How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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:story:

God damn mother did it again, she was at the butcher's and only picked up dinner for herself.

My stomach still feels shit and I really didn't want to go but now I'll have to.

My sleep is weird and now I'm waking up at 5:30am and my brain feels like tired mush.
 
Motherf*cker said:
According to Grok I bought cheap peppermint tea from China and that's why it tastes like minty yerba but I couldn't resist 100 tea bags for $15.
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Think of it this way: you’re going to pay 15 cents to drink garbage 100 times. Now does it sound like a good deal?
 
Jesse Nicholas Radin said:
I am abnormally butthurt regarding yet another X account dedicated to stalking me.

They claim to be some sort of "vigilante group" but it's all about me, as usual.
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Sorry to hear that man, that sucks.
BABANGUIDE64 said:
I hope it wasn't the girl I liked and her bf in a church I visited. I don't want to stumble upon anything like that. I want peace and tranquility, not extra stress because of an actual trifle a normal man wouldn't care much about.
Going to work tomorrow.
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Could you ask the girl who the guy she was with was?
PetiteFeet said:
I'm afraid I've fucked up my voice from singing too much Ghost. It's the only music that I've been super in to that gives me throat issues. I don't want to go to the doctor's and be told "lol go find a vocal coach", I don't need to be some opera star. I just wanna sing in the comfort of my own home. It could also be a result from being a shut-in who has been more or less selectively mute for majority of the last 15 odd years.

Yay, neuroticism.
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If it makes you feel better, I feel like my singing voice has gotten worse as I've aged. I used to be a soprano and could hit high notes effortlessly, now it's easier for me to hit low notes. I also think some of it is neuroticism on my part though. I do the most singing in church, and if I sing at full power, my voice is pretty loud which honestly makes me self-conscious, especially when singing high notes cuz I'm always afraid my voice will crack kek (Also not a lot of other people in the congregation sing so I feel very exposed). As for your throat issues, I mean idk if this will fully solve them but staying hydrated, especially by drinking either tea or water is something I've always been told helps, so maybe it'll help you.
PetiteFeet said:
Forgive yourself for not using your break for "useful" stuff, and do what you can today instead of tomorrow.
I've heard that some ADHD sufferers do well with the pomodoro technique, which is essentially just setting a timer and working on something for that amount of time, then taking a break. Personally, I'm beginning to understand that I need to do my chores BEFORE I turn on my PC and sit down, otherwise I likely won't get anything done that day aside from walking my dog.
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I second the Pomodoro Technique, love it so much. Another thing that might help is going on YouTube and typing in study with me or study with zoom. The former has the Pomodoro Technique being used by irl ppl who are studying, but the latter is kpop idols or animal crossing characters who are studying on a zoom call, and there's instrumental music playing in the background. I've found though that no matter what, having someone mirror what you're doing - in this case, studying - is a great motivator and makes it easier to get things done.
Yellow Rose Of Texas said:
Messed up real bad,now I have to un-fuck the whole thing and I don’t exactly have a clue how. At least it could’ve been worse.
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Praying for you man.
long waters said:
Pretty much what Juan said. I think a lot of "racist" people would agree that when we say we hate niggers we mean the behavior and not black people. I've seen plenty of milkniggers in my life who act abhorrently.
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You are 100% accurate.
long waters said:
It's like these dudes on pol were saying a decade ago, stop being a self-defeating faggot, don't get depressed and just keep on being a good person.
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Needed to hear this today, thanks man.
 
Getmeout said:
What level of class is it? One, two, or three? I know some colleges classify their classes with levels, such as "Computer Science I", "Computer Science II", "Computer Science III" and it pretty much symbolizes difficulty. Idk if every college does that tho.
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There's no level identification, but the class does get more involved in the third semester. All 3 semesters are integrated into one classroom, so we get to see what the 3rd semester students do, and at least to me, it doesn't seem any more difficult than what I'm doing now.
 
Well it feels like a month and a half of bullshit settles down in a days time, heart problem decided to go into remission so I can just book my operation without any rush, the covid I got was mild and didn't even leave me with a sore throat, and even if my car battery died overnight from the snow storm the local auto shop had that shit fixed right on time for me to pick it up before I had to worry about my morning drive. Even have an orientation to a technical pipeline on friday morning which will heavily open up opportunity for me. Either carpenter, electrician, or wielder are all on the table with it. Hope this means shit is looking up finally.
 
73_Autistic_Fuck_54 said:
There's no level identification, but the class does get more involved in the third semester. All 3 semesters are integrated into one classroom, so we get to see what the 3rd semester students do, and at least to me, it doesn't seem any more difficult than what I'm doing now.
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Hm, what I would do is wait till the third semester, but I'm also not very smart. If you truly feel like it's a waste of money, maybe start looking for some different avenues.
long waters said:
Pretty much what Juan said. I think a lot of "racist" people would agree that when we say we hate niggers we mean the behavior and not black people. I've seen plenty of milkniggers in my life who act abhorrently.
Even if per-capita "your people" aren't doing so good, that's just all the more reason to be proud to be a good civilized fellow. Be the change you want to see in the world. It's like these dudes on pol were saying a decade ago, stop being a self-defeating faggot, don't get depressed and just keep on being a good person. If you believe you are good and you act like a good person, then the world will be a better place with you in it.
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Gonna be honest, that image made me feel worse. I just wanna live my life, I don't want to have to change the world. I don't want to devote my life to fixing a problem I never caused, I'm no prophesized hero. Are these the only options? Either go to jail or create a pure bloodline of civilized negros, my life always has to center around this fact. I fucking hate being black. I'm not even a good person, I'm just not a criminal, but I'm still a petty retard that gets pissy at my friends for taking too long to respond to a text or some shit. I remember a friend used to always point out any mildly dumb shit I'd say and comment "Great job subverting stereotypes", I don't want this to follow me everywhere. I just wanna be a hermit living in the woods or something, I'm tired of playing PR. They're not "my people", they're random strangers who look mildly similar, but both political sides say I have to treat them like they're family. I don't know them, I don't know anyone, I don't even know myself.

I'm sorry, I think I'm a bit manic typing this. I'm going to log out before I say any dumb shit, just know I do genuinely appreciate trying to make me feel better.
 
Update: Turns out I was getting manic, and I fell back into the whole schizo "I need to tear my skin off" thing. I'm fine now tho. I should probably handle that Forsaken Wanderer thing now.
 
Getmeout said:
Update: Turns out I was getting manic, and I fell back into the whole schizo "I need to tear my skin off" thing. I'm fine now tho. I should probably handle that Forsaken Wanderer thing now.
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Glad you're feeling better.
Don't overthink the whole being good thing. If you're just living your life and just treat people with the same courtesy they offer you, that's already good enough.

Although in a way I can kind of get what you were saying. I can see how it can be interpreted as if it's something pressuring you to do something that seems too complicated. I think that probably everyone deals with some kind of pressure in life, be it their family or immediate society. For me it's stuff like "you need to start a family", "you need to go to church", "you need to get a phd". If something like "subverting stereotypes" is something that you feel pressures you, I can see how strangers implying stuff like that can be annoying.
 
I have a goddamned cold and I would give anything just to taste again. Or for my nose to stop running for even like one second. On the other hand, free excuse to not go to the gym today so whoop whoop.
 
long waters said:
For me it's stuff like "you need to start a family", "you need to go to church", "you need to get a phd". If something like "subverting stereotypes" is something that you feel pressures you, I can see how strangers implying stuff like that can be annoying.
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Ya, you get it. I don't like the pressure of having to "prove myself" for no reason other than I look a certain way, it's just a lot of stress that feels unfair ig. I also have the "you need to start a family" pressure, so the comments of "Have black babies and teach them not to be niggers" especially struck a nerve. Don't worry though, you didn't annoy me. It's just a subject that gets me to breakdown ig, I've noticed I'm sensitive in this regard. Sometimes I even start hyperventilating and thinking to myself "I need to get out of my skin, I need to tear my skin off". Sometimes it feels like my skin itself is a blanket of pressure.
long waters said:
Glad you're feeling better.
Don't overthink the whole being good thing. If you're just living your life and just treat people with the same courtesy they offer you, that's already good enough.
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Thanks, overthinking is an issue I have ig. I'd like to just live my life, doing what I think is right, being kind to people, AND taking pride in my heritage and culture. But I feel guilty doing the latter, it feels unearned, self-centered, narcissistic. And I'm scared being proud to be African makes me look like a nigger, sorta like how people who say they're proud to be American are assumed to be MAGA. Maybe I need to take another trip to Africa, just to make peace with that side of me.

I also haven't taken my meds in a few days so maybe that's where some of this is coming from, I have to ask for a refill but I'm too lazy to.
Thank you again tho :)
 
Staying on top of work, volunteering, going to social events, finishing paintings, writing poetry, exercising, and generally being a productive person. Yet somehow I'm still full of this nihilistic intensity that makes me want to jump into a sprawling ocean of fire. Such is life, I suppose.
 
Normal-Style Human said:
Staying on top of work, volunteering, going to social events, finishing paintings, writing poetry, exercising, and generally being a productive person. Yet somehow I'm still full of this nihilistic intensity that makes me want to jump into a sprawling ocean of fire. Such is life, I suppose.
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Erase that “yet” and you might find yourself in an even happier place. In my experience, when you’re doing right by yourself and still feel like you want to throw yourself into the sea, that’s you embracing life for everything it is, good and bad. Not a bad place to be at all :)
 
Flavius Claudius Julianus said:
Cut down a bunch of ivy in my garden today, it was getting seriously overgrown. My problem now (or once I finish cutting off the fresh growth) is what can I use to kill the root system? I sprayed a FUCKTON of weed killer into the fresh stumps last year, and it didn't seem to do shit. Drill holes, filled them up, did absolutely nothing.

Short of some illegal DDT or other plant holocaustmaxxing, what can I use? I'm not green-fingered at all, so welcome the advice of more experienced farmers.
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Try horticultural vinegar.
 
Okay I got no idea what the hell happened but I woke up today and I swear to god I felt my head is at an unusual distance from the floor. I got out a measuring tape and I am literally a different height than I remember being... Somehow, there's an extra inch. What the fuck? did I stretch and straighten out my spine slightly or someshit? Is God smiling upon me and gave me one last little bonus spurt to help me turn into the ideal version of myself as a reward for me somewhat caring about my posture and trying to maintain an exercise streak this year? Shit, I didn't even do that! I only lasted, like, a week, and I've been "getting ready for another attempt next week" since then! I'm not crazy, As soon as I mentioned it to my mother she immediately agreed, "Son, you DO look different, what the hell?!"

Cheating luck? What am I supposed to do with this now?
 
I'm sick. My sensory issues have made being sick a horrendous experience every time and turn me into a huge wimp about even simple colds. Your body is weird and hot, it's disgusting to swallow, my nose is raw from blowing it, it's like I can taste and smell and feel every particle of dust in the air, and no matter how you adjust you can't get much relief because you're just sick and have to ride it out. As a kid with a cold I would just bawl my eyes out from how damn uncomfortable it was. Fortunately I am not as dramatic about it anymore but I will still bitch and moan about how icky I feel to all of my annoyed loved ones, tyvm.

On a positive note: my dog seems to be able to tell when I'm not doing very well, physically or emotionally, and will be more chill. When I'm sick he will just sleep with me all day, and politely ask to go out when he needs to. Grateful for him.
 
I only slept for 4 hrs after spending 25 hrs awake. Please someone help me fix my sleep schedule.
 
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