How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Did treatment help you at all? A life of big pharma is all that they recommend for us isn't it?
It certainly did at some degree. Medication doesn't fully alleviate your mood, but it does really help with it. You might need therapy as well as I do.
The small pleasure in life for me would be not working. But I am trapped in the wage cage. Without freedom I cannot appreciate anything.
That's not a small pleasure, tho. I was talking about appreciating sunsets or enjoying your meals. Everyone needs to work, and not only for the money, but for haviving a reason to exist. Most of us would feel miserable without something to do. But that might not be enough to feel purpose.
Yes... we lack purpose. We as men need it desperately. We have been told we are worthless and we have been tossed into the gutter.
To me, purpose is to try to tackle a problem in this world, and this world is full with them. It can be as big as the causes some activists do (even if the cause is stupid sometimes), or as small as helping your family survive. What is indeed important, is that a sacrifice must be done. It can be money, time, or other resources. You don't need to fully commit to have your purpose tho. Do whatever you can and able to depending on your situation.
 
Top stuff! It would've never occured to me to do it this way! Thanks! Now i need to see how hard i am going to get fucked by the current gold prices, i completely forgot that they surged to high heavens a week or so ago and are at a historical high.
You are indeed going to get fucked by gold prices, but see it as a long term investment. It’s very romantic to have something made for someone. There’s a few incredible jewellers I’ve seen and if I’m ever well off I will absolutely be commissioning a few things. I follow a few of the student fairs that people exhibit degree work on - that might be a way of finding someone incredibly creative but not established yet (might be cheaper.)
This for example I saw and thought was so beautiful - green stones, yellow gold and an organic nature inspired form:
IMG_4911.jpeg
Good luck!
 
It certainly did at some degree. Medication doesn't fully alleviate your mood, but it does really help with it. You might need therapy as well as I do.

That's not a small pleasure, tho. I was talking about appreciating sunsets or enjoying your meals. Everyone needs to work, and not only for the money, but for haviving a reason to exist. Most of us would feel miserable without something to do. But that might not be enough to feel purpose.

To me, purpose is to try to tackle a problem in this world, and this world is full with them. It can be as big as the causes some activists do (even if the cause is stupid sometimes), or as small as helping your family survive. What is indeed important, is that a sacrifice must be done. It can be money, time, or other resources. You don't need to fully commit to have your purpose tho. Do whatever you can and able to depending on your situation.

I clicked out of the thread and had to come back in bc your last paragraph there was interesting. I don't think I've heard it put that way before: we constantly talk about or refer to "sacrifice" as something usually extraordinary, unpleasant (and/or it either is or we amp it up to be something noble like a parent taking a bullet for a child; or conversely maybe a parent will resent that they sacrificed their life for a child they didn't want and grew up not to want their parent, either - either way, usually something significant) and usually very costly. "Sacrifice" doesn't usually get applied to day-to-day unless it's deprivation or with a tinge of "bad" to it (sacrifice time for money; sacrifice dignity for the hope of the love of someone who does not care; sacrifice family or friends to get ahead, etc.).

But you're right: "sacrifice" means skin in the game and a willingness to trade the momentary or the undemanding for a longer vision or a challenge.

  • It's laying off the tub of ice cream and spending the 10-30 minutes it would have taken to eat it going for a walk or run or struggling through a situp or 3.
  • It's really listening and fully engaging in a conversation or discussion with a family member or a work colleague, rather than scrolling the phone they can't see, or nodding along while they do the lifting, or thinking about when you can get back to doing something else/ something easier or just to be left alone.
  • It's setting down the phone or closing the browser tab to read a real book, or get organized or get ahead on work due tomorrow, or even just packing your lunch & sweeping the kitchen floor so the morning is less hectic and your environment more pleasant, even though you don't feel like getting off the sofa or pausing the game.
  • Or, as you alluded to, it's spending time on trying to improve a societal or familial or similar concern - time you'd otherwise have all for yourself and which you give in support of the larger intention.

It's really choosing to spend time on something more in the distance, less certain, maybe or maybe not thrilling every second - and choosing to heave oneself out of inertia, to be challenged - even to be scared or even hating every second of it (until you realize it wasn't so bad after all, usually). It's choosing to let go of what feels like precious downtime or "me" time or relaxation that you would ordinarily be spending staying home or almost actively avoiding by being deliberately inert, or drinking/ watching/ scrolling to avoid. It's choosing to give up comfort and safety and jealous guarding of your world and self.

Giving up dead or do-little time or expending the most minimal energy doesn't seem like much of a "sacrifice" - but it really kind of is, especially if you've developed ingrained habits or worry about time/ energy and want to hoard it. Choosing quality over quantity of time is often harder to do than it seems, especially when in the modern world there is absolutely every opportunity to be passive. And though some will say it ceases to be a "sacrifice" if you enjoy it or get more happiness from it, I think it still is, and should be credited that way - because it is always, always easier in the moment to do nothing.

Anyway, I took your word and turned it into an essay.... And I might not even have hit on what you were meaning or thinking, but it spurred some reflection from me that I'm going to contemplate. So thank you!
 
Montana is full of nothing. As you can tell from friend of the farms Theodore John Kaczynski and how long it took to find him. Montana, Wyoming and Alaska are the 3 least densely populated US states.
Looks like a wonderful place. Hopefully it has grassroots people, yet I worry not only shitlibs come (Billings), but also narcotics.
 
Montana, Wyoming and Alaska are the 3 least densely populated US states.
And they're the three states I would most be interested in escaping to when I'm tired of the rat race.

I understand the logistical difficulties in this. That's why I haven't made the leap yet. But there will be a time in the likely near future when I've found myself fed up of whatever bullshit is going on that I'll just be like "fuck it, I'm done with this, and I'm ready to never have to deal with it ever again". Where "this" is pretty much everything about modern living.
 
I'm talking Amish or LDS type of weirdos.
the amish dont proselytize, and live in their own communities for the most part, and arent social with regular people unless its necessary
i only know this because of dipping my toe very very briefly into joining an anabaptist church. they can be more catty and caught up in elitism than any middle school girl, i found out. xenophobic i guess you could say :lol:
 
I feel suicide is selfish as well, that is why I hope to die from something out of my control, you probably feel the same way.
I had a moment recently where I felt the call of the void and completely out of my control, stepped into traffic that logically I knew would hit me if the driver wasn't paying attention.
Even more fucked up, without my knowing, it was a Learning driver.

I'm not out of my mind suicidal and haven't been for a long time, but occasionally my thoughts drift back into the ol' ideation. I cannot deny that the thought of my pain and aimlessness ceasing to be a thing is a comforting thought.
 
Looks like a wonderful place. Hopefully it has grassroots people, yet I worry not only shitlibs come (Billings), but also narcotics.
That's one of the risks as Oregon saw and Idaho is seeing now. Having a low population means that it only takes a few retards to entirely fuck up your government.
I understand the logistical difficulties in this.
That's the reason I live, well, near civilization. I was lucky enough to find a place with wired Internet, electricity and a water system, my own septic tank though. Even one place in town does pizza delivery out this way. Getting people to work on stuff is still a giant pain so most of the simple stuff like electrical I do myself. Growing up semi-rural I learned the same, you have to be able to deal with the day to day emergencies like a broken water line yourself as there might be a plumber, if you can convince him to come out and can afford it. Obviously the other issue is as you get farther north into the hinterlands is the winter weather can become even more problematic. I have a heat pump that works well enough 99% of the time, with some other electric heat and wood as a backup. Get into the middle of nowhere and it will be just wood, or having propane trucked in as your solar system won't be enough electricity for heating.
 
That's one of the risks as Oregon saw and Idaho is seeing now. Having a low population means that it only takes a few retards to entirely fuck up your government.

That's the reason I live, well, near civilization. I was lucky enough to find a place with wired Internet, electricity and a water system, my own septic tank though. Even one place in town does pizza delivery out this way. Getting people to work on stuff is still a giant pain so most of the simple stuff like electrical I do myself. Growing up semi-rural I learned the same, you have to be able to deal with the day to day emergencies like a broken water line yourself as there might be a plumber, if you can convince him to come out and can afford it. Obviously the other issue is as you get farther north into the hinterlands is the winter weather can become even more problematic. I have a heat pump that works well enough 99% of the time, with some other electric heat and wood as a backup. Get into the middle of nowhere and it will be just wood, or having propane trucked in as your solar system won't be enough electricity for heating.
I live in a cabin in the woods and it does have lots of logistical problems and it can be a nightmare. Together, my husband and I can usually figure it out how to do small maintenance jobs and having the Internet is a huge help to figure out how to fix anything.

Any sort of plumber or electrician adds the time it takes to get there onto the maintenance cost so that it balls.

A really good Generator is a must for power outages. Fireplace is also great not an insert but a freestanding one, they are super toasty. 🪓 chop your own wood.

A small chainsaw with an electric start, is handy to have for the smaller downed trees.

Have something to collect rain, it'll be great to water your garden

Have a good pantry with canned food in case you get stuck.

WHen you go to town, have a very detailed shopping list and if there's a good deal, buy extra.

Get a chest freezer and have it stocked just in case

Be prepared for nothing being delivered directly to you..no food delivery no nothing.

Long and longer of it, problem solving and flexibility is key to rural living. Be prepared to have to spend days without power. It's not easy but it's fucking worth it because people suck and I get to listen to wolves. :crocodile:
 
the winter weather can become even more problematic.
Funnily enough, I once stayed in someone's mountain cabin in Montana in late September. We ran out of water. As it turns out, the owners were waiting for the snow to replenish the water supplies but that's part of the reason why the owners weren't staying there at that time of year.
 
Might just fucking cave and get an Rx for addy's.

Thing is, I don't think the FAA would like it if I was on that shit, so I'll have to keep it's use to when I'm not working.

I'm going to checkout flight schools this week, I think being a pilot is the perfect job for my autistic ass lmao

Routine, relative silence, get to push buttons and obsess about numbers and other shit lol. I'm somewhat familiar with aviation since I have a family history of working for MIC and aerospace lol. Also pilot friends and flight s(t)imming since I was a little chud.

Idk, feeling better today, just benched 290, whenever I hit 315 I'm fucking buying myself a new bench, fuck this shit lmao

(Too. Much. Coffee. Fuck!)
 
Have Null officiate it.
How I imagine having Null officiate your wedding will go:
Thing is, I don't think the FAA would like it if I was on that shit, so I'll have to keep it's use to when I'm not working.
You don't even want the prescription on your records. Sure, you can lie to the Aviation Medical Examiner, but if you ever have an incident/accident that stuff will come out.
FAA think: Adderall->ADHD->Thousands of dollars of psych evals to make sure you don't really have ADHD.
 
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