How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

What an odd day. Feels like I took a step up in working in a manner that appeases my overlords, yet I also got once more belittled over the smallest thing. I don't get this fucking job, but at least I don't have the feeling that I'm at risk of getting fired anymore. I just hate knowing I'm probably among the worse employees (in her eyes) she's had, however delusional that mummy is.

Ok, look; you don’t want the kind of girl who is impressed by or demands a fancy car, surely? . I know such girls exist, but you surely don’t want a woman whose criteria list has brands on it?

"Women seek in men what they failed to achieve themselves" said Cher. Now look at the '9/10 babe's bio. Humor, intelligence, a big car, money, goals in life. Without joking, that's probably as true as it gets. These mfers dont think past their next wine.

Its a vicious cycle though starting life late. There are a lot of mistakes that you can afford to make when you're young that you can't afford to make as an adult.

I'd argue you're better set for a lot of shortcomings later on in life. If I bumped into someone my age on a cold tuesday evening, I'd understand them whining about work, their job, their back, their finances. I'd look through them not being a total babe because the relatability of misery is more attractive than any set of perky tits. "I've never had sex before" oh okay well we'll figure it out". Not like the youth are any good at sex these days from what I've read, it's all unironically beating, choking and spitting that neither part enjoy.

Honestly I'd love to have the experiences of mine but the female version 1:1. Whenever a woman bitches that she gets sent dick pics, is that the male equivalent of being a buff dude flexing in all your pictures, swiping on baddies and wondering why you only match with bimbos when you want a bookworm? Given the maturity of most women I'd think as much.

 

[long waters]

Ok, look; you don’t want the kind of girl who is impressed by or demands a fancy car, surely? . I know such girls exist, but you surely don’t want a woman whose criteria list has brands on it?

You're definitely right there. I suppose I should've worded it better to make it clear I don't want to imply that.

 

[Most Wanted Banana]

My younger sister bought an electric guitar, and my parents' first reaction was to tell her how stupid she was for buying something so "immature".

I can't put into words how much I hate those fucking assholes.

 

[Otterly]

You're definitely right there. I suppose I should've worded it better to make it clear I don't want to imply that.

I know, I didn’t mean that you did. But you’re still comparing yourself to that, when it’s just an irrelevant modern day status marker.

My younger sister bought an electric guitar, and my parents' first reaction was to tell her how stupid she was for buying something so "immature".

I can't put into words how much I hate those fucking assholes.

Ridiculous. Tell her to enjoy it. Turn it up to 11.

 

[Haunted Tamagotchi]

The older kids have gone back to school, Mr Tamagotchi has gone back to work from paternity leave, and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet with Tiny Tama for a while. I’m soaking up as much of the newborn time as I can because she’s my last baby and I don’t want to miss a moment. My MIL has been a wonderful help and I’m so grateful for her.

 

[stick]

Bit of a bad week. I was back to being in denial about my diagnosis when I got a very painful reminder that it is probably accurate. In the middle of my shift, too. Thankfully the only people around were two very nice coworkers of mine who didn't draw attention to it and let me take an extra break, but still. Embarrassing.

That was a few days ago and I'm still pretty shaken up from it. I'm a paranoid ball of anxiety and shame, on top of being completely exhausted. It's my day off and I have errands I need to run, but I just want to hide away in my house. Picked up my nicotine habit after having been good for... I don't know, I'll guess six months or so. Don't feel good about that, either.

I don't want to sound dramatic but at times I fear that I will be in this cycle forever. I was going to elaborate but my brain is mush. Hope everyone has a good day today.

 

[obsdj]

I wish there were a single person I could talk to in real life without having to worry they'll call the cops on me "for my own good" right now.

 

[JustStopDude]

On one hand, I yearn for women, but on the other as the saying goes "I've seen what pussy does to a mofo and it's much worse" - just take a look at idubbbz.

idubbbz was fucked up long before Anisa ever showed up.

Idubbbz could divorce her tomorrow and I am certain he would end up with another fucked up, toxic relationship within a week.

The dude's normal is a mess. I really don't know anything about him other than the most surface level shit but I would get my house the following:

1) his father was out of his life early on
2) domineering mother
3) loner until late in life
4) virgin until late in life

I can't be bothered to read his thread to see how correct I am but I really wouldn't worry about pussy turning you into a train wreck to his extent.

 

[Caddo Cobgang]

A sense of optimism wrapped in mild existential dread, ive kind of accepted that I can't get society to being normal again, my only real plans at the moment are to bunker down and ride the bullshit thats just getting started out

 

[Banquet Meal]

my parents' first reaction was to tell her how stupid she was for buying something so "immature".

that is horrible. parents can do so much damage by ridiculing their childrens interests. i hope your sister is able to let it roll off her back and enjoy her new guitar. im with you though, what a bunch of assholes!

I wish there were a single person I could talk to in real life without having to worry they'll call the cops on me "for my own good" right now.

that is what this thread is for! (i get it though. i stupidly expressed frustration at some of the current issues with which im dealing, on fuckbook, and someone reported me for suicidal ideation. ridiculous. )

A sense of optimism wrapped in mild existential dread, ive kind of accepted that I can't get society to being normal again,

i miss things being normal too. i remember how everything used to be, and i definitely am not a fan of how things are now.

also, look at me using the quote feature, im proud of myself

 

[Wraithdolf the White]

Still dealing with medical issue but in the last three days got to try my Christmas winter stuff I bought for myself and found them rather apt and handling 0-5 degree F temperatures. Did this before, but this was kind of a rougher test and it came out well. Managed to get a couple of several mile trips in on foot and bring home junk for shopping... don't... don't look over at the cookie supply over there. ... The mountain.
Walking in fresh snow is

Also I felt compelled to do a little research on old vidya because of a hunch, and it led me online. ... In the end I actually am downloading 9181 video game tunes- I CAN STOP ANY TIME, MA! I'M IN CONTROL!
And the number isn't an exaggeration.

 

[Endless Blabbery]

couldnt handle that, and idk how anyone else does, for that matter. i like having my house to myself, and having a grown man not working, not providing for the family, sitting at home ALL day would piss me off almost immediately

You just described my father. Yikes!

Spoiler: Endless father-related Blabbery

I recall my mother's description of my father, which was ew-inducing so I won't get into detail. They were both physically active and had a life so they understandably weren't obese. Now, it's quite the opposite.
We were all hit by the economic crisis so we had to reduce our expenses as much as possible. I stopped doing sports, we wouldn't drive many places anymore, we wouldn't go on vacation via plane (despite being rather cheap these days, mind you), and Christmas presents were either lame or non-existent. But hey, we had a roof over our heads and I had never had to go hungry so that's something.
My father refused to "get educated," AKA going to university or doing some online course to get some knowledge on a given field. He thought he could macho through life by working twelve hours a day, but one can't just do that forever.
My mother tried her best to get a higher degree, which positively affected her career; she works at the expense of both herself and her husband, as my father is incapable of finding a job these days.
My father is obese, rarely goes outside, spends all day in front of his computer and is mad at everything all day, every day. He buys and re-sells stuff from online, but I wouldn't call that a job; that's barely a few hundred euro, if anything.

I used to feel somewhat bad for him but he spent my entire life acting like an invincible person that could withstand anything and now that it is no longer the case he acts like a sore loser instead of just owning it. To this day he refuses to admit he's a failure of a bread-winner.

Not like the youth are any good at sex these days from what I've read, it's all unironically beating, choking and spitting that neither part enjoy.

Yes. Half of the times I've had sex I noticed that porn-fueled disconnect which was odd, to say the least. Is gen Z cooked? Probably.
As for the partner bit, I unfortunately have never had to endure that. I've never been interested in getting into a relationship, and although I sometimes ask myself if I'd like to be in one, the truth is that I just can't see it. It doesn't make sense. I don't trust people, I don't have any money, and I've become too comfortable with myself to risk it. Still, removing myself from the dating pool is much, much healthier than seething at the opposite sex ad infinitum.

My younger sister bought an electric guitar, and my parents' first reaction was to tell her how stupid she was for buying something so "immature".

Dude I want a guitar. I was really into music as a kid but we unfortunately couldn't afford it any longer. Many years later, I often get an itch that I understandably can't scratch.
Whatever positive memories she develops with said electric guitar, make sure she keeps them: music is, by far, one of the most relevant things in human life.

 

[Banquet Meal]

I used to feel somewhat bad for him but he spent my entire life acting like an invincible person that could withstand anything and now that it is no longer the case he acts like a sore loser instead of just owning it. To this day he refuses to admit he's a failure of a bread-winner.

do you think he could be depressed?
i myself have been dealing with horrible depression over the last few years, and have spent way WAY too much time on the computer, getting fatter and being a lazy piece of shit myself. its hard when you deal with constant financial worries and everything else stops going right, it makes you want to give up, for sure.

 

[Endless Blabbery]

do you think he could be depressed?

Yeah. I mean, the symptoms check out; they were fairly similar to mine, after all.
The issue relies on the fact that when I displayed some very clear symptoms of anxiety and depression, my father refused to admit anything was wrong at all, by saying dumb shit like depression is a willpower issue, that having a roof over my head and not going hungry should override any and all negative blabbery. In a way, despite getting obviously frustrated, I theorized that maybe he just didn't get it; maybe he's never been depressed so who knows, maybe when he's forced to deal with it he'll understand?
Now he's going through something similar as I did, symptoms-wise, and refuses to admit it; maybe he's always been depressed? That would imply that despite noticing the telltale signs of depression and anxiety, he tried to gaslight me into not caring about them. So it's either a macho, couldn't-know-any-better thing or a manipulative parent thing; neither are good.

 

[Banquet Meal]

dumb shit like depression is a willpower issue

oh god, i HATE it when people say that shit....depression is horrible, and one of the things that makes it so horrible is that you literally cant just "cheer up"..it just is.
does he like to go out and do anything?? im assuming hes middle aged like me. a few things that help my depression are video games, and going out to the club on occasion. i listen to a lot of industrial/futurepop/electronic music and its nice to be around people who share similar interests, since most people have shit tastes in music overall. maybe he and your mom should go out and have fun??
on that note, im going to see VNV nation in april AGAIN and im so excited, i love vnv nation so much, literally one of my favorite groups, and since i had to miss the underworld concert due to migraines, im really excited about this

 

[Endless Blabbery]

does he like to go out and do anything?? im assuming hes middle aged like me. a few things that help my depression are video games, and going out to the club on occasion. i listen to a lot of industrial/futurepop/electronic music and its nice to be around people who share similar interests, since most people have shit tastes in music overall. maybe he and your mom should go out and have fun??

I recall my mother complaining about his unwillingness to do anything, including going on a date. I guess that's why I don't "understand" romantic love: by the time I was capable of conscious thought, I didn't really see it as I grew up.
He does go out. Sometimes. He meets with some people he calls friends, but he'll sometimes go on about how they are akshually not his friends and more like long-known acquaintances. He does like music, I'll tell you that much, but he doesn't make much money so he can't reasonably spend much on going to a concert either without spending my mother's money.
As for the going out bit—no... They just don't. He either refuses or bitches and moans as he goes out. It's hard for me to understand how he's still married. "Till death do us part," I guess.

 

[Banquet Meal]

I recall my mother complaining about his unwillingness to do anything, including going on a date. I guess that's why I don't "understand" romantic love: by the time I was capable of conscious thought, I didn't really see it as I grew up.
He does go out. Sometimes. He meets with some people he calls friends, but he'll sometimes go on about how they are akshually not his friends and more like long-known acquaintances. He does like music, I'll tell you that much, but he doesn't make much money so he can't reasonably spend much on going to a concert either without spending my mother's money.
As for the going out bit—no... They just don't. He either refuses or bitches and moans as he goes out. It's hard for me to understand how he's still married. "Till death do us part," I guess.

idk. my husband and i are pretty boring, but everything is so different now...the goth/club scene is so different now..like now days, if you arent sucking the girl cock, you will be ostracized, like completely iced out, and it sucks. i knew a guy who jokingly called his friend gay, and he was kicked out that same night..he had been the dj for this club for like 15 years!
sounds like your dad may be super depressed and also embarrassed that hes having to live off your mom, which is understandable. at this point, i would just try and get along the best you can. getting older is hard, and dealing with bills and other bullshit can drag anyone down.
maybe he and your mom can just like go for drives and listen to music or something. one of my favorite things to do is driving late at night, while listening to music, because you can talk about anything and everything, and just relax.

 

[Endless Blabbery]

idk. my husband and i are pretty boring, but everything is so different now...the goth/club scene is so different now..like now days, if you arent sucking the girl cock, you will be ostracized, like completely iced out, and it sucks. i knew a guy who jokingly called his friend gay, and he was kicked out that same night..he had been the dj for this club for like 15 years!
sounds like your dad may be super depressed and also embarrassed that hes having to live off your mom, which is understandable. at this point, i would just try and get along the best you can. getting older is hard, and dealing with bills and other bullshit can drag anyone down.
maybe he and your mom can just like go for drives and listen to music or something. one of my favorite things to do is driving late at night, while listening to music, because you can talk about anything and everything, and just relax.

I appreciate your empathy but I must inform you that I'm less empathetic about this entire situation as compared to you.
My father and I just avoid each other. It's easier that way. He doesn't get to embarrass himself in front of me and I don't get to endure him. It's sort of a win-win; he's probably disagree, but still.

 

[Motherf*cker]

My age has made me "interesting looking" I dunno what the fuck that means but I may be defective.
Blood drawn.
Plans made.
Want to fucking scream

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

Was at an art gig tonight, can't go into detail because it got filmed and pictures plus video where i am visible will be put on Insta by the organizers. Was really fun, met people there i haven't seen in many, many years but man, i don't know how my artist friend does it, socializing with so many different groups all through the evening. I brought mutual friends and also family along so i always could go back to talk to one or two individuals at a time when it got too much for me standing and talking in the crowds but i am still thoroughly spent. I'd like to just stay home for the next four weeks and see no one and talk to no one except my girlfriend. My back is also killing me after this endeavour, despite having popped twice my dosis of painkillers today.

This is more anecdotal but women seem to also favor men who are already in a relationship too.

It is funny to read this tonight. I had a moment tonight with the girlfriend of one of my best friends who i've known for about 8 years by now, someone who i am going along with great ever since i know her and someone i talk to semi-regularly. It was the first time where i was talking to her and something made think "Hmm. This feels kinda odd" after i talked to her. She wasn't hitting on me (like, not even in the slightest, neither was i or would i), we have talked about very private stuff before, we weren't even close to anything like that tonight but i got a certain vibe i never got before when talking to her. Just somehow odd in a way it never has felt before. Told my girlfriend about it and she actually got mad at me (she's very possesive of me, she also never met that woman and saw me interact with her). I will never bring this up to my friend or his girlfriend, because why the fuck would i, i have no romantic interest in that girl whatsoever and consider both of them some of my closest friends but nonetheless, it felt off. Not concerningly so, but still enough to get my noggin joggin'.