🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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I don't post in this thread too often, but I always love to see when there are new posts. The last few weeks in particular have been just delicious.

Something occurred to me while I was at work today. The recent photos showcasing his hideous mug in what seems to be an attempt at meme style reminds me of another cow: Mylarballoonfan. There is a difference, however: the man that receives sexual pleasure from fucking mylar sacks of air had a better grasp of how to do memes than Icky.

An undeniably autistic individual had a better grasp of something as mind-numbingly simple as memes than the college educated fart fetishist. Just let that sink in.
 
Adamska said:
It would appeal to it not being his fault, and the notion of a cabal of influential party members pulling the strings and making or breaking people would appeal to the idea that it was circumstances beyond his control that forced him out. It's all BS, but it could explain the origins of his excuse.
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This is kind of going out on a limb a bit, but if that's true it could also explain his desire to create a counter-machine modeled on the Harding Administration (with a callback to Teapot Dome and all).

melty said:
Daily reminder that said "goodies" were one water bottle, a handful of pennies, and a poster. Sweets would be ridiculously easy to bribe. "Here's $5 and a candy bar. I need you to deliver this package to the address written on this piece of paper. Don't ask any questions!"
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"And I'll even throw in some empty cans to help seal the deal."
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
Mylar has a place of his own. That's at least one way he's more functional than Sweet.
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Mylar also seems to have a pretty extensive knowledge of computers and technology even though he hates "modern" ones.

I can't see Mylar waiting around for a "genius" to explain CD burners for him. He'd probably order a 1990s tape drive off eBay for $1,500, figure out some complex workaround to make it compatible with his system and then flip off some barbies and make a video about why Bratz and mylarballoons are best things ever.
 
Small request: could a mod or @Holdek edit the title of this thread to include Sweet's full name? This thread is currently not on the first page of Google results when you look up our hero, and that's a shame. Although I take some solace in the fact that his ED article is the first result...
 
No "Friday" blog? How disappointing. As a former newspaperman, Sweets should know the importance of keeping a deadline.
 
Just went to his DA page to see if there was a new update yet. There wasn't.

Here's what there was:

Sweet's random favorites.JPG

Oh, and hey, if you're curious about the "love story" on the bottom there, allow me to clarify:

farting_in_my_hand___a_love_story__by_fartprincesssamantha-d87d0x6.png.jpg

Tell us again how you don't have a fetish, Jon?
 
Le Bateleur said:
Small request: could a mod or @Holdek edit the title of this thread to include Sweet's full name? This thread is currently not on the first page of Google results when you look up our hero, and that's a shame. Although I take some solace in the fact that his ED article is the first result...
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It may be enough for me to just add it to the beginning of the text of the OP. There's a nice symmetry between the title and that of the ED article.

Additionally, it might be appropriate for me to update the "Differences" section to show that Chris now makes money from his comics, and has embraced therapy and is becoming happier and less bigoted. :)

Edit: Oh, and another difference: Chris is no longer a virgin with rage.
 
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Holdek said:
It may be enough for me to just add it to the beginning of the text of the OP. There's a nice symmetry between the title and that of the ED article.

Additionally, it might be appropriate for me to update the "Differences" section to show that Chris now makes money from his comics, and has embraced therapy and is becoming happier and less bigoted. :)
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You know what I've wanted to do, but never got around to? Make a "Confirmed" post to Sweet's first response, confirming everything you originally said. Like, for example, you posted "*Is a welfare leech". He said, "Unsubstantiated claim. Pure blah-blah," only to be later quoted as getting welfare and refusing to search for a job. I wonder if there's a way to make a chart or something to show the truth to his falsehoods.
 
Shadow Fox said:
I'm sure if you asked him, he'd say that they treated him like a god, just like the other mortals did back in college.
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Sweet seems to prefer telling of his supposed worship as some sort of cautionary tale about temptations and duplicities of the college experience, like Icarus flying too close to the sun.

Dr. Merkwurdichliebe said:
This is an interesting topic, and one that has been the subject of academic research.

limits-of-supper-melding-with-dinner.jpg

From the accompanying text: "The decline of “supper” in the western states, the DC area and around Detroit augurs the end of its exclusive use for the end-day meal, this ostensibly New England practice is not only to some extent retained there, but ingrained in the Dakotas: supper has been extinct, to judge by the usage map, in California, Oregon, and Washington, and lost distinctive meaning in much of the rest of the country."

Link: Maps on Diction and Pronunciation in the U.S.
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In my own personal experience the destinction has been used primarily by people with a rural background, so that may explain some of the color shading in the less-populous states. I've actually had a couple of people in my family who grew up on farms be genuinely confused when I used the word "dinner" instead of "supper," but they were also at least a couple of generations older than me. My mom still makes the distinction but that's at least partially because she's an English language sperg. (She insists on refering to "lunch" as "luncheon." :roll: Grinds my gears.)

Anyway, it's still made on occasion like when people eat Thanksgiving-- and after-church Sunday-- dinner at midday.
 
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Holdek and Adamska's recent posts about Sweet's System made me remember something possibly relevant: Around the time he would have been an undergraduate, there were a few exposes of an actual, real-life sort of System at the University of Alabama. It was called The Machine, and it was a decades-old secret society[1] that ran the campus student government and Greek system and then boosted the campus leaders into state-level bureaucratic and elected positions. It was basically the recruiting and training grounds for a Good Ol' Boys network so long-standing and so successful that it looked like something out of a conspiracy theorist's fantasy.

If Sweet picked up on the articles about The Machine that would have been floating around in the 90s, his little trope-sponge head could have led him to assume there was a similar organization at ASU, and it would be the tiniest leap of Sweet Logic for him to have assumed the Machines/Systems controlled everything on campus, and therefore his misfortunes were a result of their desire to crush the outsider who was (in his mind) gaining too much influence.

[1] In the Skull & Bones sense, not in the Illuminati sense.
 
Holdek said:
Sweet seems to prefer telling of his supposed worship as some sort of cautionary tale about temptations and duplicities of the college experience, like Icarus flying too close to the sun.
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That is a good example of the double-think that Sweet engages in when talking about his downfall at ASU. Specifically, he laments getting bounced for things that he did (wrong-headed as he may be in his assumptions of what he was kicked out for), but he will insist that it wasn't his fault. "It's not my fault," he'll say, when he's made to answer for his actual deeds, while denying any wrong doing. In other words, he did it, sure, and he was alone in doing it, but the blame should be placed elsewhere.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
That is a good example of the double-think that Sweet engages in when talking about his downfall at ASU. Specifically, he laments getting bounced for things that he did (wrong-headed as he may be in his assumptions of what he was kicked out for), but he will insist that it wasn't his fault. "It's not my fault," he'll say, when he's made to answer for his actual deeds, while denying any wrong doing. In other words, he did it, sure, and he was alone in doing it, but the blame should be placed elsewhere.
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Yeah, it basically goes like: he was seduced by a decadent lifestyle of sumptuous buffets, phone sex, and free gifts of pennies by adoring fans after being groomed to be the Bad Boy of College Journalism, was advised by progressives to "look beyond his narrow view of normal," made some unspecified mistakes that he was never told not to make, and was cruelly hoisted on his own petard.

The other story that he more commonly gives is that his progressive co-workers got jealous of his success and adulation, plotted in secret to take him down whilst giving him a false sense of security by not being overtly and conspicuously mean to him, and did so with the cooperation of the highest levels of the university administration because they were threatened by a brash conservative voice the likes of which no one had ever heard in the state of Arkansas since the great Rush Limbaugh.

So Sweet: why double-talk, hmmmmmmmmmmmm?

@Le Bateleur I have added his name and some AKAs to the OP.
 
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Also, I was awarded this trophy this past week in relation to this thread:

Trophy.JPG

I am honored.

But, I could not in good conscience not share this award with my fellow Sweetstorians. Over the past two and a half years this thread has blossomed from an off-handed OP to a 5,000-post journey into the dark heart and mind of one of the maddest cows on the Web. True, in the relative scheme of the Farms, Iconcoclast is not a major lolcow. But this thread has nonetheless received over 100,000 views, which is a proud accomplishment no matter how you look at it. This would not have been possible without the diligent and joyous efforts we've made to gather, pasteurize, and homogenize this lulzmilk for public consumption (Warning label: product may still contain feces!), helped in no small part by Iconoclast's own visits to our humble barn.

You are all truly the Bad Boys of Kiwi Farming in my book.

Love,
Hollyberry
 
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