🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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CobraAngel said:
josh still has a live on the other youtube he had set to go and its forever stuck on "waiting", sometimes i go in there and just stare at the 1 user waiting and feel sad that it'll always be waiting for nothing until the account closes down one day
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Have hope, one day it could fire up and the boy will be sitting there arms crossed puffing on his pipe ranting about how even death did not bother him.
 
Blue Miaplacidus said:
Have hope, one day it could fire up and the boy will be sitting there arms crossed puffing on his pipe ranting about how even death did not bother him.
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"What is up YouTube... I am back. Ozzy is good TWU, but if I'm gonna be honest Heaven was pretty boring so I asked the God to send me back. "
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
I can't imagine how empty Clint feels- he still has Tannis and the daughters, but Josh had been a part of his life for 34 years.
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Obviously not the same, but after I lost my old dog earlier this year, although my other dog is still here and is a huge comfort, she is a lot more independent and I struggled with a similar emptiness because my life had been so dedicated to his needs for so long. I remember feeling like nobody would ever need me the same way he did. It hurts my heart to think of how hard it must be for Clint to adjust to that after it being his normal for 34 years. I hope he’s doing okay.
 
Just A Rat said:
I struggled with a similar emptiness because my life had been so dedicated to his needs for so long
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I come from that same background. It's been 4 years and I still have a hole that's never been filled since their passing- I can't imagine a human being, even one as broken and demanding as Josh. I mean, he wasn't any other lolcow like NAL, Larson, or BMJ. He was a pure Boglim. He never meant real harm to living things, and his troubles usually just came back unto himself.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
I come from that same background. It's been 4 years and I still have a hole that's never been filled since their passing- I can't imagine a human being, even one as broken and demanding as Josh. I mean, he wasn't any other lolcow like NAL, Larson, or BMJ. He was a pure Boglim. He never meant real harm to living things, and his troubles usually just came back unto himself.
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I can't imagine how it feels for a parent to lose a child, even if he was a troubled person and he was troubled before his internet presence.
What fucks me up is the way Cobes died. You can call it a slow suicide. Fuck suicide, youtube.
 
KebabShopSauce said:
Was there ever a rundown of just how much Cobes was drinking? I've been searching around but unable to find anything concrete.
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It's hard to tell, because for the last several years, Cobes was drunk before he got on stream. He might only do a few shots for non-live content, but he was already stumbling and a lot more shitfaced than just a fucked up mouth slur.

He might have had a few shows where he was still coherent but starts to go downhill nearly immediately- like he took a few shots and waited until he started to feel it. I think he and Clint were at kind of an impasse, where Clint wanted him to drink less, so to humor him, he'd drink less on stream.

He had completely downed one of those huge Vodka bottles in 3 days (which is known), and that was at least a 1.75ml bottle, so that's 232 mL of pure alcohol a day (80 proof). A beer contains about 18ml of alcohol, so that's over a 12 pack/day.
 
Paul Revere Pantry Raider said:
It's hard to tell, because for the last several years, Cobes was drunk before he got on stream. He might only do a few shots for non-live content, but he was already stumbling and a lot more shitfaced than just a fucked up mouth slur.

He might have had a few shows where he was still coherent but starts to go downhill nearly immediately- like he took a few shots and waited until he started to feel it. I think he and Clint were at kind of an impasse, where Clint wanted him to drink less, so to humor him, he'd drink less on stream.

He had completely downed one of those huge Vodka bottles in 3 days (which is known), and that was at least a 1.75ml bottle, so that's 232 mL of pure alcohol a day (80 proof). A beer contains about 18ml of alcohol, so that's over a 12 pack/day.
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I think that was after ozzy died, ozzy's death ramped up his drinking heavily for sure.
 
KebabShopSauce said:
Was there ever a rundown of just how much Cobes was drinking? I've been searching around but unable to find anything concrete.
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It's a wild guess but he appeared to be downing a handle in two days by the end. That's just from it disappearing that quickly, and assuming he wasn't also drinking other stuff.
 
anliteralidiot said:
Think about it this way:
We're all fans of Cobes, but Clint was the biggest fan there was. Whatever loss we feel, Clint is feeling it a million times worse.

It's only been a few months, and Clint'll need years.
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i feel so, SO bad for him because no one deserves this sort of pain. im glad he has a lot of family support, for sure. hes gonna need it.
 
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anliteralidiot said:
Think about it this way:
We're all fans of Cobes, but Clint was the biggest fan there was. Whatever loss we feel, Clint is feeling it a million times worse.

It's only been a few months, and Clint'll need years.
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Losing your child has to be one of the worst feelings imaginable. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even my enemies. Clint’s pain will never go away, it may ease with time, but it’ll always be there. I just hope he doesn’t blame himself for his son’s death. From what we’ve seen, he truly did his best, and no good parent should have to live with that kind of guilt.
 
Theongogablogian said:
From what we’ve seen, he truly did his best,
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This is the reason why I particularly feel real hatred for the a-logs victory dancing about it. I’m actually really happy a lot more of the good, respectful tributes and things touched Clint in a good way, but you just know those shittier fucks that are bugging him incessantly probably haven’t stopped yet. I’m usually more of the kind of person that believes the whole “hatred is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die”, but being rude to a grieving father like that one fucking pedophile we doxxed deserve to have their house washed away by a rouge thunderstorm conjured by a warlock, to be completely honest with you, Toobz.
 
anyone else think it was his teeth that killed him so young and not even really the alcohol or food? lots of newer studies coming out on just how fast severe tooth rot and awful dental health can kill you specifically through heart failure. i think if he'd been brushing daily he would've made it to 45ish
 
The final tape showed up today and had this sticker with it:

kc-finaltape.png

Still feels bad, toobz. Stuck cycling between anger and sadness, and also boredom because I've yet to consistently fill the hours of cozy background noise that Cobra streams perfectly provided. Almost every time I'm cooking now I have this reflex of "why the fuck am I listening to this instead of-- oh." *sigh*
 
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