🐍 In the Clock Tower KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
I would bet every dollar in my saving account Josh is not 5'6".
711d7558c7684ddea0e1626502521acf.gif
sub nigga.png
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Phalanges Mycologist said:
Honestly I am hoping this move gets him chipper again I like happy josh and if he moved into one of those static caravan things that would be a larger living space for him.
Click to expand...
Agreed, but he must feel like absolute fucking dogshit every waking minute with the way he is now. Hard to be happy like that
 
Sicko Hunter said:
I would bet every dollar in my saving account Josh is not 5'6".
Click to expand...
you can tell just by his body alone, but also in relation to other objects such as
>the bed in that old pic
>the height of his waist relative to his stovetop
>his fridge
>his hogwitch

he's not a short guy. idk why some people want so badly for him to be a manlet.
 
Extra Dainty Gorl said:
Is that a stairwell behind him? And he's like... halfway up the steps? Again, puts the height of the handrail just above waist height when he's at the top. Average handrail height of stairs is around 32-38 inches, generally erring to be shorter cause us gorls are not as tall and generally more likely to use them. Unless there's a shot of him standing by the handrail at the landing, not on the way up the steps?
Click to expand...
Please fuck off back to the beauty parlor with this dumb shit. Go hypothesize on the circumference of a fat woman
 
Sitting all day doing absolutely nothing and drinking is a good way to atrophy muscles, especially the sitting part. His muscles have shortened up and atrophied because he doesn't walk or ride bike anymore and his posture is horrendous.
It's reasonable to assume modern cobes is an inch or two shorter than earlier cobes purely from wasting away.
 
Twinkie said:
he's not a short guy. idk why some people want so badly for him to be a manlet.
Click to expand...
My theory is Cobes kind of gives off manlet energy and we virtually never see him standing in his videos so people put two and two together and just assumed he was a short dude. Also his dad Clint is an actual manlet so genetically it would make sense he would be short too.
 
Sicko Hunter said:
My theory is Cobes kind of gives off manlet energy and we virtually never see him standing in his videos so people put two and two together and just assumed he was a short dude. Also his dad Clint is an actual manlet so genetically it would make sense he would be short too.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I agree. He's just not physically imposing, which kinda confuses the brain.

He's got a giant fuckin noggin in any case. I don't think I'd fully noticed that until seeing all these size comparison things.
 
Your Landlord said:
Sitting all day doing absolutely nothing and drinking is a good way to atrophy muscles, especially the sitting part. His muscles have shortened up and atrophied because he doesn't walk or ride bike anymore and his posture is horrendous.
It's reasonable to assume modern cobes is an inch or two shorter than earlier cobes purely from wasting away.
Click to expand...
You know if someone should crowd fund cobra anything it should be for a new, fully assembled bike. It's good for him, it's good for the people that watch his antics, good for everyone but seething retards that just want him to be miserable.

They say that you never forget how to ride a bike... I really want to see if that would hold up to Cobras dark magic infused bog brain.
 
Honestly I’d still take an autistic debate over cobras height over an autistic debate over wether or not he should be in a group home/why he isn’t already in a group home any day
 
The Bradtagonist said:
Josh consistently labels himself as "five-foot nine, six feet". Assuming he lies about his height like most men under six feet he's gotta be no more than 5'9.
Click to expand...
Sicko Hunter said:
I would bet every dollar in my saving account Josh is not 5'6".
Click to expand...
He thinks that a foot is ten inches. Ergo in bog math being an average 5'8" to 5"11 or even around the 65" to 70" mark in general would explain the thinking process behind the wild ass claim that he's "about six and a half... seven feet tall, hundred eighty pounds of pure muscle."
But throw in the Kingdom Hearts tier of comedic oversized walmart boots, and multiple layers of shirts, coats jackets, and hats he throws on now the extra clothing bulk does make him look larger than he actually is.
He's clearly normal, especially in that pic. Which is sad because he's really not even out of place there with any other slightly odd American mid-western goober.
 
1714000174604.png

Shot of him, from your video, on the landing, with the railing mid-rib height. Average height of the railings (which are attached to the post in the pic, just below his elbow/just above his waist) are usually 32-38", that's well above his waist, let's be generous and call it 40 inches, puts him between 60-65" tall. That's 5' to 5'5.

Idk who the rando dudes are, absent context, he is the shortest among manlets. I'm just here cause he found a bog hag.


Clip from the video in your reply: Top-freezer refrigerators are on average now 60.75" to 70.25", and the door is at least a foot behind him so the angles skewed too use that for a frame of reference.

1714001079627.png
He lives in either bottom-tier slumlord housing, or subsidized housing in a remote, rural place right? Like that stove of his hasn't been made in like 30 years, and that color hasn't been popular in about 40, at minimum?

Let's be generous and say it's been replaced with the cheapest possible mass produced bullshit available in rurality within the past 20, okay? That's probably actually better than whatever his landlord has installed, given the bullshittery they tolerate.

5-ish inches over 60 inches tall puts him 64-66 inches tall, that'd be 5'4-5'6.

Also, just for funsies, I rewatched the video and theres a couple of shots of him "in the closet" (I swear this isn't a joke about faggotry), but his belt in the video is just about the same height as the doorknob when he steps out of the closet. Average height of a door knob for housing of his era is around 34 inches.... guess where that puts his height?

If I were being generous, and caught a pic of him exiting a convenience store with the height sticker on the frame, I'd call him "maybe 5'8".
Sicko Hunter said:
I would bet every dollar in my saving account Josh is not 5'6".
View attachment 5935181
Click to expand...


Edited just to add this: IMDB says he's 5' flat. Are they reliable, probably not. I'm also not laughing at him but if that's your takeaway, okay. :smug::drink:


Robert w'E'd Leef said:
Please fuck off back to the beauty parlor with this dumb shit. Go hypothesize on the circumference of a fat woman
Click to expand...
That's been done, check Chantal's thread bbydoll.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom