Orbiter Kat Speculation - With guest appearances by her sister, Jenna

[Draza]

Honestly dunno why people are surprised that Phil can get women. Regardless of how gross or obnoxious he is or his perceived wealth, he has a memorable personality and a huge ego. Women love that shit. I actually think Panda Lee lost interest in him because he became so much more tame and boring than he used to be over the years. If anything it should encourage you. It doesn't matter how ugly or how much of an asshole you are, if you have no personality you will be alone for the rest of your life.

No he makes shitloads of money and has status, which will attract any women to his pathetic life.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

I mean... To be perfectly fair, DSP did manage to catch Leanna, but she was REALLY young when they started talking. Impressing an 18 year old when you're flush and at least somewhat confident is not really that big of a deal. The way Panda talked on online forums, she really liked Phil... But the money didn't not help, if you catch my drift. She admitted to wanting a comfortable lifestyle, some spending money, and being really horny. By the end, she was even openly complaining she was not getting enough.

If you're 18 and you're offered a free ride, sex, a cool house, and help to set up your own business... Fuck, I figure that'd be really hard to turn down. I have no doubt that had Panda struck out as a let's player, or became a rich soap tycoon, she would have definitely stayed with Phil, as long as the deal didn't change. However, Panda grew up, and settling for Phil started to look more and more like a terrible idea. The deal had changed, too. And the realization that the most the person you've loved for years would do for you if you had a panic attack would be try to monetize it, come to the hospital and eat your sandwich must feel like a kick straight to the nuts.

DSP's on the low side of average looking. I'm sure we've all seen prettier and uglier guys. It's his personality that turns people off, and I figure he's at least decent at putting on some superficial charm for a wine n' dine deal. He's also a compulsive liar. I seriously doubt any Kiwi reader would date Phil knowing all the shit he's pulled, unless she was also a shitty person herself. You can google Phil Burnell and the first page brings up the lolcow wiki. You can google pigroach and it's mostly images of him! That level of public scorn is kinda hard to shake off. Whoever willingly goes through with dating Dave either knows or doesn't even google. To make matters worse, Panda was good looking and fairly charming when she wasn't trying to be a Dave knockoff. The only thing that would turn people off was the skull-piercing voice. Phil knew this, and probably felt threatened. Then the last-ditch marriage attempt happened.

From what we know about Kat, she's probably had it a little rough. She depended on Subaru Man, and that relationship was floundering. She even came about as clean as she was gonna on stream. "I love being here with DOT DOT DOT -Idea lightbulb- Phil. It's a real improvement over where I was before..."

Really, I think Kat latching on to Phil as a provider for the short term makes perfect sense. Phil's being weird about it. Kat's dropped the "I want to stream too" bomb on his lap and he's dilligently ignored it instead of working out a schedule for the both of them to have turns on the business line, business PS4 and business PC. I feel to Kat, if she can make it work with Phil, become a streamer, and make the big bucks, great. She might even stay with him out of gratitude, though I wouldn't count on it. To Punished "The Guy" Philip however, Kat's nothing more than a trophy, a dangerous trophy that brings all the Tyrones to the yard, so she needs to have limited access to the internet, protect her powerlevel, share nothing, blog nothing, and DEFINITELY do not stream. Kat's positively odd looking, boring and smacks of being a "fake gamer grill" who just nods and likes everything. If Phil wasn't so spooked by Panda leaving, he might have been more normal about the relationship.

But really, not letting your SO do what they want, specially when it is within your means, SPECIALLY when it wouldn't even be any extra spending, just LITERALLY LETTING HER TAKE TWO HOURS A DAY ON THE BUSINESS STUFF, is a guaranteed recipe for failure. When Kat skedaddles to the next sugardaddy, she won't even have a linger of a doubt that this is the right move for her. After all, Phil was just a stepping stone, and he didn't even let her give streaming a go. What an asshole.

TL;DR: Dave attracts vulnerable women pretty good, but I doubt he could land a normal one. Even if he did, one google search and it's all over. Panda was too young to know better, Kat doesn't give a fuck because she needs support. I'm sure if we ran a tinder-style poll between Aris from ATP and Darksfadil, the former would get more hits.

 

[Phalanx]

Agree fully; yeah Soulmaid was a golddigger in the past but do you know what no one deserves the fate to be in lifelong prison hell with Dave. I completely forgot about her desire to stream. She is not terrible she at least seemed to enjoy it but Kat comes across as someone who enjoys games. Should she stop digging yes but I think she at least trying to rectify it because sadly it is a shallow existence that garners no happiness in the long term.

I feel bad for her as she clearly wants to do other thing but we know how much of a controlling cunt Dave is, Leanne was proof of that.

 

[thebonesauce]

I mean... To be perfectly fair, DSP did manage to catch Leanna, but she was REALLY young when they started talking. Impressing an 18 year old when you're flush and at least somewhat confident is not really that big of a deal. The way Panda talked on online forums, she really liked Phil... But the money didn't not help, if you catch my drift. She admitted to wanting a comfortable lifestyle, some spending money, and being really horny. By the end, she was even openly complaining she was not getting enough.

If you're 18 and you're offered a free ride, sex, a cool house, and help to set up your own business... Fuck, I figure that'd be really hard to turn down. I have no doubt that had Panda struck out as a let's player, or became a rich soap tycoon, she would have definitely stayed with Phil, as long as the deal didn't change. However, Panda grew up, and settling for Phil started to look more and more like a terrible idea. The deal had changed, too. And the realization that the most the person you've loved for years would do for you if you had a panic attack would be try to monetize it, come to the hospital and eat your sandwich must feel like a kick straight to the nuts.

DSP's on the low side of average looking. I'm sure we've all seen prettier and uglier guys. It's his personality that turns people off, and I figure he's at least decent at putting on some superficial charm for a wine n' dine deal. He's also a compulsive liar. I seriously doubt any Kiwi reader would date Phil knowing all the shit he's pulled, unless she was also a shitty person herself. You can google Phil Burnell and the first page brings up the lolcow wiki. You can google pigroach and it's mostly images of him! That level of public scorn is kinda hard to shake off. Whoever willingly goes through with dating Dave either knows or doesn't even google. To make matters worse, Panda was good looking and fairly charming when she wasn't trying to be a Dave knockoff. The only thing that would turn people off was the skull-piercing voice. Phil knew this, and probably felt threatened. Then the last-ditch marriage attempt happened.

From what we know about Kat, she's probably had it a little rough. She depended on Subaru Man, and that relationship was floundering. She even came about as clean as she was gonna on stream. "I love being here with DOT DOT DOT -Idea lightbulb- Phil. It's a real improvement over where I was before..."

Really, I think Kat latching on to Phil as a provider for the short term makes perfect sense. Phil's being weird about it. Kat's dropped the "I want to stream too" bomb on his lap and he's dilligently ignored it instead of working out a schedule for the both of them to have turns on the business line, business PS4 and business PC. I feel to Kat, if she can make it work with Phil, become a streamer, and make the big bucks, great. She might even stay with him out of gratitude, though I wouldn't count on it. To Punished "The Guy" Philip however, Kat's nothing more than a trophy, a dangerous trophy that brings all the Tyrones to the yard, so she needs to have limited access to the internet, protect her powerlevel, share nothing, blog nothing, and DEFINITELY do not stream. Kat's positively odd looking, boring and smacks of being a "fake gamer grill" who just nods and likes everything. If Phil wasn't so spooked by Panda leaving, he might have been more normal about the relationship.

But really, not letting your SO do what they want, specially when it is within your means, SPECIALLY when it wouldn't even be any extra spending, just LITERALLY LETTING HER TAKE TWO HOURS A DAY ON THE BUSINESS STUFF, is a guaranteed recipe for failure. When Kat skedaddles to the next sugardaddy, she won't even have a linger of a doubt that this is the right move for her. After all, Phil was just a stepping stone, and he didn't even let her give streaming a go. What an asshole.

TL;DR: Dave attracts vulnerable women pretty good, but I doubt he could land a normal one. Even if he did, one google search and it's all over. Panda was too young to know better, Kat doesn't give a fuck because she needs support. I'm sure if we ran a tinder-style poll between Aris from ATP and Darksfadil, the former would get more hits.

This entire post is a big reminder to why I totally get why she chose Dave and even more so, why it ultimately shows how scummy and shallow he is. He’s such a fuckin’ creep. In all honesty, Kat isn’t even 30 yet. She’s not even in her prime yet and she’s so fucking restricted in this relationship. What woman would go into a relationship with someone as painfully dull and horrifically mediocre looking as Dave, and be with him but ultimately being receptive to never having social media, never having friends over, never being able to stream like she clearly enjoyed doing, can never get him out of the house, etc? That’s what most normies would consider a controlling relationship. It’s that shit they show on Maury, women completely devoted to men they love, even though they’re locked into a bathroom and forced to drink from a toilet.

Kat has no freedom to be a person. She isn’t allowed to have any online presence (at least none that Dave or any of us are aware of). She never spends any time with Dave because of his weirdo, super autistic streaming schedule...

I ask you, aside from the comfort of a big home and monetary gain while saving to get out of Dodge, what the fuck does she have in this relationship? Because if we take Dave at face value (which we know that we should NEVER do), Kat jumped into this relationship and became attached at speeds only seen in two people who meet in rehab.

I genuinely feel like she’s telling him what he wants to hear. From what we understand of her previous life, even a weird, “relationship,” like the one we see here is a far better deal than what she left behind. She at least has some security with Dave, something she clearly didn’t have back home. Therefore it’s literally no surprise to me that she moved across the country with the first dope willing to believe they were star crossed lovers and willing to take her in, despite having no possessions or livelihood whatsoever. If I’m being totally honest, I feel like Dave knows just as much about Kat as we do; nothing.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

This entire post is a big reminder to why I totally get why she chose Dave and even more so, why it ultimately shows how scummy and shallow he is. He’s such a fuckin’ creep. In all honesty, Kat isn’t even 30 yet. She’s not even in her prime yet and she’s so fucking restricted in this relationship. What woman would go into a relationship with someone as painfully dull and horrifically mediocre looking as Dave, and be with him but ultimately being receptive to never having social media, never having friends over, never being able to stream like she clearly enjoyed doing, can never get him out of the house, etc? That’s what most normies would consider a controlling relationship. It’s that shit they show on Maury, women completely devoted to men they love, even though they’re locked into a bathroom and forced to drink from a toilet.

Kat has no freedom to be a person. She isn’t allowed to have any online presence (at least none that Dave or any of us are aware of). She never spends any time with Dave because of his weirdo, super autistic streaming schedule...

I ask you, aside from the comfort of a big home and monetary gain while saving to get out of Dodge, what the fuck does she have in this relationship? Because if we take Dave at face value (which we know that we should NEVER do), Kat jumped into this relationship and became attached at speeds only seen in two people who meet in rehab.

I genuinely feel like she’s telling him what he wants to hear. From what we understand of her previous life, even a weird, “relationship,” like the one we see here is a far better deal than what she left behind. She at least has some security with Dave, something she clearly didn’t have back home. Therefore it’s literally no surprise to me that she moved across the country with the first dope willing to believe they were star crossed lovers and willing to take her in, despite having no possessions or livelihood whatsoever. If I’m being totally honest, I feel like Dave knows just as much about Kat as we do; nothing.

See, I kind of view it the other way in that she's moved to a random new state with a guy who she must have known after their first couple of meetings and one google search was a fucking trainwreck that was still screeching slowly down the tracks and still picking up debris. And yet she still took the plunge.

If you think about it, Phil lives in his office or watches amazon on his TV for 12+ hours of the day, six days a week, while Kat is out at work, at the 'gym' or possibly having some semblance of a social life. If she's getting a free place to stay from some drunk who has zero backbone, pays a little bit towards bills and starts looking for places while having a roof over her head for now, she's actually got an okay set-up. Granted, I'm sure all of us imagine living with Phil as one of the nine circles of hell but I'd guess she just tolerates his shit until she moves out.

I doubt she sees Phil as little more than a stepping stone, judging by Subaru Guy's comments about how she dumped him for Phil in a flash, it doesn't exactly seem like she isn't above doing that. And Phil is an easy mark, just pat his head and spoonfeed him some compliments while he swills his gin and fast food, other than that she can probably walk all over him. Seeing how quickly he folds to the slightest pressure from a person online, I have no doubt that he's nothing more than a doormat in that house.

 

[GreasyPickle]

At the risk of stepping into an argument, I'll say that you're messages are level-headed. It's just the "jealousy" thing that's rubbing people the wrong way. "It's cool to speculate but you can't guarantee anything". You can't guarantee these people are jealous. It's not helpful to base opinions on it :/

I don't see how say "some people are jealous" would rub non-jelous people the wrong way. In fact it just exposes you. I never said @thebonesauce was jealous, or anyone else for that matter. So why are people getting upset because I use a word that they think doesn't apply to them I'll never understand. If you don't like the word 'Jealous" because of your in personal reasons, ignore it.

Anyways I don't understand these long winded thoughts being typed about Phils relationship. Women crave stability more than anything. Phil offers stability to young or damaged women and they will persue that regardless of how stale the man is.

 

[gaarashatan]

I don't see how say "some people are jealous" would rub non-jelous people the wrong way. In fact it just exposes you. I never said @thebonesauce was jealous, or anyone else for that matter. So why are people getting upset because I use a word that they think doesn't apply to them I'll never understand. If you don't like the word 'Jealous" because of your in personal reasons, ignore it.

Anyways I don't understand these long winded thoughts being typed about Phils relationship. Women crave stability more than anything. Phil offers stability to young or damaged women and they will persue that regardless of how stale the man is.

sounds like youre implying people here are jealous of phils life, and are getting upset that you would even make such a bold remark.

and phil stable, now thats a joke if i ever heard one

 

[thebonesauce]

I don't see how say "some people are jealous" would rub non-jelous people the wrong way. In fact it just exposes you. I never said @thebonesauce was jealous, or anyone else for that matter. So why are people getting upset because I use a word that they think doesn't apply to them I'll never understand. If you don't like the word 'Jealous" because of your in personal reasons, ignore it.

Anyways I don't understand these long winded thoughts being typed about Phils relationship. Women crave stability more than anything. Phil offers stability to young or damaged women and they will persue that regardless of how stale the man is.

Do you know where you are right now

Also, Kat got, “called into work,” on her day off today.

Some of y’all still wanna pretend things are just fine?

Yeah, there are many jobs where being called in means just that, you don’t have a choice in the matter... But if she was really invested in spending time with Dave, it wouldn’t be difficult to lie and say, “I have other plans/I’m not even home and won’t be for hours/I’m out of town/etc.” I’m pretty sure we’ve all done that at some point, I have. So let’s be real... Assuming she’s still around, she is starting to break away more and more and more from the Okay Corral. She went from having a set schedule to suddenly having to switch shifts and now all of a sudden has to be called in on days off... She’s trying desperately to get away. She’s following in Leanna’s footsteps.

 

[Haunter]

I don't see how say "some people are jealous" would rub non-jelous people the wrong way. In fact it just exposes you. I never said @thebonesauce was jealous, or anyone else for that matter. So why are people getting upset because I use a word that they think doesn't apply to them I'll never understand. If you don't like the word 'Jealous" because of your in personal reasons, ignore it.

I realize it may not have been your intention to dismiss others as "jealous". Statements like "That's why I believe some of you are jealous", "Stop being jealous guys and look at the facts", "Some of you even seem jealous he's even in a relationship" comes across pretty harshly. If even if you didn't mean it that way, I'm sure you can see how it could be interpreted as judgmental.

"Some of you just want to see the relationship fail more for personal reasons or jealously". Attributing others' opinions to personal faults like this invalidates them. It's not the "word that they think doesn't apply to them" "exposes" them. It's the use of it to belittle what they say that is "getting people upset".

Again, communication isn't easy. Communicating in text is even more difficult. Like I said before, you seem like a reasonable guy and wanted to correct some confusion in the conversation.

I hope this doesn't come across as prolonging an argument. It's a simple misunderstanding that can be easily remedied.

Also, Kat got, “called into work,” on her day off today.

Are you sure it was "called into work on her day off?" I only know what was posted here. Yesterday Phil was apparently saying Kat was working nights now :/

Oh, apparently Kat now works nights and goes right to the gym afterwords. Read into that what you will.

 

[GreasyPickle]

sounds like youre implying people here are jealous of phils life, and are getting upset that you would even make such a bold remark.

and phil stable, now thats a joke if i ever heard one

Yup.

Again I'm not singling anyone out, but some of these post that are wishing Phil would become single comes off as jealous to me. Sorry if people claiming they are not jealous are getting mad at me because I'm saying some of these posters are giving off jealousy vibes.

And yes Phil is stable. Not in the traditional sense since he relies on lying and manipulation to keep a roof above his head and food on the table. But stable is stable.

(Especially since I am quite sure he has been lying about his financial situation being in "dire straits" for a while now. I know what broke looks like and broke doesn't look like buying expensive bladeless fans in the fall time or buying a 4K TV with "donated money")

Do you know where you are right now

Also, Kat got, “called into work,” on her day off today.

Some of y’all still wanna pretend things are just fine?

Yeah, there are many jobs where being called in means just that, you don’t have a choice in the matter... But if she was really invested in spending time with Dave, it wouldn’t be difficult to lie and say, “I have other plans/I’m not even home and won’t be for hours/I’m out of town/etc.” I’m pretty sure we’ve all done that at some point, I have. So let’s be real... Assuming she’s still around, she is starting to break away more and more and more from the Okay Corral. She went from having a set schedule to suddenly having to switch shifts and now all of a sudden has to be called in on days off... She’s trying desperately to get away. She’s following in Leanna’s footsteps.

Yeah I'm on a forum where members decipher a person to an unhealthy obsession sometimes. I enjoy reading it. But just because my opinion is unpopular doesn't mean I'm too scared to say it.

We don't even know where she works so speculating there is trouble in paradise because shes working later is kind of premature. For all we know she might work in a 24 hour clinic. Also it's not weird to go to the gym late, in fact it's recommended because nobody is there.

I'm not saying there isn't a case leading for her to cheat, I'm saying come up with better evidence than what's been presented.

 

[Slander Man]

Yup.

Again I'm not singling anyone out, but some of these post that are wishing Phil would become single comes off as jealous to me. Sorry if people claiming they are not jealous are getting mad at me because I'm saying some of these posters are giving off jealousy vibes.

But just because my opinion is unpopular doesn't mean I'm too scared to say it.

Yes, actually, it does mean you are too scared to say it. Instead of calling out the inividual that seems jealous to you, you are generalizing that it could be anyone that has posted in this thread. This is why some people are upset. It's the whole "are you talking to me?" scenario. So instead of pussy footing around, call out who you mean.

 

[Kosher Dill]

And yes Phil is stable.

Well, every horse needs a stable.

 

[GreasyPickle]

Yes, actually, it does mean you are too scared to say it. Instead of calling out the inividual that seems jealous to you, you are generalizing that it could be anyone that has posted in this thread. This is why some people are upset. It's the whole "are you talking to me?" scenario. So instead of pussy footing around, call out who you mean.

This is like if I walked into a room of men and said "some of you are homosexual" and a few heterosexual men got overly offended. Lol why are you mad? I'm not talking about you if you're not jealous unless you secretly are and don't want to accept it.

I came here with the assumption of even though many are overly obsessed here, we are all still adults. I'm not going to point a finger at people and say "Ooooh look they're jealous!" like a little kid. Whats that going to prove or accomplish besides more derailment of this thread? Thats not my job and that's not what I came here to do.

Read your own post. Listen to your thoughts. If you come away with the conclusion that you're not jealous, SURPRISE! That means I'm not talking about you! If you didn't come to that conclusion and are ashamed of being jealous, then maybe you should redirect your energy to something else.

Simple as that.

Now im not going to explain myself any further, take what you will from what I said, but I would like to continue on with the main topic of this thread instead of going in circles.

 

[Haunter]

@GreasyPickle Alright, look at it this way: You only made your account yesterday, right? We don't know anything about you, other than your posts in this thread. The language you use comes off rather strong. We can't "read between the lines" the way we could if we'd had time to get to know you. The strong language stands out, obscuring the subtleties, ya know? This is why I try to soften the shit I write on the internet with "Ya Know", "I guess", "I think", etc, and smilies, cuz I know text can easily be misconstrued

As far as voicing an "unpopular opinion", this place is mostly a dumpster fire. The internet in general is pretty bad, really. You've gotta pick your battles, build-up some goodwill, be creative to resolve communication problems, or else you're gonna get burnt-out fast and leave in a huff.

If that doesn't help clear things up, @neger psykolog is going to have to be called to cool the slap-fighting, cuz we are currently without a Janitor :/

 

[gaarashatan]

if im not wrong, but she had a boyfriend. one with a job and car, etc etc, and she left to fly her ass all the way across the country to live in phils bigger house and be with him? cause she was chatting with him on the side? *not to mention while leanna was still with phil too* theyre both scumbags. wouldnt surprise me if theyre both cheating on eachother already. but they deserve eachother. so its hard to say

 

[samovski]

wouldnt surprise me if theyre both cheating on eachother already. but they deserve eachother. so its hard to say

I would be absolutely shocked if Phil was cheating. I'm still in shock he managed to find another woman so quickly after Panda. I can see Kat cheating though, every time she goes out to the gym or has to work late. There's a chance she's getting dicked down by Tyrone.

If she's smart though she'll throw Dave a bone every once in a while til she's nice and stable then she'll ditch. And not 1 person here will be surprised. Even his own "fans" won't be surprised. I wonder if even he'll be surprised. Or if he's kinda expecting it.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Seeing how quickly he folds to the slightest pressure from a person online, I have no doubt that he's nothing more than a doormat in that house.

Speaking of, therefore thinking of, I start to share this impression.
The reasons shall be ignored, just beware his behaviour like a peasant.

OOOH THE CAKE WAS SO GOOOOD OOOOOH

 

[gaarashatan]

I would be absolutely shocked if Phil was cheating. I'm still in shock he managed to find another woman so quickly after Panda. I can see Kat cheating though, every time she goes out to the gym or has to work late. There's a chance she's getting dicked down by Tyrone.

If she's smart though she'll throw Dave a bone every once in a while til she's nice and stable then she'll ditch. And not 1 person here will be surprised. Even his own "fans" won't be surprised. I wonder if even he'll be surprised. Or if he's kinda expecting it.

well remember, he didnt find her quickly. they were already chatting while leanna was still there

 

[KingjadVCMP]

I'd like to give a shoutout to folk recently joined from TKOH, contributing to this topic. Don't think Phil would approve of you being here though.

 

[andr0id psycho sho(ker]

I'd like to give a shoutout to folk recently joined from TKOH, contributing to this topic. Don't think Phil would approve of you being here though.

well Phil doesn't approve of anything other than asspats so that's to be expected