🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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It would be the shortest homicide investigation in the history of the Jonesboro Police Department.
 
Just over three hours left for Sweet Bro to hit another Friday deadline. Will the Bad Boy of Containerised Micturation pull through, or will this be another edition of Fridays after Friday?

The suspense is literally absent...
 
K>C said:
@Dr. Merkwurdichliebe Sweets sounds like a criminal minds unsub, I feel like writing a character based on him.
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Literally the shortest episode of Criminal Minds ever.

Garcia: "Sir the victim was an administrator at ASU and there's this creepy guy named John Sweets who's been sending her death threats for twenty years."

Hotchner:

GW238H238
 
I have a feeling there's probably already a Criminal Minds episode that mirrors Sweet's story.

If not, we should work on a collaborative screenplay and submit it to them. Author: K.E. Weason. I suggest his murder weapon be a commemorative brick.
 
Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
I hope he's also aware that he's not likely to be forgotten by anyone who sees him on his way to commit the crime, at the scene of the crime, or as he flees. His appearance is quite memorable. And it's not like he hasn't been threatening all of his potential victims online for twenty years, which is not exactly the M.O. of your typical criminal mastermind.
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Well, plus his mother would have to drive him. Which is always awkward for a murderous terror spree.
 
Sweetie obviously has a lot of very important responsibilities. You can't expect him to put aside his busy job and social life to update his website for his "fans."
 
http://haggismccrablice.deviantart.com/journal/Aug-21-2015-555434829

He posted about an hour ago. No comic outtakes this time, just a long, meandering rant about his usual topics of ire. (The first half is disjointed even for Sweet, though, as he moves from the topics of smoking to niggos to computers and back to niggos, like some sort of schizophrenic Andrew Dice Clay).

The only new bit is that he reveals that he got a psych eval at a hospital back in college, and now he's "drafting a letter" to the hospital and if they confirm it was all just a conspiracy to get him expelled then that will cause his old nemesis Dean Greer to be fired.
 
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Holdek said:
now he's "drafting a letter" to the hospital and if they confirm it was all just a conspiracy to get him expelled then that will cause his old nemesis Dean Greer to be fired
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wat

Anyway, I'm letting someone else address that post for now. Responding to the same bull over and over can get tiring. Also, I see he screencapped posts by me again. And is that bit at the end what those standup routines in the cafeteria were like?

Also, Sweet just can't understand that:

Not all of us are progressives.
 
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Because people typically just pick up a ringing phone and tell whoever answers that of course, a person was falsely asked to come to a hospital and answer a bunch of questions for an hour or so, and that certainly, this mild inconvenience was part of a secret conspiracy! You know, the way people do all the time. They just... confirm conspiracies existed, partly because of course the person answering the phone is the same person who was doing it in 1997.

Goddamn. I mean, undergoing a psychiatric evaluation? He acts like they gave him electroshock, or a Randall McMurphy-style lobotomy (which would explain a lot), instead of asking him a bunch of questions. The nerve of some people, asking questions. (Also, typical attitude with the "maaaaagically" changing him. Uh, no, Sweets, nobody ever even hinted that therapy works without the active participation of the person needing it. No, the active participation has nothing to do with whizzing in a jar and admiring your own product, sorry.)

Also, nice child prostitution joke. Nobody told him that's not how pregnancy works, I take it. Instant fertilization = second-trimester cravings before the blastocyst even implants. I guess sex ed was too fancy for his high school, although to hear him tell it, those awful dark-skinned people would have offered him demonstrations if he'd had the money.
 
He posted a couple of caps of my posts too.
Actually, I am a progressive, and Sweet's characterization of us is straight out of Rush Limbaugh, that is, it has no resemblance to reality.
Also, he says he wants us to leave him alone. We are. No one's forcing him to come here and read this thread. Since he disagrees with most everything we say, and he knows we're not gonna change our minds, and we know he's not gonna change his, why bother to engage us at all?
 
The thing that fascinates me the most is the way that he edits out the vast majority of the posts he quotes, even going so far as to do it in a way that's less visually obvious. It makes me want to reply with the complete posts - or at least I would if I thought anyone other than the Kiwis were even reading it.
 
As the resident sjw always a bit sad he doesn't bitch about me.

But really how wack is his bootleg Andrew Dice Clay act? Like we all know he's a racist tool but Andrew Dice Clay was beyond tired at half past 97. Shits just wack now.

Rin said:
The thing that fascinates me the most is the way that he edits out the vast majority of the posts he quotes, even going so far as to do it in a way that's less visually obvious. It makes me want to reply with the complete posts - or at least I would if I thought anyone other than the Kiwis were even reading it.
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Does he reply to comments or ignore them?
 
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Rin said:
I have yet to see anyone comment on his dumbass journals, so it is a mystery.
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Even the creepy old guy that draws the big-titted muscle women won't notice him. He's kind of Sweety's senpai, really.
Heheheh, he mentioned a "hot crap game" in that journal and I genuinely thought he meant something to do with poop. I'm pretty relieved I just misunderstood.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
Y'know, of the vast catalog of problems Sweet has, one of the most troublesome is the crushing myopia that constantly leads him to believe that whoever hears his side of the story will instantly side with him. It is why, I imagine, he has told the internet so much about himself.
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And yet, no one, not even the AJM folks, or his own family, have ever taken his side on these things.
 
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That was the most delusional thing I've ever read.
He's convinced himself those things are real. He's not just living in the past, he's living in a past that never existed.
 
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