How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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Banquet Meal said:
she sounds like a huge asshole, and if i were you? i would get her fired somehow. because if shes openly shit talking men, i guarantee you that the moment you dont do exactly what she wants, shes going to throw you under the bus. she sounds intolerable, and im sorry you are dealing with all of that.
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Thank you. I feel confident that my position is not at risk. I've spoken to the store manager about it and he agrees with me, I think especially because he is also the one who has to deal with her. Now that we are out of the holiday season it'll suck to lose a second manager but it wont be as bad and I wouldn't miss her. I guess there's just something in the back of my head that says you shouldn't try to get people fired, and it didn't leave room for *unless they're an asshole The store manager said he'll talk to her. I know there is no reasoning with her through conversation. But I guess the first step is to say you've tried to resolve the issue before you sack them.
 
A new year and I'm moping around like I usually do around holidays and important dates. I have been numb for so long; any joy I feel is so muted and fleeting that I wonder what the point of living even is if it's just to shit, eat, and sleep. I don't LIKE anything anymore. I don't feel like a person. If I let myself sit and feel anything, the self-loathing creeps to the surface and becomes unbearable. And it feels like I'm doing every right - to the fullest extent that I can right now, at least - and the improvement is so minimal. Other people say they can tell I'm doing better, but I'm just...tired. It's discouraging. When my pet passes I'll probably end up roping. I can't picture anything else.
 
This thread is depressing. But I'm doing semi-okay, at least in one aspect, and actually have a kind of amusing story.

My computer has been flaking the fuck out lately. I couldn't open a command prompt without it jumping all over the screen. Even my browser would randomly start going fullscreen and freaking out, and not be able to open new pages without clicking away from them.

I eventually figured out this had to be a stuck function key or multiple stuck function keys, but then after installing keyboard diagnostics for my specific keyboard, every key was fine.

I tried reinstalling, went berserk with that particular tactic, wasted days, and it was still obviously a keyboard problem.

Then I realized I had a Logitech wireless keyboard that had been on top of a shelf for over a year. And a month or so ago I threw a hat up there. And that was the source of the function key nightmares.

I stupidly caused myself every one of these problems. And the message is, you CAN'T TRUST THE SYSTEM MAN.

Also don't throw a hat on top of a keyboard.
 
AnOminous said:
This thread is depressing.
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I don't know if I agree here. Definitely there's a lot of stuff that's pretty grim that's posted, but it's clearly posted by people that think that the other people here can either offer succor or a beneficial interaction - whether that's just commiseration or actual solutioning is up for debate and may not be what they're actually looking for.

I get what you mean and where you're coming from, but the thing that keeps me coming back to this thread is that everyone here is reaching out and i think that's actually a hopeful/optimistic thing and I keep coming back just to see if I might be able to help, even if it's just in some really stupid way.

Also, yes. Put your hats elsewhere.
 
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Spent the night unable to sleep which is uncommon, thinking of how much my life depends on my car. It's 10 years old, just passed 100k km and is generally doing fine. I got a squeaky noise by the rear wheels and just to get that looked at, I need to find a new workshop that actually has loan cars for that one day it'll take to get looked at. It made me think: Even not having my car for one day will just fuck me up. It's 2 hours with public transport. If I crash or otherwise lose that car, I need to find one immediately which never makes for the best way to shop for a car.

How the fuck do people live like this? Those houses just far enough out of the city that you need a car to get groceries. I only recall the family car dying 2 times in my entire life, yet I feel as if my own is such a feeble thing. Just the other day I drove behind a guy who's tire exploded. So anyway: Guess I should start looking for a job closer to my home. 45 mins of driving a day may not be absurd but initially I was offered a job with 15 mins in a straight line.. Kinda sucks being moved, now that I think about it.

WhatInTheActualFuck said:
I don't know if I agree here. Definitely there's a lot of stuff that's pretty grim that's posted, but it's clearly posted by people that think that the other people here can either offer succor or a beneficial interaction - whether that's just commiseration or actual solutioning is up for debate and may not be what they're actually looking for.
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I'm not surrounded by depressing or doomposting people but rather people in the most fucked up situations going "it's rough haha anyway-". Everyone needs to relate, especially in misery, and for some reason these 4chan-adjacent sites like KF tend to have sober moments like this thread. It's nice to hear of other people struggling; I can see why people get addicted to doomposting.
 
WhatInTheActualFuck said:
but it's clearly posted by people that think that the other people here can either offer succor or a beneficial interaction
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yes. i agree with this, and honestly its nice to be able to commiserate with others. i think everyone goes through hard times at one point or another, and its good to be able to offer a kind word, or advice, or just care.
 
AnOminous said:
Then I realized I had a Logitech wireless keyboard that had been on top of a shelf for over a year. And a month or so ago I threw a hat up there. And that was the source of the function key nightmares.
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That is both hilarious and crazy that the battery life in these things is so good that it would work after so long.
WhatInTheActualFuck said:
I don't know if I agree here.
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Indeed. For me it's not an "others have it worse so you shouldn't feel bad" kind of feeling but rather one that's like "others are struggling too so you should give it your best try". It's kind of like you're walking your path alone, but you are aware there are others walking similar paths in parallel, so in a sense you're not entirely alone.
 
Out of superstition I started 2026 with some general cleaning and opening all the windows to let the Old Year Funk out (or maybe that was just stale farts from last night's dinner of Brussels sprouts)
I had two unexpected blessings come today, which makes me feel pretty optimistic about the coming year.

Spilled Spaghett said:
She insists that the store manager is setting her up to get raped by making her close at night with one other person which is usually another woman. Mind you this location is a strip mall next to a large mall. Nothing but shops and a big well lit parking lot. This isn't the kind of place people are getting raped walking to their car.
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Girl needs to try riding a skateboard home from work in the pitch black with nothing but a flashlight like I used to do, that walk in the parking lot would seem a lot more cozy. At a few of my jobs my commute took me uncomfortably close to the homeless camp, though I've never had any issue with them. I did have a creepy experience where a man was lying right on the side of the bike path and I got a bad vibe riding past him. Several hours and brief rainfall later I rode past him again on my way home and he was still there in the same position. Found out later he was dead. :(
 
It's interesting, reading about all the people in this thread that are dying much sooner than they'd wish, or have a child who is dying a slow death. Those of us who are homeless or are teetering on the brink of ruin... It's interesting. Comparison is the the thief of joy, but what about when it goes the other way? I'm not in a great spot right now but clearly a lot of you are in far worse position than I. If anything, it's alienating and comforting. I feel as though my (mostly) mundane problems are so small, but all the same I feel as though I can't relate with anybody.

I've been very lonely lately. I hope you're all off to a great start for the year, and for those of us less fortunate you have my best wishes and condolences.
 
Man, it sucks to have neglected my physical health for so long and I can really tell that my body disagrees with my lifestyle in general. I wanted to go to sleep at a much earlier time than I usually do, only to have a strange ache in my legs. I am actively having to fight a neurotic, doom-n-gloom thought process that wants to scream "you have diabetes, you're going to lose your legs!11" when I know that that's not the case at all, while yes I am obese and yes I am sedentary AF but I have no other physical issues aside from achy legs, and general signs of not having been a very physical person ever.
One of the few things that bring me "comfort" is spending money. I know it's dopamine from retail therapy and not actual, genuine comfort. So I want to push my need for grocery runs as long as I can, because I don't need to go shopping.
Funny how brain chemistry works. But damn it, I want to be free of this feedback loop.

It's chilly as fuck today, there's even ice on the ground with a chance of some snowfall. I'll try to wrap my head around e-books and stuff on my tablet, because who has the budget for hardback books in this day and age, nevermind the physical space for a personal library. Once I've figured that out, I want to get back into reading and maybe I'll even sit in my Comfy Chair ™️ so I can enjoy it before deciding whether I actually want to get rid of it or not. Spend less time rotting in my pc chair, watching brainrot content on youtube, y'know.
 
PetiteFeet said:
Man, it sucks to have neglected my physical health for so long and I can really tell that my body disagrees with my lifestyle in general. I wanted to go to sleep at a much earlier time than I usually do, only to have a strange ache in my legs. I am actively having to fight a neurotic, doom-n-gloom thought process that wants to scream "you have diabetes, you're going to lose your legs!11" when I know that that's not the case at all, while yes I am obese and yes I am sedentary AF but I have no other physical issues aside from achy legs, and general signs of not having been a very physical person ever.
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Weren't you in your early 20s or am I confusing you with someone else? Either way, if Josh can lose 50 pounds in a year so can you!
 
long waters said:
Weren't you in your early 20s or am I confusing you with someone else? Either way, if Josh can lose 50 pounds in a year so can you!
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You're probably thinking of @Lingering butter taste, RIP in pepperonis and I hope she gets the help she needs.

I'm working on losing weight, and I have lost close to 40 pounds already, but I have also been sedentary, isolated and depressed since my teens. Such a lifestyle takes a toll, even if it wasn't 100% my own choice (because no one chooses illness unless they're legitimately mentally ill in a different way)
It's just how things are, and I have accepted very long ago that I will not be a marathon runner, an elite gymnast or similar but that's okay because I just want to live a life that's relatively pain free, with normal aspirations, a normal job and something that fulfils my heart and soul.
 
PetiteFeet said:
I have also been sedentary, isolated and depressed since my teens. Such a lifestyle takes a toll, even if it wasn't 100% my own choice (because no one chooses illness unless they're legitimately mentally ill in a different way)
It's just how things are, and I have accepted very long ago that I will not be a marathon runner, an elite gymnast or similar but that's okay because I just want to live a life that's relatively pain free, with normal aspirations, a normal job and something that fulfils my heart and soul
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Hey Petite, I resonate with a lot of what I've seen you post in this thread. Just wanted to say that, and that I wish you the best. And congrats on the weight loss.
 
stick said:
Hey Petite, I resonate with a lot of what I've seen you post in this thread. Just wanted to say that, and that I wish you the best. And congrats on the weight loss.
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Likewise, friend. We'll get to where we want to be, eventually and through persistence. Even if we stumble a bit, or a lot, as long as we keep going.
 
AnOminous said:
And a month or so ago I threw a hat up there. And that was the source of the function key nightmares.
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There’s some kind of deep metaphor in there.
PetiteFeet said:
It's just how things are, and I have accepted very long ago that I will not be a marathon runner, an elite gymnast or similar but that's okay because I just want to live a life that's relatively pain free,
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Would you want to be those things though? Really the goal is a body and mind that will see you through your life able to do life things. And you seem to be doing well. Anima sane in copore Sano.
 
Session 5 out of 10 with this radiation is done. Getting in and out of vehicles is such a bitch at the moment. Still can't walk, but I can move my legs a bit more. Super heavy feeling. Still a bit scared to try supporting my own weight with a walker since I don't have a lot of control so I've still been wheeling myself around the house. Sucks, I want to stand and walk around again already.
 
My neighbour has taken to harassing me again. She decided to knock on both my windows at night.

I can feel the paranoia and the stress coming. The last time, she spent a whole month of this shit, and it affected me to a point where my mental and physical health took a dip (sleep deprivation). I really don't want to deal with any of that again, and I am getting wound up and super upset at the thought that I am going to, regardless, because no one fucking does anything about schizos being nuisances to society.

I sent yet another complaint to the leasing company. Which would be...the eighth? Over my time living here, I've sent eight emails about her behavior.

Man, this entire mess has ruined my evening, and I'm just pissy and upset. I don't give fuck, next time, becuase there will be a next time, I'm calling the police AGAIN.

If anything the last time I called them, she left me alone since the end of March. Almost to the point where my paranoia went away and I could feel comfortable in my own home again.

Such bullshit. Why do I have to fucking deal with this mess?

She should leave me alone, period but she won't and I get to go in cycles with this cunt for reasons unknown. Why am I not allowed to be safe in my own home? Why do I have to hope that I can be left alone and not harassed when that bullshit should be the standard?
 
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