How did I almost die?

[Testacles Maximus]

I almost died two days ago. How? If you guess right, you win the thread, and I will personally dm null asking him to sing trololo at your next birthday party, you fat piece of shit.

 

[Banquet Meal]

post surgery anesthesia complications?

 

[Meat Target]

You nearly bled out after injecting a bunch of helium into your scrotum nad it popped.

 

[eatler]

Gay orgy gone wrong?

 

[Testacles Maximus]

All of those things did happen, but they weren’t what almost killed me. Although one of you is close.

This isn’t a joke by the way, I literally almost died, I escaped it by the skin of my fucking teeth.

 

[parsnip]

Fentanyl?

 

[spinal gas chamber]

Obesity and autism.

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

Autoerotic asphyxiation. That's the truth! Don't deny it!

 

[Testacles Maximus]

One of the three most recent posts is getting warmer.

 

[DankSmoker]

I've been hit by several cars so it can't be that, they aren't dangerous. Did you slip in the shower?

 

[Your Starter for 10]

You were underwater welding and you got your air and acetylene tanks mixed up.

 

[Mr.Miyagi]

You zigged when you should've zagged.

 

[Aljam]

Cancer, or self inflicted ginshot.

 

[eatler]

Fentanyl?

placing my bet, it was a homless drug addict who tied to kill you.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

You were walking along, thought you saw a quarter under a car and almost decapitated yourself trying to get it. Show some self respect man it was just a piece of foil.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

Did you slip in the shower?

I did but your mom caught me.

 

[DankSmoker]

I did but your mom caught me.

You must be very sickly and frail if she managed to catch you, did you almost die from an autoimmune disease?

 

[Moths]

Sleepy boi nearly went sleepy time forever

 

[rel=alternate]

Heroine OD?

 

[Testacles Maximus]

did you almost die from an autoimmune disease?

That’s always been the dream but no.