How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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AnOminous said:
My dog died in the middle of the night. This fucking sucks but wasn't unexpected. He was on a half dozen different meds but his liver numbers just kept getting worse, and could barely walk. Fucking Pomeranians.

He had the luxating patella condition where both kneecaps were out of their sockets. One leg had atrophied into complete uselessness and the other was barely functional. The vets wouldn't operate on it because he also had serious liver issues.

I inherited this dog from my dad. Everything I ever loved is dying. Fuck this evil world.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. It seems like you gave him a good life and that’s really all you can do. Nobody can outrun death.

I had to put my little nigga down two years ago and I’m still hurting. Take care 💚
he had dental issues and had to regularly get teeth pulled. He also had a really bad hip and was given injections for arthritis.

A couple weeks after one of his dental procedures I noticed a lump on his jaw bone and when he opened his mouth it looked like someone had chewed a big piece of pink gum and stuck it into his mouth. Turned out to be super aggressive fast growing tumour in the actual jaw bone, which I already knew was bad news since that shit is hardly ever benign. Vet told me he would eventually starve once the tumor burst in his mouth and he would be in too much pain to eat. She suggested having his jaw removed but I would have rather fucking had my own jaw removed before putting him through that.

Eventually he stopped eating as much and started bleeding from his mouth. He kept shaking his head and he couldn’t relax. I put him to sleep within a month of diagnosis. He still had enough energy to play (some pain relief from the arthritis injection I guess) and I wanted him to go before he started to suffer. He was about 11 years old and the weirdest cat I’ve ever met. I miss him so much 😞
 
⋖ cørdion ⋗ said:
How I feel about this job I "just" got. It's reasonable, it's harmless, it doesn't tear at my body, and all the while I read all these threads of people unable to get a job, remembering how fucking soulcrushing job hunting is, I'm still sorta considering it. I took a single look at a job site and got so fucking depressed. Even if I won't lose my current job, the sheer idea that I have to find a new one eventually cause I won't thrive here sucks. Alternatively, two of the country's 4 regions are merging specifically into my old offices, so there'll be a lot of jobs I can apply for in.. half a year ish time. Unlike my last job there's no deadline to get out of this one, as I'm just accumulating office experience which is exactly what I aimed for in my previous jobs, but man. I really need to get used to leaving work at work. My coworker does that, leaving a half-full inbox because we technically got 1-3 days to reply, and I always race to reply immediately.
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I feel you, it was why I was having so many second thoughts about leaving
I need the money and this job pays well, but this... nightmare im now in is destroying me. I cant even look for new employment because of how soul crushingly tired and depressed its making me
but after yesterday I knew that I have to do this. I have to leave
 
AnOminous said:
My dog died in the middle of the night. This fucking sucks but wasn't unexpected. He was on a half dozen different meds but his liver numbers just kept getting worse, and could barely walk. Fucking Pomeranians.

He had the luxating patella condition where both kneecaps were out of their sockets. One leg had atrophied into complete uselessness and the other was barely functional. The vets wouldn't operate on it because he also had serious liver issues.

I inherited this dog from my dad. Everything I ever loved is dying. Fuck this evil world.
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I'm so very sorry. If you need a fren to talk to, DM me.
 
Rocket-fueled Wheelchair said:
I’m so sorry for your loss. It seems like you gave him a good life and that’s really all you can do. Nobody can outrun death.

I had to put my little nigga down two years ago and I’m still hurting. Take care 💚
he had dental issues and had to regularly get teeth pulled. He also had a really bad hip and was given injections for arthritis.

A couple weeks after one of his dental procedures I noticed a lump on his jaw bone and when he opened his mouth it looked like someone had chewed a big piece of pink gum and stuck it into his mouth. Turned out to be super aggressive fast growing tumour in the actual jaw bone, which I already knew was bad news since that shit is hardly ever benign. Vet told me he would eventually starve once the tumor burst in his mouth and he would be in too much pain to eat. She suggested having his jaw removed but I would have rather fucking had my own jaw removed before putting him through that.

Eventually he stopped eating as much and started bleeding from his mouth. He kept shaking his head and he couldn’t relax. I put him to sleep within a month of diagnosis. He still had enough energy to play (some pain relief from the arthritis injection I guess) and I wanted him to go before he started to suffer. He was about 11 years old and the weirdest cat I’ve ever met. I miss him so much 😞
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My little furry demon is 12 or 13 and I know she doesn't have too much time left so I'm showering the little shit in as much love as I can while I can.
 
AnOminous said:
My dog died in the middle of the night. This fucking sucks but wasn't unexpected. He was on a half dozen different meds but his liver numbers just kept getting worse, and could barely walk. Fucking Pomeranians.

He had the luxating patella condition where both kneecaps were out of their sockets. One leg had atrophied into complete uselessness and the other was barely functional. The vets wouldn't operate on it because he also had serious liver issues.

I inherited this dog from my dad. Everything I ever loved is dying. Fuck this evil world.
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Oh man, I am sorry. It seems like you can't catch a break. Your dad is taking care of him now, please be kind to yourself. It sounds like you did everything possible, given the poor little guys' condition.
 
We lost our old fella in October, he was two months away from 13 and he had chronic pancreatitis and kennel cough which made his husky Roos very sweet and gentle just like him. He got to the point where his pancreatitis kept getting tripped andhe couldn't handle food anymore.

I'm sorry to hear about your Doggo @AnOminous
 
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The Repeated Meme said:
Man I feel you. You're not alone. Life can feel pretty pointless sometimes. I've been seriously depressed ever since I lost my job. I hope I can get a new one soon.
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I've been pretty depressed too lately. I've been job hunting for 4 months and I've been rejected countless times. Sometimes I can't stop thinking "what am I doing wrong?" Logically I know I'm not doing anything wrong, we're just dealing with a horrible job market. All we can do is keep applying, we will find something. :feels:
AnOminous said:
My dog died in the middle of the night. This fucking sucks but wasn't unexpected. He was on a half dozen different meds but his liver numbers just kept getting worse, and could barely walk. Fucking Pomeranians.

He had the luxating patella condition where both kneecaps were out of their sockets. One leg had atrophied into complete uselessness and the other was barely functional. The vets wouldn't operate on it because he also had serious liver issues.

I inherited this dog from my dad. Everything I ever loved is dying. Fuck this evil world.
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So sorry for your loss man, that sucks. Patella conditions are horrible, my family had to put down our Newfoundland puppy because he had a patella condition that even if the vets operated on it, it probably wouldn't have ever fully healed. I hope you can get a new dog, it might not ever fully replace this dog, but it should help ease the pain. :feels:
 
Rocket-fueled Wheelchair said:
She suggested having his jaw removed but I would have rather fucking had my own jaw removed before putting him through that.
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A similarly awful surgical procedure was in the cards if he got his liver numbers up. The option was surgery on one leg and amputating the other. I felt awful that one of my first thoughts when he died was relief that I didn't have to make that decision.
 
RomanianSchizo said:
I've been pretty depressed too lately. I've been job hunting for 4 months and I've been rejected countless times. Sometimes I can't stop thinking "what am I doing wrong?" Logically I know I'm not doing anything wrong, we're just dealing with a horrible job market. All we can do is keep applying, we will find something.
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God damn. You too, huh? Yeah it's rough out there. Worse case scenario I have to wait another 4 months and I can maybe get my old job back. It's not totally hopeless.
 
Spent most of the day with my parents. I made pizza poolish last night to prep for homemade pizzas for dinner. I still don't know what I'm doing wrong with the dough in question but it's still delicious, and it's stupidly easy to make.
The snow is finally beginning to melt, after 33 days of sub-zero temperatures. I can't decide if I'm elated or upset over it. I love snow, I love winter and I love the feeling of walking outside on a clear, crisp winter's day. Hearing the snow creak under my feet is indescribable. At the same time I've been going a little stir crazy, my dog has been refusing to go on longer walks due to the temperature and the snow.

I'd been feeling decent for most of today, compared to my usual gloomy disposition. I went to bed early to see if I could relax and maybe get my usual hours of sleep but attempting to rise earlier tomorrow, woke up at 10:30PM ish and couldn't sleep anymore. I took a shower and put on some music, suddenly I'm feeling depresso.
I don't mind having moods that swing but I hate the sudden switch with zero real triggers because I cannot figure out what I did "wrong," to avoid in the future. It is what it is. I'll try to take comfort in the fact that I made a large batch of delicious marinara and meatballs that I can portion and freeze tomorrow, and that my dad and I helped eachother making delicious pizza for our saturday dinner.
 
AnOminous said:
My dog died in the middle of the night. This fucking sucks but wasn't unexpected. He was on a half dozen different meds but his liver numbers just kept getting worse, and could barely walk. Fucking Pomeranians.

He had the luxating patella condition where both kneecaps were out of their sockets. One leg had atrophied into complete uselessness and the other was barely functional. The vets wouldn't operate on it because he also had serious liver issues.

I inherited this dog from my dad. Everything I ever loved is dying. Fuck this evil world.
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I've never owned a dog so idk if this is gay or not, but I know whenever my friend's pets would die, she just internalized the idea that they're at peace at an apple orchard now. Like, it sucked that she couldn't see them anymore, but they're happy now. I don't know if thinking like that could help, either way I'm very sorry about your dog and the health complications he went through. Same friend lost a dog to prostate cancer and it was pretty depressing watching him slowly fall apart.

Is there such a thing as black guilt? I've been trying to draw more often, but I always feel guilty drawing black characters unless it's them dying or being made fun of. I've noticed I also have been feeling guilty looking in the mirror and seeing that I am, in fact, black. I feel like I should be apologizing for something, I keep thinking about that Ukrainian girl on the train. Make it stop, I don't wanna turn into an ERFA, she was cringe.
 
Cut down a bunch of ivy in my garden today, it was getting seriously overgrown. My problem now (or once I finish cutting off the fresh growth) is what can I use to kill the root system? I sprayed a FUCKTON of weed killer into the fresh stumps last year, and it didn't seem to do shit. Drill holes, filled them up, did absolutely nothing.

Short of some illegal DDT or other plant holocaustmaxxing, what can I use? I'm not green-fingered at all, so welcome the advice of more experienced farmers.
 
The Repeated Meme said:
God damn. You too, huh? Yeah it's rough out there. Worse case scenario I have to wait another 4 months and I can maybe get my old job back. It's not totally hopeless.
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It is rough out there, but we gotta stay positive. There's no way we'll be unemployed forever.
Quijibo69 said:
I'm doing good, walked 5 miles today and got new shoes.
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Congrats man, that honestly sounds like fun!
 
tentatively posting here to ask if anyone is available to talk or something I really feel so depressed i think I'm getting tired of it all (:_( I can't seem distract myself from these thoughts with things like hobbies or with classes and its just getting too much i don't care if I sound like afaggot saying this
 
I have taken my doctor's advice and given up taking gravols to sleep because it doesn't help my malabsorption issues but now I'm sleeping less.

I know, I just need to deep breath and think sleepy thoughts :optimistic:

I love that everyone came complain about sleep and how fucking sleepy they are but one bad night's sleep and they fucking cry and take whatever the fuck their doctor has given them while telling me that I should stay away from all the things which might help me sleep.

Fuck you. And,...fuck you

Dog and cat have taken over my bed, they look comfy and are both snoring.
 
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I weaned off antidepressants recently. Horrifying to realize the antidepressants suppressed my actual self.
 
mounki said:
tentatively posting here to ask if anyone is available to talk or something I really feel so depressed i think I'm getting tired of it all (:_( I can't seem distract myself from these thoughts with things like hobbies or with classes and its just getting too much i don't care if I sound like afaggot saying this
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A post like this isn't likely to get responses. You're not outlining a problem. "I'm depressed and vaguely suicidal maybe" reads as "give me your time/attention/energy".

If you can give an indication of what it is that's making you feel bad, people might be able to respond to that more constructively.
 
A spot of trouble I got myself into recently(I refuse to elaborate) caused a judge to nail me with fucking court-mandated Alcoholics Anonymous meetings like wtf. Alcoholics Anonymous, seriously motherfucker? What is this the goddamn 1990s??? Stupid fucking old decrepit ass Boomer judges giving people these antiquated outdated fucking sentences, what's next join the military or go to prison???? Stupid old decrepit hag.

So anyways, I heard rumors that I just have to "play the game" whatever that means. Basically a little birdie told me the most delicate way for me to handle this situation is to actually go to a couple of AA meetings so I can find new drinking buddies but then skip the rest of the meetings and just write my own signature on the little paper they give you to "prove" you attended the AA meetings.

Someone basically told me if you just forge signatures nobody will even know or care cause they don't really verify that. What should I do? I'm tempted to go with the forgery thing cause I have way better things to do than attend these corny AA meetings I don't give a fuck about. Fucking 1990's ass punishment. Anyways...
 
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