- Joined
- Aug 7, 2024
Bloody hell kiwi-bros, idk what to even say. You'd better not kill yourselves!
What is it with so many people on KF wanting to die lately?!
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
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What is it with so many people on KF wanting to die lately?!
TotalNematodeDeath
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2023
Autism makes it hard to change mindsets and grow as a person. Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors in People on the Autism Spectrum
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2017
I feel like the Universe is trying to crush me. Everything I had planned for this week is going sideways and I am so tired that I can only work, rest and somehow keep my place in order. No games, no side projects, just the rage and three kinds of "yes". 2026 barely started and I already hate it.
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2023
People taking an obscene amount of blackpills because that's the popular thing to do.
The best laid plans of mice and men. It'll be ok though, you still got next week.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2019
Everyone else gets asked about how they slept but I
dunno no one ever asks me. I hear about painful nights and no sleep and crying about how tired everyone else is. Well my sleep is fucked, maybe I get five hours and if it's not indigestion disrupting my sleep, it's something else and Trazadone or Imovane doesn't touch it. Did you sleep Motherfucker, no I didn't but it gives me more time in the day at least.....
Five AM and I was repeatedly stabbing my fingers for a blood test. Why is it that when I need to fill up a small vial it is the toughest thing ever?
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- Joined
- Jan 20, 2022
you might ask your dr about verapamil...i take it for my own sleep issues..its a blood pressure medication, but it can help with sleep issues. one issue i have is the RETARDEDLY named "exploding head syndrome", which has plagued me for several years now, but the verapamil definitely helps.
also, not to be nosy...are you saying that your husband is actually a girl, or that he pretended to be a girl in the past???
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2014
Pretty much the whole state of the 2020s for me. Covid, only living in apartments and a job I could lose at any min. I had a mom that died and now two other people getting ready to joining her soon. One of them was one was the reasons why moved out of state and now I regret.
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- Joined
- Jan 21, 2022
I'd argue it's the season, at least for the northern hemisphere. Shorter days, longer nights etc. It doesn't help that geopolitical topics have been bullshit for a while, whether it's Israel/Palestine, Ukraine/Russia, Iran or something else, there's a geopolitical shitshow for everyone regardless of your political leanings or your place of living on the planet.
We've also just finished the biggest, busiest christian holiday, until it's Easter anyway. Holidays remind us how lonely we are.
Personally, I don't actually want to die but because of muh mentals, I have periods where I spiral harder than "usual". I can't attribute the spiraling to anything in specific, it's just an inevitability of my daily life that I'll become a suicidal werewolf over a couple of days, every so often.
All of this, plus the fact that we are all spending too much time on the internet. Smartphones, office jobs, not enough touching grass or doing things that our brains and bodies are wired to. Technology has improved rapidly while we as a species haven't. We get mentally and physically ill due to our lifestyles.
Simply put, big ape no good with city living.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2025
Could you elaborate on the symptoms and when it happens (e.g., nighttime, daytime, etc.)?
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2020
I prefer to believe he is speedrunning his bucket list.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2022
this sounds so unhinged, and i honestly thought i was losing my mind for the longest time..basically, whenever im falling asleep, like when someone is just about to pass out, but not quite there yet? i will hear some random loud noise...like a door slamming, or a weird noise, or even someone yelling...but of course its not real. i thought i was hallucinating, but apparently drs think that it might be some sort of weird seizure like thing in the brain? they dont really know, i guess..i hate it. its so damn weird.Could you elaborate on the symptoms and when it happens (e.g., nighttime, daytime, etc.)?
i will be nearly asleep and hear a loud gunshot type noise, and of course i jump up because it scares me..and this will happen over and over again until i actually start sleeping for real. the verapamil has worked wonders for it though, it used to be really really bad. i was just happy to find out that i wasnt dealing with some early onset dementia or god knows what.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
Idk if I'm overreacting or not.
Mom needs 1000 dollars from me to help her cousin otherwise he's going to lose his farm + something about her moving onto his farm in a tiny House + something about the farm becoming a place for addicts to go and get clean + something about mom getting chickens and sheep + ect. (I dont believe any of this will come to fruition. They're all addicts. Nothing against people struggling with addiction, I just know how my mom is.)
She put getting the money he needed on herself last night because she has a friend who could do it. Come today he now only haw half the money. So now it's on me, and she's crying about it because it shouldn't be.
Now. Technically the money is mine, I earned it at work. But I also don't actively contribute to bills or shit at the moment, I'm very lucky I'm aware, I'm trying to save up for things like a car and getting the fuck out of dodge. And 1000 is about what paying bills would be like, and I make about 1000 a month at work. So Really it won't hurt too bad.
But I know I'll never get payed back, either. She's never payed me back, even in the cash she's borrowed over the years from shit I've done like dog sitting. And I don't know this guy (I've been to his farm once. He has nice cows. I'll give him that much.).
But do I need to be payed back if I'm not actively contributing in any way? Especially if I'll regain it within a month or too. I feel like I'm being selfish but I also feel like it's the principle of the thing.
Mom needs 1000 dollars from me to help her cousin otherwise he's going to lose his farm + something about her moving onto his farm in a tiny House + something about the farm becoming a place for addicts to go and get clean + something about mom getting chickens and sheep + ect. (I dont believe any of this will come to fruition. They're all addicts. Nothing against people struggling with addiction, I just know how my mom is.)
She put getting the money he needed on herself last night because she has a friend who could do it. Come today he now only haw half the money. So now it's on me, and she's crying about it because it shouldn't be.
Now. Technically the money is mine, I earned it at work. But I also don't actively contribute to bills or shit at the moment, I'm very lucky I'm aware, I'm trying to save up for things like a car and getting the fuck out of dodge. And 1000 is about what paying bills would be like, and I make about 1000 a month at work. So Really it won't hurt too bad.
But I know I'll never get payed back, either. She's never payed me back, even in the cash she's borrowed over the years from shit I've done like dog sitting. And I don't know this guy (I've been to his farm once. He has nice cows. I'll give him that much.).
But do I need to be payed back if I'm not actively contributing in any way? Especially if I'll regain it within a month or too. I feel like I'm being selfish but I also feel like it's the principle of the thing.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2025
It has happened to me too, although I would be asleep at the time and I would spontaneously wake up. It was like someone would slam on a door, which could easily be my parents rather than schizophrenia. I have also dealt with dreams like that, but they were mostly stress-induced: teeth falling and breaking apart, cockroaches, being shot, running away from God-knows-what.
I do know of magnesium and glycine; and of the dangers of blue light. Still, I don't make or consume broth, I tend to stay up doing whatever in front of the computer, and then my phone as I can't keep myself awake any longer. But hey, at least I consume a whooping 100 mg of magnesium every day (which is a third-quarter of what I would actually need)...
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2022
your dreams sound a lot like mine! idk if it means anything, but my dr did some blood tests, and i guess i have a severe magnesium deficiency...i keep forgetting to take the supplements, and im not even sure if that is important anyway. maybe. im sorry you are having scary dreams too though, that sucks! sleep issues in general suck.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2025
I did theorize that, but mostly because Peaters wouldn't stop talking about thiamine, magnesium, and glucose-rich foods. I do consume thiamine, as well as magnesium; I started taking potassium as well.
I think I'm just more prone to stress, which would understandably deplete my magnesium reserves. I remember this one book that, just yesterday, I refused to even download because, heh, why the hell would I read a book? I need me 89 one-minute videos rather than a relaxing book-reading session.
If you'll indulge me: I have a solution of magnesium chloride consisting of water and magnesium chloride flakes. I pour a "decent bunch" inside an OJ glass. I don't know how much magnesium that is, but according to my calculations it would be about 100 mg.
A MgCl2 solution tastes like battery acid. It is unbearable. The only way to consume it is by pouring it on something acidic like orange juice.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
Update; if he doesn't pay me back I get his truck title.
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2022
Sorry, am I understanding you right. Your mother is an addict and she's asking you for help with a problem that is in no way, shape or form your problem?
Why are you enabling her addict behaviour even if you can earn that money within a month. You should be cutting her out of your life.
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2024
I'm not doing too bad today. Feeling grateful 
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2021
I'm not in a Secure place to do that for many reasons. Things aren't exactly simple.
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2023
This is more anecdotal but women seem to also favor men who are already in a relationship too. It is far easier for a man to monkey branch from woman to woman than for a single man. I guess they either like the thought of taking a man for themselves, or they subconsciously think he is pre-vetted by being with a woman already.It's nuts. Study shows, obviously, partnered people do better in all aspects of life. I'd meet up at work tomorrow with a smug-ass attitude, knowing I wouldn't get fired, if I had a hoe at home on my side. Get fired? Doesn't matter, I got my hoe and I'll have the confidence to go land a new job. It's like interviewing for a job when you've already got one versus being unemployed. And that's ignoring never having to deal with dating apps, ghosting, modern social media or anything. People who find love in their youth are cheating the system.
That being said I know there's a lot of young love that ends up doing more harm than good. I have two married brothers. One got engaged shortly after high school but they separated before getting married. He married another woman later and now they have three kids together. The other also married very young out of high school and that woman abused him. He's a tough guy and he doesn't let it keep him down, but there are some scars that don't heal. He tries to not let them show.
Apologies for the psycho-analytical rant but it's been on my mind for a while and maybe someone else has some different opinions.
Its a vicious cycle though starting life late. There are a lot of mistakes that you can afford to make when you're young that you can't afford to make as an adult. There are much greater expectations because you have to compete with other men who are more experienced. Confidence is everything, but confidence isn't something you can just conjured up. It's based on your resources. If you have money, or a large social network then even if you fail you lose very little. For someone who is trying to build, every loss is more costly. You take far less risks because you can't afford to, which also means you are less attractive to potential partners or friends. People pick up on it and know subconsciously that a lack of confidence is a giveaway that you are probably not someone who has a lot of resources. Therefore establishing a relationship with you isn't going to benefit them, and may be costly. You can try to fake confidence, but you trap yourself having to keep that mask on.