How do I find a Sasquatch boyfriend?

[Lidl Drip]

As you all know I will not settle for a man who watches porn or uses the Internet. I am looking for a porn virgin bf. My ideal man has never even looked at another woman before, but I will settle for one who has maybe seen one from a distance once. Since even Amish men have phones now and uncontacted rainforest tribe men hang around half naked woman all day I was thinking the only man out there is one who was raised in the mountains/woods with zero contact to civilization whatsoever. A Sasquatch/Bigfoot or maybe a man abandoned as a baby and raised by wolves.

Where do I find him? Is there any type of food I can cook for him to attract him? Is there a mating call I can practice? I am grateful for all insight, thank you for helping me in my lovequest.

 

[SentinentCloud]

Stop suggesting sandniggers

View attachment 5754367

this retarded user uses huffpost to prove a point

laught at this retard user

 

[GenericEdgelordSupreme]

Eat mushrooms and get lost in the woods. The rest will unfold naturally.
Video

 

[BirdUp]

i didnt know you were a turkey tom fan

 

[Night Crawler]

Just go fuck a nigger. It would be like the same thing.

Then people can call you a mudshark and laugh at your mudshark monocles.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Sasquatches are attracted to low quality cameras. Try going for a walk in the nature with early 00s standalone webcam hopped up on something that makes your hands shake.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I'm not sure a man who never watched porn exists nowadays, even in very religious communities. I just assume they all did and hope to God they aren't coomers.

 

[Odd Opossum]

Stop suggesting sandniggers

View attachment 5754367

Stop posting retarded questions and beliefs and you won't get retarded answers.

 

[Aiōn]

Would you consider a blind man?

 

[draggs]

Have you tried Amazon

I hear there are lots of books available there detailing human women getting split in half by Sasquatch cocka and absolutely loving their squatch husbando, moving into a cave in the deep woods, etc.

Also look at that blind dude with a loving wife and like four kids, be honest kiwi farms dot ess tee users how much did that video make you wanna rope your incel selves

 

[Lidl Drip]

Would you consider a blind man?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=MvZks4OSIVU:54

They probably find some way to be perverts still like ASMR or audio porn.

 

[Lazy Printer]

Try a mount athos orthodox monk, they live in relative isolation and are old so they probably never used internet.

 

[Pomniman]

Since you're already aspiring to be Chris-chan in the premise to this joke (?) I guess you have no choice but to wait till your father has dementia and molest him before anything else can happen.

 

[cybertoaster]

or uses the Internet.

................but you're using the internet.

 

[Lidl Drip]

................but you're using the internet.

Yeah, and? I use it responsibly! Men can not be trusted with it.

 

[cybertoaster]

I use it responsibly!

 

[Lidl Drip]

For example I don't post reactions images like a twitterfag!

 

[eatler]

For example I don't post reactions images like a twitterfag!