🐱 How to Stop Gossip With Magic

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CatParty

We’ve all been the victim of slanderous words by others, and some of us have even been the perpetrator of gossip. Unfortunately, rumors spread fast. So what do we do when gossip about us starts spreading like wildfire? We turn to magic, of course.

By following these six witchy tips, we can stop the scandalous whispers from becoming more than minimal hearsay. Let’s face it: Words can hurt. These spells will help you take back your power.

Sweeten Up the Situation

Write down the name of the person who’s spreading false truths about you on a piece of paper. Put the name of the gossip in a glass of sugar water (which consists of one cup of water and one tablespoon of pure cane sugar). Place the sugar water with the paper in it by the window for a week, to let the sun shed its energy and light (ever heard the phrase “sunlight is the best disinfectant?) on the person and matter. The sugar water and sun will remove the negativity from the situation — and even help the truth come out.

Freeze them Out

Occultist Shawnte Cato has a simple magical fix to gossip: “Take a Ziplock bag and white sheet of paper with the name of the offender written in black ink. Place the name of the offender in the bag and fill it halfway with water. Put the bag in the freezer and do not remove it.” This spell will freeze the person who’s spreading rumors from continuing their actions, stopping them in their tracks.

Use Candle Magic and Herbs to Change the Dialogue

Color magic practitioner and tarot reader Sarah Potter recommends candle magic mixed with color magic to alter the gossipy vibe. Sarah suggests using “an Indigo candle for this spell [because] color is crucial as indigo has the correspondence of stopping the spread of lies and gossip. Carve the phrase ‘All Who Speak Ill of Me’ into your candle. Dress the candle with olive oil, black pepper, frankincense, and cloves. This mix of herbs will halt the gossip as well as add layers of protection to you. Light the candle. Let the candle burn out and your spell is complete!”
Be cautious with this one and all spells involving candles. They shouldn’t be left unattended while burning.

Flush the Drama Away. Literally.

Author of Green Witchcraft and host of the podcast “The Fat Feminist Witch,” Paige Vanderbeck, wants the victim of salty and false words to reclaim their power from the gossiper. Paige suggests taking “a square of toilet paper and a marker. Carefully draw a set of lips in the middle. Write your name and the name of the gossiper. Around the edges of the paper, write down some of the rumors going around about you and face the toilet bowl. Carefully rip out just your name, and throw the lips in the toilet.” While you flush them away, say the following “(Gossipers Name), keep my name out of your mouth. And let it fall on deaf ears. Keep my name out of your mouth and your nose out of my business. I reclaim my name, and banish yours.”

Crystallize the Situation.

Renee Watt, witch and co-host of “Two Psychicks” podcast recommends using fire agate to free your energy from gossip. It’s a great stone to carry around with you all day as a protective talisman. Renee explains that fire agate “creates a protective ring around its carrier, and engulfs any negativity in its fiery energy. It also lends one a sense of power, which will aid in overcoming any gossiping bully! Next time someone throws shade at you, grab this crystal! Remember your strength!”

Make Your Own Anti-Burn Book. Well, Sorta…

Sometimes it’s best to squash the energy. This means literally smoking it out of your orb. Witch, tarot reader, and host of “Mystic Witch Podcast” Blue June uses an old Gaelic spell from Eastern Ireland in such situations. Blue June says to “take a powdered clove, a red pen and a small piece of white paper. Write the name of the person slandering you backwards onto the paper with red ink. You can keep it general by writing, ‘Whoever disparages my name.’ Light a red seven-day candle, burn a bit of your clove at 7AM and again at 7PM every day for seven days. Then set the clove onto your paper and at the end, burn the paper in the candle. The gossiper will cease or will not be heard as a result.”
 
I just got back from Costco with a giant box of ziplock bags, every last one of you that have ever rated me dumb are fucked now hahahahaha

You could not ziplock bag a post about shoving a cock up another man's anus because if you could then you could bag up every single one of Shiversblood's posts and not a single word of a Muslim making a suggestion to slam a cock into another man's anus would ever be heard ever again. You could also zip up bad ratings. Unfortunately in life sometimes all your problems cannot be solved by putting something into a ziplock bag.

This is only real talk. I mean I wish. I approve of your enthusiasm of course.

One day I would like your ziplock bag technique as it provides me motivation and inspiration to separate and categorise things in life. May the force be with you.
 
@Wyzzerd we need your professional opinion oh might sorcerer.

This is why you take advice from wizards and not witches. If it isn't obvious to everyone, not a damn one of these "spells" would work. You would get better results from a rain dance than any of this garbage.

In reality true masters of magic don't get bullied nor have gossip spread about them. Because only a fool would do that to someone when they are in fireball range.
 
You could not ziplock bag a post about shoving a cock up another man's anus because if you could then you could bag up every single one of Shiversblood's posts and not a single word of a Muslim making a suggestion to slam a cock into another man's anus would ever be heard ever again. You could also zip up bad ratings. Unfortunately in life sometimes all your problems cannot be solved by putting something into a ziplock bag.

This is only real talk. I mean I wish. I approve of your enthusiasm of course.

One day I would like your ziplock bag technique as it provides me motivation and inspiration to separate and categorise things in life. May the force be with you.
At least have the balls to tag @Shiversblood if you're going to talk shit about him in random threads.
 
The only thing that surprises me about this is that they didn't run a similar article claiming the same could be done to get trump out of office. I mean they have tried everything else at this point, why not magic?
 
I believe he has been "cursed" by witches, several times in fact. Its as effective as witchcraft has been or anything else that's been done to remove him, take your pick.
 
The only thing that surprises me about this is that they didn't run a similar article claiming the same could be done to get trump out of office. I mean they have tried everything else at this point, why not magic?
This already happened. I think there’s a thread here on it.
 
I have never lit cloves on fire. Seems like it would smell nice.

That bit of magic should be helpful if the reason people are gossiping is because you smell like dogshit.
 
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe witches should be burned to make sure the harvest doesn't fail.
People like to bash Twitter, but I hear that in Africa it's a fantastic way to find local witches to deal with the problem. There's also apps available to rate your local witch doctor.
I believe he has been "cursed" by witches, several times in fact. Its as effective as witchcraft has been or anything else that's been done to remove him, take your pick.
The curse backfired and instead became the Trump Curse that harms all who speak badly of Trump. Most recently it has caused the coronavirus and given China the biggest middle finger imaginable.

Shitty witches like that would get a free necklace if they were in Africa.
 
You could not ziplock bag a post about shoving a cock up another man's anus because if you could then you could bag up every single one of Shiversblood's posts and not a single word of a Muslim making a suggestion to slam a cock into another man's anus would ever be heard ever again. You could also zip up bad ratings. Unfortunately in life sometimes all your problems cannot be solved by putting something into a ziplock bag.

This is only real talk. I mean I wish. I approve of your enthusiasm of course.

One day I would like your ziplock bag technique as it provides me motivation and inspiration to separate and categorise things in life. May the force be with you.
Username checks out.
 
It's shit like this that makes me wish magic really was real. It'd be fun to see it blow back in their faces.
 
The only thing this article taught me was that if witches don't know your name, they can't do shit to you.
just further proof that magic and shitposting go hand-in-hand & that meme magic is real. If you can't be doxed, you also can't be hexed or cursed!
 
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