How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Hey, everyone.
I feel as though something has changed. I no longer indulge in overly hateful or violent content, such as videos of murders, suicides, and whatnot. The war on Iran, actually, has made me feel rather hopeless.
I'm not particularly religious and I refuse to get into it because it always feel like I'm talking to a wall, but damn, nothing seems to make sense when one's sleep-deprived and purposeless. Being in your twenties feels especially confusing due to the fact that I'm nowhere near close to marrying someone and having kids, but I also am not a kid in any sense of the word. Hell, I haven't even graduated yet.
About more "hopeful" stuff—I am back to coding! Of course, I "vibe-code" instead of doing the real thing, because I can't realistically expect myself to go over stale ass Python documentation with no Subway Surfers playing in the background. But hey, my project is getting better over time.
I will admit, though, I've been indulging in language-learning coding projects for years now. This might very well be my third year using AI to give a few ideas a try. Funnily enough there's been thirty-something "attempts" in the past three-ish years, some bigger or more complex than others. I'm trying to make everything fit together.
I'm not really a programmer although I kinda get the gist of things. You tell your computer what to do, and it does it. But there are a few technicalities:
  • If files bloat up a bit much, they'll work just fine but it becomes increasingly harder to understand how all something-thousand lines fit together. So you must separate them according to, say, more granular purposes.
  • If you have a lot of files, it starts to become a nightmare to remember which file does what, regardless of how descriptive the file name might be.
Keeping a clear balance of both is tough. I took several breaks here and there for the past month and I'm now making everything fit together in a much more elegant manner. Unfortunately, I can't share the code because it'd be easy to get sniped from it, considering future trends.
 
mama mia i cooka the pizza

mozzarella, parmesan, basil, tomato, palm heart and hot sausage, everything home made for friday night

life's good
 
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Fuck anxiety, I'm done letting it control me.

I'm going to imagine it as a little serb/jrw/gypsy rape abomination and just send it away.

Sometimes you encounter faggots that make you go "goddamn, I better not end up like that nigger!"

Idfk, I'm hyped up and about to deadlift 465 lol
 
It's been a week of hell. I got this zoomer Mormon kid with me. Real good electrician. Pays attention and listens to me. We were supposed to be done two days ago, but it's been 14 hours a day non stop. We already had to delay getting to another rocket test site in Texas due to the schedule slippage.

Out of the blue, a high up a site aerospace engineer asked if I worked for "XYZ", which is the previous company I worked for that forced me out. Basically, even though I was the lead field engineer, they put an idiot from HR in charge of the field team. Everyone with five years or more experience ended up quiting within weeks, which I suspect was on purpose by corporate.

Apparently XYZ has four people at the main security checkpoint and they are asking for me. I have no idea what is going on. I tell the zoomer to stop what he is doing and wait for my return.

I go out there. I see the HR idiot that was my boss and three pajeets he replaced me with. Since we are using XYZ equipment, he wanted me to get them on site so they can see what we are doing and document it like this is some tourist trap and I got fuck all else to be doing.

"You want me to escort you and foreign nationals onto an Air Force base? Brian, are you retarded?"

I turned around, walked up to the security guard and told him I had no idea who these people were.

I get the feeling that I am in for a lot of emails come morning time.
 
Y'know what annoys me? Those guys who are like "Waaah I'm so lonely no one wants to be my friend" and you start hanging with them and you realize, oh! Now I see why you're so lonely! Cause you're boring af!
Like I've met so many people who are like "Oh ya, Home, I'm a lonemaxxer weirdo too." and then turns out all their hobbies are "Walking, watching TV, reading, breathing, blinking". It's like, no dude you're not lonely cause you're "so quirky and weird, da normies can't handle me!!!" it's cause you're BORING. All your interests are the bare minimum responsibilities for a human with ONE anime or tabletop game you like as a treat. Just a crumb of indivuality. And because that's the only interesting thing you allow yourself, you have no personality outside of that thing.

What blows me is that they THINK that no one likes them cause they're "weird", like there's "too much going on" and it's like lmao bro it's the OPPOSITE. You've got NOTHING going on, no one can get along with you cause there's nothing to get along WITH. I like PS2 games, I like 2000s kid's cartoons, I like capeshit comics, I collect tons of random shit, and 90% of the online stuff I like (webserieses, computer games, etc.) are considered "troonslop". This is why people don't like ME, cause I'm WEIRD, to most people this is "too much" to handle. You... You're just... Nothing! And y'know what's most annoying?

When they get mad at YOU for ghosting them! It's like-- What am I SUPPOSED to say to you??? What do you WANT to talk about, give me a subject, cause I can't-- Nigga, I just CAN'T talk about Warhammer for the 567th time. Or fuckin'-- That one anime with the buff guy. Idk. Like please just have anything interesting going on, maybe your day! How was your day! But when you ask THAT it's like "Oh, I just stay in my room all day playing Fallout" NIGGA GO OUTSIDE MAYBE??? DAMN. Go to the park, have a STORY to tell. And then after a while they text you like "Where'd you go :("

????????????????????????????

What do you want me to say to you, you're not even a PERSON. You are CARDBOARD. You're a WALL.
Rekeita's Kidneys said:
Fuck anxiety, I'm done letting it control me.

I'm going to imagine it as a little serb/jrw/gypsy rape abomination and just send it away.
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Personally what helps me combat anxiety is rather treating it like it's a massive leviathan to slay, and I've got Excalibur. It gives me more serotonin when I overcome it, cause I feel like I've killed a dragon and saved the village, which of course encourages me to overcome it more.
 
I have come to the realization that the culmination of who I am has been because I forgot what love is, and how to help people. All people. I have been chasing a selfish dream and it has led to nothing but problems in my life. I am going to stop chasing the selfish dream and begin to learn to love again and help others. I did it in IT, but now I want to work in mental heath. Fuck my dreams. There are people out there who have a better chance at theirs and I am going to help them one way or another.
 
Getmeout said:
Personally what helps me combat anxiety is rather treating it like it's a massive leviathan to slay, and I've got Excalibur. It gives me more serotonin when I overcome it, cause I feel like I've killed a dragon and saved the village, which of course encourages me to overcome it more.
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My parents disowned me. I think I'm just going to move out and ghost them.
 
I went grocery shopping and my inner self was something like this as I look at the horrifying bill.


Only Dust and lint was life inside my wallet... The horror... The horror...
 
One of the children said she was disgusted while deveining shrimp and afraid he'd resurrect

Am i a bad person for scaring her saying that under the sea there are giant men eating shrimp? Another student was really quick deveining them. He caught up quicker then me back then when i was learning. I'm so proud of this little fella, he's gonna be a great cook if he stops trying to be a sneaky rat eating from the mise en place before finishing the cooking

Pretty good day
 
estacks said:
I forgive my parents. I needed to sleep off the gamma scrambling. Sucks for the people that liked the above post.
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This is the correct thing to do. It's a shame the "no contact" movement is so big with young people.
souschef said:
One of the children said she was disgusted while deveining shrimp and afraid he'd resurrect
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Did you tell her only Jesus is resurrected and not shrimp?
 
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souschef said:
One of the children said she was disgusted while deveining shrimp and afraid he'd resurrect

Am i a bad person for scaring her saying that under the sea there are giant men eating shrimp? Another student was really quick deveining them. He caught up quicker then me back then when i was learning. I'm so proud of this little fella, he's gonna be a great cook if he stops trying to be a sneaky rat eating from the mise en place before finishing the cooking

Pretty good day
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Is this one of your kids or are you a teacher or something?
LongTallTexan said:
This is the correct thing to do. It's a shame the "no contact" movement is so big with young people.
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It is hard.
 
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