🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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The town they live in probably told Sweet's family to cut the grass and clean up the lot or they'd be heavily fined. From what we know of Sweet, it only seems fear of punishment motivates him.

Or, maybe, just maybe, he got sick of living in a dump and is taking the initiative to clean the place up. A little physical labor is good for people who are chronically depressed (and trust me, I'd bet my pre-ordered copy of Fallout 4 that Sweet is seriously depressed). I wonder if he's going to take it on himself to repair the roof and the hole in the house. It would be a lot of work, but if he got on one of those DIY sites, he could find instructions.

I realize this is very unlikely, but it's just barely possible Sweet's decided to change the things he can as a way of asserting control over his environment.
 
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I've always loved that phrase. "The bad boy of college journalism." It just, it's so myopic and self-congratulatory, isn't it? I've been extremely sick all day long, so I've been trying to think of different examples, but most of mine involve things that aren't so pointless. You can't very well say, "The Hero of Checkstand 7" or "The Renegade of Custodial Services" because those are actual positions you get paid for, and that might make a difference to someone. College journalism is so utterly pointless unto itself, in that there's an inherent understanding that you're writing mostly fluff pieces for love of the game and nothing more. That's not even to say I don't like or admire college journalism, it serves a purpose and sometimes the articles are good, but it's not really my first choice if I want facts and analysis for things that happen beyond the campus boundaries.

College journalism rules precisely because nobody gives a shit, it's a test environment, not unlike a college radio station or really any student position, there's lessened responsibility and the understanding that you'll be supervised, so you can make mistakes and learn from them. @trombonista had the right of it, I think: he tried to craft this image of being a stud in college, and this bad boy bullshit was part of it. Everything about his behavior at that time in his life screams, "I was really unpopular in high school, but I can totally reinvent myself here!"
Dinesh D'Souza actually initially put himself on the map by being a bad boy of college journalism. The difference is people actually got mad about his politics as opposed to being disgusted by his personal sanitation, it mattered (to the extent these things do, anyway) because he was published by an Ivy League newspaper, he went on to become successful in life, and he never used such a cringy term to describe himself.

About the only thing they have in common is having criminal records.
 
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Dinesh D'Souza actually initially put himself on the map by being a bad boy of college journalism. The difference is people actually got mad about his politics as opposed to being disgusted by his personal sanitation, it mattered (to the extent these things do, anyway) because he was published by an Ivy League newspaper, he went on to become successful in life, and he never used such a cringy term to describe himself.

About the only thing they have in common is serving time in jail.

D'Souza is a convicted felon, but he was not actually sentenced to any time behind bars.
 
Thumbface said:
And, finally, to those who read the "Modern Art" column last week and wonder about the cleanliness and the horrid pee smell, here's a fact for you@: until acted upon by bacteria and environmental pathogens, human urine, like sweat, is actually clean and relatively odorless.
Hey Sweet, you know when your urine gets acted upon by bacteria and environmental pathogens?
Do you actually?
It's RIGHT AFTER IT TOUCHES THE AIR, GENIUS. The moment it comes out. So, here's a fact for you: That's still a really disgusting habit that can't be made better no matter what sources you may cite. Grody.
 
Wow seriously? Seriously?
What could possibly make him think this is acceptable, much less charming and worth writing about? Does he think toilets are just for when people are feeling fancy or. ...?
I think the idea behind this is like when truckers or bus drivers use a bottle to piss in. The difference of course being that they are under tight schedules and have limited places to urinate. They also throw out their urine when they can because they aren't all lazy slobs like Sweet. Which is why he was pissing in a bottle to begin with: he probably had a communal bathroom in his dorm and didn't feel like walking down the hall to piss. Hell, he didn't even feel like walking across the house when he was a teenager.

Apologies for taking so long to respond to this. You raise some excellent questions (and thanks for the props!).

You know how I see it? I see Jon's (and similarly, Chris's) mind as a kind of snowglobe within a polarized mirror. Others can see in, Jon can't see out. The area around him, the one he's spent most of his life in, is the only area of the world that he's familiar with, and even then, there are limitations within that world. Certainly, other places exist - they're forced into his perspective when he went to ASU, for example - but, for the most part, Jon's limited capacity can only see what is around him, what is familiar to him, what makes sense to him.

Now you would think that inside this little bubble, Sweet would be comfortable. But there's a catch: Other people walk in and out of it all the time. Likely, the majority of these people have nothing to do with Sweet, except for his parents, family, bullies, teachers, and authority figures. Meanwhile, other people have parties, friendships, lovers, sex, admirers, shoulders to cry on, etc. And none of these folks are the least bit concerned about Jon Sweet.

This leaves Jon at a disadvantage. He is the king of the world due to his myopia ("The media should be coming to me! I'm the story!"), but no one acknowledges his royalty. What's more, nothing Jon does has any effect in this world. He is either ignored or gets in trouble. Additionally, he's a coward who's afraid of getting hurt. Heck, he backed away from a threat of beating and strangling you when you suggested he "bring it on," after a fashion. I mean, really, you never even threatened him, you simply made it clear that he was not to talk to you in that manner, and he shut down immediately. Jon failed at being an internet tough guy.

Okay, so, what do you do when you're the king of the world, but no one will bow down to you? You do the same thing that venerated scientists do when questioned about the nature of the world around us: make theories. Of course, professional scientists base their theories around observation. Jon does the same, but his observation is skewed due to mental problems and a desperate emotional need to make himself relevant in a world that couldn't care less about him.

Nobody cared about Jon back in college, save for one adviser [?] that pushed him to join The Herald. Afterward, the status of fucks given about him remained unchanged (none or fewer). He was tolerated at best, having to go so far as to deliberately attract negative attention to himself (the neck-cracking and peanut chewing).
Jon was, simply put, a hairy, feces-caked asshole, on top of being a Neanderthal weirdo. No one hung out with him, no one liked him, no one praised him. So, looking for sense in a world that made no sense to him, looking for importance in a world that overlooked him, and looking for power in a world that granted him only charity, Jon had to find a way to make himself both relevant and powerful, one that fit inside the tiny, frosted glass of his bubble. Jon saw himself as an outsider who spoke the truth, who ruffled the feathers of the complacent sheep (y'know, those flight-capable sheep with feathers) and cowed PC weaklings too afraid to face the music.

In short, Jon became "The Badboy of College Journalism."

Remember, this was the 90s. The envelope pushed by Madonna, the cast of Saturday Night Live, and Porky's in the 1980s had finally ripped open. The shock jock, the angry pundit, and the outrageous comedian, while nothing new, were suddenly thrust into the limelight. Whether these people told it like it was, or just roused the rabble was unimportant. They were loud, lewd, and lucrative, and they set the media world on fire. There were a lot of angry voices complaining about these people, and a lot of those voices were coming from the left (a lot of the material that these personalities would use often targeted gays, women, and blacks).

Jon wanted - needed - to fit in somewhere. He needed to be someone important, and the fact that he wasn't attractive, or smart, or good looking, or insightful, or physically presentable in any form, or popular, or tolerable to look at without vomiting, or in tune with any kind of rational readership, coupled with the fact that his face was constructed entirely of cartilage and hideous, made fitting in nearly impossible. So, he had to find a way to compensate for this societal rejection. I mean, dealing with it in a mature manner and facing his flaws was about as likely as him dispensing his urine in the proper receptacle. So he thought to emulate his heroes in order to turn his failures into successes, and the Badboy fantasy was born.

That's my take on it, anyhow.

e. Thanks to NobleGreyHorse for the grammar suggestions!

You should be a criminal profiler!

But for reals, though, we've had a crackerjack week in Sweetsorian critque: very comprehensive breakdowns of his cartooning and writing by @Meowthkip and the good @Dr. Merkwurdichliebe, respectively, and an excellent analysis of his fundamental mind problem by based mod HSMOF.

No wonder he had "Ashleigh" troll you! You well had it coming!
Things are starting to make more sense, now.
 
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Thanks, Holdek!

Incidentally, I've been having fun with a meme generator. Check it out!


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Update: https://archive.is/1bEEo

Two things: One, I'm pretty sure he ripped that "fag" joke from Clerks: The Animation. Two, he explains why he pees in jars.:cryblood:

The Master of Comedy wrote in his fag "joke": "Hee hee hee!! My word! You Americans and your ruddy vulgar ignorance of British idioms!"

So, Jonathan M. Sweet, who has a B.A. in English and is a former graduate student in English, thinks that the word fag as a synonym for cigarette is an idiom. By definition, an idiom is a phrase, not a single word, that has a set meaning that differs from the literal one. "Kick the bucket" is an idiom. Fag is what a Harvard English professor would call "a word." So, Sweet routinely mangles idiom in his pathetic fiction, and in his pathetic comic he reveals that he doesn't even know the difference between an idiom and a word.

It's almost impossible to understand how someone with his feeble command of the language could get into grad school in English, even at Arkansas State, where the graduate program exists almost exclusively to hand out advanced degrees to public school teachers with dubious academic credentials so they can get a small bump in pay back at Cletus Tallywhacker Middle School in Bug Tussle, Ark.

EDIT: Sorry for the DP. I'd forgotten that this thread doesn't race along at the speed of the Shaner Express.
 
In a piece that was submitted but -- for obvious reasons -- never published by The Herald, Sweet actually discussed his habit of peeing in jars. His reverie included describing both the odor emanating from the jars and the appearance of the jars after they had sat around unemptied for a period of many days.

The "horrifying" ratings may now be launched.
Given the recent posts and the knowledge of this article, I just wanna say...

If Sweets described the odor as anything other than "A terrifying awful mistake that should never be replicated for the good of mankind," then he joins the ranks of the faux-intellectual cows like mrz, Wu, and Dobson that try to sound smart and end up sounding absolutely fucking retarded.

And Sweets, scientists don't generally do things for the hell of it. They tend to have SOME reason for attempting stuff that might sound inane.
 
Nice shot of Jonathan skulking in the Post Office, one of the places he's confessed to loitering before he lumbers off to lurk in the woods on his creepy peregrinations.

Hey, yeah, he does do that, doesn't he? Why on earth would somebody hang out at a post office? "Hey, I got an idea! Let's sort shipping boxes by size - again!"

Fag is what a Harvard English professor would call "a word." So, Sweet routinely mangles idiom in his pathetic fiction, and in his pathetic comic he reveals that he doesn't even know the difference between an idiom and a word.

Just wait. Just you wait. If Sweet picks up on your spot-on, inarguably correct post, it's a sure bet that there's an "It's not my fault!" heading your way. It's his secondary catchphrase, just behind "Nobody told me!" (the "Hasta la vista, baby" to his "I'll be back").

Cletus Tallywhacker Middle School in Bug Tussle, Ark.

Go fighting Inbred Banjo Pluckers!

 
Hey, yeah, he does do that, doesn't he? Why on earth would somebody hang out at a post office?
I never actually heard about this weird habit of his, or if I did I've forgotten where it was mentioned. Halp?

As for why he hangs out there, well, even to a piss-hoarder like Sweetums, anywhere else is probably preferable to a house that's falling apart and filled with half-feral cats and their waste.
 
Hey, yeah, he does do that, doesn't he? Why on earth would somebody hang out at a post office? "Hey, I got an idea! Let's sort shipping boxes by size - again!"
Every autistic person has an obsession. For Chris, it's Sonichu (which is really more of a combination of multiple obsessions). For ADF, it's public transit and maps. For Sweet, it might very well be something to do with mailing. It seems to be one of the few places he bothers to go anymore.
 
It does, but there's still white text on a white background.

Really? Is it white now? If so, I'll start writing in a darker tone of grey.

As for why he hangs out there, well, even to a piss-hoarder like Sweetums, anywhere else is probably preferable to a house that's falling apart and filled with half-feral cats and their waste.

You know, Shadow, thank you. You just made me realize that of all of Sweet's bizarre, revolting habits, hanging around the post office is the least of them!
 
Every autistic person has an obsession. For Chris, it's Sonichu (which is really more of a combination of multiple obsessions). For ADF, it's public transit and maps. For Sweet, it might very well be something to do with mailing. It seems to be one of the few places he bothers to go anymore.
Maybe it's the blue post boxes.
 
Is it possible to be banned from a post office?

There might be some kind of right to use a post office in the way it's intended to be used. It is a federal government service, after all. Having post offices is even right in Article I of the Constitution.

Pretty sure they can and have banned people from things like soliciting on the property or harassing or disrupting operations, or just loitering.
 
How often does Sweet actually say "nobody told me?" At the moment, I can recall only one instance where he literally said it (I can't recall the context it was said in at the moment), and one where it may have been implied (the Thunderbird thing).
 
How often does Sweet actually say "nobody told me?" At the moment, I can recall only one instance where he literally said it (I can't recall the context it was said in at the moment), and one where it may have been implied (the Thunderbird thing).
I'm pretty sure he said nobody told him how to use the copy machine at the Herald or what kind of digital media storage options existed besides CDs; before that, he stated that he doesn't know how to put together a readable comic page because he never had any formal art training , which is just another way of saying "nobody told me."
 
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