How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Also been thinking about my relationship with my family, I feel like my parents are disappointed in what they got for a son instead of what they were hoping for.

Having a sperg for a son is not something I'd wish upon anyone.

Maybe, but chasing parental approval is a tough one. If they love you and are good to you (or even if not), don't (try not to) let it eat you up. Do your best for you.

 

[Duke Nukem]

lifting heavy thing make Grug feel good

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Sometimes I don't feel like going but a gym membership beats a therapist's office any time, anywhere. This week it's probably not going to happen because I work right now. Hours are atrocious as well, as when I leave, everything is closed here.

Maybe, but chasing parental approval is a tough one. If they love you and are good to you (or even if not), don't (try not to) let it eat you up. Do your best for you.

That boat has sailed a long time ago. We don't agree on much and I can't rely on them for anything, but I still think about it once in a while.

 

[The Mighty Bundus]

I have been suffering from constant migranes as of late. The caffine in most migrane meds completley fuck me up, nothing seems to be working and I am hesitant to try new meds. Other than that I have been doing fairly well its just hard to get things done due to the pain. Any kiwis got some advice?

 

[JustStopDude]

I got a phone call today from the "head of talent acquisition" of the engineering company I got fired from just a little bit over a year ago.

"How did you get this number? This is my personal cell phone number"

"I saw your account on LinkedIn"

"That doesn't answer my question"

From this conversation, I learned the following things:

1) this HR ghoul thinks I'm desperate and I couldn't find a job in this economy over the last 13 months (I had an offer letter from my current employee less than 48 hours getting fired).

2) per my old company, I wasn't fired, but I quit, so I can reapply for my job. This really pisses me off because I filed for unemployment on the off chance I didn't take my current job and the state of VA denied my claim based on my old employer saying I quit. I love how they just admit they did this petty shit to me.

3) I can move to Houston on my own dime and get my old job for a straight salary of $92k a year. My last year with my old company, my base pay was $187k a year, with over time, double time, travel and hazard pay not included. My last full year with the company, I got paid $270k before taxes. Now I get to opportunity of doing the same shit, like trying to commission steel mills in Pakistan and gold mines in Burkina Faso, for less money the average shithead MBA makes.

"I'm not interested"

"Are you sure? In this economy, opportunities like this are becoming rare"

"I already have a job. I don't know how you got this number but I want you to delete my information from whatever database you got it in and leave me alone"

I hung up and blocked the number.

This economy is so fucked.

 

[Getmeout]

Also been thinking about my relationship with my family, I feel like my parents are disappointed in what they got for a son instead of what they were hoping for.

Having a sperg for a son is not something I'd wish upon anyone.

Well, that's not your problem. It's not like you decided to be autistic, if they can't understand that... If they treat you as if you're a disappointment for merely being born a certain way as if you can just decide one day "Hmmm! I'm gonna be normal!" then imo they never deserved the perfect son.

It's a hard thing to internalize but I think it's important, carrying this guilt is useless cause you were literally just born that way, and if they treat you like that's somehow your problem; then that's THEIR problem. You get what you get and you don't get upset, many people would be grateful to even have a son that has both arms and legs and isn't in prison.

I know this year i've lost some weight just from clothes fit, no idea how much, i've been deliberately avoiding weighting myself because i know its not nearly enough and probably much less than i counted for even though i've been doing everything right.

i am also gonna be maxxing on eggs, sardines and lentils for protein because i am worried about money and penny pinching is the best i can do for the foreseable future. I am probably fucked and my life is gonna be over, i just want to reach my ideal BMI, at least i want to have that.

The gymcel life is the life for me, I don't know why I'm doing it because I'm just a sperg with no future.

Sometimes I don't feel like going but a gym membership beats a therapist's office any time, anywhere.

Not saying DON'T work out but be careful with using it as a replacement for having a life, that can really fuck you up. Balance the gym with other hobbies and aspirations. Basing your entire life on your looks, something that changes constantly and drastically, is a recipe for lifelong body dysmorphia. Keep the gym fun, not something to justify existence or as a replacement for introspection

SPEAKING of therapy... Thread tax: Considering getting a therapist but idk honestly? The meds work really well and it's like a feeling of where before I was like "My life is terrible but idk why I'm doing everything right", on meds it's like "Oh! That's why it's terrible, cause I have a bunch of awful things internalized". I guess the point of therapy is to find someone who can help you figure out how to un-internalize those awful things. But I always get a bit nervous talking to a therapist, I think I internalize a lot of what my mom used to say, "Therapists just want your money", "They won't help you, they'll just tell you to turn away from God", "Therapy is a tool of the devil", so even though I know that's all bs I still get jittery and closed off in therapy.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Computer said today I'm more likely to be a faggot than to have a gf


Deeply concerning

 

[AnOminous]

Personally I just go off of what I notice helps, I try everything, and if something obviously isn't helping I ditch it, and if something obviously is, I keep it.

This is basically psychiatry as medicine. Think of it as like aspirin. It seems to work, I take it, my headache goes away, sure it has a million different weird side effects, but fuck it, I wanted that headache gone, it's gone, that's what I'm using next time too.

But if aspirin were completely unknown, and someone tried to introduce it in the market, it would be completely shot down and banned, because what the fuck is wrong with this shit and we don't even know how it works? And now you can get a prescription for it for blood thinning to stave off strokes, and even in "real" medicine, they still have only the vaguest understanding of why that's a good idea.

Psych meds are full of this, where they pump a bunch of people full of drugs intending to do one thing, then it fails, but somehow seems to have a knock-off benefit for another thing, then they re-package it for that.

Whatever, if it works for you, it works for you. Just don't turn into a fucking lunatic ranting and raving pro or anti because you just end up like the nutjob obsesso we have on this thread.

I have been suffering from constant migranes as of late. The caffine in most migrane meds completley fuck me up, nothing seems to be working and I am hesitant to try new meds. Other than that I have been doing fairly well its just hard to get things done due to the pain. Any kiwis got some advice?

These masks you can put in the freezer don't make headaches go away but they can make it easier to lie down in the dark and do nothing.

I don't actually get migraines but I do sometimes get severe headaches and a freezing cold mask is a good no-meds relief. If you have something severe and long-lasting you can have multiples in rotation so you can swap them out.

I'd definitely recommend them over nuking your liver with NSAIDs.

 

[Duke Nukem]

@Getmeout website is sucking dicks right now so I have to reply like this

Honestly I just feel like they are disappointed in what I am. It's not quite "homophobic pastor with a gay son" level but there is an enormous disparity between my personal beliefs and experiences and my upbringing. And it only seems to be growing over time. To say much more would be power leveling, so I'll pause on that for now.

Honestly I know a guy who goes fairly often. He shed a lot of fat, as for me I'm just doing what I can to get in a similar spot. I've cut a lot of stuff out of my life for the foreseeable future, I have a lot of things to fix and rearrange in my life.

 

[Getmeout]

Whatever, if it works for you, it works for you. Just don't turn into a fucking lunatic ranting and raving pro or anti because you just end up like the nutjob obsesso we have on this thread.

Idk why, I just don't get side affects. I'm on a few meds and I haven't really noticed any side affects, I know when I started them I got a bit drowsy (Which my psych warned about) but atp it's pretty much gone. Same goes for non psych meds like Claritin or something.

I have experienced randomly dropping my meds because I wanna try being anti-psych pilled, and then I go a few weeks where I'm back to my usual schizo self harm hallucinations, and I get back on too sleepless and unhappy to care about being "based". So idk if that rant was the best thing for me, haha.

Honestly I just feel like they are disappointed in what I am. It's not quite "homophobic pastor with a gay son" level but there is an enormous disparity between my personal beliefs and experiences and my upbringing. And it only seems to be growing over time. To say much more would be power leveling, so I'll pause on that for now.

You became your own person, you made your own way in life. Honestly I think that's the ideal for a child, if they don't like that they're nuts.

Honestly I know a guy who goes fairly often. He shed a lot of fat, as for me I'm just doing what I can to get in a similar spot. I've cut a lot of stuff out of my life for the foreseeable future, I have a lot of things to fix and rearrange in my life.

That's cool, my advice was more so warning to have stuff you do outside of that, since your comments sounded like you had nothing but the gym to do

 

[AnOminous]

I have experienced randomly dropping my meds because I wanna try being anti-psych pilled, and then I go a few weeks where I'm back to my usual schizo self harm hallucinations, and I get back on too sleepless and unhappy to care about being "based". So idk if that rant was the best thing for me, haha.

Be REALLY careful about "randomly" dropping meds. Something psychs will never admit is a lot of these substances have substantial withdrawal effects, including a resurgence of whatever they were intended to stop.

 

[Getmeout]

Be REALLY careful about "randomly" dropping meds. Something psychs will never admit is a lot of these substances have substantial withdrawal effects, including a resurgence of whatever they were intended to stop.

I don't really wanna randomly drop them, it's just something I do sometimes cause I get paranoid people are judging me for being on meds ig! Not really as schizo as how Butter felt about it, but it's a similar feeling of fearing you're somehow dislikable on medication. I think it started when I watched this shoeonhead clip where she said she doesn't take meds despite her mental illness cause it makes her more funny and she "refuses to be a slave to big psych". I remember 16 yr old me watching that and thinking, wow, will people really think I'm funnier if I'm off meds? Does it make some big cool political statement? I wanna be political and funny! It's stupid and it's not a part of myself I'm proud of, but it's a part of me that's hard to shake off.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I'm starting to notice that my vision on my right eye is progressively getting more blurry. I need to see an eye doctor soon, it sucks so bad.

 

[TheTitKoker]

@Getmeout website is sucking dicks right now so I have to reply like this

Honestly I just feel like they are disappointed in what I am. It's not quite "homophobic pastor with a gay son" level but there is an enormous disparity between my personal beliefs and experiences and my upbringing. And it only seems to be growing over time. To say much more would be power leveling, so I'll pause on that for now.

Honestly I know a guy who goes fairly often. He shed a lot of fat, as for me I'm just doing what I can to get in a similar spot. I've cut a lot of stuff out of my life for the foreseeable future, I have a lot of things to fix and rearrange in my life.

Those who have a say in YOUR life are those who pay your taxes, period.

Far as gym goes - until YOU feel like you want the change, earnestly, not much external factors will help aside from maybe friends or a romantic interest to impress. Go get even a pair of dumbbells instead of some gym membership. If you start touching them conscientiously and then regularly - you can get into calisthenics on top of that and get ready to either upgrade or drop the idea altogether. Hell, going for walks but actually doing it is even cheaper and a start. Shadowboxing is also free and can be a better motivation to vent than just lifting heavy things for all hell.

 

[Otterly]

think what he's trying to say is that he is floridly psychotic. Iirc, AnOminious regularly divulges how schizo he is

He’s not. If he was he would be incapable of being on here holding an eloquent conversation. That level of psychosis is incompatible with function. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel very bad and is suffering, but we aren’t at the ‘bring wrestled to the floor and shot full of depot Thorazine’ right now (and hopefully will not be.)

I have been suffering from constant migranes as of late. The caffine in most migrane meds completley fuck me up, nothing seems to be working and I am hesitant to try new meds. Other than that I have been doing fairly well it’s just hard to get things done due to the pain. Any kiwis got some advice?

any muscular tension? Do you wear glasses? Go and get a good back and shoulder rub down, and get your eyesight checked properly, the kind of check where they look at the eye as well as test sight. Then go to your doctor, and get them to take a look.
And people don’t like to hear it but migraine is also emotional - any stress or upset?

My last full year with the company, I got paid $270k before taxes.

Weeps in europoor…

But if aspirin were completely unknown, and someone tried to introduce it in the market, it would be completely shot down and banned, because what the fuck is wrong with this shit and we don't even know how it works?

Ha, that’s not a bar even now. Paracetamol they’d not approve because the gap between therapeutic dose and lethal is so low, but ‘we’ve no idea how it works’ isn’t a bar. We have no idea how almost any psych meds work. They flannel a lot about serotonin it nobody has a clue how loads of stuff works. Anaesthesia? No idea, paracetamol? We do t know how that works either. It’s all still voodoo, you’d be horrified,

Psych meds are full of this, where they pump a bunch of people full of drugs intending to do one thing, then it fails, but somehow seems to have a knock-off benefit for another thing, then they re-package it for that.

Yup, viagra was a heart medication. All sorts of stuff gets repurposed. It really is still voodoo

don't really wanna randomly drop them,

Don’t, very bad idea,

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

I don't really wanna randomly drop them

Butter would randomly drop her meds and post the most embarrassing shit on this website too. Do with that information what you will and stop looking up to Youtubers, especially one that pulled out all her hair from sheer mental illness.

 

[long waters]

The gymcel life is the life for me, I don't know why I'm doing it because I'm just a sperg with no future.

You have to live up to your name! Can't just call yourself Duke Nukem and NOT hit the gym!