is all the extra text anyways?))

Also I wasn't aware those pants were THAT snazzy. Maybe we should just wearing them instead.
Without identifying them.
Experimentation and discovery are the best paths to knowledge, yes?
 
Sammy said:
:1:.
As curious as I am to see what kind of crazy fan fiction this mod makes of Jaheria and Khalid's courting, Option 1 is the most autistic, and therefore the most in character.

((what mod is all the extra text anyways?))

Also I wasn't aware those pants were THAT snazzy. Maybe we should just wearing them instead.
Without identifying them.
Experimentation and discovery are the best paths to knowledge, yes?
Click to expand...
This particular set of text is from the mod The NPC Project for BG1. It adds extra dialogue a la Baldur's Gate 2 and Dragon Age, as well as love interests for the first game (aside from the EE characters), so you can talk to the characters and sometimes they'll comment or try to chat with you. It was almost made canon by BeamDog, and it makes the game less quiet.

Protip: Don't romance Ajantis, unless you like being on the receiving end of a "stay in the kitchen" mentality.

...What? It's called "Let's Sperg."

you ask jahaeir to tell yoqu about the mosuoiqtse

go to beid alabamy yeoru' dru,kn she ysas

fucky yuo jaqheira

Orqmutb.png
 
Are we too item to buy drunks?
 
ActualKiwi said:
Are we too item to buy drunks?
Click to expand...
You can still buy, but I'll be rolling to see if dear Alabamy actually goes through with your choices. She could wind up buying the wrong things, or even more drinks. She's drunk off her ass, after all. (Whadda lightweight.)
 
Arright, can we get a list of what's available to purchase? Like, nondrink stuff?
 
we shuord prubbubbly buy shum arruhs 'fer Albumy... *SNICKER* AL-BUM-ME, DYOUGETTID? AL-BUM-ME! Ah shurd wrote dah duhn.

anywuhs shum arrors fer albumby ahn fer mmmommen. dats shound gurd. *BURRP* Why doesh mu-mouf tashtse liek vommut?
 
Sammy said:
we shuord prubbubbly buy shum arruhs 'fer Albumy... *SNICKER* AL-BUM-ME, DYOUGETTID? AL-BUM-ME! Ah shurd wrote dah duhn.

anywuhs shum arrors fer albumby ahn fer mmmommen. dats shound gurd. *BURRP* Why doesh mu-mouf tashtse liek vommut?
Click to expand...
Dfnt'ly, needs sm pointy-things...yknw, o'rwise her wepn's js a staff. Couple...couple stacks f those? N mebbe sm glo...arm...brac..barcr...bracer things?
 
Sammy said:
we shuord prubbubbly buy shum arruhs 'fer Albumy... *SNICKER* AL-BUM-ME, DYOUGETTID? AL-BUM-ME! Ah shurd wrote dah duhn.

anywuhs shum arrors fer albumby ahn fer mmmommen. dats shound gurd. *BURRP* Why doesh mu-mouf tashtse liek vommut?
Click to expand...
ActualKiwi said:
Dfnt'ly, needs sm pointy-things...yknw, o'rwise her wepn's js a staff. Couple...couple stacks f those? N mebbe sm glo...arm...brac..barcr...bracer things?
Click to expand...

Okay, Alabamy. You can do this. Buy some goddamn arrows.

myou bpuy arrows. nice qpointy arrows. pjointy opointy pointy hee hee hee

I... have some concerns. Alabamy buys only one bundle of arrows for herself, partly because she's smashed and partly because Jaheira decided it was best not to have Alabamy handling pointy objects right now. She could poke an eye out. Imoen, however, is all stocked and ready to go. I took the liberty of selling off the angel skin ring and Infravision scroll because both items are useless. Especially Infravision.

ooooo a ucbl hehehe wanna igo jto hte club

...and Alabamy bought a club. Probably just to make that joke.

Seeing that there is a need for more pointy things, she buys... three spears. Even though nobody is proficient in them. After a few more rolls she did eventually manage to buy some more swords and daggers and even more arrows for Imoen. Imoen has no more space in her inventory after that.

shinise go bype sbye

She also managed to be sober...ish...enough to sell off the "shinies" in her inventory.
 
Heya Journal, its me, Imoen!

Boy what a crazy night its been 'ere. After meetin' up with Gorion's old friends, Albamy started drinkin'.... and drinkin'.... and drinkin' some more. I'm startin' to see why the old man only let Albamy have a single glass at dinner.

Anyways, Jaheira and Khalid both seem nice! Pretty patient too, as they said they would continue to stick with us, for Gorion's sake, even after.... the incident upstairs. Tryin' to see the silver linin' in the grey cloud, at least Albamy an' I don't gotta pay none to get a room tonight. Bad part is, it's startin' to smell. Either way thank Mystra that the innkeeper done hadn't come to investigate the weird noises earlier or we'd be all in padlocks. Still gotta figure out a way to get the body out 'fore the mornin' comes.

Anywho, after that, Albamy started to drink more and more, until Jaheira suggested we buy some supplies 'fer the road ahead. You know I worry 'bout Albamy these days. 'E always insists that 'es my big sister, an' that ain't nothin' t' worry 'bout, but truth be told Journal, Albamy never been really good at being bigger or a sister. Well, 'least she's doin' better at the later now while wearin' that belt. I'm gettin' off point Journal, but you know what that silly, uh, "girl", Albamy did? She bought a whole ton of spears! Kept sayin', "They're jus' like big arrows!" she did. Even tried to show how to fire one from a bow, but she just fell down instead.

We pretty much retired to our rooms after that. Well, the choice weren't really completely ours after what Albamy did next. After a few more drinks she saddled up to that scary lookin' half orc in the corner wearin' all the black tinted platemail an' tried to get 'im all seduced. She got all over at his table, an' started talkin' bout how gnomes know all the best tree an' ginger roots an' stuff, but he din't seem to be that impressed. She tol' 'em, "Come on up to my room, an' I'll teach you how to be a well trained slave figger." 'Least I think those were the words she used. He threw Albamy across the bar and drew his sword at that point. Albamy started sicking up on the floor after being spun around in the air like that, so we apologized and scurried Albamy up to the room after.

While up in the room, Albamy wouldn't stop sicking up over everything. I asked Jaheira if she knew any good druid shaman tricks tha' coul' settle Albamy's stomach, like some 'erbs or somethin'.
"Yes, I could do something," She said with a cold look in her eyes. Then she just stood there.
"Well, will you do it?" I asked. Jaheira jus' turned around then, went to her an Khalid's room, an' locked the door. "I don' think she's comin' back," Khalid stuttered out. Albamy jus' kept vomittin'.

Eventually, Khalid an' me figured out a solution to Albamy. Basically we just stuffed 'er upside down in a big barrel an' made sure she was good an' snug with enough air holes that she wouln' runoutta air. Not the bes' solution mind ya, but at least the sick ain't gettin' all over the floor and equipment anymore. Albamy got quiet a few times so I poked 'er in the foot with a stick, an' she made some groanin' noises an' started snorin, so I guess she's good like that.

Afterin' that, I snuck back down b'fore the inn shut down 'fer the night wit some o' the spears and other useless stuff Albamy bought wit our coin, askin' fer some refunds as we wern't gonna get much use outta it.
"No full refunds 'fer used weapons," said the Innkeep.
"Whaddaya mean 'used'?" I said. "We 'aven't even left the inn all night."
"If they ain't been used, then why do they smell like the inside o' someone's stomache?" said the Innkeep.
I took the lower refund.
Usin' that an' some of Albamy's coin I snuck out, I bought some more useful equipmen' an' finished up by buyin' some potions with wha' I coul' afford after.

Hey Journal, can you keep a secret? 'Course you can! Guess what I'm writin' you in?
That spellbook tha' Albamy wouln' let me have earlier! Seein' as she was busy fillin' the bottom of a barrel with her dinner, I gently 'liberated' you an' began usin' some o the blank pages to write you out, Journal! Its a shame this wiz'erd fella din't label none o' these spells tho, I can't make heads or tails outta a lot o' em, like where one spell begins an' another ends! I tried castin' one on Albamy for fun, it was called 'Soberius Explusorius' or some such, but I dunno if it worked or not, all Albamy did was sick up more in 'er barrel.

Well Journal, we gotta big long day ahead o' us, an' I still gotta figure out how to get that smelly body in th' corner out 'fore erebody gets up in the morn, so I'm gonna call it a night.

Goodnight Journal! Imoen, sneakin' off!
 
Last edited:
Sammy said:
Heya Journal, its me, Imoen!

Boy what a crazy night its been 'ere. After meetin' up with Gorion's old friends, Albamy started drinkin'.... and drinkin'.... and drinkin' some more. I'm startin' to see why the old man only let Albamy have a single glass at dinner.

Anyways, Jaheira and Khalid both seem nice! Pretty patient too, as they said they would continue to stick with us, for Gorion's sake, even after.... the incident upstairs. Tryin' to see the silver linin' in the grey cloud, at least Albamy an' I don't gotta pay none to get a room tonight. Bad part is, it's startin' to smell. Either way thank Mystra that the innkeeper done hadn't come to investigate the weird noises earlier or we'd be all in padlocks. Still gotta figure out a way to get the body out 'fore the mornin' comes.

Anywho, after that, Albamy started to drink more and more, until Jaheira suggested we buy some supplies 'fer the road ahead. You know I worry 'bout Albamy these days. 'E always insists that 'es my big sister, an' that ain't nothin' t' worry 'bout, but truth be told Journal, Albamy never been really good at being bigger or a sister. Well, 'least she's doin' better at the later now while wearin' that belt. I'm gettin' off point Journal, but you know what that silly, uh, "girl", Albamy did? She bought a whole ton of spears! Kept sayin', "They're jus' like big arrows!" she did. Even tried to show how to fire one from a bow, but she just fell down instead.

We pretty much retired to our rooms after that. Well, the choice weren't really completely ours after what Albamy did next. After a few more drinks she saddled up to that scary lookin' half orc in the corner wearin' all the black tinted platemail an' tried to get 'im all seduced. She got all over at his table, an' started talkin' bout how gnomes know all the best tree an' ginger roots an' stuff, but he din't seem to be that impressed. She tol' 'em, "Come on up to my room, an' I'll teach you how to be a well trained slave figger." 'Least I think those were the words she used. He threw Albamy across the bar and drew his sword at that point. Albamy started sicking up on the floor after being spun around in the air like that, so we apologized and scurried Albamy up to the room after.

While up in the room, Albamy wouldn't stop sicking up over everything. I asked Jaheira if she knew any good druid shaman tricks tha' coul' settle Albamy's stomach, like some 'erbs or somethin'.
"Yes, I could do something," She said with a cold look in her eyes. Then she just stood there.
"Well, will you do it?" I asked. Jaheira jus' turned around then, went to her an Khalid's room, an' locked the door. "I don' think she's comin' back," Khalid stuttered out. Albamy jus' kept vomittin'.

Eventually, Khalid an' me figured out a solution to Albamy. Basically we just stuffed 'er upside down in a big barrel an' made sure she was good an' snug with enough air holes that she wouln' runoutta air. Not the bes' solution mind ya, but at least the sick ain't gettin' all over the floor and equipment anymore. Albamy got quiet a few times so I poked 'er in the foot with a stick, an' she made some groanin' noises an' started snorin, so I guess she's good like that.

Afterin' that, I snuck back down b'fore the inn shut down 'fer the night wit some o' the spears and other useless stuff Albamy bought wit our coin, askin' fer some refunds as we wern't gonna get much use outta it.
"No full refunds 'fer used weapons," said the Innkeep.
"Whaddaya mean 'used'?" I said. "We 'aven't even left the inn all night."
"If they ain't been used, then why do they smell like the inside o' someone's stomache?" said the Innkeep.
I took the lower refund.
Usin' that an' some of Albamy's coin I snuck out, I bought some more useful equipmen' an' finished up by buyin' some potions with wha' I coul' afford after.

Hey Journal, can you keep a secret? 'Course you can! Guess what I'm writin' you in?
That spellbook tha' Albamy wouln' let me have earlier! Seein' as she was busy fillin' the bottom of a barrel with her dinner, I gently 'liberated' you an' began usin' some o the blank pages to write you out, Journal! Its a shame this wiz'erd fella din't label none o' these spells tho, I can't make heads or tails outta a lot o' em, like where one spell begins an' another ends! I tried castin' one on Albamy for fun, it was called 'Soberius Explusorius' or some such, but I dunno if it worked or not, all Albamy did was sick up more in 'er barrel.

Well Journal, we gotta big long day ahead o' us, an' I still gotta figure out how to get that smelly body in th' corner out 'fore erebody gets up in the morn, so I'm gonna call it a night.

Goodnight Journal! Imoen, sneakin' off!
Click to expand...
Sweet Silvanus, this is beautiful.

You awake the next morning with a terrible headache and your person at the bottom of a barrel, your hair soaked in your own vomit. How did you get here? You can't really remember. Something about figs? You could probably go for a fig right now, but you should probably get out of this barrel first. Gingerly you begin to rock it back and forth using just your weight until you fall over, the consequences of your drinking last night spilling onto the floor and down your back. You can hear several patrons gagging from the smell. Strange. When you leave your confines, you see that it's a sickly green. Weren't you supposed to vomit rainbows as a transwomyn? That's what the famous author Stofi Labell said would happen.

Nevermind. It's a matter you'll righteously complain about later. Everyone is already downstairs, sitting around a table.

Jaheira glares at you. 'Tis about time you awoke, she mutters, clearly agitated.

Why is she looking at you like that? You racked your brain as you tried to remember, but nothing comes to mind as to a cause. Maybe it's just Jaheira being Jaheira. Wait! Maybe it's because of the vomit? You should probably get a bath or something before you guys head out.

...Hey! Where'd all your spears go?!
 
We should go treasure hunting. The trees south of the inn look like a good place to start. Maybe we'll find a magic ring or something.
 
Find somewhere to get washed up. You don't want any monsters to chase after your new smell if you go out.
 
Is there a nearby watersource? Are we able to swim or are the people of Baldurs Gate all cucked by water?
 
Terribly sorry for the delay. I was doing... adult things. Yeah, yeah. Adult things.

...Okay, so I was playing Conquest.

IceGray said:
Find somewhere to get washed up. You don't want any monsters to chase after your new smell if you go out.
Click to expand...

ActualKiwi said:
Is there a nearby watersource? Are we able to swim or are the people of Baldurs Gate all cucked by water?
Click to expand...
You don't see anything around, so you might have to look elsewhere.
Those were your initial thoughts before Jaheira hijacked a bucket of water from the stables and dunked it over your head. The water was still cold from the chilly morning air, prompting a shiver fit. You're so oppressed and cry like the great martyr Pixyteri.

raymond said:
We should go treasure hunting. The trees south of the inn look like a good place to start. Maybe we'll find a magic ring or something.
Click to expand...
Treasure hunting is always a must in adventuring, even you know that much. You could use the extra money anyway. Thus you set out to find treasure among the trees.

Unfortunately, the only things you find are leaves and twigs. At least you have some toilet paper now.
 
caffeinated_wench said:
Terribly sorry for the delay. I was doing... adult things. Yeah, yeah. Adult things.

...Okay, so I was playing Conquest.




You don't see anything around, so you might have to look elsewhere.
Those were your initial thoughts before Jaheira hijacked a bucket of water from the stables and dunked it over your head. The water was still cold from the chilly morning air, prompting a shiver fit. You're so oppressed and cry like the great martyr Pixyteri.


Treasure hunting is always a must in adventuring, even you know that much. You could use the extra money anyway. Thus you set out to find treasure among the trees.

Unfortunately, the only things you find are leaves and twigs. At least you have some toilet paper now.
Click to expand...
Maybe we can make some alternative SJW art out of leaves and twigs. Is there anyone decided quest-giver-looking around? >.>
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom