How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[PetiteFeet]

but whatever it is, i dont like this feeling at all.

Anhedonia, methinks. In my experience it's a hassle and a half to wrangle because being sucked of your passion makes it so hard to do something, anything.
It'd be understandable if your kiddo's illness is taking its toll, it would be abnormal if it didn't.
Can you guys, as a family, go on a vacation of some kind? Get away from the hustle and bustle of every day life, forget the illness for a little bit? January isn't the ideal month to travel, I know, but there are options.

Alternatively, I'd suggest meditation or mindfulness. Literally touching grass and noticing your surroundings. It's a bit difficult at first, so try setting a timer to 4-5 minutes and allow yourself to just be.

I hope your kid is doing well, all things considered, and I pray the doctors can find a way to cure or alleviate it.

 

[stick]

I want to go down to part time. I can not afford going down to part time. I am so fucking tired, always. I want a cigarette.

 

[gnostic dogma]

I NEED A JOB!

 

[Banquet Meal]

I hope your kid is doing well, all things considered, and I pray the doctors can find a way to cure or alleviate it.

unfortunately hes getting worse...it sucks. its just a horrible process of watching it happen at this point. and im just like...??? how can i give a shit anymore with this happening right in front of me. i definitely try, but dammit. its all so pointless at times.

 

[Cthulus Nutsack]

Moved in with my mom to help her out a bit and we are the closest we've ever been. Its been great. Then one of my sisters has moved and everythinging went to hell. I dont like feeling hate for anybody or thing but I've quickly grown to hate my sister. I hate the way I feel everyday now. I can leave but then my mom is fucked bc its impossible to pay all the bills alone but I know the bitch on the floor wallowing in self pity damn sure ain't going to help our mom. So now I'm just anxious and pissed all day everyday

 

[long waters]

Whole-heartedly agree. At the risk of sounding too reddit/Twitter, why is it still January? Every year January seemingly goes on forever.

It's the opposite for me, this month has gone by so fast...

My new upstairs neighbour is a young man, and I suspect he's a smoker because I frequently smell cigarette smoke in my home. It gives me a headache.
I'm of half a mind to ask my landlords, my parents, if they can do something about it because I can't deal with smoke induced headaches at least once a day for who knows how long this kid'll live here. And he moved in barely a month ago.

Sounds terrible, I hate smokers so much. Sorry to any smokers itt, but I hate your smell

The place I'm at has become an insane asylum and every time I leave my house I have to deal with: sexual harassment, people on drugs, crazies, crazies with mental illness on drugs, drug dealers, Jeets, and goat-fucking cousin rapers bugging me.

What kind of living hell do you live in!?

unfortunately hes getting worse...it sucks. its just a horrible process of watching it happen at this point. and im just like...??? how can i give a shit anymore with this happening right in front of me. i definitely try, but dammit. its all so pointless at times.

I'm sorry to hear, must be painful for everyone involved.

Thread tax I suppose: not much new on my front. Walked almost 15 miles today and my feet hurt. I think I'm feeling happier and/or more energetic lately, but I'm not sure if it's because I've been drinking more coffee or something else.

 

[BlueMoonstone]

Went out with a group at the weekend. Got very drunk. Had a great time

Now i chill while recovering (not recovering from drink but rather being ups most of the day kills me)

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Drank beer yesteday and a day before yesterday.
I'm struggling to find a better place to move to because I don't like the room I'm renting.
Looking forward for a two week summer vacation. I haven't been home for more than a year and I want to visit it at Summer.
I ruminated a little about people I like and would want to be a friend to. I'm bad at making strong or long term bonds and I doubt those people would want to be friends to me.
I'm a loner and I'm not happy about it.

 

[Istmyl Ilsender]

I ruminated a little about people I like and would want to be a friend to. I'm bad at making strong or long term bonds and I doubt those people would want to be friends to me.
I'm a loner and I'm not happy about it. I hate it as if I don't exist.

If you're not good around people, have you tried getting a pet, like a cat? I've always wanted a cat.

 

[Endless Blabbery]

I work out, occasionally, but I'm no elite athlete or anything. I do it about four times a week, God willing, but I guess He's been ignoring me these days.
I've always wanted to give cardio a try but I have zero dollarinos, nor any fancy equipment. I don't like going to the gym so the next best thing is to just jump around my room like an idiot. So that's what I did.
My, oh-my, I got the worst DOMS in a while: I couldn't walk the next day. I was bouncing all over the place like an idiot because I couldn't even stand up straight, as the stretch of my left calf was unbearable. I genuinely couldn't walk for like two days. Thankfully that's passed.
Disregarding non-ionizing electromagnetic wavelengths and its consequences for the human race, I'm using my smart watch again, which measures my heart rate. I'm gathering data to give cardio a try: I am doing mountain climbers, although with parallettes, as well as "explosive air squats" (squats with no added weights; I get back up "explosively" as opposed to, I don't know, doing it slowly).

Unsurprisingly, I got DOMS both in my upper back as well as my fucking hamstrings. Jesus, I'll never catch a break, will I.

 

[JustStopDude]

So me and the boomer have spent about three days fixing fans on vfd's at this aerospace site. Well...I have. He is pretty fucking useless.

The supplier of the equipment for some reason gave me three separate sets of drawings, all of which managed to be wrong. And the fun part is I have to carry roughly 80lbs of fans up a ladder, so I can mount these damn things.

At one point, I realized that the brackets for one of the drives were wrong. Just one. Why? No fucking idea. Basically the fans have six mounting bolts, but this one drive had brackets that take eight.

I send pictures. Their customer support guy fires back "the factory needs more information".

"Like what? How to count?"

So I get these fucking things wired in. I hack up a mounting plate. The fat boomer is useless. I seriously should have one of our young guys with me so they could learn shit.

I go to test the fans. I turn on one of the VFD's control power and I hear the main feeder breaker close, and I nearly jump out of my boots, and immediately secure the 120V.

The boomer is laughing.

"I really got ya, didn't I kid?"

I look over to the front of the control panel and I realize that as a joke, he placed the main power switch to "auto" for auto close instead of where I had set them all to, which was "open"

"Yeah. Great joke. I got to report this"

"What? Can't take a joke?"

"Boomer! We had an unintended closing of a 13.2kV breaker! We are going to get kicked off this site for this!"

"Your over reacting ..."

Before he could even finish, flight control is on the radio, demanding to know why they saw high power energized on that particular VFD.

Needless to say, they demand all work stops.

When the high power team showed up, I tell him "keep your fucking mouth shut"

I smooth things over. It was close. I finish the testing. As I'm driving us back to the hotel, he is rambling and joking around.

It took all my energy to resist the urge not to stop the car, savagely beat this idiot to death, and leave him in a Boca Chican swamp.

 

[Motherf*cker]

What kind of living hell do you live in!?

Gotham north. The prisoners have been let out of Arkham Asylum and the Batman MAiD

 

[Betonhaus]

Two days to go and I finally got a place, and will sign tomorrow for it and move in this weekend. I still have a lot of things to deal with and not a lot of time to do so and i still haven't processed that I'll be living alone again for the fist time in four or five years and not be in a relationship after three years. The place ended up looking a little better then expected, I didn't see any of the tells that there may be red flags (or at least things I hadn't prepared for). It's bigger then I thought, i was looking at a bachelor's suite but I didn't get it but the guy offered me this place that just got on the market. I was looking for signs of a scam but if there is one it's just that he guessed I'd jump for it if they gave the suite to someone else. Had to borrow some money from my parents to cover the deposit and paying rent for this place and the last month's rent for the old place which i expect to pay back quickly, but it'll be a bit of time before I get proper furniture, but between my camping gear and what I had in storage I have enough to be comfortable there.

I feel like I need to get one of those wall crosses with Jesus on it as I'll be coming from such an impure environment.

 

[Zemblan Physics]

I see this midget every day at 7.20 AM on my walk to work. I kinda dig him, he's rocking this metal look (not "I'm gonna go dig some ore in the mines" metal dwarf look, more of an "I wish I was Axl Rose" metal midget look) and has a really cool stride. It's just a nice way to start out the day, seeing a midget.

Anyway, these past two weeks, I haven't seen him. Now I worry that he's dead or something. It bothers me.

 

[Endless Blabbery]

Couldn't sleep. Insomnia shenanigans. Eating a raw carrot with milk. Fuck my stupid chungus rabbit ass life.

 

[Ryo Ma]

I have this guy I used to call a friend that would call anytime he had issues. Family, school, anytime he wanted to bitch he would call me.

The one time during this I bring up my own personal difficulties, the calls stop. As soon as he has to hear a single thing about me, no more calls to complain.

I've given the guy chance after chance but I'm over it. I am not your emotional dumpster you little loser faggot.

 

[Otterly]

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with money or lack thereof. I don't spend any. I've got my students debts paid off. I make decent money compared to my parents. I don't want kids specifically nor do I have issues renting because I know a broken pipe in a home will wreck 3 paychecks anyway. I should be okay just, being.

If you grow up without money, it takes a long time to adjust to having any. I bought myself something nice in the sales today and felt guilty, and really it’s nothing. But I don’t think I’ll ever not worry about money

i feel like i have lost any real passion or motivation for anything these days. maybe its from all the stress of my kid being so sick,

good grief, woman of course you do! You’re in a very difficult situation, that frankly would break a lot of people. Caring for a sick child who isn’t going to get better is hard. It’s hard on every level there is, mental, physical and emotional. I’m a mum, it’d kill me. Carers are expected to just do it day after day with no break for years and it takes a toll.
Is there any way you get any kind of respite care? I’m just taking care of the usual day to day job-and-kids-and-no-fucker-else-cleans stuff and that’s hard enough, with a profoundly sick child you MUST take care of yourself as well. You simply must.
Can anyone give you a day off?

 

[Banquet Meal]

Is there any way you get any kind of respite care?

god no...i wouldnt trust ANYONE with him, he cant talk or tell me anything, and having worked as a "sitter" at our local hospital for years back home, i know how a lot of these people operate...his care isnt very difficult..my husband and i both trade off, and sadly, now that hes not getting up much, its a matter of turning, keeping his feeding pump going, etc. medications. giving emergency medications...and my daughter still lives at home, and she volunteers to watch him if we want to go anywhere....i dont know, though. i just feel like i dont care anymore.

its funny though...right before he got sick, everything was going really well..i had a good social life, we went to the clubs, went to shows, and i felt like we had finally reached a good place...then it all flipped. its just crazy how things can seem good, and everything is going along fine, and then you have this happen...we had been at a front 242 show the week before he got sick, and on the 100 mile trip back home, we were talking about how our marriage was going good, and we had more money, and life was less stressful, we had just moved into this new house....and at this point, years later, we are civil, and we dont hate each other, but we dont talk much.

i have my own room, and i dont leave it much. im too sad and tired.

sorry for the absolutely ridiculous self pity here, and im not always like this, thankfully. its just been one of those weeks. i just dont know what the hell to do anymore. i know people have it worse, and i shouldnt be so stupid, but its hard.

 

[Otterly]

sorry for the absolutely ridiculous self pity here,

You’re allowed. It’s an awful, sad situation.
Could you at least try to get out? Go sit in a cafe and read a book for a couple of hours, just for a change of scenery? I know it helps none of the issue you face but just to keep yourself afloat? Do friends keep checking in with you?
Completely understand about not wanting strangers to step in, I wouldn’t either. But perhaps husband and daughter can give you 24 hours and you just get out of the house? Anywhere - local hotel with a pool where you can read a book and do nothing with no expectation on you?

 

[nycifer]

I am infuriated right now. Came back to work after 3 days off, only to come into a circus show that was my store. I get paired with a foreign nigger who is as slow as a fucking slug, so slow, that even when down to the last pallet, I was still seeing him work on it before I left. I am up to my neck with how my work believes that I should be one of those people, who've got to babysit foreign niggers and spics. I can't fucking fix everybody and I can't train anybody if they can't so much speak or understand my language fluently.

So thanks, coach, thanks for taking the piss out of me by making me put up with this bullshit. It wasn't enough that we had 15 god damn pallets of freight in a department I absolutely hated.

Everyone got more and more retarded towards the end of the day. Someone who works modular goes to show a team lead something she found in a box, like some shelf fixtures. She fumbles it and *CLANG!* one of them drops out. Good going, you dumb old hag! Show and tell is over, go the fuck away and while you're at it, choke on one of them, it'll be far more entertaining than you going "look what I found!".

We had more baler drama. I was actually about to help said nigger do their cardboard since, you know, dumb foreign nigger only does the straightforward task and doesn't have enough braincell capacity to do anything else and be aware of things. Three grocery associates come up, dump their cardboard and makes a fucking mess and fills the gm baler. Are you fucking kidding me? Why? Because not one of those lazy fuckers, had the balls to make a bale on THEIR side of the store! It's not that hard! Sure enough, enough grocery associates came and now have filled the GM baler. But who's doing the fucking bale over in grocery? Nobody? Everyone just goes and bee-lines to the nearest baler to dump their shit in? With both of them full, what's next? Outdoors?

So I just left everything and left. It took until near end of shift for anyone to do it. I know they're expecting me to do it, well I'm not, I make about a dozen bales in a given week. It's someone else's turn, fuck you.

I do not want to help anymore niggers.