🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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I got a feeling I'm gonna write up an armchair psychology post in the future to address all this new Sweetness material, but for now, check out this bit of terrifying information from Jonny.
Jonny the Kiwi Hunter said:
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo, it was a high-school aged girl who who was put up to it by my enemies to ruin me. Get it right, assclown.

Then pray I never find out who you are, because I can make a lot of trouble for you. Oh, not a physical frontal attack, that would be foolhardy... but I.P. numbers can be traced, remember, and I did kinda sorta end links to a few of your most inflammatory posts to folks who know how to do that... and don't cotton well to folks pretending to be present or former University employees. Fraud is a lot worse that harassment, you know.
Link: http://comments.deviantart.com/1/608180098/4126890657?offset=25#comments

*Cricket sound* *Cricket sound* *Cricket sound* Well, Jon wouldn't be a lolcow if he understood that nobody gives a shit about him in the grand scheme of things.
Sweet, I'm assuming these "folks" you are referring to are either entirely made up or ASU staff members you've been harassing for years.
 
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How exactly is he going to trace IP addresses when Paypal is too complex for him?
 
No one told Sweet that IP addresses can change (static vs dynamic) and may not point to the exact physical location anyway. And then there's the wonderful world of proxies.

But yeah, Sweet totally isn't seething with a sadistic desire to ruin people's lives because he can't let grudges go.
 
He's going all out!
Sweet is insane. That's about all there is to it. Nick Bate-ish type insane, Jon just acts it out differently. I think I've said this before here but, I don't find Jon amusing. Maybe back in college he was... tame enough to simply laugh at. Now he's like a wounded animal snapping at every hand. His life is a decades-long tragedy, if he weren't a coward and had a smidgen more self-awareness (and therefore a sense of shame) he'd have probably choke-started a .12 gauge by now. Maybe he still will one day.

Jon is gross, but I don't wish him to be so miserable he takes his own life.

But what can any of us do? His "wounds" were imagined, though he's dedicated his life is to them so now they're effectively real. He did this all to himself. It's like a Shakespearian tragedy, a true epic.

Jon Sweet is the greatest character Jon ever created. If he could write about people as complexly horrible as himself he'd write the next "Confederacy of Dunces" and be recognized for it.

I think Brianna Wu will face the same sort of crisis in the future, internet fame is fleeting and fickle. Jon's just further down the spiral of personal degeneration. Wu had the sense to move out of the South, tho. Jon's stuck on it like a crutch. Dude is codependent on *places*, just let the insanity of what that must feel like sink in.
Oh. Well I wanted to know if his insistence on "dime apiece candy" and "steak and quail dinners" had any basis in reality.
 
He made 97 cents that week, guys! :o

Jonathan M. Sweet: Paragon of Wisdom said:
And I am right about everything else as well.
Sweetums' personal philosophy in a nutshell.

I also like the idea that someone needs to be punished for trolling him. Sometimes people get the piss taken out of them and never get to exact revenge, Jon Boy. In fact I'd wager it happens to everyone. You're the only person I've ever encountered who thinks it's normal and acceptable, even noble, to continue wishing vengeance on someone for a prank they pulled twenty years ago.
 
He's going all out!

Oh. Well I wanted to know if his insistence on "dime apiece candy" and "steak and quail dinners" had any basis in reality.
The bit about the corner store with cheap candy is likely true. He's not completely wrong about things being simpler and cheaper for rural folks back in the late 70s/early 80s. Even cars and houses and land were pretty affordable w/o having to work two jobs.

I didn't catch the part about steak and quail so I'm not sure exactly what he claimed. Steak was still rather pricey unless it was from your own cow. Quail were stupid easy to hunt, you could just go driving down back country roads and scare some up. Pheasants too. We'd even hunt and eat the blackbirds. So those were free dinners if they were in season. It's illegal to hunt from directly inside your car but people do it. Cops sometime put deer decoys up by popular roads as sting operations to catch vehicle-bound hunters.
 
IIRC the steak and quail is what he says he ate at the sumptuous ASU buffet.
HAHAHAHAHA no.

That buffet was worse than a military chow hall. Worse than bad hospital food. Half of it was terrible so you ended up mashing it all up on your plate and drowning it with gravy just to make it edible.

Maybe for some special event they had fancy shit like that, but not as a regular thing.

ASU buffet food quality was more like what you'd expect to find in a prison. Keep in mind most students paid for a semesters worth of meals up front, so there was no motivation for the school to make the food taste great.

The "good" food was the burger place on campus, but that only took money, no prepaid meal cards like at the buffet.

Sweets full of shit on this, period.
 
ASU buffet food quality was more like what you'd expect to find in a prison.
Combining this new information with what we know of Sweet's diet at home, it is pretty much confirmed that Sweet would indeed find prison food sumptuous (or scrumptious if his dumbass has been accidentally misusing the former). If Sweet ever ends up in the slammer, he'll have one thing to look forward to.
 
Combining this new information with what we know of Sweet's diet at home, it is pretty much confirmed that Sweet would indeed find prison food sumptuous (or scrumptious if his dumbass has been accidentally misusing the former). If Sweet ever ends up in the slammer, he'll have one thing to look forward to.
I'd guess the convenience of it was the real attraction for him. No cooking, no cleaning up, no waiting. Just readily available slop a few times a day, everyday. I'm sure it was his ghetto version of heaven, and probably gave him monstrous gas, which ofc for him was a plus. "Sumptuous" farts for him to sniff while he waited for his phone to ring.

Bleh.
 
The bit about the corner store with cheap candy is likely true. He's not completely wrong about things being simpler and cheaper for rural folks back in the late 70s/early 80s. Even cars and houses and land were pretty affordable w/o having to work two jobs.

I'm still calling horseshit on it, mainly because I looked at the prices for that stuff; you could get an ounce or two of chocolate for that price, and maybe two or three candy sticks, but Burnside's Folly here talks about bags worth.

He also claimed you could get a case of coke for the same price, something I know is bullshit even back then.
 
I'm still calling horseshit on it, mainly because I looked at the prices for that stuff; you could get an ounce or two of chocolate for that price, and maybe two or three candy sticks, but Burnside's Folly here talks about bags worth.

He also claimed you could get a case of coke for the same price, something I know is bullshit even back then.
Oh, no, yeah, I didn't realize he was saying bags. He's making that up. It was the 80s, not the 50s.
 
Sweet talks like he lived in the Jim Crow South, but he's 40. He came of age in the 1980s and if I'm recalling right, lived in Chicago or in that area until he was 5.
He's delusional. He really believes he lived in one of those really old cartoons/sitcoms and the stuff that happened in them was his reality.
In one of his recent comments, he actually says that his experience at ASU was a Truman Show type experiment.
 
I'd guess the convenience of it was the real attraction for him. No cooking, no cleaning up, no waiting. Just readily available slop a few times a day, everyday. I'm sure it was his ghetto version of heaven, and probably gave him monstrous gas, which ofc for him was a plus. "Sumptuous" farts for him to sniff while he waited for his phone to ring.

Bleh.

I think what's going on there might have something to do with Nostalgia Goggles and a wish to return to more pleasant times. If Jon's experiences since getting booted from school are true (as he reported them, so, grain of salt), what we're talking about here is a man who has little-to-no control over what is brought into the house to eat. Sure, he may get a small allotment of money to take to a convenience store or something, but that's likely it. If Jon wants to roll out to the grocery store to by a bag of this, a couple cans of that, and a few slices of the other - well, he simply can't. I can. You can. We can. Jon cannot. Jon has to get his mother's permission first. Everything from list approval, to transportation, to covering the cost is entirely up to his mom. To say nothing of the supposed torment his brother put him through by "gobbling up" all the food in the house while Jon was "starving like a dog" (heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!).

On the other hand, you had the ASU cafeteria. You walk in, and boom - food. Acres and acres of it. If you didn't like X, you could eat Y, and nobody was going to steal food from your plate, or knock you down and take it. There was no fear of coming in one day, seeing an apron-clad cook with tears in his eyes and his hands on his cheeks, saying "Oh, no! We're out of food!" in front of an empty buffet bar.

Finally, there was an audience. Froot Broot could disrupt the decorum of the place and start doing some stupid routine to draw what he thought was positive attention to himself. The people trying to eat or study or chat with each other were too nice to call campus security, and some may have enjoyed seeing the crooked-necked ninny make a fool of himself.

In comparison to how he lives today, Jon did indeed have freedom, a freedom that he longs to return to. It wasn't a freedom that he had furnished for himself, however, and could be easily taken away from him when his sicko, childish behavior found him on the wrong side of the bars. Now, at 40, Jon lives with a lack of agency in his own home that most of us will probably never know until we are well into our 80s, losing control of our faculties.

Going to Old Country Buffet for this guy must feel like having a meal catered by Wolfgang Puck.
 
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He also claimed you could get a case of coke for the same price, something I know is bullshit even back then.

To be fair he said pop bottles, I think he meant that shitty waxy candy that's shaped like soda bottles, I'd believe that a little bag of those was ten cents thirty years ago. And given his obsession with really shitty candy that seems like something he'd buy.
 
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