I keep hearing this but I have no clue how it even happens. How does any grown-ass adult end up in a position where they don't have a social circle of friends that keep inviting them to get-togethers, parties, weddings (Jesus christ so many weddings) and other assorted events on the regular? I'm actively trying to be a recluse most days and I still find myself dragged into way too many things by annoying and lovable friends/family/acquaintances.
First of all, you need to start to understand concepts like theory of mind.
Your brain vessel alone, though it has stood you in good stead, is not capable of understanding all the other brain vessels out there and the myriad of ways they interact.. You're an intelligent guy. Just not 'big-brained' enough to understand these universal concepts. It's why you're here. It's why I and people like me try to teach you.
It's not hard to fall through the cracks, for decades at a time. Some never make their way back. These are the men that drink themselves to death. Not vicious or gangster enough to go out and take, they turn their frustration inwards. Better to kill yourself than others. Because this kind of loneliness does cause a rage. Some men (it's usually men, women don't experience loneliness in the same way men do) crack completely and will target young kids. Some call them pedophiles, but 'pedophiles' is more a taxonomy to describe them. It's not accurate. These men want to cause destruction upon the society that has shunned them at every level. They are many. But few act out, thankfully.
And part of their frustration is the attitude of 'lol how hard can it be just grill go meet people make friends, loser'. It pushes them further outside of their boundaries. Yes, these men are losers. Takers of the short straw. But they aren't inherently more flawed than the next man who cheats on his wife with cheap whores, all the while, having kids in school, that he will lose, when wifey finds out about his sordid affairs and is so affronted that she quite simply can not carry on.
While men can keep sexual value through the later years, it is mainly through status and money. Women keep it no matter what. There is also a thing for older women and that is why you see 85 year old whores on instagram and onlyfans and your local craigslist. Young men, even 18 year olds love to fuck old geriatric women. Not all of them, granted, but more than 18 year old women want to fuck even a 35 year old male. Females select much more aggressively for age. Sure, she will take the 55 year old breadwinner with a yacht, if he's in good shape, but given the choice...
Anyway, this is getting too far off track, forgive me.
Suffice to say, as a man in his later years, it's very fucking easy to fall by the wayside and just become a thing everyone ignores and avoids. Friendship is pretty much out of the question as well, because well -adjusted men in that range are rare. The loneliness makes you crazy. The despair and the isolation makes you mad. And with every year it gets worse. And every male you encounter in the same age range, you know, has faced the same difficulties. So it's hard for even men themselves to bond at that point. And there's no way older women with families will take a risk. You are pretty much fucked if your age range starts with a '5' - you had best neck yourself, because this is all your life will ever be, apart from some serious embarrassments where you try to make friends. You only need to do that once or twice, before the inevitable.
The strong and the brave, take the rope. The weak and the pensive, take a drink.
There are no heroes among men in this age range.
Still, either way is an honourable way out. To cause carnage or to murder or to rape or to sow mayhem because of your inner rage/frustration - well that is still for the weaker men.
Some of us find a happy medium. We were never Alpha Males to start with. We find comfort where we can, perhaps in looking after older relatives. We know we will die alone. As we have lived for the past many decades. And for those of us that got to fuck super-models and to take the pick of the female of the species, when we were in our prime, well, that contains its own particular bitter-sweet blend of nostalgia, as well.
But don't cry too much for these men, the hollow men, those that have fallen through the cracks of life.
Because sometimes they get the band back together, falling back on their better grace - never giving in to bitterness - they learn to win the day with whatever they have at their disposal.
Though it's rare.
