🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

[Holdek]

How's the small-engine repair shop doing?

Pretty good ever since I dropped some dead weight, if you know what I mean. I miss my gal but I didn't know she came as a package deal.

Next time you're in Georgia, give me a call. We'll have a couple of beers and tell some stories about . . . you know who.

You can count on it bud. Old what's-his-name was always babbling something about peaches ripening in the Southern sun...to be honest I have no idea what point that pervert was trying to make...but the talk of peaches reminded me to head out Georgee way when I get the chance.

 

[GREEDY FIREMAN]

Can someone make a highlights post for those of us new to Iconoclast? I noticed the "Thumbskull" himself has left a few novelettes early in the thread, so I just want to know if I'm in for a few hundred pages of meth-fueled and/or diabetes-induced nonsense, a la Marjan/Shaner (and if so, is it worth it).

 

[Sanshain]

Considering this guy has now taken the legal route, is there a chance of an updated OP to better reflect his online shenanigans? I feel that 400+ pages deserves a better synopsis.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Behold, ye mortals, the power of Jon Sweet: Runs like a punk to someone else and asks them to fix his problems for him. That is how he intends to destroy people - through ineffective, poorly written, whiny emails that make him look worse than the people he's writing about.

Man, this feels good! I need to print that email out and frame it! In color!

I don't know what I enjoy more, the fact that we have so thoroughly disturbed and roasted his crook-neck behind, or that he is guilty of every single thing he accused us of.

The only thing that could possibly top this off is video of him weeping in utter defeat, deep, reedy sobs wracking his body, tears struggling to squeak out of those beady, rat-like eyes of his. Man, that would be delicious!

Oh, btw, I'll try to throw up a synopsis of the Knuckleneck Chronicles this weekend, unless someone else wants to take a shot at it.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Can someone make a highlights post for those of us new to Iconoclast? I noticed the "Thumbskull" himself has left a few novelettes early in the thread, so I just want to know if I'm in for a few hundred pages of meth-fueled and/or diabetes-induced nonsense, a la Marjan/Shaner (and if so, is it worth it).

Yes. Sweets is pure autism coupled with living the mold kingdom. He's Chris, if Chris had refused to get a psych exam after getting kicked out of college and then held a decades long grudge against Mary Lee Walsh and other faculty.
I'm sure someone could give you the Sweets highlights, but I think he's more coherent than Marjan/Shaner. He's a mid-IQ autistic not a meth addict like Marjan or a retard like Shaner.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

Other Sweet highlights for the newbies:
-Blames Liberals for literally everything wrong in his life and decries modern progressivism, and continues to pay cargo-cult-esque lip service to conservative ideals while fastidiously avoiding even the smallest amount of personal responsibility and living almost entirely off the government's dime

-Is literally incapable of inductive or deductive reasoning, critical thought, introsepction, or self-study. He must have his hand held through an entire learning process and is then incapable of performing any task in a way that deviates even slightly from how he learned it, hence the "no one TOLD ME (X)" Sweet meme

 

[Adamska]

He has a habit of giving embarrassing details that point out just how pathetic he is. When he realizes he fucks up, he then tries to deny it, and adds more reasons why he's a pathetic piece of shit not worthy of sympathy.

Example: He admits he cannot be arsed to use the toilet and pisses in bottles.
We laugh.
He realizes he looks like a freak, then states he doesn't do that; no, he pees outside the window.
We laugh.
He again understands that he is an abnormal mockery of man, then states that he doesn't do that, he pisses down the sink.
We laugh.

Example2: He tries to get pity and sympathy, as well as prove that black people are evil, by regaling us the tale of how he cowered inside his house as his mom is brutally beaten by thugs.
We laugh.
He realizes he fucked up and now looks like a piece of shit, so he then pretends that he went out to help, but they were gone by then.
We laugh.
He adds onto this by explaining he called 9-1-1, and then adds irrelevant details to highlight how there was NUTHIN HE COULD DO.
We laugh.

 

[Picklechu]

And he's still flailing about trying to rationalize that a butt pun is a totes legit Japanese name.

Japanese doesn't have any mechanism in which stressing a sound can change the meaning of the word; that's Chinese he's probably thinking of. Japanese does have long and short vowel sounds, but that isn't the same thing. "Ten Bu Chi" is nonsense word salad. The Smartest Man in Arkansas strikes again!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Japanese doesn't have any mechanism in which stressing a sound can change the meaning of the word; that's Chinese he's probably thinking of.

Like I said, Japanese is hard to mispronounce -- especially if you're a native speaker. Sweet definitely learned about East Asia from older cartoons with "vintage cartoon humor."

Other Sweet highlights for the newbies

Sweet's life also revolves around TV. Primarily cartoons. The username "Iconoclast" comes from Pinky And The Brain. Sweet blames the introduction of TV ratings in the 90s for ruining his life (and by projection, America). The bane of his existence (other than getting kicked out of ASU) is DTV, or "Obamacable" as he calls it. Sweet thinks the crappy reception in the middle of nowhere is because of progressives blocking out certain channels. Once he claimed that Europe would have riots when he learned they switched over to DTV.

Also, he wants to found the "Teapot Domers" and turn the clock back to "half-past 1997," when he was in paradise: Arkansas State University. Failing that, he wants to build a "college living experience," which critics have described as a brothel. Sweet was expelled from ASU for antisocial behavior, but he maintains it was due to a liberal ploy because he was "too real" and "too conservative" for them.

By the way, Sweet thinks "The System" assigns girlfriends to people, and that real college dating is phone sex -- because of his phone sex experiences with "Ashleigh," which he vehemently denies was a prank.

Another fun fact is that he posts links to comics he drew as "evidence" for whatever he's trying to argue.

 

[DrJonesHat]

He also doesn't trust anything made past the halcyon days of 1997. He only got a new laptop when his previous dinosaur couldn't do anything at all online anymore. If I recall, it was running Windows 98.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

dinosaur

Sweet also thought an average computer lab at Arkansas State University was "state-of-the-art," and that computers were "Buck Rogers technology." Sweet has also obsessed over trying to get back in ASU to use CD burners there to copy stuff from floppy disks. After getting expelled, he blamed his incompetence with technology on being "exiled to a technological backwater" by "The System."

 

[John Titor]

Japanese doesn't have any mechanism in which stressing a sound can change the meaning of the word; that's Chinese he's probably thinking of. Japanese does have long and short vowel sounds, but that isn't the same thing. "Ten Bu Chi" is nonsense word salad. The Smartest Man in Arkansas strikes again!

To be fair though, in Japanese the way you pronounce words can change the meaning. Kami can mean paper, god or hair depending on the emphasis on the the syllables.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Behold, ye mortals, the power of Jon Sweet: Runs like a punk to someone else and asks them to fix his problems for him. That is how he intends to destroy people - through ineffective, poorly written, whiny emails that make him look worse than the people he's writing about.

Man, this feels good! I need to print that email out and frame it! In color!

I don't know what I enjoy more, the fact that we have so thoroughly disturbed and roasted his crook-neck behind, or that he is guilty of every single thing he accused us of.

The only thing that could possibly top this off is video of him weeping in utter defeat, deep, reedy sobs wracking his body, tears struggling to squeak out of those beady, rat-like eyes of his. Man, that would be delicious!

Oh, btw, I'll try to throw up a synopsis of the Knuckleneck Chronicles this weekend, unless someone else wants to take a shot at it.

You shouldn't laugh.

Remember, he said he was going to track us down and murder us with his bone knife. And he actually attempted to carry out his plan to murder his brother after posting about it online for quite some time. Getting our IP addresses is the first step. He'll be hoppin' on a Greyhound out of Blytheville as soon as he knows where we live.

And I should rate your post optimistic. I couldn't create a synopsis of this thread over a weekend if I were to start off by chugging a quart of meth.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

You shouldn't laugh.

Remember, he said he was going to track us down and murder us with his bone knife. And he actually attempted to carry out his plan to murder his brother after posting about it online for quite some time. Getting our IP addresses is the first step. He'll be hoppin' on a Greyhound out of Blytheville as soon as he knows where we live.

And I should rate your post optimistic. I couldn't create a synopsis of this thread over a weekend if I were to start off by chugging a quart of meth.

You make a good point. I shouldn't tempt fate, what with Jon's legions of followers ready to jump us at any time. After all, he demanded Null turn over our IP addys, which by definition means that Null must do so right away. When I think of all the victories Jon has scored over the years, including his devastating physical attacks against his opponents, it causes me to reconsider my flippant attitude.

 

[John Titor]

Can someone make a highlights post for those of us new to Iconoclast? I noticed the "Thumbskull" himself has left a few novelettes early in the thread, so I just want to know if I'm in for a few hundred pages of meth-fueled and/or diabetes-induced nonsense, a la Marjan/Shaner (and if so, is it worth it).

The first 20 pages, where he visited, will give you a very good idea on what he's really like. Unlike Shaner, the thread does not get too out of control.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Unlike Shaner, the thread does not get too out of control.

Probably because The Kiwi Fruits Club is nowhere near as big as The Kiwi Trainspotterspotter Club.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

You make a good point. I shouldn't tempt fate, what with Jon's legions of followers ready to jump us at any time. After all, he demanded Null turn over our IP addys, which by definition means that Null must do so right away. When I think of all the victories Jon has scored over the years, including his devastating physical attacks against his opponents, it causes me to reconsider my flippant attitude.

That's better.

The Violent Moon-faced Lunatic's email to Null did make me laugh. It was so typically Thumbskullish in its bizarre assertion that members of the farms pose a deadly threat to him and his "family." (Talk about projection!) Yet no one here has ever threatened to do anything to The Stalking Horror -- or his "family" -- except defend ourselves when he attempts to carry out his numerous and very specific death threats, which include torturing us, stabbing us, gutting us, slashing our throats, decapitating us, shooting us, burning us alive and having his mom drag our dead bodies up and down the street outside her his house behind her his car (and I've probably forgotten a few of the à la carte items on The Farting Manchild's menu of death).

It's almost as if Dung For Brains has forgotten that he's the one who has spent the last 20 years stalking, harassing and threatening to kill people he met in college in 1996.

 

[Goofy Logic]

-- except defend ourselves when he attempts to carry out his numerous and very specific death threats, which include torturing us, stabbing us, gutting us, slashing our throats, decapitating us, shooting us, burning us alive and having his mom drag our dead bodies up and down the street outside her his house behind her his car (and I've probably forgotten a few of the

Don't forget in his email to null, he said your IPs should be sent to the police or "someone else who can track them down and get results".

I think you can add call a hitman to your list.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

HaggisMcCrablice Edited 4 days ago Hobbyist Writer

One... ol' Doc Merkwurdichliebe has openly confessed to being Dr. Leo Greer. Quite a foolish move on his part.
________________________________

This is true. I am Dr. Leo Greer. I have openly confessed to being a cartoon character.

You guys have no idea how difficult it is to type these messages when I only exist in two dimensions in Thumbskull's comics. And have you seen the way that moron draws my fingers? It's like typing with five giant bratwursts on each hand.

 

[AJMLurker]

Sweet wants people to believe "Leo Greer" is one of the most evil people to walk this planet, but once again, reality hilariously betrays Sweet's narrative of events at ASU.

IIRC, the story goes like this: after Sweet was kicked off the Herald for plagiarizing, Sweet remained at school for another three semesters. Not able to handle getting the boot from his so-called job, Jon Sweet started acting out in even more anti-social ways than before. Our Sweetian Hero spent a decent portion of those three semesters stalking and harassing the students who worked at the Herald and it was only after all that time, that "Leo Greer" finally intervened and did something about the autistic assclown of ASU.

For whatever reason, "Leo Greer" actually gave Sweet one last chance to stay at school. All he had to do was take a psych evaluation that would cost $500 bucks. Don't know about you guys, but that was quite nice of Dr. "Greer" to offer Sweets that opportunity. The man must have some patience.