How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Getmeout said:
Sorry, I think the describing of it as "voodoo" scared me. Grew up in a very Christian household and that's exactly what my mom said and why she wouldn't let me get mental help, "Therapy, pills, they're all from the devil. Jesus will heal you, why look to humans to do it?". Ig it brought me back. Idk, I should be less sensitive and have my head screwed on straighter. Not your fault.
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I didn't mean "voodoo" as some sort of racist dog whistle, and I don't even have any particular hostility toward voodoo either, I just meant that psychiatry is barely medicine and is largely based on nonsense. But it worked for me, apparently worked to some extent for you (that is up to you), and if it works for you, it works for you.
 
I'm still missing the friend I lost. It's hard, but I know these things take time.
Otherwise I'm feeling ok and grateful.

Have a good weekend, everyone
 
I feel as the universe is reaching out, and going: "hey, how you doing over there Motherf*ucker?
So I've reached out to that one friend and we've been slowly catching up, which is great!
Another long-time friend I've been terrible about keeping up with, texted me and we talked for almost two hours, which I so needed because I needed to unload.
Yesterday a neighbour had put things to the curb, and I picked out a bag I liked--today I found two crisp $50 bills in the pocket of that bag.
My head is fucking boring, I feel like I should give the money back or at least put it towards bills.
 
We finally got the drunkard downstairs to stop blasting music, but now a new upstairs cunt is doing it instead. 2AM RnB, so it's not just drunken noise but an actual cunt thinking to himself "Music at 2am is fine, it's a holiday after all".
Otterly said:
It really is still voodoo
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I read of a cyclist with permanent spine damage and he somehow learned to think the pain away. On one hand, it seems reasonable that we invent medicine that replace organic processes in the body to FLESHSHAPE our existence. The other, we literally fall victim to placebo. Everything is made up.
Duke Nukem said:
The gymcel life is the life for me, I don't know why I'm doing it because I'm just a sperg with no future.
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The gym meme is meant to be an easy and approachable way for losers to get used to progress, building confidence and then springboarding into other things. But they don't. Most gym-go'ers are socially active and strive to achieve things, you'd think it easier to meet such friends at the gym.
(((I am NOT a jew))) said:
I did get utterly raped by it financially though,
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It's free here, including the food, so half the slots go to people who bounce back because they can't afford their meds or because they're homeless and want the free housing and food.
 
Getmeout said:
I'm just going to assume (hope) that you no longer mean that "You're a stunted baby" thing anymore now that you understand I was calling out pedophiles.
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Yeah, that was a misunderstanding on my part. That said I still disagree with your statement on a purely practical level.

AnOminous said:
My one experience with a psych ward was highly positive. Of course I had an absolute Cadillac health care plan at the time, so it was more like a resort than a ward.
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I paid NOTHING for being in a psych ward because at the time I was a kid who overdosed etc. Admittedly the food was great, I had a safe place to sleep for a while, and the other kids in the ward were nice to me too. Everything was free.

That said I still despised it because I was unable to leave and that felt very very claustrophobic like being arrested and thrown in a jail cell I guess. The psychiatrists felt entitled to knowing your past trauma and prodding at your brain in a way that felt violating, and they were all assholes tbh.

When I returned to the system as an adult I said no to any therapy because to me it feels like mindrape. The government now gives me sedatives paid for by taxpayer money so I can live a normie life. Success? Maybe.
 
ilovecornsyrup said:
Yeah, that was a misunderstanding on my part. That said I still disagree with your statement on a purely practical level.
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That's cool, from my view when these types of people are close to death they like sort of exasperate their efforts to groom, so it's sort of like a ticking time bomb where ya when it blows up they'll die but so will everyone else. But I get how the way I'm saying it probably sounds a bit absurd and confusing.

I'm not gonna pl too much about my experience in the ward but essentially I was at a point where ya I just couldn't be in society, I was an active danger, the ward felt more like timeout to me. I was like 18 and I really did not feel a difference in my life if that makes sense? Like my life outside is mostly me getting up, eating, reading in my room, taking a walk outside, talking to friends on the phone, arguing with my parents, and then sleep. The ward was literally just that minus the "arguing with my parents". Another difference was when I had my schizo meltdowns, instead of destroying the entire room and banging my head against the wall till I'm drooling, they injected me with sedatives and I kinda just stopped caring about whatever I was hallucinating about. So for me it was just my normal life except the only differences in it were either positive or neutral. The only thing I really missed was school, I kinda missed having homework? Weird, right?

When it came to the psychiatrists, they were like whatever. If I didn't wanna tell them something they'd just go "Ok." and the session would end there. My sessions were never long cause apparently "I mean, it's obvious you have this" and hey I guess she was right cause every other professional I've seen has been like "Ya, this is definetly like what you have, it's textbook". Other patients complained about the psychiatrists being mean but I personally never got mean vibes, just like. Kinda straight-faced.

I really loved the therapist they set me up with but I lost contact with her unfortunately. For me the real mindrape was when I came back home and told my family about how much better I felt and they were like "Nooo it didn't help! Cause if it helped then why did you have to be away from us? We CLEARLY make you happier". Ugh. Whatever
AnOminous said:
I didn't mean "voodoo" as some sort of racist dog whistle, and I don't even have any particular hostility toward voodoo either, I just meant that psychiatry is barely medicine and is largely based on nonsense. But it worked for me, apparently worked to some extent for you (that is up to you), and if it works for you, it works for you.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6lFTD9O-XMw
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Oh no no no, I didn't take offense to it cause of anything racial! It's just that growing up in a Christian household, the word was only used as an insult, a heavy one at that. Like not only was it garbage, but you were actively immoral for participating in it. I wasn't calling you racist dw lol! I just grew up with the idea that "nonsense"/"unpredictability" = bad and evil to partake in. It's something I have to unlearn
⋖ cørdion ⋗ said:
I read of a cyclist with permanent spine damage and he somehow learned to think the pain away.
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Holy chad.
 
Cherry Milk said:
I'm still missing the friend I lost. It's hard, but I know these things take time.
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Don't expect to ever get over it. I still am not over my best friend dying of an OD and being found by his little brother with a needle in his arm. You just don't get over shit like this, ever. It's just pain you permanently have.
 
AnOminous said:
Don't expect to ever get over it. I still am not over my best friend dying of an OD and being found by his little brother with a needle in his arm. You just don't get over shit like this, ever. It's just pain you permanently have.
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I'm sorry to read this. I can't imagine how awful that must be for you.
 
Me and my husband just got done weeding the garden!

We have an asparagus patch in the backyard that was cultivated by the previous owner of the house (probably at least a decade old) and my dad would always come over and weed it for me, so after he died last year I'd barely touched it since. This year I hadn't seen as many stalks pop up as usual, so I was terrified that I'd let the weeds completely choke out the asparagus crop. But thankfully the damage wasn't as bad as I'd feared! Once we got rid of the weeds and dead grass, we uncovered quite a few young stalks that'd been hidden. If we keep up maintenance even just every couple weeks, I figure we'll still manage to get a couple side dishes worth from the remaining crop this year :)
 
I'm so tired of arguing over the most stupid and nothingburger shit with person I really care about, and the most ugly part that they don't gaf about this in slightest. Oh god give me strength to go through it.
 
I've been at the same job for over 10 years and hardly had a single complaint. Then we got a new manager, who treats me like a 23 year old scrub fresh out of clown college. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't wrong about literally everything ever. I got a speech today over how I'm just not making fast enough progress on my current project where he's ordered me to metaphorically ram a square peg into a round hole. So they're bringing in another tech (who I could run circles) around to "help", because they've "done this sort of thing before".

I have never been so fucking insulted in all my life. If I didn't already have another job lined up and planning to quit soon anyway, I would be telling certain people not to come to the office tomorrow (in Minecraft).
 
Getmeout said:
Not saying DON'T work out but be careful with using it as a replacement for having a life, that can really fuck you up.
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i have a very normie home routine with a dumbbell and calistenics. I am not into bodybuilding at all but i think every male should fit lifting heavy thing into their life, i wished i had learned that when i was younger, my go to was always cardio cardio and more cardio but that doesn't do anything for me these days.

I might even have to drop it eventually because i'll either have to buy new equipment to keep increasing weight or just not eat as much protein in my diet to keep up with the training, but i am not there yet.
 
LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] said:
i have a very normie home routine with a dumbbell and calistenics. I am not into bodybuilding at all but i think every male should fit lifting heavy thing into their life, i wished i had learned that when i was younger, my go to was always cardio cardio and more cardio but that doesn't do anything for me these days.

I might even have to drop it eventually because i'll either have to buy new equipment to keep increasing weight or just not eat as much protein in my diet to keep up with the training, but i am not there yet.
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Ah ok that's very fair, imo I think everyone should lift heavy things in their life. Whether that be groceries or moving boxes. Glad you're not in bodybuilder culture, not that bodybuilding is bad, but the culture is hella toxic and honestly reminds me a lot of pro-ana.

Thread Tax: I got the LPS car in the mail but it seems like it got busted... And was just very dirty. I told the seller and he issued me a refund, now I'm just trying to fix it up to still be usable. I think I'm doing good, but my hands are covered in glue and disinfectant.
BackToBack said:
I'm so tired of arguing over the most stupid and nothingburger shit with person I really care about, and the most ugly part that they don't gaf about this in slightest. Oh god give me strength to go through it.
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Ohhh I think I know exactly what you mean, the little disagreements that turn into huge arguments and you step back and think, wait why are we even arguing over this? Why are we mad at eachother over this incredibly inconsequential stupid thing? I remember when I had a nearly friend ending argument with someone about My Little Pony lore. That shit sucks lol
 
Getmeout said:
Ohhh I think I know exactly what you mean, the little disagreements that turn into huge arguments and you step back and think, wait why are we even arguing over this? Why are we mad at eachother over this incredibly inconsequential stupid thing? I remember when I had a nearly friend ending argument with someone about My Little Pony lore. That shit sucks lol
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Ah, yes you are. I don't know what to do at this point because, not to get too tmi, the previous time this happened we didn't talk for a week and of the end of it I was genuinely spiraling asf since I don't have anyone to talk to besides them. Never could have I guessed that I will be venting on kiwifarms but here we are. Ehh.:stress:
 
Soup ‘n’ Salad said:
Me and my husband just got done weeding the garden!

We have an asparagus patch in the backyard that was cultivated by the previous owner of the house (probably at least a decade old) and my dad would always come over and weed it for me, so after he died last year I'd barely touched it since. This year I hadn't seen as many stalks pop up as usual, so I was terrified that I'd let the weeds completely choke out the asparagus crop. But thankfully the damage wasn't as bad as I'd feared! Once we got rid of the weeds and dead grass, we uncovered quite a few young stalks that'd been hidden. If we keep up maintenance even just every couple weeks, I figure we'll still manage to get a couple side dishes worth from the remaining crop this year :)
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The previous owner of our house grew asparagus, no matter how hard I've tried, it comes back. I really really hate asparagus, lol
 
BackToBack said:
Ah, yes you are. I don't know what to do at this point because, not to get too tmi, the previous time this happened we didn't talk for a week and of the end of it I was genuinely spiraling asf since I don't have anyone to talk to besides them. Never could have I guessed that I will be venting on kiwifarms but here we are. Ehh.:stress:
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In my experience, either two things are happening here; Your friend is way too sensitive and takes the smallest disagreements as the end of the world, or you're way too sensitive and take the smallest disagreements as the end of the world. Neither are bad btw, it's a very very common symptom of autism (Which I'm guessing either one of you have), RSD; rejection sensitive disorder. Where the smallest dissent feels like a stab to the the gut.
 
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