🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Dear adorators, it is with great sorrow that I bring forth this terrible headline to you all.

It has come to my attention that the greatest minds of our generation, the executives working for the benefits of the Kentucky Fried Chicken company, otherwise know as KFC, have retired the scrumptious "Double Down" offering on their menus across our country.

This act leaves me full of grievance. I simply cannot fathom what made them take the harrowing decision to taketh the double down from their offerings. Words fail me.

What demon or spirit possessed the executive of the Kentucky Fried Chicken company to, so to speak, take away the double down? Only the circle gods may know their intentions...
 
BallBuster II said:
He doesn't have any teeth left to brush.
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"To brush, or not to brush, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The bags of ice and sauce sandwiches of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troles
And by opposing end them. To drink—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The Puff-ache and the eleven herbs and spices
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a 'consume nation'
Devoutly to be wish'd. To drink, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to drink—ay, there's the dry rub..."
 
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mars said:
He did have Cobes in therapy, on meds and in special education classes. He even went back to school to study something related to teaching children with disorders (I don't remember the exact study). As far as under 18 childhood goes on paper he did everything he could for Cobes.
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Not everyone can be "fixed." Cobes is one of those people. Come to think of it, most of the lolcows in this forum fall under that category.
 
Pascal's Wagie said:
View attachment 6860636
"To brush, or not to brush, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The bags of ice and sauce sandwiches of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troles
And by opposing end them. To drink—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The Puff-ache and the eleven herbs and spices
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a 'consume nation'
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to drink—ay, there's the dry rub..."
Click to expand...
 
Begemot said:
Why doesn't Cobes brush his teeth, is it the typical ODD Goth badboi shit where he wants to eat shit food and get munted?
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It's a mix between:
- "I'm an adult, so don't fucking tell me to brush my teeth TROLL (aka Dad)"
- His teeth are too rotten and damaged, so toothpaste hurts him severely. There's a clip in one of @SeizureRobot5000's videos, the favorite moments' Snake Bones episode, I believe, where Cobra is in his first apartment and brushes his teeth with Crest 3D White for money, and he shows a pained expression.
- He's too lazy to put in the effort. Similar to his lack of bathing and laundry.
- He sees no reason to exert effort since it doesn't significantly affect his daily life. He can barely eat food and drink alcohol without struggling, but it's just enough for him to be content.
- He still gets of age, alive, non-related, consenting, and biologically female pussy, even with his bog mouth, so who cares. When Seizure was talking about Cobra's teeth in one of his videos, the question, "If Cobra's teeth keep women away, why doesn't Cobra brush them?" came up. With the NAL saga, we can safely say it doesn't keep all the women away.

He's also said he takes full responsibility for his teeth and accepts he might need dentures at some point. He's already accepted his fate. He won't be paying for them anyway, so it's not like he has to worry about the monetary cost.
 
gettingthatgrooveback said:
The boy has been more schizophrenic than usual lately, hasn't he?
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Not sure if his strike is for wishing P Niggy a slow AIDS death or for ranting about Jessica Boyle... again. I cant remember when his last strike was, I think this is strike 1.
somevan712 said:
He's also said he takes full responsibility for his teeth
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I love when he said he is just going to "let them rot out naturally". I suppose he thought it would be like your deciduous teeth which are typically painless when they fall out as a child.
 
gettingthatgrooveback said:
View attachment 6860348
The boy has been more schizophrenic than usual lately, hasn't he?
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He must have serious retard plot armour. Most channels would have been banned long ago for the shit he does. I can only imagine how bad it must have been that some Indian dude thought it should be removed (though chances are it was removed by computer).

Most I can figure is he gets reported so much actual violations fall through the cracks. I can only imagine how he would react to not having his YouTube celerity around to keep the paypigs fat and full.
 
Bixby Snyder said:
He must have serious retard plot armour. Most channels would have been banned long ago for the shit he does. I can only imagine how bad it must have been that some Indian dude thought it should be removed (though chances are it was removed by computer).

Most I can figure is he gets reported so much actual violations fall through the cracks. I can only imagine how he would react to not having his YouTube celerity around to keep the paypigs fat and full.
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Praise Cobras magic! That's what's keeping his channel afloat.
 
I know cobes has always had a sore spot for bitesize and people here think that bitesize is starting to sour on cobes in return but I don't hold that against him if that's true. It may just be a symptom of the content drought since there's nothing to pad time out between the videos he makes where he acts like a real shithead. But regardless of being a gormless alcoholic retard who drank and huffed himself stupid on spray paint, duster and bottom shelf booze, it's a real special kind of shitty to namedrop the other retard you bullied back in highschool and trying to self justify being an asshole to someone even more retarded than he is. And the usual "highschool crushes" loop.
Yeah the glass punching newfags are just finding out now about him and the guy who's mom died, however I don't really give a shit about gaylogs texting him non stop because the boy brings it on himself by constantly engaging with it and still refusing to change his number.
I guess now the loop can go "Hey you remember Josh Saunders, that weird kid obsessed with the cobras who used to stalk/bully you all the time in highschool? Yeah well now he's a fat, toothless, alcoholic who drinks and huffs duster while talking to himself in a corner all day.
At least there's solace that cobes is too much of a pussy IRL to do anything physical, even to someone below him.
 
the Carl thing is so obviously cobes projecting. he hates his mom, he feels uncomfortable around a mentally disabled person (because it causes him, at least subconsciously, to be aware of how most people perceive him) and he wants to have power over someone in some small pathetic way. so, yeah, the video is shitty and Josh is being a total dickhead, but i can't really fault an emotionally stunted retard for acting like an emotionally stunted retard.

it would be easier to excuse if modern cobes was like 'yeah that was going too far i was just being a edgy goth badass' but he's drunkenly rewritten his own past (again) to 'Carl was bullying me'. which is kinda more hilarious because he's claiming he got bullied by a downie
 
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This most recent cobra vid really proves that his memory is like a goldfish. It's always been but it gets worse as time goes on. He forgets that he already talked about something and loops thus why he said C's full name multiple times. Also he got them carps been carping lately. We can also never forget when he said "Double Down" over 88 times in one video.
 
There's rumors on the FB group that Cobra is involved with a woman named Catherine, who allegedly was introduced to him by warlord. If that's true then she's probably almost as fucked up as NAL.

Take it as false for now but that's just what I've seen.
 
Quandale Octavius Dingle said:
I know cobes has always had a sore spot for bitesize and people here think that bitesize is starting to sour on cobes in return but I don't hold that against him if that's true
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I'm having too much Boglim on the mind BUUUUT I don't fault Bitesize or others for souring on Cobes. The decline is real. I just don't really wanna watch people be bitter about a little retard online.
 
Begemot said:
Why doesn't Cobes brush his teeth, is it the typical ODD Goth badboi shit where he wants to eat shit food and get munted?
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ODD and he just wants to emulate the "rockstars" that he perceives as idols. Clint has said multiple times that getting Jord to brush his teeth was a chore because he would always fight back. Cobra also owns Ozzy's autobiography (I doubt he read it) and I read the same book a few years ago, and Ozzy was always explicitly intoxicated beyond belief or he would just be a smelly bum for fun.

It's just autistic fixation and ODD at the end of the day.
 
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