How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Work just ended. I'm not too exhausted to edit a video and I've got food cooked and ready so I dont have to do anything today.

I'd say its pretty good.
 
I can't stop fucking sperging and powerleveling in one way or another as of late. Going to get banned from the entire forum and/or halal'd at this rate, fuck.
 
My long walks and meditations are paying off, I am becoming less afraid of my own life, also my posture has become rather chad as of late since I started sleeping on the damn floor.
 
FuckedUp said:
I can't stop fucking sperging and powerleveling in one way or another as of late. Going to get banned from the entire forum and/or halal'd at this rate, fuck.
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Maybe start keeping a journal/diary to get that stuff out of your head without running the risk of getting banhammered? Works for some folk, anyway.
 
FuckedUp said:
Doesn't work like that for me. Though I found out mixing alcohol and Xanax is a bad idea which actually explains a lot...
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Notoriously so, in fact. In that case, join a specifically anonymous only board and sperg/PL there, maybe? You're alright, hate to see you get halal'd.
 
A crazy girl who I dated for, like, two weeks all the way back in March just sent me a text that says "I love you!" out of the blue. I feel bad just ghosting her message, but she's legitimately crazy. Like, found out two weeks into the relationship she's a cult member crazy.
 
My anxiety is up again. I just accepted into graduate school and I’m worried that I won’t do well in it. Hopefully it will ease up once class actually starts and I know what I’m in for.
 
JambledUpWords said:
My anxiety is up again. I just accepted into graduate school and I’m worried that I won’t do well in it. Hopefully it will ease up once class actually starts and I know what I’m in for.
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Don't worry about Grad School, life is generally much chiller than in undergrad. But if you're a naturally anxious person, budget and plan for a big hit of anxiety/dread once you start nearing the end of your grad program and you start worrying about where you're going to go and what you're going to do after you graduate. Plan out well in advance your transition and you'll be less affected by (it my experience). Either way, don't worry now. Just do your best and brown-nose the profs so hard that you can smell what they ate for lunch.
 
Grandparents need random shit all the time, this house is demanding. Mans has some good energy on him right now, needs to take it easy on himself tho.
 
I feel like a super shitty partner/friend because I haven’t been able to see my boyfriend or friends in person much if at all. I really want to more than anything. But I’m also treated like a shitty person at home if I go out (not even in public spaces, just to say, my boyfriend’s house), and treated like a plague rat. Pretty much shamed and yelled at if I literally even leave my room.

I’m a horrible person no matter what I guess. My friends probably think I’m not trying hard enough and don’t like them.
 
On another note, just realized I haven't had a watchlist-tier violent fantasy for at least the past couple days, first time in months I've been able to go more than a couple hours without having one.

edit: why the fuck did i post this
 
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Coffee Druid said:
I feel like a super shitty partner/friend because I haven’t been able to see my boyfriend or friends in person much if at all. I really want to more than anything. But I’m also treated like a shitty person at home if I go out (not even in public spaces, just to say, my boyfriend’s house), and treated like a plague rat. Pretty much shamed and yelled at if I literally even leave my room.

I’m a horrible person no matter what I guess. My friends probably think I’m not trying hard enough and don’t like them.
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I'm sure your friends understand why you haven't been trying to see them in person. This might sound silly, but I'd try talking to your boyfriend and some of your friends about it. I assume you guys are close enough that a convo like that wouldn't be awkward. Either way, its better to know what they're thinking rather than assume the worst without knowing.
 
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