- Joined
- Nov 3, 2014
As I was reading through this thread I thought it might be fun and informative to compile a list of all the ways that Jon M. Sweet is pathetic and insane, since no one has ever put it all together at one time, in one spot. I think that doing so is the only true and honest way to get a real firm grasp of just how crazy this guy is. And I'm all caught up now, so here is that list. I want to apologize for the length of this post- I thought about putting each little piece in its own spoiler box, but that'd take away from the effect I'm going for.
JON FACTS:
Is a virgin with rage.
In college he was trolled by a girl going by the name Ashleigh. He seems to (sometimes) accept this was just a troll, but mostly still believes (or at least pretends to believe) that she was actually his girlfriend.
They met in person once, when she bounced after five minutes of awkward creepiness which included, according to Sweet himself, Sweet trying to score a sympathy lay by talking about his father's death.
He said that she looked just like Alicia Silverstone, even though she looked like this:
Tried to find her for years after she ghosted him, this included an innumerable amount of calls to unrelated people.
Frequently rages about “The System”: he thinks that The System controls dating and sends girls out to date random men at ASU. And by “dating,” he means phone sex. He thinks that that’s what a relationship is: phone sex (and that getting to know each other is not allowed). He thinks that he broke that rule when he tried to use his father’s death for pity sex and that that was why Ashleigh (the girl who trolled him) ditched him within minutes of meeting up in person for the first time.
Spent a few months writing for the college newspaper. Wrote an article about modern art, in which he talked about pissing in soda bottles and keeping them on his window sill.
Also plagiarized a Saturday Night Live skit about the TV ratings system. This would end up being the straw that broke the camel’s back as he was kicked off the writing staff.
Thinks that writing about modern art and TV ratings made him “The Bad Boy of College Journalism.” Thinks that pretending to know anything about politics and identifying as conservative made him “dangerous” in a red state college.
Thinks that being given a Pamela Anderson poster with the best part torn out and people jamming his door with pennies was “fans” showering him with “wild, lavish gifts” (yes, he actually said that...) and that he was “a God” on campus (...and that).
By his own account he “...didn’t act professional – I wasn’t a professional.” This of course doesn’t stop him from acting like some kind of grizzled veteran journalist online.
Whenever he craved attention he would get right behind someone and loudly chew peanuts inches from the person’s ear. In another example of his attention-seeking behavior, he once assembled a salad by going back-and-forth between the salad bar and his seat, grabbing one salad component at a time.
Other autistic habits included creepily staring at people, hogging the dining room TV and imitating Andrew Dice Clay (loudly).
Someone once dropped a trashcan on his head, from a window several stories-high.
Snapped and went into a full-blown autistic rage over a bright camera flash. Cussed out the photographer, who was a member of the faculty.
After getting fired from The Herald he spent the next several semesters harassing staff members and leaving notes begging to be let back on.
Was ordered to see a psychiatrist. Got expelled from college after refusing a follow-up psych appointment.
Before his old dorm building was demolished in 2008, he had hatched an utterly insane plan to sneak out of his mom’s house at night and hop a train which he by his own admission would have to just blindly hope would take him in the direction of the ASU campus. Once there, he planned on sneaking back into his old dorm room and living there undetected. According to Sweet, he would “hide there during the day, leaving (in disguise, of course) only at night to forage for food…”...and...it just goes on like this...at one point he says he’ll be “the Phantom of Floor Five, going in and out undetected” (him, a noodle-armed clumsy fatso, farting all over the place...undetected, my ass…). It was a long, complicated, stupid plan and in my opinion this plan is unintentionally the funniest thing Jon Sweet has ever said/talked about.
In 2015 he boldly predicted- nay!- promised that he would be enrolled at ASU again for the Fall 2016 semester. He remains banned to this day.
Lived with his mom until just a couple of years ago, when her house became unfit to even live in (probably due to structural damage which started in Jon's room and just got worse and worse as the years went by without any effort on his part to fix it). The middle brother (second-oldest, after Jon) convinced Ma Sweet to move in with him while getting Jon his own little apartment, because the poor woman deserves some damn peace after what she's put up with the last couple of decades.
Survives on government assistance (despite being a conservative who rails against others for surviving on government assistance).
Doesn’t have control over his own (taxpayers’) money, because he can’t be trusted with such a responsibility.
Doesn’t have a car or driver’s license. Tried to learn how to drive once but gave up forever because a pack of dogs surrounded the car. This terrified him and he took it as an omen and excuse to not ever try to drive a car again.
Looks like a creepy pedophile. Is in his early 40s but looks about 70-75 years of age.
Thinks that the lack of a hairpiece is the only thing keeping him from looking like a 20-year old.
Fetishizes young girls, children’s cartoon show characters, animals, shit, dog anuses and dogs shitting.
Thinks that underage girls are “barely legal.” Once spoke about their nipples ripening in the sun or some shit. The trunk of a car and a basement was also somehow involved in this sad, scary Freudian slip.
Any doubts about his (unreciprocated) lust for underage girls were dispelled in December 2016 in the comments section of his Deviant Art page. This is an actual quote where Jon is responding to the accusation:
>>[Y]ou’re like Jared Fogle and into underage kids.
And whose fault is that? The System taught me that a traditional relationship, with someone close to my age with whom I share common interests, is not for me.
Wants to build a group home for himself and other middle-aged losers stuck in “half past 1997” to live together. If that's not unrealistic enough then don't worry, he also thinks he'll be able to convince a bunch of young women to be at his beck and call in this endeavor, possibly to service the other old men in addition to himself.
Thinks he should be able to watch porn in public.
Uses out-of-date phrases and talks like he was born 100 years ago in the middle of a klan meeting, and otherwise uses gay words like “sumptuous” and “goodies.”
Can’t figure out how to use a washing machine or how to get more than two channels on his TV (but blames the latter on “Obamacable”).
Has been arrested several times.
Has lost many fights against his little (youngest) brother.
Ambushed his little (youngest) brother with a deadly weapon and an intent to kill, only to lose the ensuing fight.
Impotently makes threats of violence against others even though he’s an incompetent pussy in a senior citizen body.
Holds grudges and plots revenge against the powers that were at ASU, the girl who trolled him and anyone online who gets deep enough under his skin. Makes Chris-Chan look like a saintly-forgiving person.
Once got lost in a hospital...for eight hours. Apparently his mental problems make him too scared to talk to people IRL, which is why he makes up for it online where he never shuts up.
His elderly mother (who looks about the same age as Jon) once got beaten up in the driveway of her home. Jon watched from the window until it was over.
When his dog died he just threw the poor canine in the trash.
Used to walk his other dogs over to the dumpster behind a grocery store so he could feed them meat out of said dumpster, and then they would take a nap together next to said dumpster.
The latter two dogs died as well after he knowingly walked them, against his brother’s orders, in an area known to be prowled by two blood-thirsty killer dogs who ended up attacking and killing Jon’s dogs before his very eyes. Jon then left them in the street so that a car could end up running one of them over post-mortem. He couldn’t move them out of the road because he was too busy being entranced by the ball sack of one of his deceased dogs (not kidding).
Found a hunk of glass in his mom's backyard once. Thought it was a diamond and posted online about using the proceeds from its sale to fund his hopes, dreams and revenge fantasies.
Is totally averse to picking up on new technology.
Was a sympathy hire at his mom's boyfriend's repair shop. Even though he had no managerial duties, he convinced himself he was the boss because ego and autism. He was terrified of a preteen black kid who frequented the shop and coped with this fright by writing fiction about killing the little boy. Also he wanted to sell his shitty comics in this repair shop, apparently to compete with all of the other lawnmower repair comic book stores. This was double stupid, being that many black people live in the area and his comics are severely racist. Also he's afraid of weed wackers.
Is horrible at writing despite majoring in English. Makes constant spelling, grammar and syntax errors despite criticizing others' much less frequent errors.
All of his ideas are either his version of real life events or “inspired by” something. Much like the books he has written, his comic offers nothing and takes everything.
His comic artwork is super ugly and almost impossible to read or follow.
One issue of his shitty comic includes an actual picture of a shit he took.
The self-insert main character of his comic is a stick figure with a yellow cape and round, thick red glasses who looks like an absolute dipshit faggot.
Whenever he describes any type of family get-together, like dinners or Black Friday shopping, he tries to rope them in with what is most assuredly only his piggy hillbilly behavior. Examples include eating like a pig and farting in a car full of people. Pic related is what I imagine every time he talks about Thanksgiving or "sumptuous buffets."
Joined Kiwi Farms and necro’d his own thread, stating his intentions to “sharpen his claws” against the members of the Farms. Beat a hasty retreat after getting exposed and manhandled with the truth.
Caused the closure of another forum after that forum’s leadership couldn’t bring themselves to stop enabling his all-around shitty behavior (which included racism and sexism).
Lurks here and bravely responds to comments from the relative safety of his Deviant Art page.
While arguing with people, he'll for some reason provide links to his comic, sometimes as a "source" of some kind. He has done the same thing in strongly-worded threat-begging emails.
That's about it, I think. Also I just want to thank all the Sweetian veterans in here for your service. You've been absolutely relentless and clinical in your dissection of this perverted, mentally ill charlatan. It's so fun to read.
JON FACTS:
Is a virgin with rage.
In college he was trolled by a girl going by the name Ashleigh. He seems to (sometimes) accept this was just a troll, but mostly still believes (or at least pretends to believe) that she was actually his girlfriend.
They met in person once, when she bounced after five minutes of awkward creepiness which included, according to Sweet himself, Sweet trying to score a sympathy lay by talking about his father's death.
He said that she looked just like Alicia Silverstone, even though she looked like this:
Tried to find her for years after she ghosted him, this included an innumerable amount of calls to unrelated people.
Frequently rages about “The System”: he thinks that The System controls dating and sends girls out to date random men at ASU. And by “dating,” he means phone sex. He thinks that that’s what a relationship is: phone sex (and that getting to know each other is not allowed). He thinks that he broke that rule when he tried to use his father’s death for pity sex and that that was why Ashleigh (the girl who trolled him) ditched him within minutes of meeting up in person for the first time.
Spent a few months writing for the college newspaper. Wrote an article about modern art, in which he talked about pissing in soda bottles and keeping them on his window sill.
Also plagiarized a Saturday Night Live skit about the TV ratings system. This would end up being the straw that broke the camel’s back as he was kicked off the writing staff.
Thinks that writing about modern art and TV ratings made him “The Bad Boy of College Journalism.” Thinks that pretending to know anything about politics and identifying as conservative made him “dangerous” in a red state college.
Thinks that being given a Pamela Anderson poster with the best part torn out and people jamming his door with pennies was “fans” showering him with “wild, lavish gifts” (yes, he actually said that...) and that he was “a God” on campus (...and that).
By his own account he “...didn’t act professional – I wasn’t a professional.” This of course doesn’t stop him from acting like some kind of grizzled veteran journalist online.
Whenever he craved attention he would get right behind someone and loudly chew peanuts inches from the person’s ear. In another example of his attention-seeking behavior, he once assembled a salad by going back-and-forth between the salad bar and his seat, grabbing one salad component at a time.
Other autistic habits included creepily staring at people, hogging the dining room TV and imitating Andrew Dice Clay (loudly).
Someone once dropped a trashcan on his head, from a window several stories-high.
Snapped and went into a full-blown autistic rage over a bright camera flash. Cussed out the photographer, who was a member of the faculty.
After getting fired from The Herald he spent the next several semesters harassing staff members and leaving notes begging to be let back on.
Was ordered to see a psychiatrist. Got expelled from college after refusing a follow-up psych appointment.
Before his old dorm building was demolished in 2008, he had hatched an utterly insane plan to sneak out of his mom’s house at night and hop a train which he by his own admission would have to just blindly hope would take him in the direction of the ASU campus. Once there, he planned on sneaking back into his old dorm room and living there undetected. According to Sweet, he would “hide there during the day, leaving (in disguise, of course) only at night to forage for food…”...and...it just goes on like this...at one point he says he’ll be “the Phantom of Floor Five, going in and out undetected” (him, a noodle-armed clumsy fatso, farting all over the place...undetected, my ass…). It was a long, complicated, stupid plan and in my opinion this plan is unintentionally the funniest thing Jon Sweet has ever said/talked about.
In 2015 he boldly predicted- nay!- promised that he would be enrolled at ASU again for the Fall 2016 semester. He remains banned to this day.
Lived with his mom until just a couple of years ago, when her house became unfit to even live in (probably due to structural damage which started in Jon's room and just got worse and worse as the years went by without any effort on his part to fix it). The middle brother (second-oldest, after Jon) convinced Ma Sweet to move in with him while getting Jon his own little apartment, because the poor woman deserves some damn peace after what she's put up with the last couple of decades.
Survives on government assistance (despite being a conservative who rails against others for surviving on government assistance).
Doesn’t have control over his own (taxpayers’) money, because he can’t be trusted with such a responsibility.
Doesn’t have a car or driver’s license. Tried to learn how to drive once but gave up forever because a pack of dogs surrounded the car. This terrified him and he took it as an omen and excuse to not ever try to drive a car again.
Looks like a creepy pedophile. Is in his early 40s but looks about 70-75 years of age.
Thinks that the lack of a hairpiece is the only thing keeping him from looking like a 20-year old.
Fetishizes young girls, children’s cartoon show characters, animals, shit, dog anuses and dogs shitting.
Thinks that underage girls are “barely legal.” Once spoke about their nipples ripening in the sun or some shit. The trunk of a car and a basement was also somehow involved in this sad, scary Freudian slip.
Any doubts about his (unreciprocated) lust for underage girls were dispelled in December 2016 in the comments section of his Deviant Art page. This is an actual quote where Jon is responding to the accusation:
>>[Y]ou’re like Jared Fogle and into underage kids.
And whose fault is that? The System taught me that a traditional relationship, with someone close to my age with whom I share common interests, is not for me.
Wants to build a group home for himself and other middle-aged losers stuck in “half past 1997” to live together. If that's not unrealistic enough then don't worry, he also thinks he'll be able to convince a bunch of young women to be at his beck and call in this endeavor, possibly to service the other old men in addition to himself.
Thinks he should be able to watch porn in public.
Uses out-of-date phrases and talks like he was born 100 years ago in the middle of a klan meeting, and otherwise uses gay words like “sumptuous” and “goodies.”
Can’t figure out how to use a washing machine or how to get more than two channels on his TV (but blames the latter on “Obamacable”).
Has been arrested several times.
Has lost many fights against his little (youngest) brother.
Ambushed his little (youngest) brother with a deadly weapon and an intent to kill, only to lose the ensuing fight.
Impotently makes threats of violence against others even though he’s an incompetent pussy in a senior citizen body.
Holds grudges and plots revenge against the powers that were at ASU, the girl who trolled him and anyone online who gets deep enough under his skin. Makes Chris-Chan look like a saintly-forgiving person.
Once got lost in a hospital...for eight hours. Apparently his mental problems make him too scared to talk to people IRL, which is why he makes up for it online where he never shuts up.
His elderly mother (who looks about the same age as Jon) once got beaten up in the driveway of her home. Jon watched from the window until it was over.
When his dog died he just threw the poor canine in the trash.
Used to walk his other dogs over to the dumpster behind a grocery store so he could feed them meat out of said dumpster, and then they would take a nap together next to said dumpster.
The latter two dogs died as well after he knowingly walked them, against his brother’s orders, in an area known to be prowled by two blood-thirsty killer dogs who ended up attacking and killing Jon’s dogs before his very eyes. Jon then left them in the street so that a car could end up running one of them over post-mortem. He couldn’t move them out of the road because he was too busy being entranced by the ball sack of one of his deceased dogs (not kidding).
Found a hunk of glass in his mom's backyard once. Thought it was a diamond and posted online about using the proceeds from its sale to fund his hopes, dreams and revenge fantasies.
Is totally averse to picking up on new technology.
Was a sympathy hire at his mom's boyfriend's repair shop. Even though he had no managerial duties, he convinced himself he was the boss because ego and autism. He was terrified of a preteen black kid who frequented the shop and coped with this fright by writing fiction about killing the little boy. Also he wanted to sell his shitty comics in this repair shop, apparently to compete with all of the other lawnmower repair comic book stores. This was double stupid, being that many black people live in the area and his comics are severely racist. Also he's afraid of weed wackers.
Is horrible at writing despite majoring in English. Makes constant spelling, grammar and syntax errors despite criticizing others' much less frequent errors.
All of his ideas are either his version of real life events or “inspired by” something. Much like the books he has written, his comic offers nothing and takes everything.
His comic artwork is super ugly and almost impossible to read or follow.
One issue of his shitty comic includes an actual picture of a shit he took.
The self-insert main character of his comic is a stick figure with a yellow cape and round, thick red glasses who looks like an absolute dipshit faggot.
Whenever he describes any type of family get-together, like dinners or Black Friday shopping, he tries to rope them in with what is most assuredly only his piggy hillbilly behavior. Examples include eating like a pig and farting in a car full of people. Pic related is what I imagine every time he talks about Thanksgiving or "sumptuous buffets."
Joined Kiwi Farms and necro’d his own thread, stating his intentions to “sharpen his claws” against the members of the Farms. Beat a hasty retreat after getting exposed and manhandled with the truth.
Caused the closure of another forum after that forum’s leadership couldn’t bring themselves to stop enabling his all-around shitty behavior (which included racism and sexism).
Lurks here and bravely responds to comments from the relative safety of his Deviant Art page.
While arguing with people, he'll for some reason provide links to his comic, sometimes as a "source" of some kind. He has done the same thing in strongly-worded threat-begging emails.
That's about it, I think. Also I just want to thank all the Sweetian veterans in here for your service. You've been absolutely relentless and clinical in your dissection of this perverted, mentally ill charlatan. It's so fun to read.
