How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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So recently, I've had some pain near my belly button and found out yesterday from my doctor it's a ventral hernia which is benign, and a relative trained in medicine with years of experience theorized the same. I made an appointment to see someone at the hospital in mid April whom I was referred to, and we're apparently going to discuss how to proceed from there if I need surgery or not.

I first felt this when doing housework improving infrastructure last year,* and it resurfaced after a bad shouting match with a Baby Boomer relative who went out of her way to provoke me while I was trying to cook for myself to make my dinner. In a way, I'm glad I have the hernia since it puts a shackle on me to force me to keep my anger in check given my issues with it throughout my life. Brain needs to rewrite itself to deal with problem solving internally instead of possibly flying into a rage at someone or mentally working myself into a frenzy, hence why I'm somewhat content with having a "thorn in the flesh" here.**

In other news, I'm getting healthier after shedding more unhealthy habits and being in the process of more, praise the Lord. This plus brain fog clearing up. However, I've got a lot of excess energy now I don't know what to do with, really. I do like the ambition that's come with this, plus my notably growing confidence.

* Went away on its own; I was able to push a lump back into my belly painlessly.
** I will note, however, I only really feel it when stress exasperates it, or I put a finger or two there and it feels like someone pinching. I also feel it acting up on its own as well every now and then.
 
I've been crying a lot lately. Life feels pointless. I can't fucking hold an interest in anything. I feel like I'm being strangled by my emotions. I'm just taking my time, working through my emotions, letting myself feel. All the anxiety and depression I conquered ages ago are back with a vengeance. I just have no motivation to do fucking anything.

I'm coping in my own way. It's not healthy to suppress your emotions. I really want someone to talk to, so if you feel like comforting me, reach out.
 
The Repeated Meme said:
I've been crying a lot lately. Life feels pointless. I can't fucking hold an interest in anything. I feel like I'm being strangled by my emotions. I'm just taking my time, working through my emotions, letting myself feel. All the anxiety and depression I conquered ages ago are back with a vengeance. I just have no motivation to do fucking anything.

I'm coping in my own way. It's not healthy to suppress your emotions. I really want someone to talk to, so if you feel like comforting me, reach out.
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He who endures to the end will be saved. That's a Biblical principle I live my life by, and I am firmly of the mind no matter how bad it gets, I'm not killing myself because I'd go to Hell. I'll pray for you.

Physically, you could exercise and eat healthy (you don't need to pay money for a gym membership, just take walks and do bicep curls with small weights at home) and work on small things like one or two "tasks" for the day. Sketching is something to help as well, think animal life or trees or something in nature.
 
Candlelight Desolation said:
He who endures to the end will be saved. That's a Biblical principle I live my life by, and I am firmly of the mind no matter how bad it gets, I'm not killing myself because I'd go to Hell. I'll pray for you.

Physically, you could exercise and eat healthy (you don't need to pay money for a gym membership, just take walks and do bicep curls with small weights at home) and work on small things like one or two "tasks" for the day. Sketching is something to help as well, think animal life or trees or something in nature.
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I will endure. I'm not going to let this beat me. I am just so fucking fed up. Suicide is NEVER on the table. Ever.
The Feline Solution 2 said:
SSRI/SNRI discontinuation symptoms
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This shit is the fucking worst which is why I take no medication for my depression. I'm doing this the hard way, by fucking getting over it.

Anyway. Enough feeling sorry for myself. Time to get something to eat.
 
It would be really nice if i could stop waking up at 3am

It's close to what they say it's the witching hour so where are the witches? Where they at
 
In a four month period, I had to be on antibiotics twice to deal with unrelated infections. Now I'm developing a new issue because I was on the antibiotics.
 
Feeling burnout from work. The lack of social interactions is not something that usually bothers me but lately it's been getting to me. Plus the overall overstimulation of the environment has become extremely draining. But granted, it was what I expected when working at retail. Might need to invest in some noise canceling earplugs.

An old lady the other had a long conversation with me about her life and how important kindness is and how we need to stand up against assholes bashing retail workers and customer service - then said that we don't need any more assholes like "orange man".

One of my coworkers was completely confused about who the orange lab was until I said "Trump"

"Oh. I didn't know," she said. Bless her heart

On the flipside I'm getting sick again so I get to have some days off. Gonna take the week off. Hurray.

I might also need to buy a new bed. Might and might, I definitely has to. Can feel the springs now and they've begun cutting me when I sit at certain places.
 
CFC-12 said:
I've somehow managed to catch a cold three separate times since Christmas. Once from one of my dickhead friends who took a sip of my beer when he had a cold, once from a sick family member, and once from ???. Only the second actually got me sick-sick, and I had to spend a weekend in bed. The other two were those head colds where you're not sick enough to miss work, but just sick enough for it to be an annoyance. I guess it's just been a rough winter for colds this year.
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I'm sorry to hear that truly. I hate getting sick so much, it makes me have a terrible mood and horrible appetite, so I don't feel the need to eat soup or anything, then the sickness just gets worse until it just goes away on its own. Yikes, I wouldn't drink anyone's beer or sip someone else's cup if I were sick, how rude of your friend. Im getting worse today sadly, I may have to go to the ER or CVS to get someone to check on my throat. There's a growing lump and I've experienced this before every time I move somewhere new. I just hate the feeling that it stretches to my eardrum and now I can sort of hear myself breathing through my ears even if that makes any sense.

Yeah, I hate head colds so much, used to get them in early community college days during spring time and it was flat out annoying, and the stuffy noses didn't help. I think it's just been getting worse from here for me. I may just have to take care of myself more, and even quit smoking if I can fucking get my head in the game for once.
 
Outside of being broke, things are ok, I guess.
I have flat feet which are killing me at the moment (and suggestions to ease it are welcome!), but otherwise life is seemingly ok.....
 
Work in Healthcare Sales. Not glamorous, the money is decent but nowhere near where you'd think with that industry. Trying to pivot to sales in adjacent industry but not having a lot of luck. First sales job, and its not as bad as the stories I've heard about realtors but it fucking blows. No competition within my own company, but the space is crowded and competition is ruthless. I can do the job but I don't know if I'm cut out for it. I have a lot to be grateful for, lovely wife & kid with another on the way, I appear to have my health even if I'm getting a little fat, I just feel aimless and like I'm not laying the proper groundwork for my little ones. The only thing I care about is making sure they don't end up in the sludge.
 
Cherry Milk said:
Outside of being broke, things are ok, I guess.
I have flat feet which are killing me at the moment (and suggestions to ease it are welcome!), but otherwise life is seemingly ok.....
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I use a custom set of orthotics in really comfortable work boots, but that's still not enough to cover being very active and constantly shifting weight on them. My feet are crazy flat, the entire foot imprints on the ground when I step. Stretching out your foot muscles after anything strenuous helps a little, as does soaking in a warm epsom salt bath. When I was on my feet 8 hours a day shifting boxes, walking home at the end of every shift was like walking on nails. The only actual solution to the pain is to be on your feet less, which I'm not sure how realistic that is.
 
I got sick after eating at some steak joint 2 days ago. Its 70 degrees outside and I can't even go walk in the park without sweating and running out of breath.
 
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