🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[MrsFrizzle]

Eye-dialect and "Saved By the Bell" on the same fucking page.

 

[CWCTime]

I also thought this bit -

Sam thought he looked a bit like that actor who played Slater on Saved By the Bell.

was kind of a bizarre aside. Guy just had to cram a pop-culture reference in there somewhere, I guess.

PLZ HELP GUYS I CAN'T TELL THEM APART

 

[Shadow Fox]

Belch is trans-Latino u gaiz! #tw:transracism

Holy Jesus I just noticed the little pubeard tied up with a rubber band. Shudder.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

I was thinking more present day Dustin Diamond.

 

[wheat pasta]

I can't get over that picture of him, largely because I don't know what the fuck he's doing with his teeth. It looks like a smile at first glance, but on closer inspection all I can think of is the manner in which small dogs bare their teeth sometimes for seemingly no reason.

Spoiler: Needless to say, it's cuter when the dog does it...

 

[Holdek]

It's probably due to different equipment, and given Sweet's skill with tech, I wouldn't be surprised if he has some difficulties. Awhile back in the thread, Sweet was quoted as saying:


Hopefully by now, he's figured out that one can just plug one into the USB port (assuming it's an external USB one), and using it should be straightforward from there - especially on a user friendly OS like Windows. It's not like using CLI-only Unix there.

Windows "6.0" is just Vista, right? I mean, hell, I've got a netbook still running XP and I can go online, use USB devices like memory sticks and external HDs, etc. I don't get what the huge problem is, especially if the files he's struggling with are just .BMPs.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Vista had some problems with some drivers when it first came out, but by the end of its life it was compatible with most drivers and you could just plug it in. There's really no excuse, but much like the TV, why take the easy route when you can complain "but nobody told me." Even though several people are telling him at this very moment.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Vista had some problems with some drivers when it first came out, but by the end of its life it was compatible with must drivers and you could just plug it in. There's really no excuse, but much like the TV, why take the easy route when you can complain "but nobody told me." Even though several people are telling at this very moment.

I'm positive I'm retreading old ground here but I really can't fathom having such a lack of pride and self-respect that "but nobody told me how" flies for him personally. I mean, I feel kinda bad if I have to ask for help at all period, I love the fact that I can learn how to do things on my own. I just can't imagine being so...helpless.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I'm hoping that Sweet figured out the issue with the CD burner by now. Surely the "geek" he was waiting for already helped him by now?

Also, if Sweet can get over wanting to use the CD burners ASU has (or had), it's a small step forward, I think.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Someone could have shown Jon how to use the burning option at ASU in the computer lab. If that were the case, the likely wouldn't have shown him how to install one.

 

[John Titor]

I normally avoid Limbaugh because I heard enough to know that he is full of hot air but I just heard a recording of him getting rekt by someone bringing up his past. Now I'm understanding the influence he has over Sweetbro.

"Nuh nuh nuh, yous cannot tells the truth about mah drugs. It's da sistem spreading da progressive lies again."

Let's not forget the insulting nicknames they give to people they dislike.

 

[Holdek]

“De-li-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” he shrieked in an unconscious imitation of Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire. All but the shirt-ripping, mused Sam. Under other circumstances, it’d be pants-crapping funny.

Y'know, without the byline, this reads as a mildly amusing mockery of his Ashlaaaay obsession. What kind of cognitive dissonance allows him to self-deprecate this much and still not be able to let it go?

He even basically calls his Mary Sue a man-child.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Man what is his obsession with bowel movements? Look I freely admit that farting can be funny sometimes but man it's not THAT funny. And I've never shit my pants because I found something hysterical, either.

We truly do live in different worlds, don't we Sweetness.

 

[Big Nasty]

He even basically calls his Mary Sue a man-child.

I don't think that he's actually self-deprecating. His intention is probably that the reader is supposed to feel symphaty for the character.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I'm positive I'm retreading old ground here but I really can't fathom having such a lack of pride and self-respect that "but nobody told me how" flies for him personally. I mean, I feel kinda bad if I have to ask for help at all period, I love the fact that I can learn how to do things on my own. I just can't imagine being so...helpless.

I could understand falling back on "nobody told me" if it was something that it literally never occurred to you to ask about, but all the things Sweet mentions in conjunction with this excuse are things that he has, or should have had, a vested interest in knowing. Why wouldn't you want to know how to operate a copy machine if you worked in an office setting? Why wouldn't you try to investigate different methods of backing up your personal files if you're worried that the method you currently use might not work anymore? Most people try to find ways around roadblocks; Sweet just throws up his hands and collapses to the ground in defeat, muttering about damn dirty liberals. If I didn't suspect the guy was mentally impaired somehow, I'd think he had one hell of a spoiled upbringing with everyone handing him things on a silver platter, ensuring that he never had to ask for guidance or learn how to do things on his own.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Man what is his obsession with bowel movements? Look I freely admit that farting can be funny sometimes but man it's not THAT funny. And I've never shit my pants because I found something hysterical, either.

We truly do live in different worlds, don't we Sweetness.

An entire section of his DA faves is devoted to ... lessee here, what's the title? Ah yes, "Fart and Wiener Jokes."

 

[John Titor]

He took a pretty long break. Nothing too special besides the assumption that some of aren't wage slaves. Huh, I thought we were miserable and wanted a life of freedom collecting cans on the side of the road.

Mar 20, 2015 14:29:18 GMT -8 Dr. Belch said:

Mar 10, 2015 6:55:09 GMT -8 concerned said:
[O]ur endgame is to help you live a fulfilling life. To try and help you not wallow in your misery as you continue to do.

No, your endgame is to make me miserable by misrepresenting me, confusing everything I say with your unrelenting stupidity and obfuscation, and forcing me to constantly question whether or not everything I ever loved in college was even real. You think you're doing me a favor, but you're not. Do you not realize that when you steal my little bit of remaining hope, my dream of someday rebuilding my life the way it used to be by telling me it was all a lie (and then denying you even do so), all you leave behind is pain and anger... and when that finally explodes, a lot of people are going to get hurt? Possibly even you?

Have you ever noticed that the people who give you the same tired old "get a job" speech are always the ones who already have a good job? It's never the ones who have bosses who hate them, coworkers who are plotting against them behind their backs (well, that they know about, anyway), or are forced to deal with customers who act like brain-damaged rejects from a Kevin Smith film. And they always say the same thing: "I am truly indispensable at my job." Yeah, that's what I said, just one bare month before I was let go from the campus paper... and my life started getting weird.

...you had used your brother's computer without permission while he was in jail... Then ... he came and took his computer - his property, by the way ...
Actually, it was never his. It was Dale's computer which he left behind when he skipped town, and it was supposed to be shared equally among the family. But, like anything else he wanted, my brother simply grabbed it for himself. He put it in his room, kept it under lock and key, and threw fits at anyone else who wanted to use it.

I bought one commemorative brick, e-mailed to my former mentor about visiting campus to use some equipment, was viciously insulted and threatened for no reason, and then weeks later I bought the second, figuring I'd never get to see the first one. See? Nothing sinister at all. No lie, no terrible cover-up. I think what happens is that you people tell my stories wrong, make up details, fabricate whole conversations, thoroughly confuse yourselves, and finally, when your tiny, backwards brains can't cope, just flat-out deny any of it ever happened. Then you get mad when I try to correct you and call me a liar. That's how fundamentally stupid you folks are. You have to remember that a blog post is a snapshot in time, and both feelings and stories change as new information is learned. Memories get soft around the edges as time passes. Half the time you're going on about things I wrote in 2004 or '05 or screaming about things that went down over 20 years ago and expecting me to recall them clear as crystal. I was reading some manuscript notes way back from 1999 the other day and I was amazed how many stories I haven't yet told and transcribed accounts of newsroom conversations which I had long forgotten.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Sweets, if you feel like hurting yourself or others, you need to contact a mental health professional immediately. This is not healthy behavior.

The campus paper was not a job. You were not paid. It should have been a way for you to build a portfolio, but obviously that did not happen.

What you believe happened at college wasn't real. It's good to question your perception of what happened there.

You were chased off the campus because you're banned. That means you can never be on campus without explicit permission. Given you just made threats to hurt other people and disgruntled, mentally ill individuals have killed people at their current or former schools this a perfectly good reason to keep you from entering their property.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Chan, in all honesty, I'd love to re-post your quote on the AJM forum. You nail it. He won't listen, but you nail it.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Sweet, you will never rebuild your life until you acknowledge that your past isnt what you thought it was, and move on. Furthermore, I have a shitty job that I'm theoretically way overqualified for, and I say to you: get a job.

(wow, phone auto correct actually salvaged this post)